by Donna Alward
His heart warmed. She had such a way of putting things, of seeing the good side, of offering hope. And that was something he hadn’t expected to have for a very long time.
Still, she was right about one thing the other day. Writing a scene was one thing. Moving forward on a personal level was something he was not ready for. Her question had rocked him to the soles of his feet. No, he hadn’t been thinking of Jennie when he’d kissed Jess. And that had hurt him deeply. He didn’t ever want to forget the woman he’d loved. The mother of his child.
He didn’t want to fall in love again, either. If he’d learned anything, it was that life was precious and nothing was guaranteed. He’d loved Jennie, loved their son with all his heart. He’d promised to do better for them than his father had done for him. And then he’d done the exact same thing: he’d put work ahead of his family. And the consequences were devastating. He never wanted to go through that again.
Which brought his thoughts around full circle to Jess.
He liked her. A lot. And there was no denying he was attracted to her. That kiss the other day had awakened something in him that had been dormant for too long. It was a good thing that she was just here for the summer. Someone passing through his life, not sticking around. There was a little bit of safety in that, after all. The confusing thing was how to proceed. Should they be friends? Could they be friends without being physical? Could they be physical without falling in love? Because the last thing he wanted to do was set up unreasonable expectations.
Bran figured he was probably overthinking, so he pushed the thoughts aside and went out to the lighthouse instead. He walked around the perimeter, examined the ground around the base, looked up at the platform high above. Brow furrowed, he took the key and went inside, then lugged the single mattress up the stairs, trying to ignore the dust and probably mold that had settled into it. Once outside, he gingerly felt his way to the railing, making sure not to get too close. And then he tipped the damp and heavy mattress over the edge, seeing where it fell.
A person would be heavier, but the placement at the bottom was what he was after.
He went inside, shut the trapdoor and timed how long it took him to get back outside and to where the “body” lay. Satisfied, he dragged the mattress back inside and left it on the floor in a puff of dust.
It really was a shame that it was in such disrepair. Had the previous owners not cared? The house was three thousand square feet of elegance and had been lovingly cared for. The lighthouse, full of history, was a derelict.
Maybe he could be the one to restore it.
Energized, he trotted back to the house. First, he wanted more words. There were some adjustments that needed to be made in the scenes he’d just written. And after that, he’d start researching restoration.
He didn’t need to think about Jessica Blundon at all. He just needed something to keep him occupied, and this was perfect.
* * *
Jess spent one more week sketching at the lighthouse, but Bran never came out anymore. She didn’t even see him on his balcony, or in his gardens. It was as if he was deliberately avoiding her ever since they’d shared that kiss. Or kisses, rather. There’d been two. One impulsive. The other not. He wasn’t pleased about either.
Now she had started painting, and while she missed sitting out in the sunshine, she was enjoying her time in her makeshift studio with the familiar smells and tools around her. Her loft in Chicago was bigger, but this suited her just fine. She had only to take a few steps to make a cup of tea or something to eat. The ocean was outside her door. And while she didn’t want to overstay her welcome, Jeremy and Tori had become friends and she saw them often. Baby Rose was growing each day, and Tori was starting to look slightly more rested as she got more sleep. Jeremy doted on her in a way that was so sweet it made Jess’s heart hurt.
She’d never had a love like that. She’d loved, sure. But each time that particular blossom had bloomed, it had ended up wilting, too, until there was nothing left but to move on. She tried not to overthink it. Ana had always said that there was no one good enough. That no one understood what it meant to be a creative. Or they were jealous of her talent. Compliments all, but lonely just the same. And each time a relationship ended, a little bit of hope for a family of her own died, too.
But she could live a fulfilled life just the same. It was all about being happy with what you had, rather than spending too much time wishing. Wishing just led to disappointment.
Right now she was working on her first painting, starting small, working from the sketch she’d made of the door and the daisies beside it. She wanted to do a whole series here, not just of the lighthouse but of the whole experience of being on the South Shore.
But she missed Bran. She’d be lying to herself to deny it.
A week passed. The end of June approached and she worked long hours, taking time only for walks and meals. She spoke to her agent and negotiated with Tori to stay at the boathouse until the end of August. Then she, her sketches and paintings would head back to Chicago. She could finish there in her own studio.
Finally, on a Friday night, Tori asked her up to the house for dinner. Jess pressed her phone to her ear and asked the tough question. “Is Branson going to be there?”
“No,” Tori replied. “He’s gone to Halifax for something. It’s just us. And I’m not even cooking. Jeremy is stopping for fish and chips on the way home.”
Her stomach growled. That sounded so good... “Okay, then. Let me clean up and I’ll be there. What should I bring?”
Tori laughed. “Yourself?”
“How about wine? Or can you have any?”
“I can sneak a glass. I’ve got enough milk expressed to feed Rose. That would be lovely.”
So Jessica washed up, changed into a simple floral maxi dress, twisted her hair into a messy topknot and grabbed not only a bottle of pinot grigio but a basket of early-season strawberries. They’d make a simple dessert after their takeout meal.
When she arrived at the house, Tori was outside in the backyard, putting plates on the patio table while Rose kicked and played in a playpen covered with a fine mosquito net. “Are the bugs bad?” Jess asked, handing over the wine.
“No. I’m just overly cautious, I think, and hate the thought of an itchy bite on Rose’s delicate skin. To be honest, I just love eating dinner outside. Unless it’s raining, we eat out here nearly every night.”
“You guys are the cutest.”
Tori beamed. “Do you think? Wait’ll I tell Jeremy. ‘Cutest’ isn’t something he’s used to being called.”
They went into the kitchen briefly and Tori put the wine in the fridge to chill, then put the berries on a shelf. “You know, six months ago I was living in a tiny little house and working at the Sandpiper. It’s hard to believe this is my life now. I’m so lucky. I’m so happy.”
They went back outside, sitting in the shade next to Rose’s playpen. “How did you and Jeremy meet, then? He’s from New York, right?”
“Connecticut originally.” She reached inside the netting and handed Rose a ring with keys on it. The baby shook her fist and the keys rattled, making her even more excited. “He came here on business last summer and stayed at the Sandpiper. Two weeks later he was gone.” She met Jess’s gaze. “When he came back at the end of November, he discovered I was pregnant.”
“Oh, wow.” Jess sat back in her chair. “So you got married?”
Tori laughed. “If only it were that simple. But we did in the end. After we fell in love with each other. And now here we are. We’re going to split time between here and New York. Jeremy’s actually looking for a place for us on Long Island. He’ll commute in to work. And he has a flat right by Central Park.”
Three residences and all of them pricey. “I didn’t realize he was so rich.”
“Neither did I. He and Bran and Cole are all loaded. I call them the
Billionaire Babies.”
Jessica coughed. “Did you say Billionaire Babies?”
Tori nodded. “You didn’t know?”
“I knew Branson was successful, but a billionaire?”
Rose started to fuss so Tori took her out of the playpen and sat her on her lap. She straightened her little dress as she chatted. “Oh, most of his money is family money. To be honest, I don’t think their childhoods were great. Lots of money, not much love and high expectations.”
A billionaire. A freaking billionaire. And yet he was living proof that money was no guarantee of happiness. He’d lost the people most important to him. No money could protect him from that. The conversation they’d had during their picnic came back to her. She’d teased him about servants...but she’d only been teasing. He’d been serious. Of course he’d had servants. Hot embarrassment slid into her cheeks.
“Does it change things?” Tori asked.
“What do you mean?”
Tori rubbed Rose’s back and a little burp came out, making them laugh. Tori cuddled her close but then leveled her gaze on Jess. “Knowing he’s rich. Does it change how you feel about him?”
Jess frowned. “Why would it? I couldn’t care less about his bank balance. Besides, I barely know him.”
Tori was quiet for a long moment, and Jess felt her cheeks warm. “Are you sure?” Tori asked.
“Sure about not caring about his money, or sure about barely knowing him?”
“About not knowing him,” Tori said. “I believe you about the money. To be honest, I found it a little intimidating at first.”
Jess sighed. She did, too. She did just fine on her own, and was successful in her own right. But she wasn’t megarich. “It doesn’t matter either way. He’s still grieving for his wife and son. Even if I were interested, he’s not.”
“So nothing’s happened? Nothing at all?”
Tori sounded so hopeful. And Jess had never been one to kiss and tell, but she hadn’t really had a girlfriend since Ana. She missed having someone to confide in, and Tori knew Bran better than most. Would it hurt to get someone else’s perspective? Was she overthinking all of this or getting it wrong? Because she certainly hadn’t been able to get him off her mind.
“We kissed,” she admitted, the heat in her cheeks now a burning flame. “But just one time, really. He hasn’t spoken to me since.”
Tori leaned forward, her eyes flashing. “Oh, that’s wonderful news!”
Jess laughed in spite of herself. “How do you reckon? I mean, we’re not speaking.” Besides the text about writing again, she thought to herself. But that didn’t really count.
“Bran wasn’t even leaving the house. Jeremy was so worried. The fact that he kissed you? Major progress.” Suddenly her face fell. “Oh, I’m sorry, Jessica. I didn’t take into account how you were feeling about it. Are you doing okay?”
She sighed. “Yeah, I’m okay. I mean...it was pretty great. But I could tell he was mad at himself after, you know? So it didn’t really end well.”
“Well, something happened to him to light a fire beneath his butt. He told Jeremy he was going to Halifax for a few days to look into restoration of the lighthouse. He said it’s in rough shape, and he wants to fix it up.”
Jess sat up straighter. “Are you kidding?”
“Not at all.”
Jess was gutted. The lighthouse was beautiful as it was, strong and scarred. Granted, the platform at the top could use repairs, and it was dirty inside, but restoration? For what purpose? It would be covering up all its character. It would be as if he were erasing anything that smacked of the two of them together. And that stung. Even if it didn’t go anywhere, she could take a nice memory away from that afternoon. She certainly didn’t feel the need to paint over it.
In fact, the whole encounter had enhanced her approach to the paintings. Imbued her with a new emotion that would only be beneficial.
She was still stewing when Jeremy came through the house to the backyard through the house, carrying a huge paper bag in his hands. “Someone call for dinner?”
The smell of fries and fish filled the air, and Jess’s stomach rumbled again. She was hungry, and what Bran did with the lighthouse was his business, wasn’t it? She had absolutely no say. She had her sketches. Branson Black could do whatever he liked. And now she knew he had the money to do it. Despite the big house and beautiful car, she’d had no inkling he was so wealthy. He wasn’t flashy about it. She’d give him that much.
Jeremy laid out the meal, and Jessica went inside to get the wine and the corkscrew that Tori had put on the island. When she went back outside, Jeremy was holding Rose and Tori was filling her plate with food. It was so perfectly domestic. She wondered if Bran had experienced these moments with his wife and baby. Surely he had. And she could understand how a person might not come back from a loss like that.
She was sympathetic. But it didn’t mean she was willing to be...disposable.
Pasting on a smile, she took a takeout container and emptied it onto her plate. It certainly smelled delicious. Jeremy put Rose in her playpen again and worked on opening the wine. She’d stumbled onto the sticking point that had been nagging at her ever since that day at the lighthouse. He’d treated her as if she was disposable. And maybe he was angry at himself. But there was no question she’d felt cast aside, and that hurt. After going through most of her life feeling invisible, being seen and discarded hurt even more than not being noticed at all. This was why she didn’t put herself out there anymore. It just wasn’t worth it.
But she wasn’t going to let it ruin her evening, so she shook some vinegar on her fish, picked up her fork and dug in. It was perfectly flaky, the tartar sauce creamy and flavorful, and there was a plastic dish of coleslaw for them to share. The conversation turned to other things, namely Jeremy’s search for a property for the third in their trio, Cole, who wanted something he could use as a corporate retreat. So far not much had turned up on Jeremy’s radar.
When the meal was over, Jess carried the dirty dishes back to the kitchen and returned to the table with the carton of freshly washed berries. As the evening cooled, they talked and Jess had another glass of wine while Tori gave Rose a prepared bottle.
Jess was barely over thirty, but the family scene had her biological clock ticking madly tonight. When Rose was finished eating, she took her from Tori’s arms to give her a break and to get baby snuggles. She hadn’t thought about wanting children a whole lot, but spending time with Rose these past weeks had made her wonder. She smelled so good; like milk and baby lotion and fresh cotton. The fact that the baby settled so easily into her arms made her feel motherly and strangely competent. It took no time at all before Rose’s little lashes were resting on her cheeks and her lips opened slightly, slack in slumber.
She was such a sweet little thing. And for the first time in years, Jessica let herself really yearn for what she didn’t have. What she might never have. And she held on tight.
CHAPTER SIX
THE SUN WAS setting and Jeremy had just lit the citronella torches when the slamming of a car door echoed through the still evening air. Jess frowned and looked over her shoulder, but couldn’t see anything. A few moments later, Tori met her gaze and nodded. Bran, she mouthed, and Jess swallowed tightly. She was still thinking about the kiss, and thinking about him restoring the lighthouse. She bit down on her lip. She couldn’t escape the notion that he was fixing it because he wanted to essentially cover up what had happened between them. A fresh coat of paint and some new lumber would erase a lot, wouldn’t it?
“Good evening, Bran,” Tori said softly. “Come on in and have a seat. You want a drink?”
“Naw, I’m good for now.” He came into the circle and nodded at Jess, his gaze settling on her and the baby in her arms. “Jessica. I didn’t know you’d be here.”
Or else he wouldn’t have come. She summoned
her pride. “Likewise.”
He hesitated, but then sat. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”
Her cheeks heated and she let out a breath. “It’s okay. No biggie.”
Jeremy jumped into the middle of the awkwardness. “So, Bran. What brings you by? How was the trip to Halifax?”
“Good.” Bran smiled, and it transformed his face. Jess realized she’d hardly ever seen him smile, and that when he did she forgot just about everything in her head. His face completely changed, relaxing and opening more, while his soft lips curved beneath his beard.
The beard that had tickled her chin and neck not long ago. She pushed the thought away.
“You’re really going to change the lighthouse?” Jess asked, trying hard to keep censure out of her voice. She had no claim to it. Her creative “tingles” held no weight when it came to what he chose to do with the lighthouse It didn’t mean she had to be happy about it.
He nodded. “Yeah. It’s in pretty rough shape. I honestly think it’s been neglected for decades. First we’re going to make it safe. Then we’ll worry about cosmetics.”
“You don’t think all the changes will erase its character?”
“If I leave it as it is, it’ll rot away. I don’t want it to disappear.”
“Not to mention how it might work against resale value,” Jeremy pointed out, lifting his glass as he sat in a padded chair. “Sometimes selling points become liabilities real fast.”
Jess’s gaze met Bran’s. “You’re thinking of selling already?”
When he shook his head, she was relieved, though she couldn’t say why. Her life wasn’t here, and there was nothing really between them anyway. Why should she care if he stayed or not?
“No,” he answered firmly. “I don’t plan on selling for a while. Even if I go back to New York eventually, this is a great place to retreat to, you know?”
