by Donna Alward
Bran nodded. “Looks like it. He’s right. It’s a steal. Besides, Cole’s changed a lot in the last year. He tries not to show it, but he has.”
“How so?”
“He took over his father’s businesses when he was only twenty-three. He’s accumulated more since, and I’ve never seen anyone work so hard or play so hard. It caught up with him and while he won’t come right out and say so, I think he hit some burnout. He stepped away for a few months.”
“He’s okay now?” She looked up ahead. Cole was talking energetically with Jeremy and Tori, his hands gesturing wildly. It was impossible to imagine him slowing down, let alone grinding to a full stop.
Bran nodded. “I think so. But this place...it’s different. He doesn’t want it to simply acquire something new and shiny. He wants to use it to help executives and companies. Corporate retreats. Team building events. That sort of thing. It’s not very Cole, but people change when life kicks them in the ass.”
“Like it changed you.”
“Cole and I grew up in the same world. We wanted for nothing, but that came with heavy expectations. My parents never wanted for me to be a writer. It was a waste of my time, they said. For a kid who supposedly had every privilege, it felt very much like I was in a cage. Until I got to Merrick and found Cole and Jer. So when my life went sideways, it wasn’t all my money or status that got me through it. It was those two.”
He looked over at her. “You’ve been kicked, as well. But you know, quite often we’re better people for it.”
She wondered at that, really. She knew he’d do anything to turn back the clock and redo that night two years ago. But if he also liked the changes that had happened this summer, that was something huge. “Are you happy, Bran?”
They stopped for a moment and he faced her. “I’m happier than I’ve been in a very long time, and it’s unexpected. I have you to thank for that.”
He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. She was stunned; while it was no big secret that she and Bran were spending time together, for him to make such a gesture while they were with his friends felt huge.
“Come on,” he said. “We need to catch up or we’ll miss our ride.”
They climbed on the golf cart, squeezing three of them on the bench seat in the back, and Jeremy drove them past the farmhouse and down a long lane, clear to the other side of the island. The land vacillated between green forests and meadows with waving grass and wildflowers, wild and untamed. But before long the landscape turned into landscaped lawns and gardens, and a grand house appeared.
Cole turned around from the front of the cart and grinned. “Twelve thousand square feet. A dozen bedrooms, eight bathrooms, a kitchen that’s a chef’s dream and hopefully a room I can convert into a boardroom-type meeting room. What do you think?”
Jess grinned. “It’s ginormous!” It was more the size of a hotel than a house.
Cole laughed. “I don’t do things halfway. Didn’t Bran tell you that?”
She nodded, still grinning. “He did.”
The Realtor was waiting for them, and Jess and Bran once again brought up the rear as they were taken on a tour of the house. Jess had never been in anything like it, and was absolutely dazzled. There were indeed twelve bedrooms, each beautifully appointed with gleaming wood furniture and expensive linens. The bathrooms had marble counters and gold fixtures; three had Jacuzzi tubs and there was a sauna downstairs, next to the fully equipped exercise room. A theater room with a large projector screen and theater seating made Jess’s eyes goggle.
Back upstairs, the Realtor showed them the addition on the back that held an indoor heated pool. The kitchen was huge, with double stainless-steel refrigerators and a large range with spider burners as well as double wall ovens. There was a small dining area, and then a large adjoining room with a table for at least twelve. To go with the bedrooms, Jess supposed.
One of the large rooms off the foyer could be turned into the meeting room Cole wanted. The other had a conversation pit, and a grand piano in front of tall, gleaming windows.
It was easy to see that Cole was in love with the place, and he and Jeremy kept their heads together, discussing details. Tori took out her phone and called home to check on Rose, and Bran caught Jess’s eye and pointed outside. “Come on,” he said quietly. “Let’s explore outside.”
“I’d like that.”
The sun was bright and cheery as they stepped out of the grand house. “Oh, it’s amazing,” she said, “but too big for me.”
“I know. But for what he’s intending to do with it? It’s perfect.”
“Probably.” She peered up at him. “I think for me it’s...not really a home. It doesn’t have that homey kind of feeling about it.”
Bran studied her for a moment. “Do you feel that way about my house?”
She took his hand, and they started to walk across the plush lawn. “Not really. Yours is different. With yours, it can be cozy and welcoming and have that vibe. The possibility is there. I don’t know how else to explain it.”
“What would it take for it to be that way?”
The answer came to her mind so quickly it left her speechless. Children, she thought. Family. Love.
She couldn’t say those things, so she simply answered, “Healing.”
He tugged on her fingers and turned her toward him. “I’m trying.”
Her heart squeezed at the honest confession. “I know. And you’re doing just fine.” She slid closer, wrapping her arms around him and nestling close to his strong, wide chest. “And along the way, you’ve been healing me, too. For what it’s worth, I’ve loved every moment in your house, from the first time I walked in and saw you with your shirt off.”
His arms cinched tightly around her, pulling her close as he laughed. His breath was warm on her hair as they hugged, his body tall and strong and the kind a woman could lean on when she wanted. The brisk wind off the ocean buffeted their bodies, but they stood firm against it, holding on to each other, the moment touching Jess’s heart more than any of their more intimate moments. He pulled back a bit and cupped her face in his hands, his smile replaced with a look of wonder. “You’ve changed everything,” he said roughly, and brought his lips down on hers for a kiss.
It was a hell of a time for her to realize she’d broken the ground rules. She’d gone ahead and fallen in love with him. But she wouldn’t say it. Not and ruin what they had, when it was so fleeting to begin with.
* * *
Bran tried not to think about that kiss as he strolled along the beach with Jess. She stopped now and then to pick up shells, and took off her shoes to dip her toes in the cool water, the light breakers ruffling over her feet before creeping up on the sand and then retreating again. Her hair had come out of its bun and whipped around in the stiff breeze, and her laugh carried to him, making his heart hurt and yearn for things he couldn’t have.
He’d seen her feelings on her face even if she hadn’t said the words. She had turned away and laughed, running for the beach, but the distraction didn’t quite work. He’d seen it, the way her lips fell open the slightest bit with words unsaid and the soft vulnerability and surprise in her eyes. He didn’t want to say goodbye to her, not yet. The summer was just coming into its own. There was a good six weeks they could have together if they didn’t let emotions get in the way. So thank God she hadn’t said what had been written all over her face.
A gull cried overhead, circling above them. He could just pretend it had never happened, that’s all. No declarations of love. That was the rule. And despite his suspicions, she hadn’t broken it.
Cole, Jeremy and Tori joined them briefly, then as a group they left the beach and made their way back to the golf cart for the return trip to the dock. Bran remained quiet as Cole admitted that he was putting in an offer, and talked excitedly about his plans.
Back on the mainland,
Jeremy offered Jess a drive home since they were going to the same place anyway, and that meant Cole and Bran drove back to his house together. Bran was quiet on the way back, until they were nearly at his house. Cole broke from his monologue about the island property and frowned at Bran.
“You know, I wasn’t expecting you to have fallen in love this summer.”
Bran’s head swiveled so fast he nearly put the car in the ditch. “What? I’m not in love. Don’t be ridiculous.” He chuckled tightly, as if to show how ludicrous of an idea it was, and focused on the road.
But Cole’s expression was grim as he continued to stare at Bran. Bran kept glancing over, until Cole finally said, “Dude, it was written all over your face today. You light up when she’s around.”
“Lighting up is not love, dumbass. It’s enjoying someone’s company.”
“You know, I’d be tempted to say, ‘if you say so,’ but I’m not, because this is serious, Bran. I want to be happy for you. But I’m not sure you’re ready, and she seems like a great person. She doesn’t deserve to be hurt.”
Bran’s temper flared. “If you think Jess and I haven’t talked about it, you’re wrong. Both of us have our eyes wide open.”
And then he thought of the way she’d looked at him today, and his heart stuttered.
They turned onto his lane and made their way into the garage. The doors echoed in the silence, and Bran opened the door from the garage to the house.
Maybe Cole would let the matter drop.
“Hey, listen. Jeremy and I have been talking about it, too. We’re both concerned for you. He said your car has been there overnight. And that you guys went to the city and spent the night earlier this month.”
Heat rushed through Bran’s chest as irritation flared again. “That is no one’s business but ours.”
“You’re right.”
“And it’s just sex.”
Cole started laughing, putting his hand on the island in the kitchen to brace himself. “Oh,” he said, catching his breath. “Bran, you’re a horrible liar. I’ve known you for most of your life. You don’t do casual sex. You don’t get with a woman without your heart being involved. Brother, you are lying to yourself.”
Bran opened his mouth to speak, but Cole held up a hand. “Hey, don’t get me wrong. Losing Jennie and Owen was such a horrible, horrible thing, and you deserve to move on and be happy again. I just... I find myself feeling protective of you. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Those last words took the heat out of Bran’s anger. Cole was a workaholic and he played hard—when he made time for it. But of the three of them, he was the most protective. Like the big brother of the group. As much as no one wanted to admit it, Cole was the glue that bound them together.
And Cole was always there for them...even when he wasn’t taking care of himself.
Bran let out a breath. “I can’t love her, Cole. There’s no danger of that. But I care about her a lot. She’s fun and full of life, and she doesn’t let me get away with anything. I’m actually writing again, which is a total surprise and a massive relief. But she lives in Chicago. I live here and in New York. We both agreed that this is a temporary thing where we just enjoy each other for the time we have. Because life is short.”
Cole went to the fridge and took out two cans of soda. He handed one to Bran and then snapped the top on his own and leaned against the counter. “Okay,” he said quietly, “okay. Maybe that’s true. But Bran, it’s okay if you fall in love with her. You know that, right? I’m worried about you, but it’s not wrong.”
A pit opened up in Bran’s stomach as he looked at his friend. How could he make Cole understand when he was finding it hard to understand himself? He wasn’t even sure he was capable of being in love. And the look on Jess’s face today scared him to death. Not so much because she loved him but because he couldn’t feel that way in return.
“I can’t, Cole.” His voice was low and rough. “My heart won’t let me. Maybe it would be easier if I could. Right now I’m trying to look at all the positives. I’m not hurting so much. I’m getting out, I’m writing again. Anything more is a lot to ask for.”
“Yet up until she showed up in your life, you weren’t doing any of those things. Doesn’t that say something to you?”
Bran let out a sigh of resignation. “Yeah,” he said, looking past Cole and out at the backyard. “It tells me she deserves someone who can give her a lot more than I can.”
And in that moment, he knew he had to stop what was between them.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
JESS POURED HERSELF some orange juice and tried to decide if she wanted yogurt and berries this morning or something a little more comforting, like toast with butter and jam. She was feeling rather out of sorts after yesterday. The trip to the island had been fun and she’d enjoyed it, but she wasn’t so sure about her latest revelation.
She didn’t want to be in love with Bran. Up until yesterday, she’d been able to logic her way out of it. But then there was that moment. The moment he’d kissed her, however, something had shifted. Something profound and deep and joyful and sad and terrifying all wrapped up in one ball of emotion.
She loved him, and she wasn’t sure if she should break it off now for the sake of self-preservation, or if she should give herself these final weeks as a gift, no matter the end result.
She really wished Ana was here to give her advice and ask her the right questions. Tori was a good friend. Jess had other friends in Chicago. But none like Ana.
A wave of grief threatened to swamp her, so instead she reached for her pillbox, which contained her vitamins and birth control. She stared at the little plastic strip with surprise. How was it that she was on her two sugar pills? It meant she’d get her period anytime. She went to her bedroom to get the next month’s supply out of the drawer and put it in the little sleeve. So much had changed since her last cycle. It had literally been only a little over a month since she’d met Bran. Her whole world had been turned upside down.
She was just eating her yogurt when her phone buzzed. It was a text from Bran, explaining that Cole was in town for only a few more days and they were going to spend some time together, but he’d be in touch by the weekend. That was that, then. She’d have time to think and make some decisions before seeing him again.
And in the meantime, she’d paint. There was nothing that helped her work through her problems like putting her heart on canvas.
* * *
By Saturday Jess was starting to panic.
She was three days into her new pack of pills and she hadn’t had a period at all. Granted, being on the pill made them lighter, but usually on her second sugar pill she started, like clockwork. She laid in bed, staring at the bunk above her, trying not to freak out over the fact that she might be pregnant. Because she’d replayed every detail of her nights with Bran, and had discovered that the morning after their hotel stay she hadn’t taken her pill at all. She’d missed it completely. It shouldn’t make a difference, but it could. They’d had room service, and she’d come home and had been so distracted that she was sure she’d missed her pill and her vitamins.
She couldn’t be pregnant. Oh, Lord, what a mess that would be. She wanted children but not this way. Not with a man who didn’t want any. Not on her own with no support. She didn’t know how to be a mother.
She threw off the covers. Okay, so that might be putting the cart a long way before the horse. She really couldn’t do anything until she took a test. Maybe she just missed for whatever reason. And if it was positive, then she’d figure things out. One step at a time.
The drive to the pharmacy didn’t take that long, and Jess figured there was no point in waiting and putting off something that wouldn’t change the outcome. So she took one of the tests out of the box and into the bathroom she went. Then she came out and made coffee while waiting the three minutes suggested.
> When she went back in and looked at the stick, she let out a huge breath.
Negative.
Her hand shook as she dropped the test in the trash can and sat on top of the toilet for a moment, trying to make sense of her feelings. There was relief, of course, because this was so not the right time and even though she was in love with him, Bran wasn’t the right man no matter how much she might want him to be. But there was also disappointment. She thought of all the times she’d held Rose, snuggled her close, and how she longed for her own family. Those feelings were there, too. At least the result had clarified much of her thoughts. She and Bran wanted different things. They were just fooling themselves with ground rules and flings and whatever else. He was a good man. They might even be good for each other. But that didn’t mean they had a future.
She was just fixing her coffee when there was a knock on the door and then it opened, as she’d left it unlocked as she usually did during the day. Bran came through the door, a small smile on his face, and a paper bag in his hand. “I went to the bakery,” he said, holding up the bag. “And got chocolate croissants.”
She wasn’t ready for this conversation, so she smiled back and kept it light. “I just made coffee. I’ll get you some.”
“Sounds good. How’ve you been?”
What a loaded question. She hesitated and then said, “All right. Has Cole gone back to New York?”
“He left last night.”
She handed him a mug. “You had a good visit though, huh?”
Bran nodded. “We did. We caught up about a lot of stuff. This island project of his...it’s pretty cool.”
“So he’s going to do it?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Bran’s grin was genuinely wide now. “Who knew? The three of us went to school together, live within an hour or so of each other, and now have second homes here in Nova Scotia. You’d almost think we were brothers.”
