What if Matt thinks I’m a traitor? I didn’t do it, at least not the worst part.
Fen wasn’t sure what Laurie would do. She’d been the most important person in his life for as long as he could remember, his partner in trouble, but it wasn’t just the two of them anymore. She trusted Matt now. Fen paced across the porch and back into the yard, thinking about the situation. Baldwin was cool. He’d be decent no matter what. The twins were unpredictable; they were growing on him, but they were still pretty apart from the group. Astrid gave him a bad feeling; he didn’t care what she thought of him, but the others seemed to like her. If the Raiders said something that Matt believed, if the others listened to the Raiders, things could easily turn against him, and although he wasn’t going to admit it aloud, he didn’t want to be kicked out. He needed to talk to Laurie and Matt.
He had his hand out to grab the doorknob to go into the house when the door opened. Laurie stood there, scowling, and the trickle of fear exploded. “What?”
“I’m tired of this,” she started. She closed the door behind her and walked over to Fen.
“Of what?”
“You acting like I’m unable to take care of myself at all!” she exclaimed. “You can’t keep doing that.”
Every worry about being asked to leave intensified. If he left, he was taking Laurie with him. There was no way he could leave her here without him. Uncle Stig, Kris, the whole family really, they’d all hate him if Laurie got hurt—or worse.
“Yeah? Well you could’ve been hurt,” Fen growled.
Laurie poked him in the chest. “So could you, or Matt, or Baldwin—”
“Actually, I couldn’t,” Baldwin interrupted.
Fen looked around in confusion.
“Up here,” Baldwin said. He was leaning out of an upstairs window, staring down at them. “Matt could’ve been hurt, and both of you. The wolves really seemed to hate you, Fen. They said you were on their side and you gave them the shield.”
Fen and Laurie turned to stare at Baldwin at the same time.
“If we have time, like later or something, could you open a door so I can see some mistletoe?” Baldwin asked.
Without looking at his cousin, Fen knew she had the exact same incredulous expression on her face.
“No,” Fen said levelly.
Baldwin held up both hands in a placating gesture. “Just a thought!”
“A dumb one,” Fen snapped, but then felt instantly guilty when Baldwin looked crushed. Of all the descendants, Baldwin was the only one who didn’t actually irritate him. It was some strange result of who he was—everyone liked Balder in the myths—but knowing that there was probably weird god stuff in the mix didn’t make it less real.
“I’m going to order pizzas,” Baldwin blurted. “That’s what I came to ask. Do you want anything special?”
“Whatever you want,” Fen said, as nicely as he could. He felt embarrassed because Laurie was watching, but it wasn’t Baldwin’s fault he was weird any more than it was Laurie’s fault she opened doors or Fen’s fault he turned into a wolf. Fen glanced up at Baldwin. “I’m sorry.”
Baldwin grinned. “It’s fine.” And then he wandered off, calling out questions about pepperoni and olives.
Once he was gone, Fen and Laurie were left alone on the porch. It was hard being around Laurie now that she knew his secrets, hard being around all these people, and hard trying to be himself without upsetting any of them. He braced himself for her to yell at him about the Raiders.
But instead of jumping on the things Baldwin had just said, Laurie continued on with the rant she’d started when she’d come outside: “You need to trust me, Fen. I don’t want to die, and I don’t want any of you to, either, but if we don’t stop Ragnarök, we all will. So, if we are going to stop this, we all have to do the things we can do. I’m part of this, and you need to deal with it.”
“I just want to keep you safe. Thorsen does, too,” Fen muttered.
“Matt’s coming around. Maybe you could try to do the same thing,” she suggested.
Fen grunted. “Maybe you could stay where it’s safe. I’m the descendant who has to fight, not you.”
She stood up and glared down at him. “Fine! You fight, but don’t you even try to act like I’m not helping, too. I opened that door that got us the shield that you gave the Raiders.”
Fen glared right back. She had heard what Baldwin had said; he’d thought for a moment that she’d missed it. He shook his head. “Your skill is to open doors, to escape. How are you going to protect yourself from the monsters that keep coming?”
She blinked away the tears he could see forming in her eyes. “We’re a team. We rescue each other and fight together. That’s what teams do. That’s how we’ll stop Ragnarök. You’re a wolf. Think of it like a pack.”
Thinking about packs was the problem. For most of his life, the most important person in his life was Laurie; he’d always figured they’d be a pack of two once she transformed—or that he’d hide what he was to keep her safe if she didn’t become a wolf. He might not have parents, but he did have a sorta sister in her. If he was going to be a good packmate, a good almost-brother, he’d have to keep her safe, so if she wasn’t going to let him protect her, maybe it was best to go home, leave the world-saving to Thorsen. “Well, maybe I don’t want to be part of this pack! Maybe we ought to both go home, where it’s safe.”
“You’re such an idiot! There is no safe anymore. The world is ending.” She went inside, slamming the door and leaving him outside. He was alone, and he told himself that it was what he wanted, that he didn’t want to be part of any team—except that the moment she left, he had to admit to himself that it wasn’t what he really wanted at all. He just didn’t want Laurie to get hurt—or to find out what he’d done and hate him.
Fen rubbed his hand over his face. He was sore, bruised, tired, and, if he was totally honest, he was scared. It was one thing to deal with the Raiders, but it was another to think that if he failed—if any of them failed—the world would end. That was a lot worse than getting smacked around a little. At first, he’d thought Skull and Hattie were crazy, talking about the end of the world, but now that he was in the middle of a fight against them to stop the end of the world, it felt so… big. What if Matt asked him to leave? What if he didn’t, but they failed? What if the serpent killed Matt? What if they went up against trolls or mara or who knew what else and Laurie got hurt? What if Baldwin died, like in the myths? What if he or Laurie somehow turned evil or whatever because they were Loki’s descendants? How do you even know if you’re turning evil? He closed his eyes and tried not to think about any of the questions he couldn’t answer, especially the last one. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there before the door opened. He expected it to be Laurie or Baldwin, but when he turned his head to look, he saw Matt.
“Did you think I wouldn’t find out you stole the shield?” Matt asked. “You could have told me. Then you could have come into the camp with me.”
“I was in the camp. I saved your butt, Thorsen. Again. I’m not sure what you mean, but—”
“Don’t,” Matt interrupted. “I get it now. You offered to get the shield back alone. Then you didn’t want to come into camp. You didn’t want me to know you were involved with the Raiders.”
“Wolves pay dues,” Fen said. “That was mine and Laurie’s. I didn’t know the shield mattered, just that I needed to get it.”
“And the part about delivering me?” Matt asked.
Fen froze. He’d known it was a bad idea to go after the shield, but he hadn’t thought Skull would actually tell Matt. What? Did he stop midfight for a heart-to-heart? Fen growled low in his throat. “I didn’t, though! I fought at your side against Raiders. I tramped all over with you and fought monsters at your side. I mighta agreed to deliver you, but I didn’t do it.”
They faced off. Fen’s heart was racing like they were fighting, even though all they were doing was staring at each other.
Finally,
Matt rolled his shoulders and nodded. “Okay. I believe you. But no more secrets. We’ve gotta be a team now, trust each other, watch each other’s backs so no one gets hurt.”
Fen wanted to say something smart, to pretend he hadn’t been wrong, but he couldn’t. He would feel horrible if someone got hurt because of him, and he did want to save the world. He lifted a shoulder in a small shrug, but he stayed silent.
“At Ragnarök, Loki was Thor’s enemy,” Matt said. “But in other stories, they were friends. They traveled together. They fought side by side. We need to be that version. Friends.”
And Fen didn’t know what to say, so he settled on, “Whatever.”
Matt turned and left, and Fen half expected Ray, Reyna, and Astrid to all come out to lecture him about something else. It felt like everyone wanted to tell him what he had done wrong or, worse yet, what he would do wrong.
Twenty minutes later, when the pizza arrived and Baldwin came out to pay for it, Fen took one of the two boxes and followed Baldwin into the kitchen. Astrid was already in there.
“I got everything out,” she said. She pointed at the counter where plates, napkins, glasses, salt, pepper, Parmesan cheese, and red-pepper flakes were all lined up neatly.
“Thank you,” Baldwin said.
Astrid beamed at him. “You did everything. This part was easy.”
“Suck-up,” Fen muttered.
Instead of snapping back at him, Astrid turned her supercharged smile at him. “Oh, and thank you, too, Fen, for being you!”
He snapped his teeth at her, and she left the kitchen.
After Astrid had left, Fen said, “I don’t trust her.”
“You don’t trust anyone,” Baldwin said.
“Not true.” Fen picked up a slice of pizza and took a bite. “I trust Laurie, Thorsen… and you.”
Baldwin shrugged. “Sure, but everyone trusts me. It’s like the not-getting-hurt thing. I don’t think I count. Matt’s our leader. You might not like Astrid, but she was right about that. He’s the one who’s going to lead us into the big battle, right? You kind of have to trust him, or you wouldn’t be here.”
Fen knew Baldwin was right, but he still didn’t like Astrid or the twins. Maybe wolves don’t like witches? He chomped the pizza while he thought about it. He’d ask Matt about that later. Right now, he just wanted some downtime. Baldwin was cool about the talking thing, too. He wasn’t pushy, like Laurie and Matt were.
“Food?” Reyna—or maybe Ray—said as the twins came in. They were more of a single entity than made sense to Fen.
Everyone else followed. Laurie, Matt, and Astrid were laughing at something, and Baldwin stood there grinning in that way of his that made Fen want to get along with the witch kids. Maybe he was just being difficult.
“Do you want to pick a movie with me?” Baldwin gestured toward the door with a slice of pizza.
Fen nodded and grabbed another slice.
They abandoned the kitchen to the others and headed to the living room to figure out what to watch. They had a better chance of avoiding some girly nonsense if they picked it while all three girls were in the kitchen. It was nice to have someone on his side, too. Laurie seemed so mad at him, and Matt wasn’t exactly mad, but Fen thought that was only because he’d decided not to be. He’d looked pretty hurt over the whole Raiders thing.
I’d like to pound Skull.
“Fen?”
He looked at Baldwin, who was pulling movies out of a cabinet.
“You’re growling again,” Baldwin said. “It’s a little weird.” Then he held up both hands so Fen could see the options. Star Wars was in one hand; in the other was a movie with an explosion on the cover and another with a cowboy on it. “Space or Earth? Monsters or humans?”
“Any of them. Just nothing about dances or anything”—Fen made air quotes with his fingers—“heartwarming.”
They got the movie set up just as everyone was coming into the living room. Astrid flopped down on the floor. Ray and Reyna were on the sofa with Laurie. That left two chairs. Matt, being Matt, offered one to Astrid—who laughed and told him, “You take it. I’m happier on the floor.”
Fen opened his mouth to make a remark, but Baldwin spoke hurriedly, “Come on. They didn’t bring out the red-pepper flakes or cheese.”
After they both snatched pieces out of one of the boxes, Fen offered, “I can grab it.”
“Okay,” Baldwin agreed—but he still headed to the kitchen.
They found the jar of red-pepper flakes sitting on the counter right where it had been.
“I love this stuff,” Fen said.
“Me, too! Mom doesn’t, but I go through jars of it.” Baldwin held out his slice of pizza, and Fen shook pepper flakes onto it.
As they walked back into the living room, Baldwin took a bite of pizza and immediately started coughing.
“Baldwin, are you okay?” Matt asked.
Baldwin clutched at his throat.
Laurie grabbed her water and held it out. “Here, wash it down.”
But Baldwin lunged toward Fen, grasping his arm so hard that he all but knocked Fen to the ground.
“Maybe he swallowed wrong.” Fen pounded Baldwin’s back.
Fen took Laurie’s glass of water and tried to help Baldwin drink.
That wasn’t helping either, so Fen switched to trying to do that Heimlich maneuver they talked about in health class. Matt understood and pushed everyone else back. As Baldwin flailed his arms around, the glass of water fell and shattered on the floor. Baldwin was clawing at his throat with one hand and grabbing Fen with the other.
And then he… stopped.
He stopped grabbing Fen, stopped moving, and stopped breathing. He just stopped.
Fen felt Baldwin’s body droop and lowered him to the floor. He tried to feel for a pulse and didn’t find it. Frantically, he pounded on Baldwin’s chest like he’d seen in TV shows. In movies, that worked. People pushed on the chest and what…? Fen thought for a moment. They blew air in the person’s mouth. Fen put his hands into a fist and pushed hard in the middle of Baldwin’s chest. Nothing happened.
While he was doing that, Matt reached out and felt for a pulse.
As Fen leaned over to blow air into Baldwin’s mouth, Matt caught hold of Fen’s shoulder. “He’s dead.”
“No, no, no! He can’t die. He can’t even feel pain. No,” Fen said.
Matt met Fen’s eyes, and then he shook his head. “Fen…”
“No,” Fen snarled. “He’s fine. You, witches, do something.”
Reyna said, “Magic can’t change death.”
Astrid started sobbing. She collapsed on top of Matt, who put his arm around her to steady her.
“It’s like the myth! Balder is dead!” Astrid pointed a finger at Fen. “What did you do?”
As Fen kneeled there beside Baldwin’s motionless body, no one spoke up to say Astrid was wrong, that it wasn’t Fen’s fault. Matt held Astrid, who was sobbing. Reyna and Ray looked at Fen with wide-eyed shock. Laurie stood motionless. She didn’t say anything, didn’t do anything. She only stared at Baldwin.
“Help me,” Fen said.
It was Ray who came over and helped lift Baldwin.
Silently, Fen and Ray carried Baldwin up to his bedroom.
“I’ve got him. Pull back the covers.” Fen shifted so he held the whole weight of Baldwin’s body.
Once Ray did so, Fen lowered Baldwin to the mattress. Without looking back at Ray, he said, “Get out.”
“It’s not your fault. You tried to save him,” Ray said quietly.
“Get out now,” Fen growled.
And then he sat on the floor beside Baldwin. “I don’t understand.” Tears started falling. “Stupid freaking myths. How could you choke to death?” Fen arranged Baldwin’s body so it looked like he was sleeping, and then he pulled the sheet up over his face.
The myth had come true: Baldwin had died… which meant that it was somehow because of Loki’s actions, because of his actions.<
br />
TWENTY-FOUR
MATT
“GRIEF-STRICKEN”
Matt wandered through the house, unable to stop moving, not going anywhere, not looking for anyone, just moving.
Baldwin was dead.
Dead. Really dead. Not sleeping upstairs in his bed. Not knocked unconscious. He was dead.
Just like in the myth.
This was Matt’s fault. He’d known the myth, and still he’d brought Baldwin into it. He’d told himself that it wouldn’t turn out like that. It couldn’t. That’s what they were here for—stopping the old stories from coming true.
In the myth, Loki was responsible for Balder’s death. He hadn’t killed the god himself, but he’d set it up. Matt had been sure that wasn’t what happened here. Fen liked Baldwin. Really, honestly liked him, in a way Fen didn’t like anyone except his cousin.
Even if it had been someone Fen didn’t like—Astrid maybe—Matt would never think Fen might have killed her. The thought wouldn’t cross his mind.
No one had killed Baldwin. It had to be an accident. But how could it be an accident? The only thing that could hurt Baldwin was mistletoe. There was no way that the pizza just happened to have mistletoe on it.
So if it wasn’t an accident…
Someone had put mistletoe on the pizza. Shaved the wood to look like a spice and served it to Baldwin.
Wait—Baldwin had gone in to the kitchen for red-pepper flakes. The shavings could have been in them. But who’d put out the pepper flakes? Fen and Baldwin were the ones who’d set up—
No, Astrid had begun setting the table. Then she left, and when she left, the pepper flakes were out.
Matt shook his head. That was crazy. He wouldn’t believe it. Couldn’t.
Whatever the situation, he needed to talk to Astrid. He couldn’t go around making accusations like that. No matter what you thought of a person, you didn’t accuse them of murder.
Matt stopped wandering aimlessly and set out with a purpose now. Find Astrid. He went through all the upstairs bedrooms first, even Baldwin’s, though he only glanced in fast, trying not to look at the body on the bed.
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