“Really very sorry,” I added.
“Hhmm!” was all Mum said.
“Can we have another chance, please?” Anthony asked. “I’d do anything to get a cat . . .”
“A rabbit . . .” said Edward.
“A . . .”
“A nothing,” Mum interrupted, her hands on her hips. “I have no intention of getting a pet for you three. Not after I had to call out the Fire Brigade yesterday. You had that cat for just five minutes and you still managed to get into trouble.”
“Oh, please . . .” we all begged.
“NO! And that’s final.” And Mum turned back to the apple crumble she was making.
My brothers and I wandered out into the garden. We sat on the grass and I started to pull the grass blades out of the ground.
“It’s all your fault, Maxine,” Anthony said, pouting at me. “It was your idea to go up the tree after Syrup the cat.”
“Yeah, your fault,” Edward agreed.
“No it wasn’t.”
“Yes it was.”
“Oh no it wasn’t.”
“Oh yes it was.”
Then we had a big argument about whose fault it was until Mum tapped on the kitchen window and made a stern face which said, “I hope you three aren’t arguing” without the words even having to come out of her mouth.
“The thing is, what are we going to do now?” I said. “We’ve got to persuade Mum to buy us a pet.”
“That’s a hard one,” said Anthony.
“Yeah! Very hard!” agreed Edward.
“I think this is definitely a job for Girl Wonder . . .”
“And the Terrific Twins,” said Anthony and Edward glumly.
This was definitely a tough one! We sat and thought and thought and sat.
“Terrific Twins, I’ve got it!” I said at last, clapping my hands together. “We’ll prove to Mum that we can look after a pet.”
“She’ll never allow us to have Syrup again,” Anthony said. “So how are we going to look after a pet without actually having a pet to practise on?”
“Yeah! How?” asked Edward.
“We’ll use Captain, my teddy bear, and pretend it’s a dog . . .”
“A cat . . .” said Anthony.
“A rabbit,” said Edward.
“Do you two want to hear my plan or not?” I asked, folding my arms across my chest.
“Get on with it then,” Anthony said.
“Yeah, hurry up,” Edward added.
Brothers!
‘As I was saying, we’ll have to pretend Captain is our pet and show Mum that we can look after him. And Captain will be a dog because he’s my teddy bear and it was my idea.”
So we all agreed and went indoors to start our plan. I ran up to my bedroom and brought Captain downstairs. I put him in front of the telly. Then the twins and I sat on the sofa.
“You three are very quiet. What are you doing?” Mum asked us as she walked into the room. Then she saw Captain. “Maxine, why have you brought your teddy bear downstairs?”
“Captain isn’t a teddy bear. Captain is our pet dog,” Anthony said.
A slow smile spread over Mum’s face. “Oh, is he?” she said. “So you’ll be taking him for a walk before lunch.”
“That’s right,” I replied, peeved because Mum was biting her bottom lip. She always does that when she’s trying not to laugh, and this was serious!
Mum went out into the kitchen and came back with a piece of string with a loop at one end. “There you are, a lead for your dog,” she said, biting her lip after every other word.
I put the lead around Captain’s neck.
“Come on you two, we’ve got to take Captain for a walk,” I said.
“I’m not walking down the street dragging a teddy bear.” Anthony frowned.
“Nor am I,” said Edward.
“I thought it was a dog!” Mum laughed.
“It’s a dog in the house,” Anthony said. “Outside the house it’s a teddy bear.”
Anthony and Edward refused to take Captain for a walk with me. So that was the end of that idea. When Mum left the room I said, “All right then. We’ll have to come up with another plan to persuade Mum to buy us a pet.”
“Like what?” Anthony asked.
“Such as?” asked Edward.
And we all sat and cracked our brains trying to think.
Get a Pet – Plan Two
“If we want a pet, we’re going to have to come up with a super-duper plan,” I replied. “So this is a job that only Girl Wonder . . .”
“And the Terrific Twins can do,” Edward finished, and we all spun around until the room spun with us.
We sat very still and thought very hard.
“How about . . .” I began slowly. “How about if we’re very good and help Mum around the house and then she’ll forget about yesterday?”
“Hhmm!” said Anthony.
“Hhhmmm!” Edward repeated.
“It’s worth a try, unless either of you has a better idea.”
They didn’t. We walked into the kitchen.
“Do you want some help, Mum?” we asked as she started the washing-up.
“Some help doing what?” Mum asked suspiciously.
“Some help with the washing-up,” I answered.
Mum looked really suspicious now. “There’s only three saucepans and a couple of plates, but all right then. Edward and Anthony, you can wash up, and Maxine, you can dry.”
“All right, Mum,” we said.
Mum put her hands on her hips. “What are you three up to now?”
“Nothing. We’re just helping you – that’s all.”
“Hhmm!” Mum replied. “All right then, but no messing about with the hot water or you’ll scald yourselves.”
Anthony put on Mum’s rubber gloves as Mum left the kitchen, shaking her head.
“Don’t drop any plates,” I hissed at the twins.
Anthony ran some cold water into the sink, then a little bit of hot water. Then he squeezed some washing-up liquid under the running taps – and he squeezed and he SQUEEZED. The bump of bubbles in the sink grew into a hill of bubbles and the hill turned into a mountain of bubbles. We stared at the world of bubbles which was still growing.
“How much washing-up liquid did you squeeze into the sink?” I asked Anthony.
“All of it.” Anthony frowned. “Wasn’t I supposed to?”
“I don’t think so,” I replied. “Quick, do something.”
Edward swept his hand through the bubbles. They flew everywhere – over the draining board, over the plants on the window-sill. They floated up towards the ceiling and they floated down towards the floor.
“Maxine, do something,” Anthony said quickly.
Then the water in the sink began to splosh over on to the kitchen floor.
“Turn off the taps. Quick!” I said.
Anthony turned off the taps but it was too late. The water squelched and slurped under our feet.
“That’s the end of my cat.” Anthony sighed.
“That’s the end of my rabbit.” Edward shrugged.
“Get some kitchen towels,” I said quickly. “Don’t let Mum see this . . .”
“Don’t let Mum see what?”
We all spun around. There was Mum in the kitchen doorway, her hands on her hips.
“MAXINE! ANTHONY! EDWARD!” Mum roared. “What is that?” She pointed to the mega-enormous universe of bubbles behind us. “And what’s that?” She pointed to the water puddle under our feet.
“It’s . . . er . . .”
“Never mind. Anthony, pull out the plug from the sink,” Mum ordered. Then she stood over us as we mopped up the floor and wiped down the sink and wiped each leaf on every plant – which took mega-ages. And of all the telling-offs Mum had ever given us, the one we got as we cleaned up the kitchen was the best! (By which I mean the longest and the most cross!) We tried to tell Mum that we’d only been trying to help but she wouldn’t listen.
“
Trying to help?” she fumed. “Trying to help! A hurricane would have been more helpful.”
“Does that mean you won’t buy us a pet?” Anthony asked. Honestly! My brother had a mouth the size of a planet.
“So that’s what this is all about,” Mum retorted. “Right, that does it. Tomorrow I’m going to get you a pet and that’ll be the end of that.”
“Get a cat. Please, please,” pleaded Anthony.
“No, don’t. Get a rabbit. Please, Mum,” begged Edward.
“A dog would be the most interesting, Mum . . .” I began.
Mum raised her hand to ward off our pleading. “That’s enough – from all three of you. I have already made up my mind which pet we’re going to have.”
We tried to ask Mum which pet she was going to get but all she did was shake her head.
“Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies,” she said. “Now off you go into the garden.”
And Mum didn’t mention our pet for the rest of the day.
The next morning Mum got Miss Ree to babysit while she went out. We peered out of the window, waiting for Mum to return from the pet shop. At last she came walking up the garden path, a small brown bag in her hand.
“That’s much too titchy for a kitten.” Anthony frowned.
“That bag is too tiny for a rabbit,” said Edward.
“That bag is too tiddly for a puppy,” I said.
We ran out to meet Mum.
“What is it? What is it?” we asked eagerly.
Mum pulled off the brown bag. In her hand she held a small polythene bag filled with water and in the water was a tiny goldfish.
“This is your pet,” Mum said.
A goldfish!
“The tank is in the car next to the fish food on the passenger seat. Maxine, you get the tank and carry it carefully. Boys, you can get the fish food.”
“A goldfish!” Anthony said when we got to the car. “That’s not much of a pet. It can’t catch mice like a cat.”
“Or munch lettuce and carrots like a rabbit,” said Edward.
“Or fetch a stick like a dog,” I sighed.
“So much for your silly-stupid-seriously-stinky-smelly plan, Maxine.” Anthony pouted.
“Huh!” I replied. “We got a pet, didn’t we? And a goldfish is better than nothing.”
As Tall as Tall
I was in a bad mood when I got home from school.
“What’s the matter with you?” Anthony asked.
“Yeah, your face is wrinkled like scrunched-up paper,” said Edward.
I stared at myself in the hall mirror. I turned to the left and I turned to the right.
“Do you think I’m short?” I asked my brothers.
“You’re taller than us,” said Anthony.
“A lot taller,” agreed Edward.
“But I’m not as tall as Sharon in my class at school. She’s taller than everyone – except the teacher.”
“So?” said Anthony.
“She called me a short dumpling.” I frowned. “I need to grow taller – a lot taller. I want to be taller than Sharon. I want to be as tall as tall.”
“How are you going to do that?” Anthony asked.
“Yeah, how?” asked Edward.
“I’ll have to think about that one,” I replied. “Maybe this is a job for Girl Wonder and . . .”
“The Terrific Twins!” my brothers shouted, whirling around like hula hoops.
“We need a plan – something that will make me grow,” I said. “Come on, Terrific Twins – I need your help. Think!”
We sat down on the carpet, each of us crossing our legs. We each sat very still and thought and thought. I thought so hard that my eyes began to ache.
“How tall do you want to grow?” asked Anthony. “Do you want to grow as tall as a mountain or only as tall as a tree?”
I thought for a moment. “As tall as a tree,” I decided.
That would be tall enough.
We each thought some more.
“Well, if you plant a little seed it grows into a big tree,” Edward said. “So maybe if you swallowed a little seed it would grow into a big tree inside you and it would push you up and up and then you’d be as tall as a tree. You’d be as tall as tall.”
“That’s a good idea!” I grinned. “I’ll swallow orange seeds. Orange trees are tall and I can get the seeds because we always have plenty of oranges in the house. Are you two going to join me?”
“Nah! We’ll watch you first,” said Edward. Just then Mum came in from the garage.
“Right then. What would you three like for your tea?” Mum asked.
“Fish and chips,” said Anthony.
“Sausages and chips,” said Edward, clapping his hands.
“Oranges!” I shouted.
Mum just laughed. I think she thought I was joking.
In the end Mum made fish and chips. I didn’t have any even though it smelt scrummy-delicious. Whilst the twins and Mum scoffed the scrummy-delicious fish and chips I chewed on my oranges, swallowing the seeds whole.
“Why are you eating so many oranges?” Mum asked me.
“I like oranges,” I replied, trying to force down the last orange.
Mum looked at me, her eyes suspicious. All she said was, “Hhmm!”
The next day I had two oranges for breakfast, three oranges for lunch and four oranges for dinner. As soon as dinner was finished I measured myself against our measuring wall in the bathroom. I hadn’t grown one millimetre! And what’s more I was sick – sick of oranges.
When I woke up the next morning I had the worst tummy ache in the world.
“Ooh!” I groaned. “Ooooh!”
Mum called the doctor.
“Now then, Maxine,” Doctor Turner said after taking my temperature, “your mum told me that you’re eating a lot of oranges. She said you’re eating oranges and nothing else. Is that right?”
I nodded. Oooooooh! My stomach was really hurting.
“Why have you suddenly become so keen on oranges?” Doctor Turner asked.
Mum was glaring at me from beside Doctor Turner. She had her hands on her hips.
“I love oranges.” I didn’t exactly lie, but I didn’t exactly tell the truth either.
“Is that the whole reason?” Mum asked softly.
I thought hard. My stomach ache was getting worse and I was as miserable as miserable but I didn’t want to tell Mum why I was eating so many oranges. She might stop me, or worse still, she might get annoyed.
“Yeah, that’s the whole reason,” I replied.
“Doctor Turner, can I speak to you for a moment?” Mum said.
The doctor and my mum went outside my room to stand on the landing.
“I . . . oranges . . . cure . . . oranges . . . oranges . . . oranges.” That was all I heard, even though I pushed my ears as far forward as possible.
Mum and Doctor Turner came back into the room.
“Maxine, Doctor Turner agrees with me that what you need is a diet of oranges and nothing else,” Mum began. “I was going to make you a cheese, onion and potato pie, followed by ice cream and chocolate sauce and a long glass of ice-cold cream soda, but . . .”
“It’s all right,” I said quickly. “I don’t mind having that.”
“Nonsense.” Mum smiled. “You said you love oranges. That’s all you’ve eaten for the last two days.”
“But just to make sure that Maxine gets all her essential vitamins and minerals, I would prescribe a teaspoonful of cod-liver oil three times a day and a chewy vitamin tablet twice a day,” said Doctor Turner, scribbling on a pad. “That way Maxine can eat as many oranges as she likes and nothing else.”
“NO! I DON’T WANT ANY MORE ORANGES,” I pleaded. “Maybe . . . maybe I’m not so keen on them after all.”
“Then why were you eating so many of them?” Mum asked.
Her eyes were glinting and sparkling like when the sun shines on water. When she looks at me like that, it’s as if she can read my mind. I decid
ed that perhaps I should just tell the truth. The truth takes a lot less effort.
“Well . . . Sharon at school called me a short dumpling,” I muttered. “So I was swallowing orange seeds so that they would grow into a tree inside me and push me up. Then I’d be taller than Sharon and she couldn’t call me a short dumpling any more.”
“Oh, I see.” Doctor Turner laughed.
“Oh, I see.” Mum smiled.
“Maxine, it’s the oranges that are causing your stomach ache,” Doctor Turner said. “And it doesn’t matter how many you eat, you’ll never get a tree growing inside of you. If you want to grow you have to eat lots of different kinds of foods – like carrots and greens, and protein foods like eggs and milk.”
“Yuk!” I said. “What about chocolate? Will that make me grow?”
“Only sideways, not upwards,” said Doctor Turner, smiling.
“Maxine, you’re not short and it wouldn’t matter if you were,” Mum said. “It’s what you are inside that counts, not what you are outside. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Mum,” I said, holding my aching stomach.
“OK, Maxine, I’ll prescribe some medicine for you which should take away your stomach ache. No more oranges or you’ll turn into one,” said Doctor Turner, pulling a face.
I smiled up at her. She’s funny.
Mum went downstairs, followed by the doctor. After a few minutes Mum came back up the stairs alone, her hands behind her back.
“I’ve brought you a drink.” Mum smiled, her eyes glinting.
“What is it?” I asked suspiciously.
Mum brought out the glass from behind her back. “Orange juice!” She laughed.
I buried my head under my pillow. “Take it away!” I said. “I never want to see anything that’s orange ever again.”
Saving Energy
When I got home from school, I ran into the kitchen where Mum was mashing potatoes for our tea and the twins were laying the table.
“What did you do at school today?” Mum asked me.
“We learnt about energy and how we should all save it,” I replied, dropping my school bag on the kitchen floor. “We should always switch off lights when we’re not in the room and we should switch off all electric appli . . . appli . . . appliances when we’re not using them.”
Girl Wonder and the Terrific Twins Page 2
