by David Brin
NeedleStack: oh shit there’s a second plague coming??
Scheherazade: No, this _is_ the second one. A viral vector was planted … sometime. Maybe. If true, it helps explain why isolated areas are seeing less plague. So FWOP is examining Dragon data back about five years, looking for patterns. We think it’s colds or something subtle, because the CDC is pretty smart and would have seen something else. We’re also getting data on OTC cold product sales on the East Coast. Looking for correlation with Dragon health and battle performance.
hygge: Can I ask a game question? Even with all this stuff going down?
Scheherazade: @hygge Of course! I like helping people level. Oh! And thanks for the contact at the CDC. It worked.
hygge: Glad of that! My question: I have a friend who wants to play, but he got his intestinal bacteria optimized to match his genes and they make him an Orc. Won’t that put him opposite us Pixies on the dietary wheel?
Scheherazade: Orcs do get another minion, and this is a numbers game. But if you recruit he owes you five annihilation points. Worth it. Besides, we just want more players. It’s more fun.
hygge: Okay, thanks.
MarcoYOLO: My coworker Zane—draws the space anime thing I showed you? He’d be a Dragon if he played. (poor guy has a peanut allergy and we can’t even bring them in the office) He’s in the hospital.:(Stabilized but his guts are ravaged. Might need an ostomy bag. Really fast, like 3 days to near-death.
Scheherazade: Whoa. Poor guy. I hope he recovers with time. My brother’s best friend died yesterday.:(So awful. I throw myself into the numbers because it feels like hope. How are all your loved ones?
MarcoYOLO: My whole family is okay. Three sisters & two brothers & parents, we’re all okay. All Pixie types. Buncha lactose-intolerant fish-thriving salad-eaters.
Scheherazade: Whoa, I had no idea you had so many siblings.
MarcoYOLO: Tell Mike about my family.
Scheherazade: I will. Ugh, this is horrible. Understatement of the year. We all know a Dragon who died, or came close. Did you ever see avocadoglory attack here? He’s gone.:(So are Harmstar and XYZZY from Sacramento. And gligga, who’s an Orc but died anyway. She had a seizure problem and the plague triggered it.
hygge::(
MarcoYOLO: Shit.:(
NeedleStack: so i was looking at tsc data and figured something out.
Scheherazade: TSC software is against the rules of FeastWar. It’s third-party software and it accesses their proprietary code. If you use it, don’t admit it.
NeedleStack: this is important. i tracked the genetic profiles of the dragons over time against location, then corrected for attacks from other armies. so i could see where dragons fell apart on their own. i also took data about pixies because pixies rule and also because we are the least sick of any army. so we were contrast.
Scheherazade: Actually, the Orcs are the least sick.
NeedleStack: whatever. and remember epicurtainous? the food photography game from like ten years ago?
Scheherazade: Sure. Basic motivationware, with feedback loops to get people moving. Exercising. If it’s fun, people will play. Kind of led to FeastWar.
NeedleStack: i was a curator and had data from my team network. they went on to become dragons and pixies and things in feastwar. but i still have all that data showing where they were eating and their photo upload patterns. ten years worth. 900 people in my oakland network alone.
Scheherazade: You’re kidding.
NeedleStack: i wrote a program to overlay the data with known scheduled feasts and removed the impromptu feasts. check out the extensions of their curves back through the years. look here.
Scheherazade: These inflection points … Wow, you’re right! When you graph the data that way, the epicenter’s in Pennsylvania. People were sick there (and worse) before anywhere else. These graphs could show early precursors.… But in the last month, Pennsylvania’s had fewer deaths. How is this working?
hygge: I was reading about the Spanish flu in 1918 and how the second wave was the worst of the three. Something about how a virus mutates as it works through the population. And earliest victims had better care; nurses weren’t sick yet. So they survived more.
Scheherazade: Good point! Same thing now, with the human staff dropping like flies. Thank science for our minimally skilled robo-help. Good robots. Nice robots.
NeedleStack: you should focus on philly
Scheherazade: We will, thanks! That was amazing! We tried an analysis like this, but couldn’t go back far enough. You’ve got the data, and your code does a great job eliminating noise from signal.
NeedleStack: im pretty awesome when bored.:)
2034-03-10
hygge: Help. Should I break into the pharmacy down the street?
Scheherazade: Whoa.
hygge: It’s locked for quarantine but I know their cameras aren’t working. I used to shop there and I found out because my bike got stolen.
MarcoYOLO: Why ask us?
NeedleStack: never put that in writing. just do it. or don’t. but there’s always cams. assume that.
hygge: I need advice. My wife won’t die without her antidepressant. She’s just very sick and can’t get out of bed.:(
Scheherazade: This is that famous moral question about stealing bread for your starving family.:(
hygge: If she’d die, I’d do it no question. I’d get it overnight from somewhere but mail’s so unreliable right now.
Scheherazade: Which drug?
hygge: Glasoxitine.
MarcoYOLO: Kind of cold but … Is she suicidal?
hygge: oh god. I don’t think so? Not yet?
Scheherazade: Ugh. Internet says this is one you shouldn’t go off cold turkey.
hygge: No kidding. You think?:P
Scheherazade: Sorry. I don’t know what to do.:(I think there’ll be millions of cases like this getting scrutiny later. You have a good reason …
hygge: I’m scared.
Scheherazade: I’ll ask FWOP if anyone local has some extras.
hygge: It’s not common. No one will have it, but thanks.:(Bye, going idle …
Scheherazade: Ugh.:(Oh hey, Kim says her husband has stabilized (yay) and she apologized to me, while crying.
MarcoYOLO: Better’n nothing.
Scheherazade: It’s okay. I just want them safe. Also, I passed NeedleStack’s analysis to Mike and it was perfect. We need more data. (Mike, uh, doesn’t use TSC either, wink wink.)
NeedleStack: yay. want more?
MarcoYOLO: What are you guys doing now?
Scheherazade: Tracking the guy down from his own targeted plague. We’re assuming he wouldn’t target himself. @Everyone: do you trust me?
MarcoYOLO: Of course.
NeedleStack: sure
Scheherazade: This is important or I wouldn’t do it.
***MikeTheDrop*** has joined the chamber
MarcoYOLO: WHAT??
NeedleStack: wtf!
Scheherazade: I know. Just listen.
MikeTheDrop: Hi guys. Sorry to intrude. I promise not to read your files or look at battle plans.
Scheherazade: Mike is here for data. To crosscheck the timeline of plague waves against genetic profiles registered with FeastWar.
MikeTheDrop: This was Emily’s idea, but it’s important.
Scheherazade: The TSC data (which remember Mike doesn’t use, wink) requires him to access as a Pixie. So, this is DropTheMike’s … little brother. I gave him Pixie admin access to our membership and history. I want to be open that he’s here. I trust him more than anyone.
NeedleStack: two accounts!! naughty. how did you bypass the genetic crosscheck?
MikeTheDrop: I’m sorry, the person who would know that doesn’t want me answering …
MarcoYOLO: You’re here as a Pixie? Accessing tons of people’s genetic data without their permission??
Scheherazade: Only what any admin can see, and it’s an emergency. This is the fastest way to get what he needs and aggregate
it.
NeedleStack: he’ll see where we’re planning stuff. this is crap.
MikeTheDrop: I promise I won’t use anything here against you.
NeedleStack: why pixies??
Scheherazade: Because you used us as the control group. If you’d used Orcs, he would’ve gone to them.
NeedleStack: oh
MikeTheDrop: I need to correlate your data with some genetic markers, and compare to optimized intestinal bacteria profiles for Dragons and Pixies.
MarcoYOLO: @Emily why worry about FeastWar’s stupid 3rd-party software rules when you’re doing shit like this?:P
Scheherazade: If we get banned, it’d take hours … days to sort out. Time we don’t have.:P
MarcoYOLO: I guess …
NeedleStack: i guess but i don’t like it. i don’t want my data shared all over.
Scheherazade: It’s already being shared like crazy. And look at what we’re up against. We’ve got to fight.
MarcoYOLO: @MikeTheDrop you owe us all sushi.:P
MikeTheDrop: I promise I’ll scan Emily enough money to buy you dinner. I’ll even ship her some mana.
NeedleStack: oh fine. as long as dragons are our mana slaves.
Scheherazade: Come on. We’ve ALL got more important problems right now.
NeedleStack: i know. really.:(
MarcoYOLO: For once, the world has MORE drama than FeastWar chat …
2034-03-13
MarcoYOLO: We have a name. We have a manifesto. James Barrow … Guy on the news looks like a real bastard. *shudder* @Emily this is FeastWar’s doing, yeah?
Scheherazade: FWOP got a team from all over—Chicago, Tokyo, Lima, Paris … And one amazing girl in Maryland.
MikeTheDrop: We inferred that the guy didn’t live in Philly but had easy access to it. So we looked at areas within a few hours of travel.
NeedleStack: i said philly dammit!!
Scheherazade: SmallAnnoyingTree (she’s 14!) did an epidemiological survey of her hometown, knocking on doors and talking to people. Mapped the plague’s spread in a real location.
hygge: Wow. Brave.
Scheherazade: @hygge! How is your wife? I’ve been worried!
NeedleStack: don’t tell us if you did it.
hygge: We found an old bottle in the cabinet. Lower dose, but she’s on it. She’ll be okay now I think.
Scheherazade: Thank science. I’m so glad.
MarcoYOLO: Good! @Emily—about Barrow.
Scheherazade: Yeah, we were right about the viral vector! Apparently Barrow is _very_ patient. He’s been planting his vector for decades, mixed in with the common cold. He made so many that scientists thought they were just a subclass of rhinovirus, and didn’t realize they were engineered.
MikeTheDrop: His rhinovirus combined with susceptible people’s DNA to prime them for the real thing: the plague he released a month ago. If you had a cold in the last thirty years … you probably encountered one of his little creations.
hygge: Ewwww. He needs a hobby. Or kittens.
NeedleStack: he’d eat them.
Scheherazade: That’s why the virus was dominant in populated areas. Remote Brazilian tribes don’t get many colds—and even if a visiting anthropologist brought them the viral vector, they weren’t likely to get re-exposed.
MikeTheDrop: He designed it that way. He was trying to kill people who couldn’t survive in the climate-changed future.
MarcoYOLO: WHAT. I didn’t hear this. Wtf.
Scheherazade: Yeah! Didn’t you read the manifesto?
MarcoYOLO: No, was reading about relief efforts.
Scheherazade: Check this quote: “The population is 9 billion and growing. A population correction is inevitable. Rather than suffer the indiscriminate destruction of the human genome through riots, we should cull the weak so the strong can thrive.”
NeedleStack: my new warrior name will be barrowsucks
hygge: Augh.:P
MarcoYOLO: FBI’ll be on that like a cat on a heat vent.
Scheherazade: Oh yeah. They’re hunting.
MarcoYOLO: This I gotta see. *toasts nori snacks* *makes popcorn for Mike if he can have it?*
MikeTheDrop: Truly a special part of humanity. If we can call him that.
Scheherazade: There’s some crap about how he’s dedicated his life to analyzing the data—he calls himself genius, of course—and then this: “I assigned everyone a Survival Index (SI) based on multiple factors. The primary factor was of course the compatibility between their primary and sub-immune systems (popularly called ‘digestive immunity’).”
MarcoYOLO: No, I heard all that, but what do you mean about climate-changed future?
MikeTheDrop: People who could adapt better to low-water conditions and digest anything they found, including carrion.
MarcoYOLO: No way. Orcs??
NeedleStack: oh god, orcs are our future? im outta here, the kingdom is lost
hygge: Seriously. Are we sure this guy _isn’t_ a new recruit for the Orcs?
Scheherazade: I’m having fun looking through this nonsense. It’s pretty much gazing into the abyss. Wait, this is the best quote: “The media will compare me to Hitler, which is ridiculous. Let’s not get caught up in nonsense about the Final Solution; that was racist bullshit. This is pure science.” HAHAHAHHA idiot. He even named his master race. _Homo aptatus_. That’s it, people, we’re evolving! Out of the way!
MarcoYOLO: UGH. I’m getting Over&Under just reading that.
NeedleStack: heil barrow
hygge: Where’s that pic of the chihuahua smashing its face into the glass door over and over? Yeah. That.
MikeTheDrop: NSA is working on retrieving his notes so we can develop a targeted antiviral. He must have filed them somewhere … and if he ever typed a note or used a computer to design his virus (likely) there’s a chance we can retrieve information.
Scheherazade: Most people don’t know how to delete their data completely. I’m sure I couldn’t. Welcome to our brave new world.
MikeTheDrop: FWOP has our white hats and sketchy-gray hats and “others” working on the same thing. FeastWar attracts a lot of computer specialists …
Scheherazade: We think he’s in Baltimore.
MarcoYOLO: So how do we actually catch him?
MikeTheDrop: The Orcs in Baltimore have a plan.
Scheherazade: Rest assured, everyone, that we are _on this_. Our scouts will find him. If you want something done right? Ask gamers!
MarcoYOLO: Awesome!
Scheherazade: I just hope it works. Come on, Orcs!
NeedleStack: are we really cheering for orcs in the pixie warchamber? while a dragon watches? thats it, im deposing you.
2034-03-16
NeedleStack: see the news? we caught the fucker!
MikeTheDrop: And we got his notes! The antiviral should be available within 24 hours. All the pharmas are devoting nonstop production hours to it.
Scheherazade: YES! Thank science! We win, and FeastWar did it!
NeedleStack: no way, the pixies did it all!!! ok, the others helped.
Scheherazade: Oh, come on. FWOP was in full data analysis mode 24/7 around the world this week. Give us some credit.
MarcoYOLO: @Emily you know everything.:) What happened? What’s up with Barrow dying in custody? Getting one thing from news, another from FeastWar forums. *plops in armchair* *waits for juicy story*
Scheherazade: Baltimore Orcs were heroes! They sent all their people out. Feet on the ground, anywhere they might find him getting food—a few restaurants that are still open, delis, grocery store meat sections. Phones scanning the crowd, looking for him. And they found him! At a farmers’ market in Woodbine.:) A whole squad of Orcs. Snapped photos, alerted the FBI, got him arrested, everything!
hygge: I hope they chased him down with giant foam warhammers. And maybe some turkey legs. Looking for pics now …
MarcoYOLO: But he’s dead. What happened?
MikeTheDrop: It’s all in Orc photos. He took poison as he ran. T
he FBI was on him fast, and he died while being arrested.
Scheherazade: Expect mashup videos soon.
MikeTheDrop: CDC estimates our actions may have saved 200 million lives. We can deploy the antiviral before the plague hits full potency.
Scheherazade: Yeah, the feet on the street did it. Go FeastWar!
NeedleStack: orcs did something useful for once!
Scheherazade: We caught him by surprise. He had final words drafted on his phone. Listen, and I quote: “As a token of my sincerity, I will soon remove myself from the population. I’ve improved our chances for surviving 22nd-century Earth. Since we idiotically didn’t focus on the space program to escape the planet, we’re stuck here. Maybe the next wave of humanity will figure it out.”
NeedleStack: lol. aliens will rescue us.
MarcoYOLO: Sincerity? *snort* He killed himself to avoid getting caught!
Scheherazade: Oh wait, this is excellent: “My sperm is frozen at Riverside Cryobank, should anyone choose to use it for my intellect. I possess a solid genome, offering my descendants a better chance of survival.”
MarcoYOLO: @Emily we’ve found you a date!
Scheherazade: HAHAHA. Can’t hit you hard enough from here. Why don’t you go gay for him?
MarcoYOLO: You’re right. I need his sperm. Barrow, darling, take me!
NeedleStack: hahahaha
MikeTheDrop: Oh dear.
Scheherazade: Also he recorded this long boring rant about privacy before he splatted himself. He doesn’t mention FeastWar specifically, but it’s basically us. “Foolish people who waive privacy for instant gratification and fake rewards.”
NeedleStack: he has no idea what i do for instant gratification
hygge: Tmi!!
MarcoYOLO: Fake rewards, huh? Like those virtual banners feastwar.game tried to give us? God, those were so stupid.
Scheherazade: That’s all we do here, sell our souls for pleasure … clearly spoken by someone who’s never coordinated simultaneous feasts over two months. In six timezones. I HAVE.
hygge: Whatever. No one _has_ to play. We choose to.
Scheherazade: Working with the CDC showed me how much info they could get despite red tape—once they knew where to look. Creepy.
MikeTheDrop: Some of us theorize that Barrow accessed data similar to FeastWar’s records, allowing him to track the plague’s progress. Insufficient evidence yet … but knowing what our white hat friends did to find him? Who knows what Barrow could do?
