"Och, I suppose he did. Tha fool who sought his head at Bannoch Burn found out well enough." Edan replied.
"Aye. He thought tae take an unarmored man by surprise an end tha matter. Instead, Tha Bruce on an palfrey split his skull. Do ye think Tha Bruce lost any sleep over tha killing?" Jamie laughed at the look of amazement on Edan's face.
"What, laddie? Never thought tae compare yurself with Tha Bruce? An why bloody nae? He did what had tae be done, ill, or nae. 'Tis nae different, nae different ahtall."
Edan's brow was furrowed as he stared at Anderson. "I didnae consider that aspect of it before."
Jamie turned away from Edan and draped an arm over his shoulder. "An that, Edan, is why ye come tae yur friends when yur head is in ah muddle. Ye've gone nearly ah year putting yurself an tha rest of us through hell by keeping yur mouth shut. An what did this take, ah wee bit of time an ye're starting tae look at it differently, I'd wager."
"Damn me, if I havnae made ah cockup of it all." Edan muttered as he walked with Jamie out to the stable.
"MacGrough, for tha luv of God! Dinnae be going tha other way on me here. Ye're no more than an honorable man who was forced tae do something that went against tha grain tae keep what was his, from more hurt. An might I add, didnae call on his mate for help when he should have. I did hate missing tha fun."
Edan growled out a curse. Jamie stopped at the door to the stable. "Go along an heal tha lad's wounds. But, from what he tells me, ye have worse trouble than Callum. Ye've ah great deal tae make up tae Rhona, an as badly as ye want intae her skirts, ye had best grovel ah great deal."
Staring at Jamie, Edan stuttered. "Intae her skirts, I've..."
Anderson laughed until he was holding his middle and tears were coming into his eyes. When he could finally take a breath, Jamie dashed the tears away.
"Christ in ah cleft stick! Do ye both think we're all blind? Living on top of one another, we all saw it. I was hard pressed tae bet on which of ye was going tae jump the other." Shaking his head, Jamie waved his hand in the air toward the stable. "Get on with it, Edan. Tha worst is yet tae come."
With that pronouncement, Anderson walked away leaving a stunned Edan standing at the stable door.
Chapter Fifty - Four
It was not easy to convince Callum of the sincerity of his apology. Callum made him swear to beg Rhona's pardon. Asking pardon of Rhona was the next matter that needed addressed. Quite aware of it and desperate to see how Rhona was, Edan held in his irritation with difficulty. As much as he had allowed his emotions to run wild, Edan was determined to keep a tight rein on himself.
It appeared that losing his temper was a habit he needed to break. Nor was he immune to the rages associated with the infamous MacGrough temper. As articulately as possible through clenched teeth, Edan asked Callum to please excuse him, as he did wish to see to Rhona's welfare.
Once released, he hurried up the path to the house. The ashes spread on the ice made navigating the slick path much easier.
Entering the room, he looked for either Kyla or Cadha. Catching Kayla's eye, Edan nodded his head toward the door to his cubby. Shooting him a narrow eyed look, she turned in that direction.
"How is she?" Edan asked the woman.
Kyla had her arms folded tightly across her chest. Refusing to answer immediately, she glared at him in the gathering twilight that was slowly engulfing the inside of the cottage.
"Tha crack on her lug was ah bad one. I dinnae think she should be left alone this night. When she tries tae rise, Rhona gets dizzy."
Edan winced. "Nae good. Do ye think she is able tae eat anything?"
Kyla's belligerent stance eased somewhat as she thought about her patient. "Might be chancy. Perhaps ah bit o' broth, nae more, I'm thinking."
"Per'aps I might take some up tae her." Edan offered in the mildest tone he could muster.
Instantly, Kyla became hostile. "An are ye planning tae give her tha back o' yur tongue again? If ye are, ye can stay away from Rhona. I'm worried enough about her without ye making it worse."
"Nae! I'm most dreadfully sorry. I was worried over tha lass an it got tha best of my better judgment."
With a snort, Kyla responded. "Something has had hold of yur "better judgment" near ontae ah year."
Edan closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Aye. It has. I'm going tae try tae do better. 'Tis been ah nasty span o' time for me. Losing Daracha made me fair crazy. I've nae other excuse for it."
Taking his left hand in her right, Kyla squeezed his fingers. "Ye ken, we've all been praying for ye tae find yur way home. We miss ye, Edan. Tha laird who brought us all here, has been sorely missed."
Opening his eyes, Edan looked into her warm hazel gaze. "Tis been ah long road. I got lost for ah while. Tha wean's birthday coming on hasnae made things any easier. 'Tis as if I couldnae see beyond that day."
"I ken." She sighed. "Tha anniversary of tha day we left tha glen, it nearly left me ah blubbering wreck. Edan, hugging tha hurt tae ye doesnae make it any easier. All of us here have lost tha ones we loved tha most. Ye're father tae tha fatherless now. They count on ye, as we do. I may never find another man that takes my fancy. I'm nae looking tae jump intae something simply for tha sake of having another man. If there's nae chance of having ah marriage as I had, I'm nae going anywhere. Ye ken?"
"Forgive me. Truly, Kyla, I've been in ah strange place an couldnae find my way back." Edan opened his arms and Kyla stepped into his embrace.
Edan hugged her tightly. "Woman, I'm sorry."
Disengaging herself, Kyla nodded at him. "There ye are! That's tha laddie we've all been waiting tae see. Ye can take her ah wee bit o' broth, but nae tossing Rhona until she is better."
Edan felt the heat stain his cheeks. "Was there any who didnae see?"
"Och! All tha weans with tha exception of Lara. That snip of ah lass sees all. God's breath! I dinnae think there's aught can be hidden from that bit o' baggage."
Kyla turned to look out into the room. "Cadha is still with her. Ye can take tha broth up, but Edan, for tha luv of God, go easy with tha woman. She's come ah long way since leaving tha glen an there's ah bit more tae go. Remember, Hamish was all tae her, father, brother and lastly, husband. Rhona needs tae get beyond it. She couldna share him with ye for tha fear of losing. Tread lightly."
Taking the cup of broth from Kyla, Edan started up the stairs. He was not going to be in Cadha's good graces. Scratching lightly at the door, he waited for his grandmother-in-law to acknowledge him.
When she glared at him, Edan raised one hand as if to ward off her anger. "I've had ah talk with Jamie. Seems I've been ah mite out of control. I've apologized tae Callum an need tae mend matters here as well."
Cadha nodded. "Aye? Ye surely have been ah rare bastard. Can ye manage without causing more harm?"
"'Tis tha plan. I need tae talk with Rhona, alone if ye please."
"I dinna wish tae be alone with tha bloody bastard." Rhona cried out. "I'm nae ready tae have him givin me tha sharp edge of his tongue."
"Rhona, I'm sorry. There's some things we need tae discuss, aye. This is nae tha time, I ken. I just want tae sit with ye ah bit. We can see if this broth does ye any good. I'm nae going tae yell at ye."
Eyeing the both of them for a moment, Cadha nodded. "Och! I'll be listening. Dinnae agitate her. Rhona needs quiet, but dinna let her sleep. Mind?"
Pushing a stool toward the side of the bed, Edan sat down on it and placed the cup on the floor beside him.
She promptly turned on her side away from him. When he placed a hand on her shoulder, Rhona jerked away from him.
The movement caused him to frown. "Ive come tae say I'm sorry. I never should have called ye what I did."
Her voice was muffled when she responded. "I'm nae ah "dirty thing". Never once in all tha time with Hamish, from tha time I was naught but ah wean, did I ever look at another lad."
"Aye." He sighed. "I ken. I've nae idea what possessed me tae say such ah thing to ye. It was wrong."
Reaching out again, Edan placed his hand on her shoulder. His voice was nearly a whisper. "I owe ye ah debt greater than I can pay. I ken ye saved Ailene."
He kneaded the muscles of her shoulder lightly. "Do ye recall tha day under tha rowan tree? I saw ye there with Ailene an...an I needed tae see her dreadfully."
Feeling a bit of the tightness leave her shoulder, he leaned forward to whisper in her ear. "Please. I ken I've been ah right bloody mess. But, she was the one who wanted me. Daracha sought me out. Nae other lass did so, an I thought I might live my life alone. I ken ye must have felt tha same for Hamish. Losing her nearly destroyed me entirely."
She was quiet for so long, Edan began to be afraid Rhona might have fallen asleep. Tugging on her shoulder, he sought to turn the woman back toward him. "Dinnae go tae sleep! Ye must stay awake."
With a soft moan, Rhona turned over onto her back. She placed one hand over her eyes. "I'm nae likely tae fall asleep. My bloody head feels like ah huge drum is banging away inside."
"Bloody damn ice! I'm sorry for being such ah daftie. When I saw ye on tha ground...it brought all back with Daracha again. I ken this makes nae ah lick of sense, but I was frightened nearly crazy for ye."
Rhona snorted, then clutched her head, as it caused pain to rip through her again. "Bloody hell!" she mumbled. "Christ! I've never had such ah pain in my head before."
Opening one eye, she looked at Edan. "Did ye nae think it was just comeuppance? After all, ye still blame me for her death."
Taking her free hand in his, Edan shook his head. "'Nae, it was nae yur fault. 'Twas never yur fault. Tally Smith an tha bloody lot he hired, were at fault. I was hurting an took it out on ye. Another thing I need tae ask forgiveness for."
The one dark eye closed again. Her chest rose and fell softly as Rhona lay there. "Edan." Her voice was pitched so low he had to lean forward to hear her, when she finally spoke. "As long as we're going there. I've ah bit, nae ah great deal tae ask forgiveness for. I treated ye sorely when we were weans. An when ye brought Hamish home...I did behave like ah caile. I kicked ye when ye were down. Hamish would have skelped me upside tha lug."
"For today's bit, he would have trounced me thoroughly. Ye ken, ye have ah champion in Callum."
A smile turned up the corner of her mouth. "Aye. Callum is ah good lad. As tae tha rest, I'm thinking Hamish an Daracha would be beating tha both of us intae tha ground with their tongues. Mayhap, 'tis time tae bury tha lot that went before."
"Agreed." Edan returned her smile. "Do ye think ye can stomach some of tha broth?"
With a heavy sigh, Rhona closed her eyes again. "Nae. Later, per'aps. Och, if only my head would stop hurting. Would ye mind rubbing my other shoulder? I fell on tha damnable thing an 'tis hurting fierce."
Knowing he needed to keep her awake, Edan tried to keep her talking. "I didnae see tha fall. What happened?"
"Och! I was sprinkling ash on tha ice, as Adie shoveled snow aside. I'm nae sure. I went asail over teakettle an next thing I was flat on my back an not able tae catch my breath. Then there ye were, shouting an pushing all away."
"Tae get tae yur shoulder, I'm going tae need tae get on tha bed. Ye ken?"
She got very quiet for a moment. Edan stroked her left shoulder that was now turned toward him. "Rhona? I'm going tae ask ye tae turn over onto yur other side. Did ye want tae get under tha bedding? Than I can stay on tha top of tha covers."
In a very low tone she responded. "I'm nae cold yet. Mayhap later, I'll need tae get under tha blankets. It pains greatly, I would appreciate ye rubbing it, truly."
Rising from the stool, he picked up the broth and placed it on top of one of the chests in the room. Sitting on the edge of the mattress, Edan removed his boots.
Climbing onto the bed, he patted the hand Rhona had over her eyes. "Roll over, take yur time. Go easy an mayhap yur head will manage ah bit better."
Flipping over onto her back, she let out a slight gasp. "Ah, God! I moved tae fast."
"I thought as much. Easy does it here. 'Tis nae worse than ah massive head from tae much uisge."
Very slowly she rearranged herself on the mattress to give Edan access to her right shoulder. "If ye get this from tae much uisge, remind me never tae over indulge."
With a low chuckle, Edan propped his head on one arm as he began to rub her shoulder. "Tell me if I'm going at it tae hard here. I've nae wish tae make it worse."
After a short while he felt her slowly get more relaxed. On guard against her falling asleep, Edan shook Rhona gently. "Nae sleeping here, lass. Come along an turn over, so I might see yur face. I need tae keep ye awake."
Turning over with a moan, Rhona opened one eye to peer at him. "Aye, well I'm awake here. Are ye sure I cannae sleep ah wee bit?"
"Very sure. Talk tae me, so I can be sure ye are awake."
"I'm nae in tha mood tae talk. Ye talk tae me. Tell me something tae keep me interested an awake. Tell me what happened when ye left tae bury her."
"Lass, I've nae wish tae pour tha whole thing out. It pains me tae think on it all."
Wiggling over to him, Rhona reached a hand up to his cheek. "I'll make ah bargain with ye. I'll tell ye about Cai, if ye tell me about tha other. I'm thinking maybe we both need wounds drained."
Edan stared down into her upturned face, before he nodded in agreement. "Aye, it's a bargain then."
"Edan, might I put my head on your shoulder? It's easier tae talk about such things if I'm nae looking right at ye."
He smiled at her. "Surely, ye may. First, let me get ah spare covering from tha bedding chest. I'm thinking we may yet get cold. 'Tis likely tae be ah long night."
Rising from the bed, he went to the chest and pulled out a blanket. After spreading it over her, Edan went back to the bed. Settling himself on the pillow, Edan tilted his head to look at her. "Come along, now. Settle in an we'll get on with tha telling."
Fully clothed, Rhona cuddled next to Edan with her head pillowed on his shoulder. "Ye ken, I've never told tha whole of it tae anyone."
"Hamish didnae ken all of it?" he asked in amazement.
"Nae. None, even Mither doesnae know tha whole." she said without looking at him. "An ye're never tae breathe ah word tae anyone. Agreed?"
"We'll have ah pact between us, lass. I cannae say I want anyone tae hear tha whole of my part either."
He put both arms around her and Rhona began to tell him her story.
Chapter Fifty - Five
As he listened to the story of Rhona's early childhood, Edan wondered how her father managed to get away with the cruelty he inflicted on his child. Thinking about it, their cottage was a bit away from the others on the small lane down from the keep.
She was silent for a short time and Edan debated on asking questions. But, he needed to know how the secret had been kept. Rhona told him the first thing her father taught her was to keep quiet, no matter what.
Burying her face in the bedding was another way in which the pain he inflicted was concealed. Cai was also very careful to never leave marks on a part of the body easily seen.
Evina felt ashamed of Cai, so tended to conceal the things he did to her and to Rhona. The terrible beating Cai gave Evina was the thing that brought it all to a head. Gara and Cadha took the matter to Birk, who confronted Cai. Then her father took himself off to Glasgow. Each time Cai left, he stayed longer in town. Finally, he did not return.
"I was seething inside. I hated men an wanted nothing tae do with any. Hamish was my playmate, he made me laugh. I'm thinking mayhap Cai taught me tae be cruel. I needed someone tae hurt as he hurt me. Ye were different, I could say things tae ye an ye only shied away from me more. I said hurtful things tae ye 'cause I needed tae make someone else hurt as I did."
Edan could tell by the tightness of her voice and the slight shaking of her body, Rhona was crying. Thinking about those years, he sighed. Nothing about it all could be changed. However, they could change the future.
"I'm sorry he did those t
hings tae ye. Aye, I had my own problems then. I never felt quite whole, even with all Hamish did for me. I always felt on tha fringes, in tha shadows."
Beneath the blanket, Rhona lifted her skirt to wipe her face. "I was hateful to ye, ah rare bitch. Can ye forgive me?"
Hugging her tightly for a moment, Edan loosened his hold on her. "Ye are forgiven. God's teeth, lass! I'd not have my bairn if not for your kindness. Sometimes things cause us to lose our hold on sanity. 'Tis my turn here an I'm almost afraid tae tell ye what I did an how."
She snuggled a bit closer to him and Rhona's left arm slid across his chest. "Dinna fash yurself. We've ah pact, remember? An I think tha thing we left unspoken, was along with nae breathing ah word tae ah soul, there's tae be nae judging."
After considering her words for a brief instant, Edan agreed. "Aye. Ye may find, I've ah wee bit more of ah hard tale than ye. If ye wish me tae stop at any time, ye've only tae ask."
"I ken. Now, tis time tae begin. I'm listening."
Edan began to tell Rhona what had happened from the day he left the cottage with Daracha's body for the glen. When he would have given her only the bare facts, Rhona insisted on knowing what he was thinking and feeling.
It was hard to open the wound and let the blood flow again. Rhona encouraged him with gentle questions. The softness of her body cuddled next to him combined with the darkness of night enabled him to speak of it.
When he came to the incident under the rowan tree, Edan finally admitted he was afraid to come home. He was frightened he would no longer fit in to the family he had committed murder for.
"Murder?" Rhona whispered. "Somehow, I nae think it was murder. Ye fought them fairly."
"Fairly might be stretching it ah bit. I'm better trained an picked tha ground."
She laughed softly. "As any good warrior would. Ye're applying what measuring stick tae tha matter? I wouldnae bring this up tae wound ye. God kens I've done enough of that in tha past. They were aware of yur physical problem, they didnae mind taking any advantage they could. Might I mention, it seems tae me you've nae been using tha brace lately."
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