by Lotta Smith
“Seriously, she can’t hire a llama to carry the rings!” I half shrieked.
“A llama?” Dan’s eyebrows shot up. “As in the camel-like creature without the humps?”
“I’m afraid so.” I nodded. “Oh, don’t forget about the animal’s extra-stinky spit. I read somewhere that the stench of llama’s spit stays for three days at least, and even the most intense washing, showering, or bathing can’t get rid of the foul smell. According to Jackie, Alice is planning to hire a llama as the ring bearer.”
“Look, we’ve got to do something,” Rick said through gritted teeth.
“I guess,” Dan agreed.
“We have to stop her. That woman’s gonna ruin our wedding,” Rick declared.
“That woman?” Dan furrowed his perfectly-shaped eyebrows. “For your information, that woman happens to be your mother.”
“Don’t forget about her being your ex-wife,” Rick retorted.
“Very funny.” Dan let out a dry laugh.
“Apparently, using a llama as the ring bearer isn’t a good idea. First off, Alicia wants Emma to be your ring bearer and Minty to be the flower girl,” Jackie said, dropping the names of my sister and nieces.
“I know,” I agreed.
“What?” Rick and Dan said in unison.
“I was talking to Jackie,” I explained, relaying my conversation with Jackie, my maid of honor, whose presence Alice wasn’t aware of.
“Also, don’t forget about Brian,” Jackie said. “He wants to perform the ceremony.”
“So, of course, we’ve got to ask Brian to preside over the ceremony,” I went on. Brian Powers was our mutual friend and an exorcist. He was present when Rick popped the question. Not to mention, he’d saved my behind so many times. “We can’t exclude him from our wedding, can we?”
“I know,” Rick agreed. “Okay, so we’ve got the priest, a flower girl, and a ring girl. We’re better off secretly doing the ceremony while Alice plans a freak show.”
Dan groaned and massaged his temples.
CHAPTER 2
“Thank you for coming, Ms. Meyer—or should I call you Mrs. Rowling?” Assistant Director in Charge Sheldon Hernandez fumbled with his words.
“Oh… I’m still Ms. Meyer,” I said, a little breathlessly.
Rick and I had a talk about our wedding and discussed having a small, intimate ceremony without Alice meddling with the process, making the whole thing into an excessively lavish spectacle. Still, when I replied to Hernandez, I was bothered by a small voice in my head. Unless Alice keeps complicating the wedding and prevents me from getting married to Rick.
What bothered me more was that even Rick himself seemed to grow skeptical about a small wedding. After coming back to the office, he told me that we should be open to all options, including a huge wedding. The problem was that I couldn’t picture myself in the very center of a huge wedding. Okay, so I didn’t like the huge wedding planned by Alice. Rick suggested we say no to Alice and instead have Dan pay for another big wedding. Then again, I wasn’t sure if it was right for me to have Dan cover the bills for our big wedding after he’d just paid off my student loan. Besides that, I wanted to get married as stealthily as possible. I’d had my share of unwanted attention when I got kicked out of med school with the unfortunate nickname ‘the Grim Reaper.’
“That’s great. Excellent.” Hernandez nodded. “Congratulations on your engagement.”
“Thank you, sir.” I displayed a smile that I hoped wasn’t awkward.
Four hours after leaving Nobu, I was at Hernandez’s office on the 23rd floor of 26 Federal Plaza.
Hernandez was the head of the FBI’s New York City field office. For him, Rick Rowling had been a thorn in his side for a long, long time—mostly because of Rick’s loose cannon personality and his reckless investigation style that bordered on violent. Indeed, one of the reasons Hernandez decided to hire me—a fresh medical school dropout with zero experience in law enforcement—was because he kind of hoped Rick might drop dead after touching me, the girl with a truly unfortunate moniker: Grim Reaper. Except, unlike some people who’d previously committed serial crimes like murders but managed to slip out of the judiciary system, Rick didn’t drop dead by touching me.
Anyway, when I came into his office, I was expecting to receive a pink slip. After all, Rick, my boss and only colleague in the Paranormal Cases Division, was leaving the feds in order to join his family business, and considering I was hired to somewhat babysit him, it was obvious that the bureau didn’t need me anymore. I was planning to submit my resignation letter at the same time as Rick, but he told me to wait till Hernandez contacted me. According to him, I was likely to earn more by waiting for the bureau to give me the pink slip rather than voluntarily quitting.
I was ready to face the news from Hernandez that the bureau didn’t need me anymore and get to the process of claiming my severance pay and so on, but I wasn’t prepared for his next words.
“So, Ms. Meyer, I have a quick question. Are you interested in continuing to work with us after your husband-to-be has left the feds?”
“Excuse me?” My jaw dropped.
“You don’t need to sound so shocked.” Hernandez chuckled. “You’ve been a great asset to us, and many agents from various departments have expressed their wishes to continue working with you.”
I opened my mouth. “But… is it possible for the Paranormal Cases Division to exist as a one-person operation without an agent?”
Hernandez furrowed his bushy eyebrows. “Actually, I was meaning to offer you a contractor position, meaning you’d get calls when someone at the bureau needs your expertise.”
“Oh… I see. So, it’s not like I’d have to come to the office on a daily basis.”
“Right. I’m assuming you’ll be extremely busy with the wedding and everything anyway,” Hernandez went on, pulling a piece of paper out of a thick file on his desk. “Here’s a brief summary of the proposed contract.”
I glanced at it and my eyes almost popped out of my head, as if I was in a cartoon instead of my life. The contract fees offered were so much higher than the salary I’d been paid for the past few years.
Blinking, I scanned the proposed contract over and over. “Excuse me, but the compensation offered here is for—”
“That’s the price per case. So, Ms. Meyer, you can take your time reviewing the contract. I’d appreciate it if you’d get back to me in, say, a week?”
“I will.” I nodded like a bobblehead. “I will, sir.”
“Excellent. Now you can return to your office. There’s a new case awaiting you,” he said, and actually smiled. It was a shocking sight. I’d rarely seen him smile. “By the way, Ms. Meyer, my wife’s been fussing about what to wear on your big day since the news about your nuptial came out. I’ve been telling her that she’s not the one who’s getting married, but she never listens to me. Anyway, Alice is such a lovely lady, isn’t she? She called me and shared her exciting plans about you and her son’s big day. If you’re planning to invite my ex-wife to the wedding, don’t bother about the seating arrangements, okay? Both of us have remarried with no hard feelings. We’ve actually been discussing how nice it would be for us two couples to sit at the same table and—”
Hernandez was smiling, and he seemed to go on and on, so I cut him off. “Okay, sir. Thank you so much for your kind words. I’ll review the contract and be in touch with you shortly.” I forced a smile and stood up to leave. I couldn’t tell him that my soon-to-be mother-in-law was turning my wedding into a freak show with a tattoo exchange and a llama ring bearer.
As I tried my best not to think about the wedding, he said, “By the way, your wedding’s been a big topic among the city’s law enforcement. Everyone’s looking forward to your big day. So, where are you planning to use as the wedding venue?”
* * *
When I came back to the office, Rick was studying a case file. “Hey.” He raised his hand and looked up at me.
“Hey,�
�� I muttered, slouching onto my desk chair.
“What’s with the lip biting? What did he say?” Rick frowned. “You’re not going to miss working for the FBI, are you?”
“No,” I said. “Am I biting my lip?”
“Yes.” He cocked his head to the side.
I took a deep breath. “Hernandez says he and his wife are so very looking forward to our wedding. His wife is totally fussing about what to wear for the big day. Also, his ex-wife, Captain DeLaurentis, is expecting to attend our wedding, and according to Hernandez, practically every law enforcement officer in New York is looking forward to attending our wedding—and I don’t know what to do. Alice has been spreading the news faster than any media outlet.”
Rick groaned. “Hell.”
“He even wanted to know where our wedding venue would be. Perhaps I should have told him that we’ll be having a small, intimate wedding.” As I went on, my hands were shaking. “Will they be disappointed if we elope at city hall or go to Las Vegas?”
“Eloping is tempting, but obviously that’s not a great move, especially since we’ll continue our business in New York.” Rick stood up and came by my side.
“But I won’t be—” I opened my mouth to protest, but he didn’t let me finish the sentence as he held me tightly in his strong arms.
“Don’t worry, Mandy. We won’t be exchanging tattoos, and we won’t have a llama or other nonhuman beings.”
Listening to his deep, confident voice whispering into my ear, I felt my tense nerves easing, but then I caught Jackie clearing her throat disapprovingly in my other ear.
“Excuse me? Mandy, you’ve got to ask Rick if he’s excluding your maid of honor altogether from the wedding.”
“I will,” I mumbled.
“What?” Rick loosened his embrace around me.
“Jackie isn’t happy about your comment about having no nonhuman beings at the wedding,” I pointed out, his arms still wrapped around my shoulders.
“Oops. I didn’t mean to exclude her. Sorry, Jackie. My bad.” Rick pulled himself away from me and said, “After all, we need the maid of honor, right?”
Watching him apologize to the air, I knew I really loved this man. He’d never expressed doubts about Jackie’s existence or my ability to talk to dead people.
“Apology accepted,” Jackie said solemnly, but she was grinning from ear to ear. “I’m glad that you regard me as the official maid of honor.”
“Good.” He nodded when I relayed her words to Rick. “So, our wedding will be slightly bigger than we’d previously anticipated, but we’ll manage. We can hire a real wedding planner, and I mean someone professional. What do you say?”
“Sounds good. But what about Alice?” I asked.
“She can be in charge of… something, I guess. I’ll think about it later.” He shrugged. Then he glanced at the paperwork in my hand. “What’s that?”
“Oh, this?” I handed it to him. “Actually, Hernandez said he wants to hire me as a contractor and this is a rough draft of the contract.”
Rick glanced at the draft for a couple of seconds, and he clicked the tongue. “That sneaky bastard. He’s trying to make an exclusivity contract with you behind my back. And what does he think of you? A minimum-wage worker?”
“Minimum-wage worker? Excuse me?” My eyes widened. “The offered compensation per case happens to be a little higher than my salary.”
“What?” He raised an eyebrow. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
“No, I’m not kidding,” I said, and I couldn’t help feeling a little defiant. When the FBI offered me the initial salary, I thought they had practically saved my behind from a sea of debt. Back then, I had been unexpectedly kicked out of med school with no degree and a ton of student loans, and the offered salary as an FBI special assistant was slightly higher than that of a first-year resident’s, so I took it without much of a negotiation. Besides, I thought the offer was nice, assuming that I’d be able to solve some cases in a day or two. “I thought you knew the exact amount of my salary. Most bosses know that kind of thing, don’t they?”
“I’m not an average boss,” he replied casually. He went back to his desk and came back to my side with a file. After flipping through the pages, he said, “Okay, so you’re not kidding about your pay. Why didn’t you negotiate on your salary? Hernandez summons you as often as he takes Pepto-Bismol, so you’ve had many opportunities to negotiate.”
“I did.” I pouted. “After our first case, Hernandez said that I saved the feds three million dollars in prize money since that guy on the Most Wanted list was found when we burned down the high-rise condo. So, I asked him for 10 percent of the three million, but he burst out laughing like I’d cracked the funniest joke ever. I saw the veins bulging in his temple. Also, he reminded me that I was responsible for the demolition of the building.”
“And you just gave in?” Rick arched his eyebrows. “Come on, you should have fought back.”
“I guess,” I muttered bitterly. “But at that moment, I was afraid of losing my job, so I clammed up. By the way, you weren’t paying much attention to my salary apparently. If you’re really serious about taking over USCAB in the not-so-distant future, I suggest you be more mindful about your people. Manpower is what keeps your company running smoothly.”
“Point taken.” Rick flinched. “Anyway, don’t sign this contract with the feds.”
“I’ll ask Hernandez to triple the compensation, and then I’ll consider whether to sign it or not.”
“No. You’re not making this deal with the feds,” he said matter-of-factly. “When I join USCAB, I’ll have less time to work on cases, meaning I might not be able to keep an eye on you to keep you out of trouble or danger. So, what do you say about you focusing on being Mrs. Rowling?” He cupped my face with both hands.
“What?” I gasped. Many thoughts crossed my mind. A part of me liked that he seemed to care for my well-being, but a different part of me didn’t like the idea of turning myself into Mrs. Rowling and nothing more.
Still, I loved the sound of Mrs. Rowling. Then again, the tone of his voice was—what was that… playful? “Are you serious?”
“No.” He chuckled. “Actually, I’m launching a section at USCAB handling cases like you and I’ve been doing, and you’ll be a very important part of this project. Besides, I have no intention of limiting our clients to the FBI. So, you’re way better off working as a part of USCAB’s team, as I’ll provide all the necessary help you might need—such as muscles to handle the situations that get rough, and Brian.”
“I get your point. So, how much are you offering me per case?” I asked.
“Hmm… I didn’t see that coming.” He crossed his arms. “Two times what’s offered by the feds.”
“Ask for more, Mandy,” Jackie cheered me. “A girl’s got to have her own source of income.”
“I’d like five times what you just offered. Then I’ll consider joining your team,” I said.
“What? That’s a lot to ask for.”
“You’re the one who educated me about negotiation.”
“Wow, I’m impressed with your learning curve. By the way, we’ve got a new case,” Rick said abruptly, completely changing the subject.
“Come on, we’re not finished with my compensation topic.”
Before he could respond, someone knocked on the door.
“Oh, that should be Agent Woo from the White-Collar Crime Unit.” Rick looked at the door with a stilted enthusiasm. “Mandy, I’d appreciate it if you’d get the door.”
I made a mental note to keep negotiating my wages and went to the door.
“Hi! Long time no see.” Agent Drake Woo was all smiles when I opened the door to greet him.
“Agent Woo. How have you been?” I said.
“I’m good, thanks. By the way, should I call you Ms. Meyer or Mrs. Rowling?”
“Technically, I’m still Ms. Meyer, but you can simplify it by calling me Mandy.” I chuckled.
�
��Okay, Mandy. So, everyone’s talking about your wedding. It’s going to be bigger than a typical Kardashian wedding, right?” he said playfully.
“Hmm… it looks like the entire world’s expecting a really huge wedding for you and Rick,” Jackie commented, popping up from out of nowhere. “Are you sure you really want to go on with a small wedding, excluding all these people who genuinely want to see you get married?”
“Et tu, Jackie?” I said through gritted teeth.
“Oh, hi, Jackie.” Agent Woo raised a hand and attempted to greet the ghost of a drag queen who’d appointed herself as my guardian.
“Hi, Agent Woo!” Jackie approached the agent who was looking in the opposite direction of where Jackie was. “No worries, you’ll be invited to Mandy and Rick’s wedding. I’ll persuade her to include you in the guest list. By the way, I’m the maid of honor!”
Listening to Jackie chattering, I felt like shrieking and running away, but before I could do that, Rick chimed in. “Actually, very little detail about the occasion has been settled. Mandy here is basically going crazy about the whole process. So, Agent Woo, I suggest you not make her mad. Mandy, can we have some coffee?”
Rick’s tone was so laidback and nonchalant—playful, even—that I was annoyed. Okay, it wasn’t logical of me to be miffed by just the tone of his voice, but I couldn’t help it. Seriously, this wedding fiasco, which hadn’t even started yet, was wasting me. I was turning into a bridezilla, except I was being more unsure than demanding.
CHAPTER 3
“It’s about this ring.” Agent Woo took a ring in a Ziploc bag out of his briefcase and put it in the center of the coffee table where the three of us sat. “I’m hoping to utilize your expertise, Mandy.”
“Hmm… it’s a sapphire ring, isn’t it? And it looks old,” I said, trying to assemble all of my knowledge of jewelry. I stared at the dark gold ring with an oval-shaped blue stone. Its design looked like something from an antique jewelry museum. The stone was large, about the same size as a small grape, but it had inclusions visible to the naked eye, so I wasn’t sure about its value.
