“Yes,” Katherine said. “My name is Katherine Kendall. You can call me Katz.”
“Oh, ha! Ha! What a stupid name,” the student stated, then said sheepishly, “I was just kidding.”
Katherine glared at her and continued, “I’d like to get to know all of you, so let’s spend a few minutes introducing ourselves.”
The overbearing woman said, “My name is Barbie. People call me Barbie! Get it?”
“What do you wish to take from this course?” Katherine asked, as she imagined giving Barbie a smack.
“Oh, a tour of the pink murder house,” Barbie blurted, then instantly countered, “Just kidding.”
With difficulty, Katherine ignored the remark and moved on. “There were numerous applications for this course. We held a lottery and selected the fab four.” Lottery, Katherine thought, with feline assistants. “Let me ask you again, what do you want to learn?”
“Duh, about computers,” Barbie said, rolling her eyes.
Katherine ignored this remark as well and looked at Glen, who moments earlier had scared her half to death. He was in his early twenties and had piercing blue eyes. He sported a shaved head. His hair had to be light, because he had very bushy blond eyebrows. Dressed entirely in black, he had a gleaming gold earring in his ear. He was sitting next to Barbie. Katherine asked, “Glen, why are you taking this course?”
“Oh,” he answered quickly. “I applied so I can try for the manager’s job at the restaurant.”
“What, flipping hamburgers ain’t good enough for you?” Barbie observed under her breath.
The young man threw a dirty look aimed at Barbie and said, “I’d watch it if I were you.”
Katherine realized her first day of class was not going very well. “Glen, for the class, what’s your last name?”
“Frye.”
Barbie said sarcastically, “Fry burger, get it?”
“Enough, Barbie,” Katherine snapped. “Can we dispense with the comments? You’re holding up the class.”
“Yes, Barbie,” Michelle from the library said. Michelle was wearing her signature black turtleneck, black tights, and black ballerina slippers.
“Oh, touchy-touchy,” Barbie commented.
“Michelle, what do you wish to gain from the course?” Katherine asked.
“I think it would help me to do a better job at the library.”
Barbie brought her hand up to her mouth like she was going to say something, but didn’t.
“Good reason,” Katherine said. She directed her attention to a waif of a girl sitting next to Michelle. “I’m Leslie,” the girl spoke in a tiny voice. Her hair was bright red and cut very short in layers. She wore large, rhinestone eyeglasses. “I’d like to learn more about computers so I can get a part-time admin job at the university.”
“Okay,” Katherine said. “These are great reasons. My goal is to get you where you want to be.” She then began teaching about the hardware. “This tower contains the brain of the computer. The computer brain is a microprocessor called the Central Processing Unit, or CPU. It contains millions of transistors that manipulate data.” Katherine continued her explanation, until two tall, svelte Siamese trotted in. Together in one fluid bound, Scout and Abra jumped on Katherine’s desk. “Waugh,” Scout said to Abra’s “raw.”
“Ahhh,” Leslie said, “Wayne told me you had cats. They’re beautiful. What kind are they?”
“Siamese,” Katherine said proudly. She was going to say more, but Barbie cut her off.
“Siamese are mean like those cats in Lady and the Tramp.” Barbie then launched into a terrible rendition of the “We are Siamese” song.
Glen leaned over and muttered, “Only mean to people like you, Barbie.”
Scout and Abra stared at the rude student. Scout’s whip-like tail was thumping angrily on the desk.
Katherine said, “If it’s all right, we’ll let them stay until they get bored. Then they’ll take their leave.”
“Okay by us,” Michelle said. “They’re really cute.”
Barbie asked, “Did they cost a lot? How much money would you make if you sold them?”
Katherine looked aghast and said hastily, “My cats are my family. They’re in their forever home. I would never sell them.”
“Oh, ha! Ha!” Barbie said loudly. “I was just kidding.”
Once the hardware part of the lecture was finished, Katherine moved onto the basics of keyboarding. “In this class, you’ll break the habit of hunting and pecking. I will show you the correct position of your fingers on the keyboard. Take a look at your copy stand. The first diagram illustrates the middle horizontal row of the keyboard that begins with the letter A. This is known as the home row.”
“This is stupid,” Barbie broadcasted. “I don’t need to learn this. I’m fine with my thumbs. Look,” she said, pounding the keyboard with her thumbs.
“I bet you’re good with your thumbs,” Glen said suggestively. “But will you please shut up,” he implored.
“You don’t tell me to shut up, burger slinger,” Barbie said, standing up.
Katherine had grown furious. Grabbing a twenty dollar bill out of her desk drawer, which was the low cost of the course, she briskly walked over to Barbie. “Do you know what a New York minute is?”
“Why should I? I live in Indiana,” Barbie said cynically.
Katherine quickly evaluated the size of this rude woman, who clearly outweighed her by two to one. She wondered which way she should duck if Barbie threw a punch.
“A New York minute is the amount of time it’s going to take you to gather your stuff and get out of my class,” Katherine snapped.
“But I paid. You can’t do that!” Barbie said indignantly.
Katherine slammed the twenty on the workstation. “Yes, I can. Now leave,” she demanded.
“Fine,” Barbie said, yanking her handbag off the floor and heading to the door. “This is a stupid waste of time anyway. And by the way, your short hair looks like crap! Jennifer Lawrence you ain’t.” Barbie slammed the door after her.
“Thank you, Lord,” Glen said, raising his hands in the air.
“I second that,” Michelle said irritably.
“Yay,” Leslie added. “People can be so rude.”
Katherine regained her composure and apologized, “Let’s move on. How many of you already know the basics of keyboarding?”
The three remaining students raised their hands.
“Okay, let’s try an exercise. I want to find out how many words per minute you type. On your copy stand are several paragraphs of text. I want you to type it. I’ll time you. I’ll give you a few seconds to get ready. Once you begin typing I’ll call time in one minute.”
The students put their fingers on their keyboards.
“Ready, get set. Go,” Katherine said, clicking her stopwatch.
* * *
The two hours wore on until it was time to end the class. The students seemed to appreciate what they had learned, and left with a sense of accomplishment.
As Leslie headed to the door, she said, “Wayne and I can’t wait for the party. It sounds like so much fun.”
“You’re welcome,” Katherine said, smiling.
Michelle lingered behind and gave Katherine a serious look, “Hey, watch out for that Barbie woman. Do you know who she is?”
“No, just a loud mouth, ne’er-do-well.”
“She’s the daughter of Sam Sanders. He’s got tons of kids, from several different marriages, mostly sons. Barbie is his only daughter, and she’s spoiled rotten.”
“Got that last part. Who’s Sam Sanders?” Katherine asked.
“He’s the patriarch of one of the biggest crime families in Erie.”
“What?” Katherine asked, disbelieving what she had heard.
“Yep, from meth to massage parlors,” Michelle said, continuing, “I guess since you’re from New York, you know about the mob. Well, Sam Sanders is Erie’s version of John Gotti. So watch your back.”
Michelle giggled, “Barbie runs one of the massage parlors. Actually, it’s a brothel!”
Katherine looked shocked. “Oh, my God!” she said. “Where is it?”
“Oh, a few miles north of here, off the main drag. Barbie’s got a trailer in a run-down trailer court.”
“Run-down? But she was carrying an expensive Coach bag,” Katherine observed.
“Must do well with what she does,” Michelle said with a twinkle in her eye. “Every once in a while the place gets busted. Barbie gets arrested for this, that and the other, but she ‘lawyers up’ and gets out of it on some technicality.”
Changing the subject, Katherine said, “Speaking of ‘lawyering up,’ Mark Dunn told me Beatrice was sentenced last week, but he didn’t elaborate.” Katherine remembered the day at the Ethel cemetery when the former Erie librarian shot Wayne, Jake’s metal-detecting friend.
“She did a plea bargain and got three years with probation. The prosecutor dropped the hit-and-run charge. It seems that Beatrice wasn’t in the car when Carol Lombard was driven off the road. Her husband’s trial is coming up soon. His attorney asked the judge for a change of venue, so the case is being tried in a different county.”
“I know I haven’t been over to the library lately, but did you get promoted to Beatrice’s old job?”
Michelle shook her head sadly. “Nope. The board hired a gal with a degree in Library Science, so that leaves me out.”
“Have you ever thought about going to the university?” Katherine asked.
“Can’t afford it. I’m taking this class so I can get a better-paying job in the city. The plan is to work full-time and go to school part-time. That’s my goal and I aim to achieve it!” Michelle said determinedly.
Maybe I should set up a scholarship foundation when I inherit the estate, Katherine thought. Michelle would be my first candidate.
Michelle gathered up her bag and started to leave. She stopped by the door and said, “Oh, I got your invitation. It was so cute with your cat wearing the purple cape. My cat wouldn’t tolerate clothes,” she laughed.
Katherine beamed, “That was my new Siamese, Abra. She was one of the two that blessed us with a visit earlier. She had the cape on for a split second, because her sister Scout hated it and snatched it off her.”
Michelle became serious. “What do you think of Glen?”
“Why do you ask?” Katherine wondered, getting the part that Michelle was attracted to him.
“I asked him to be my guest at the party. And he said yes,” Michelle said happily. She began singing Daft Punk’s song “Get Lucky.”
Katherine said with a wink, “Let’s not get too lucky, because it’s the first date.”
Still singing, Michelle left, then called through the door, “See you Wednesday for the practice session.”
Katherine sat back in her chair and reflected that her first class was the worst class she’d ever taught. She was curious about the Sanders family and wanted to ask Jake about them later, at lunch. She worried about possible repercussions of throwing Barbie out of her class. She desperately wanted to text her friend in New York, but figured Colleen would be too bummed out about Mario to text back.
As Katherine mounted the stairs to her office, Iris was on the other side of the partially opened door, yowling sweetly. Katherine grabbed her around the middle and gave her a kiss on top of her head. “Where are my other kids?” she called, walking to the atrium, but no other cats were present. “Must be sleeping, right, Miss Siam?” Katherine’s house phone rang and she put Iris down to answer it. It was Jake.
“Hey, are you still coming to my class?” he asked.
“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it.”
“Great! We’re still going to lunch afterwards, right?”
“Definitely. I’ll see you later.” Katherine hung up and immediately went upstairs to freshen up. Today was the part of Jake’s course on Prohibition where he dressed up like John Dillinger, the notorious Indiana gangster. She chuckled to herself, Geez, I hope he doesn’t wear that get-up to lunch!
* * *
Katherine made the trip to the city in record time. She had a lead foot when it came to the accelerator. She finally set the cruise control on the new Subaru, lest she find herself doing eighty in a fifty-five MPH zone. Arriving on campus, she couldn’t find a parking space. She’d never seen so many cars, so much traffic, and so many students walking about, heading for their classes. It seemed the parking spaces required a special permit, and since she didn’t have one, she didn’t relish parking and then having her new car towed. She tried several parking garages, but each one was full. Pulling up along a curbed sidewalk, she lowered her window and asked a university cop what to do. He directed her to the outskirts of the campus to park at the stadium parking lot. It took a full twenty minutes to walk to the lecture hall where Jake was teaching. She followed Jake’s scribbled directions, but got lost several times, and lamented that all the brick buildings looked the same.
It was a typical, breezy fall day, so Katherine’s short-cropped hair was standing up on end. A quick run into the ladies room solved that problem, but by the time she got to the lecture hall, only a few seats were available at the very top, in the nosebleed section. When she walked in, Jake stood in front of the podium, dressed like Johnny Depp in Public Enemies. His haircut even matched Dillinger’s. Katherine gulped, and managed a smile. Jake smiled back and winked. She could feel his eyes watching her as she ascended the steps. She prayed she wouldn’t trip and go flying into a row, but managed to find one of the last seats available.
The class was packed. The students were lively. Katherine could tell everyone thoroughly enjoyed this part of the lecture. A gaggle of admiring female students sat in several front rows, reminding Katherine of a scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark in which Harrison Ford’s character was teaching a class. But none of the girls had flirty messages written on their eyelids.
When the lecture was finished, Katherine patiently waited for the students to leave, then walked down the steps.
“What did you think?” Jake beamed happily.
Katherine had to refrain from running over and giving him a passionate kiss.
“I loved it! Can I take your picture?” she asked, taking her smartphone out of her pocket.
“Of course,” he said, flashing his handsome Cokenberger smile.
“I want to text it to Colleen. I’ll do that at lunch.”
“Are you ready?” he asked, collecting his lecture notes. “I’ve got this great Chinese restaurant in mind. They have an incredible buffet.”
“I’m starving. Is it far from here?” she asked, still exhausted from the sprint from the stadium parking lot.
“Oh, I’m parked outside the building,” he answered. “By the way, you parked in the parking garage, right?”
“No, I couldn’t find a spot.”
“So where did you park?” Jake asked, taking her arm and leading her to the door.
“It’s called the stadium.”
Jake laughed. “The lower forty? Okay, we’ll take the Jeep to the restaurant. Great food, but it isn’t on campus. I’ll drive you to your Sue-bee afterwards.”
They exited the building and Jake directed Katherine to the blue Jeep Wrangler.
“I’ve got a faculty sticker,” he chuckled. “Jump in,” he said, opening the door.
Katherine climbed in and fastened her seat belt. Jake got in behind the steering wheel. He started to put the Jeep in gear, but paused and said, “Hey, I forgot to tell you something.”
“What’s that?”
“You were the most beautiful woman in the entire class,” he said, reaching over and kissing her on the cheek.
“Ahhh,” Katherine gushed.
He put the Jeep in gear and eased out into traffic. “How did your
first class go?”
“It was a disaster!” Katherine answered disappointedly.
“What in the world happened?” he asked, gaining speed and putting the Jeep into second gear.
“I had an incident with one of my students, and I had to evict her from the class.”
“You what?” he asked incredulously. “It’s a community service for crying out loud. Who was it?”
“Barbie —”
“Oh, no,” he interrupted. “Not Barbie Sanders? She’s in your class?”
“Was,” Katherine said. “How do you know her?” she asked with a curious side-glance.
“Well, definitely not in the way you’re suggesting,” he laughed. “Okay, you don’t have to tell me now, but over lunch I want to hear all about it,” he said soothingly. “But first, you never did tell me how you selected five students from all those applications.”
When Katherine told him about Scout and Abra assisting, he couldn’t stop laughing. Finally, he said, “Next time you need a better plan. Who else is in the class?”
“Michelle who works in the library, a guy named Glen Frye, and Wayne’s girlfriend, Leslie.”
“How strange the Siamese picked two people you either know or just met. Glen Frye is a bit of a Casanova. He’s the day chef at the Erie Hotel. I played high school basketball with his older brother. But Barbie Sanders – the massage queen? Oh, no you didn’t.”
“Luck of the draw. Jake, I’m nervous about something.”
“What could that be?” Jake said, pulling into the Chinese restaurant’s crowded parking lot.
“Do you think there’ll be any nasty consequences? Michelle said Barbie’s dad was a crim.”
“I hope not, sweet pea,” he said affectionately. “The Sanders and the Cokenbergers, as the locals say, ain’t friends. But, I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“I notified the fifth candidate – the alternate. I’m teaching the course to her later this afternoon, so she’ll be able to join the rest of the class on Wednesday for the practice session.”
Jake eased into a parking spot close to the restaurant’s entrance.
Katherine remarked, “Incredible! What’s with you and finding the closest parking spaces?”
“Well, I thought you’d want to be closer to great food than if we’d parked at the stadium and taken the bus.” He chuckled again.
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