Adam. Ben crossed his arms again.
“I’ll be right back.” Emmy stepped out of the front room and into the kitchen, closing the door behind her.
Ben leaned back in his chair, watching Adam closely.
Adam looked back at Ben. There was no animosity or threat in his gaze. The man appeared to be decent—though maybe a bit naive and impulsive. If Emmy were to marry, he supposed this man wouldn’t be a horrible choice, although no one was worthy enough in Ben’s estimation.
Ben was usually a patient man, but for some reason all rationality left him at the thought of this man coming to pay her a romantic call. “What are your intentions toward Miss Wilkes?”
The other man looked at Ben as if he’d lost his mind. “I don’t believe that’s any of your business, Reverend Lahaye.”
“Maybe it’s not,” he conceded, “but maybe it is. Miss Wilkes is under the protection of my home for the time being and I have an interest in her affairs.”
Adam looked toward the kitchen door, which was still closed, and then he leaned forward. “I suppose, as her pastor and a member of the school board, you might be concerned.”
As her pastor and one of her bosses? Ben hadn’t even been thinking along those lines.
“I assure you I’m an honorable man,” Adam said. “I work hard, I make a good income and I try to live my life according to the Biblical principles Jesus taught.” He nodded with a bit of satisfaction. “If that’s not enough, I don’t know what is.”
Ben’s mood continued to sour with each passing moment. He couldn’t think of one good reason this man wasn’t right for Emmy, except that he didn’t like the idea of it.
“Here we are.” Emmy opened the door and entered with a tray filled with a coffeepot, mugs and Mrs. Carver’s sugar cookies.
Adam scrambled to get out of his chair and reached over to take the tray for her.
Ben realized that he would be too late to help her with the refreshments, so he quickly stood and repositioned her chair to be in front of the table for her to serve.
“Thank you,” she said to both men as she took a seat.
“It’s my pleasure,” Adam said with a grin. “Anything I can do to make your work a little easier.” He moved his chair to be closer to Emmy and gave Ben a friendly nod.
Ben didn’t have it in him to return the gesture, so he took a seat, his irritation mounting.
Emmy glanced at Ben with a concerned look, but she didn’t say anything.
It would be a long and tedious morning entertaining the banker, and if the snowstorm became worse, they might have to invite him to stay even longer. A thought that made Ben want to growl.
* * *
Emmy hadn’t known Ben for long, but she sensed he was out of sorts the whole day. Mrs. Carver had sent him a few puzzled looks that suggested she was surprised at his mood, as well.
The long day had finally come to an end and the storm had let up enough for Mr. Russell to make his way home, though he had stayed on through lunch and supper, only leaving when Ben had gone to the hook near the door and brought Adam’s outdoor clothing for him. Mr. Russell had wanted to discuss something in private with Emmy, but Ben practically pushed him out the door.
Throughout the day, they had played parlor games with the boys and even made popcorn like Zeb had requested, but there had been an underlying tension that had made everyone a bit uncomfortable.
Mrs. Carver had brought the boys up to bed and Emmy had stayed in the kitchen to put away the popcorn kettle and bank the stove for the night. A single candle gave her enough light to see in the dark room, and heat from the stove offered a bit of warmth, though the wind continued to howl around the eaves.
The house was quiet and Emmy suspected that Ben had also gone to bed. She placed the popcorn kettle on the top shelf with the others and then bent to open the stove door.
Ben’s mood left her confused and troubled, though she didn’t know why. It was almost as if Ben had been jealous of Adam—but that would be preposterous. Ben had been nothing but a gentleman from the moment they met and had never intimated that his feelings were more than platonic. And though she suspected Adam’s feelings ran a bit deeper than friendship, he had also been a gentleman and had not made any advances. She enjoyed the company of both men and had not shown favoritism to one or the other—so why would Ben be jealous, if that’s what his mood had been?
A floorboard creaked and Emmy turned to find Ben entering the kitchen.
Her stomach filled with butterflies and her cheeks warmed at his sudden appearance, thankful, once again, that he couldn’t read her thoughts. Surely she was making more out of this than she needed to. Some people had bad days, didn’t they?
It would be best if she forgot the whole thing and focused on guarding her heart. All she needed to do was remember the torment and agony of losing William five years ago and all romantic notions fled from her mind.
Ben paused at the sight of her and then walked to the cupboard and took out a glass. “I didn’t realize you were still awake.” His usual warmth toward her had cooled and she found she didn’t like it.
“I told Mrs. Carver I’d tidy the kitchen before going up.”
He poured water out of the pitcher and into his glass, not looking at her. “You might want to take my buffalo robe and put it over the boys tonight. It will probably get much colder before morning.”
She finished banking the fire and closed the door. “I’ll do that right away.” She straightened and wiped her hands on her apron, nibbling her bottom lip. There was nothing worse than discord, and that’s what she felt between them. “Ben—” She paused, unsure of how to set things right again.
He finally turned to look at her. The flame from the candle threw shadows over the striking planes of his face, making her pulse tick a little faster. The look in his eyes was hard to read, but she sensed, again, that something was wrong.
They didn’t speak for a moment and the nerves continued to bubble up within her. She needed to ask him what was wrong, but she feared hearing the truth. If he did have feelings for her, she didn’t want to know. She loved living with him and Mrs. Carver and the boys, and she hated to think of leaving them. But she couldn’t stay if he had romantic ideas. She’d promised herself she would never fall in love again, and what’s more, it wouldn’t be right to be in the same house with a man who was attracted to her.
“Is something wrong, Emmy?” He took a step toward her, concern now clouding his eyes.
“I—I was going to ask you the same question.”
He paused and looked down at the water he’d yet to drink. For a moment, he didn’t say anything, and when he looked up she saw the old Ben reappear. “Nothing is wrong.”
She wanted to believe him. “Then why the sullen mood today?”
He looked down at his glass again and finally set it on the table. “I’m sorry I’ve been out of sorts. There’s no excuse for it.”
“Maybe not, but is there a reason?” The question came of its own accord, as if her heart longed to hear that his feelings did run deeper, while her mind begged her to walk away—nay, run—before he answered.
He studied her for a moment, as if he, too, wanted something he knew he shouldn’t want, but then he shook his head and started toward the door. “Good night, Emmy. I’ll leave the robe on the hook by the door.”
Without another word, he left his glass of water on the table and disappeared into the other room.
Emmy’s legs were weak and she took a seat, not sure if she’d have the strength to stand much longer.
Ben’s actions were so out of character she didn’t know what to think or believe. But his feelings were not what concerned her the most; her feelings scared her even more.
Chapter Ten
The next morning, Ben stood at the front of
the church smiling at the few families who had braved the snow to attend. Overnight, the storm had lessened in severity and when he woke, there were only a few flurries, but it would still be difficult for those who lived out of town to get in for the service.
Emmy, Mrs. Carver and the twins sat in the front row. Mrs. Carver had made sure the boys had scrubbed their faces until they shone, and Emmy had combed their hair. Mrs. Carver planned to get fabric for them on Monday and start sewing more outfits for school, church and play. Levi squirmed in his seat and Emmy reached over and gently put her hand on his knee to still him.
“‘This is the day which the Lord hath made,’” Ben said to the congregation, quoting Psalm 118:24. “‘We will rejoice and be glad in it.’”
His gaze went to Emmy and he found her studying him closely. When their eyes met, she looked down at the Bible lying in her lap. Ben wished things hadn’t become so awkward last evening.
Adam Russell sat directly behind Emmy. He had come in early and monopolized her time while Ben had been busy welcoming his parishioners. Ben supposed that Adam had taken the opportunity to ask if he could call again, but there was no way of knowing unless he asked Emmy, which he couldn’t do without making her suspicious of his own feelings.
He directed his thoughts back to his sermon, frustrated that he would let his mind wander while he was in the pulpit. “Let us turn to the Book of Romans, chapter thirteen, verse eight.” Ben stood behind his podium and opened his well-loved Bible. The pages were crinkled and the binding was loose, but he couldn’t bear to get a new one. It was like an old friend. “‘Owe no man any thing,’” Ben read, “‘but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.’”
The door opened and Ben looked up. An older gentleman walked into the church. Something about his posture struck Ben as familiar, but he pushed the thought aside and glanced back at his Bible—but then he looked up again sharply. The man took off his cap and revealed white, stringy hair. Reginald Trask dipped his head and slipped into the back pew, his face down, as if he was trying to blend in with the others unnoticed.
Emmy watched Ben closely and turned her head to see what he was looking at. The other parishioners also looked up at Ben, questions in their eyes.
Ben shook his head to get his bearings and then he continued reading from the Book of Romans. “‘For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery,’” he said. “‘Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.’” He looked down at his notes and tried to recall what he had planned to say. It was unusual for him to lose his train of thought, but seeing Mr. Trask was unnerving. What was he doing in Little Falls? Had he come to take the boys, after all?
Levi swung his legs under the front pew and Zeb played with his fingers. Emmy set her hand on Levi’s knee again and his legs stopped swinging, but he looked as bored as Ben remembered being in church as a child. The boys had only been with him for about two weeks, but in that time they had endeared themselves to Ben. The sudden thought of them leaving with Mr. Trask and living in those deplorable conditions made Ben’s chest constrict with fear like he’d never known. What would he do if Mr. Trask demanded them?
People began to fidget in their seats and Ben knew he must continue with his sermon before they became more uncomfortable. “The Bible also says in Mark, chapter twelve, verse thirty-one, that the second greatest commandment is to love thy neighbor as thyself. I often think of this verse while I’m about my daily business.”
Mr. Trask looked around the church, his gaze skimming the people who had gathered. Was he looking for the boys?
Ben continued, his thoughts scattered. Several people gave him strange looks as he fumbled through his sermon, but it was Emmy who looked the most concerned.
Finally, it was time for the closing prayer. “Let us bow our heads.”
Everyone did as he requested, even Mr. Trask.
“Lord—” Ben let out a long breath “—we thank You for Your loving kindness, Your abundant grace and Your perfect will. Help us to accept Your plans and offer love to everyone we meet. Amen.”
“Amen,” the others echoed.
Ben stepped away from the podium and went to Emmy and Mrs. Carver. He usually walked down the aisle to be at the door to thank everyone for coming, but his first priority was the boys today.
“Mr. Trask has joined us,” he said quietly to the ladies. “Why don’t you take the boys out the back door and I’ll find out what he wants.”
Emmy looked over her shoulder, concern on her face. “I was wondering why you were so shaken today. Do you think—?”
“I don’t know,” Ben answered before she could voice her question. “I’ll find out and be home as soon as I can.”
“Come, boys,” Mrs. Carver said in a merry voice. “Let’s see who can get to the parsonage first.” She directed them toward the back door, behind the pulpit. They didn’t miss the opportunity for a contest and were soon out of the building.
“Would you like me to come with you to talk to him?” Emmy asked.
It would be nice to have Emmy’s support as he spoke to Mr. Trask, but then he saw Adam standing near the door, no doubt waiting for Emmy, and he had second thoughts. “Could you go with Mrs. Carver to keep the boys occupied while she prepares lunch?”
Emmy nodded. “I’d be happy to.”
He watched her walk out the same door the others had taken a moment ago, and then turned to find Mr. Trask—but he was nowhere to be seen.
Ben’s heart rate escalated as he started toward the door. “Pardon me,” he said to those in the aisle. “Can I get through?”
His friends and neighbors moved aside, allowing him to pass, though several looked troubled by his behavior. He made it to the door and stepped outside, looking toward the right, where the parsonage sat, but Mr. Trask wasn’t there. Ben looked to his left, toward the center of town, and finally saw the older man climbing into a sleigh.
Part of Ben wanted to watch the man pull away and not return, but the other part wanted to reach out to him. Clearly, he’d come a long way for some reason.
“Mr. Trask.” Ben jogged toward the sleigh and the other man looked over his shoulder, but he continued to climb into the sleigh.
“Wait,” Ben called again.
Mr. Trask sat on the bench and lifted the horse’s reins. “It was a mistake to come.”
“No.” Ben stopped beside the sleigh and put his hand on the box. “Please, don’t leave yet. I’d like to talk to you.”
The other man shook his head. “I shouldn’t have come. I knew it all the way here, but something pulled me. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Please,” Ben said. “Come back to the church and let’s talk about why you came.”
Mr. Trask looked around at the buildings and people and shook his head. “I haven’t been in a church since I was a lad. Don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that.”
Confusion tilted Ben’s brow. “It wasn’t what?”
“All warm and cozy-like.” He looked at Ben, his gaze somewhere between reverence and disgust. “And those words you spoke, about loving thy neighbor and such—I never heard someone say it as if they truly believed it. Makes me downright uncomfortable.”
Ben had barely strung two coherent words together during his sermon. He didn’t think he’d made sense, but apparently, it was what Mr. Trask needed to hear.
Everything in Ben wanted to send Mr. Trask on his way, but he sensed the need to invite him to lunch. It didn’t appear as if the man had come to steal the boys away. If he had, wouldn’t he be there now? “Would you like to join us in the parsonage? My housekeeper is roasting some beef and she baked a chocolate cake.” He paused, but th
en went on before he changed his mind. “Your grandsons are there now, and they’d be happy to meet you.”
Mr. Trask rubbed his whiskers and scrunched his face as if in thought. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”
“It must be the reason you came,” Ben said. “Don’t let fear stop you now.”
He sat for a moment, and then he secured the reins to the dashboard and started to climb down. “I’ll come, but there’s one condition.”
“Of course.”
“I don’t want them to know I’m their grandpa.”
Ben frowned. “Why not?”
The old man suddenly looked a lot older. Weariness and heartache wrinkled his face as he met Ben’s gaze. “I didn’t do right by their pa, and I don’t reckon I could do right by them. They’d be better off not knowing who I am in the long run.”
“If that’s how you want it.”
“It is.”
“Then I’ll honor your request.”
Mr. Trask nodded and followed Ben toward the parsonage.
Ben hoped and prayed he had done the right thing by inviting Mr. Trask to join them. Maybe, just maybe, he could help Ben find the boys’ father, after all.
* * *
Emmy sat at the small table in the front room with Levi and Zeb, a game of checkers between her and the boys.
“It’s your turn, Zeb,” Levi said to his brother as he hovered close to Zeb’s shoulder. “Move this one over there.” He pointed to the checker that he wanted Zeb to move, but Zeb didn’t seem to pay him any attention. Instead, Zeb moved a different checker, right into Emmy’s path.
For a moment, Emmy vacillated. Should she ignore the checker and move a different one to spare Zeb’s disappointment, or should she play the game as it should be played, showing Zeb that he must be more careful where he moved?
“There, Miss Emmy!” Levi pointed at the checker she could use to jump Zeb. “Take that one.”
Zeb’s mouth fell open into a perfect O and he frowned at Levi. “Don’t help her win!”
The Gift of Twins Page 10