by Jenika Snow
Adrian moved the steps it took to get to her and stood behind her, not touching her but desperately wanting to. He wanted to ask about her family, where they were, if they were still close. But he let her lead.
“We’d bring our catch home, and I’d watch my mom scale the fish and gut them. The house would smell so bad after it was all said and done, but I always looked forward to those nights because everyone was smiling and laughing. Everyone was together.” She brought her hands up and stared at them as if remembering that particular memory, as if seeing herself baiting those hooks. Her once happy smile turned sad and distant. “My mother died a year later from breast cancer. My father couldn’t handle his grief. He drank and grew distant.”
Was this the past she kept so tightly guarded? He was afraid to touch her. Afraid she would close herself off.
“At the time I hated those fish nights so much. I hated eating it.” She chuckled softly. “But now, after it all, I miss them so much, miss the stench of guts and murky water.”
The sadness in her voice was evident, but he could see in her reflection that she wasn’t crying. Adrian wrapped his arms around her, and he sighed when she leaned back into him.
“My father died of a heart attack a year later, but I believe it was from a broken heart. He loved my mother so much that when she died, he couldn’t live without her, not even for his only daughter.” Tears started making their way down her cheeks, and he gripped her tighter.
What could he even say to make her tears stop?
“I sold their house, moved out of the town I grew up in, and started going to college. I just wanted to start over, to forget my past, to forget that I didn’t have anyone in the world. That’s where I met Cameron. He was eight years older than me and working on his doctorate in psychology. He said all the right things, did all the right things.” Voice dropping lower, she practically whispered, “He made me feel not so alone. He loved me.”
She turned around and gave him a sad smile. His hand was now encased in her much smaller, softer one. Brea led them over to the bed and pulled him down to sit next to her. Silence surrounded them, and he used his finger under her chin to bring her face up.
“You don’t have to do this, Brea. You don’t have to explain anything.” He wanted to know about her, wanted to let her get it all out, but he could tell how hard this was for her, and that ate at him.
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I want to tell you. I need to tell you so you understand exactly why I am the way I am. I need you to know what you’re getting yourself into when it comes to being with me.” They stayed silent for another moment before Brea continued. “The first few years were great. He was considerate of my situation, compassionate, and listened to me when I’d had a hard day. When he graduated with his PhD, we moved in together. I’d just graduated myself with a degree in early childhood education and wanted to continue on for my master’s, but Cameron convinced me to take a year off. To this day I regret listening to him. That was the moment everything changed between us.” The unspoken words hung between them as she pulled her hands from his tight clasp and put them in her lap.
He felt his anger grow, knowing where this was headed.
“There were small warning signs that, when I look back, I see, but I was so blinded by having something in my life, by not being alone anymore. I can look back and know what I felt for him wasn’t love at all. It was that companionship, that fact that he made me feel something more than the desolation I’d lived with.” She rubbed her palms on her thighs and glanced down at the movement. “That first time he—” She locked her lips and cleared her throat. “That first time he hit me, the world came out from underneath my feet.”
Blind fury encompassed Adrian. After a moment he realized she was watching him with wide eyes. He could only imagine what he looked like.
Standing, he paced in front of her. An itch had started under his skin, and he suddenly felt very volatile.
“Adrian.”
He stopped and looked at her. Taking a deep breath, he made himself calm down.
“Please, sit down. I’m not telling you this to upset you. I want you to hear everything.” When he was sitting beside her again, she continued, “I wish I could say it only happened that one time, that I was a stronger person and was smart enough to leave, but I’d be lying.” Her tear-filled gaze cut across to him, and he didn’t hold back the need to wipe them away. “The abuse only escalated from there.” Adrian swallowed hard. “The abuse didn’t stop until I finally found the courage to leave, until I knew I couldn’t survive like this, literally or figuratively. I knew he’d kill me if I stayed.” She looked at him again, this clear composure suddenly on her face. “And so that’s what you’re getting yourself into with me. I’m on the run, and I know he’ll find me sooner or later.”
10
The air left Adrian in a quick rush. Not even when he was hit while in the cage did he become so breathless. This strong woman before him was a fucking survivor. Pain in his palms alerted him to the fact that his hands were clenched so tightly his nails were digging into his skin. Easing up on his death grip, he ran his hand over his hair.
“Fuck, Brea.” The words tumbled out of him, but he hadn’t meant to say them aloud. “There wasn’t anyone you could have talked to about it? Gone to for help?” The idea that she’d been all alone, suffering through that kind of abuse made him sick.
A small shake of her head answered his question. “I was a loner. Even after four years in college, I hadn’t made any real friends. Cameron was always there, spending time with me, keeping my attention. He didn’t make me feel lonely for one second.”
So the prick had been isolating her.
“Now that I’m away from him, I can see what he’d been doing. Slowly he’d been making me dependent on him.” A soft sniffle came from her. “I’m an idiot. I can admit that now that I look back and see how I let my life be controlled. I was just so damn desperate for someone to be there, to love me.”
God, he wanted to tell her he loved her, that he wouldn’t let anyone hurt her ever again. The realization that he’d give his life to her—for her—shocked him to his core. They might not have known each other for that long, but there it was. He loved this girl with a passion that rivaled anything in his former life.
“I stayed in that toxic relationship for far too long. My medical file is as thick as the dictionary, and although I know the doctors and nurses suspected my bruises, broken bones, and numerous concussions were more than just clumsiness, I never had the strength to confide in anyone. Besides, it was my word against his, and Cameron had become a very renowned psychologist.”
“You’re so strong, Brea. You finally left him, and that’s all that matters.”
Her head was shaking before he finished. “No. Don’t you see how weak I am, Adrian? Cameron was never going to let me leave. The only reason I’m away from him, alive, is because he went to a convention out of town. I’d come down with something and was held up for days in bed. Maybe it was fate that I wasn’t able to go with him. He was a very jealous man, so jealous that I wasn’t allowed to speak to the opposite sex in any capacity. I was never to be away from his side for long periods. He was just always there, so I knew when he left town, I had to go because there wouldn’t be another time.”
The look of conviction in her eyes made her seem like a warrior. She was his strong little warrior, and he loved her even more for it.
She. Was. His.
“So, that’s my story. I left him less than a year ago with not even a letter telling him where I was going or why. I’m not who you think I am, Adrian. I had to change my last name, move from city to city because Cameron won’t give up, I know it. The last time he found me, right before I moved here, was quite possibly the most frightening experience of my life, even with all the abuse. The look in his eyes, the sound of his voice.” Her small body shook.
Adrian held her tighter. “I won’t let anyone hurt you again. I promise.”
She buried her face in his chest, breathing roughly, clutching him like a lifeline.
“I wish that were true, Adrian. The only reason I was able to escape the last time was because I was in public and saw him before he saw me.” She didn’t give him time to process what she’d said, because in the next moment her mouth was latched on to his, kissing him frantically.
The taste of her tears mixed with her urgent passion had him instantly aroused. The feel of her warm, lush body pressed against him had his cock growing hard, his balls drawing tight.
“Brea, we don’t have to do this.” He cupped her cheeks in his hands and brought her face up so she was staring at him. “I want you, more than anything, but everything you just told me has made you desperate to forget.” He ran his thumbs methodically over the delicate bones under her creamy flesh. “You’ll regret our first time. I couldn’t bear that, baby.”
She shook her head. “I want this. I need it, and not because we bared our souls to each other. I need you because I…because I care about you so much, more than anyone or anything.” Fat tears streamed down her cheeks, and damn it if he couldn’t give her what she wanted.
The pain that radiated from her was too much to ignore. It took him a moment of just staring at her, but he couldn’t let her feel like this, not when he had the power to take it away. To make her feel better.
“Please, Adrian.” Another whispered plea fell from her lips, and that was what broke his resolve.
Hands spearing into the long, silky blonde strands of her hair, he pulled her closer. Their tongues moved together, sliding, slipping, pressing as one until all he could think about was doing the same thing between her thighs. He knew she’d taste so good, feel so soft against him.
“I’m sorry, Brea. I’m so sorry about everything.” It was all he could say between kisses.
“I need you. I need this,” she whispered.
He’d give himself to her tenfold. He’d give her everything he was until there wasn’t anything left.
11
Adrian used his big body to press her against the mattress. The hardness of his muscles made her feel wholly feminine. Anxiety threatened to consume her, but she refused to let it win. He wasn’t Cameron, and he wasn’t taking this from her. She was giving herself over to the man she’d fallen in love with, the man who gave her so much more than he’d ever know.
The movement of his body against hers wasn’t forceful, wasn’t demanding. He broke the kiss, trailing his lips along the side of her jaw and down to the erogenous spot right below her ear.
“So good, Brea. You feel so good beneath me.”
And he felt so good on top of her. Her legs spread on their own to accept the width of his hips between them. The hard length of his arousal pressed against her panties, moving the material against her saturated flesh. She was so wet for him, so ready to take him into her body.
The bottom of her dress was pushed obscenely up to her waist, showing her lower half and panty-covered mound, if he was inclined to take a look himself. Mouth hot and wet, Adrian continued kissing her. Their hips started moving as if they had a mind of their own, a mindless rubbing and thrusting against each other that made her body hotter with need. Could he tell how wet she was through his jeans?
“I can feel your heat. God, it’s driving me insane.”
That answered her unspoken question.
Tilting her head to the side, she let her lids drop, a moan leaving her at how incredibly good it felt to be with Adrian. His touch was so gentle, soft, and coaxing. One of his hands speared into her hair while the other made slow work of moving down her body until its heavy weight rested on her lower belly.
Her pussy gave a hard spasm. God, she was so ready for him. All she wanted to feel was Adrian thrusting into her, helping her, making her forget what a fucked-up world she lived in.
Because she knew if she gave herself to anyone, it would have always been Adrian.
When his hand started moving lower, her body shook with the force of how much she needed this.
“You’re shaking, sweetheart.” The deep, husky timbre of his voice shot straight to her clit. He stilled, but when she turned her head and kissed the side of his neck, he groaned and resumed his descent.
The large, calloused fingers of his hand slipped against her inner thigh. The roughness of his touch had her moving her hips, trying to get him closer to the part of her body that ached the most.
“Be patient, baby. I don’t want to rush this.”
She wanted to tell him that she wasn’t rushing things, that she needed this like her next breath. “Please, Adrian.” With her mouth still pressed against his throat, she felt him swallow at her plea. “Don’t you want this?”
He turned his head to look at her, and there was so much controlled lust behind his blue eyes. They searched each other’s faces, silent communication passing between them.
“You have no idea how much I want to be inside of you, to feel your body gripping me, bringing me closer to the pleasure I know can only be had with you.”
Mouth gone dry, all Brea could do was stare at him. His words were low but held so much emotion that she felt it down to her bones. “I want that, too. So much. Don’t deny us this, Adrian.” It didn’t take him long to attach his mouth to hers, stoking the fires of desire that had momentarily dimmed as the seriousness surrounded them.
The hand that had become motionless on her inner thigh started caressing her flesh in slow, agonizing sweeps. Closer and closer he moved to her aching, wet cleft. The torture of his touch had her groaning against his skillful mouth. The sound didn’t spur him into action like she’d hoped it would. Instead he took his time, teasing her until she was undulating against him.
Finally he placed his palm against her pussy. Muscles clenched with the need to be filled. “Tell me where you want my fingers.” He murmured the words against her lips, and she sucked in air as her heart thundered behind her ribs.
Could she tell him what she wanted?
“I—” Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and just let herself be free with him. “I want you to touch my…” God, could she actually say it aloud? “I want you to touch my pussy,” she said on a breathless moan.
His whole body tightened atop hers, and his hand clenched on her inner thigh.
“God, Brea. You have no idea how turned on I am right now.” The feel of his tongue on the shell of her ear had a small gasp escaping her. When his hand finally molded between her thighs, she arched her back and cried out. It felt so damn good. Almost too good. “Fuck. You’re so hot and wet.” He kissed her ear. “You’re so ready for me, aren’t you? Your little panties are soaked, sweetheart.”
“Yes, Adrian. I’m so ready for you.” His thickly calloused fingers slid along the edge of her underwear, teasing her, tempting her. He hooked the digits around the elastic where her thigh and labia met, moving it to the side, stroking over her pussy lips.
A fresh gush of moisture left her.
The dress needed to go.
Placing her hands on his chest, she gave a gentle push. Instantly he was off her, giving her space. The look on his face told her he thought she was pushing him away for a completely different reason. Only a second passed between them, and then she was gripping the hem of her dress and lifting it above her head. When the material was gone, he stared at her with a drowsy expression. She still wore her panties and bra, but the look he gave her made her feel totally naked.
“You’re so incredibly beautiful. Do you realize that, Brea?”
Throat so dry she might as well have swallowed sand, she shook her head. The fierce look in Adrian’s eyes had her feeling bolder. She moved onto her hands and knees and crawled toward him. The heat from his body wrapped around her, and she found herself lifting her hand and running it along the collar of his shirt.
“Be with me, Adrian.” The soft glow from the bedside lamp illuminated his powerful body. And when he reached behind him and gripped his shirt, effective
ly pulling it over his head, everything around her stopped. The muscles of his chest flexed as he moved.
He reached for her, bringing her body flush with his and kissing her senseless. Their combined breathing was fast and labored.
With expert movements he gripped her waist and pulled her up so she was straddling him. Jeans still covered his lower body, but the definite outline of his erection pressed incessantly against her. Laying her against the cool cotton sheets, he leaned over her, running his tongue along every square inch of her exposed flesh. Goose bumps formed along her arms and legs, and she found herself gripping his shoulders, pulling him closer.
He moved lower, kissing a scorching trail of wet kisses until his hot breath teased the skin right above her panties. Her focus was riveted to the sight of him gazing up from between her thighs.
Heart pounding a frantic rhythm, she held her breath as she watched him grip the elastic and slowly pull it down her legs, never taking his attention off her. She lifted her hips to help him pull the fabric off, and then he was reaching up, unhooking the front clasp of her bra and pulling it off her.
There she lay, completely naked, her legs slightly spread, and a powerful man’s hot and humid breath sliding over the most intimate part of her. Never had a man’s face been so close to that part of her body.
Adrian’s gaze dipped down and took her in. If she had thought he looked aroused before, the lust was now pouring off him in waves. One thick finger slipped down her center, and she arched her back, a small cry of pleasure escaping her. Could he see how wet she was? How swollen she felt?
“Oh, Brea,” he said on a moan right before he covered her pussy with his scorching mouth.
