“Take it easy, your heart is pounding,” he added quietly.
“I thought you were slipping again,” Mandy murmured.
He drew back to look at her, alarmed. “Did you catch this bug from me? Are you feeling sick?”
“No, no, I was just frightened. I had thought you were improving and then I got scared when it seemed you…weren’t. That’s all.”
He held her tightly, his grip as sound and as steadying as it had been all the times he’d come to her rescue. She closed her eyes and drank in the feeling of comfort and security that he always brought to her crises, relieved beyond her power to express it that he was himself again.
“So, you’ve been having a lot of fun here, I guess?” he said dryly, holding her off to examine her face.
“A lot of fun,” she replied. “If you consider having a twenty-four hour nervous breakdown to be fun. You really do know how to show a girl a good time, Kelly.”
“I’ll do better in the future, I promise,” he said. “I’ll be so healthy you won’t have a care in the world. No fevers, no shivers, not even a hiccup.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” Mandy said. “I may not survive another session like this. You frightened me.”
“Thanks for staying with me,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry I gave you such a scare. But I’m not sorry you were here when it happened. It would be tough to find a better nurse.”
“I found you a doctor,” Mandy said with satisfaction. “She made a house call.”
“I heard some of what she had to say,” he answered darkly.
“You did? We thought you were out of it.” Oh-oh, Mandy thought.
“Not completely. In and out of it. Female voices are high, they carry.”
Mandy was silent.
“Karen thinks I’m a drunk. AND a deranged hermit,” he said flatly.
“That’s not what she said,” Mandy protested.
“Tell her I’ll take the pledge and hang some Bambi portraits on the walls if it will make her happy,” he added.
Mandy stood up next to the bed and looked away from him deliberately. “She said that you were lonely.”
He pulled her into his arms again. “I was,” he said shortly.
“And now?” Mandy asked him.
“No longer,” he replied, burying his face on her shoulder. She held him, her fingers tangling in his disordered hair, as he moved his lips to her breasts and mouthed them through the thin shirt she was wearing. His mouth was scalding, wet and irresistible. She closed her eyes and swayed in his embrace.
“Kelly, you’re still running a temperature,” she said feebly.
“And it’s going up higher,” he replied, bending to scoop her up under the knees and pull her onto the bed with him.
“I don’t think we should be doing this,” she whispered. “You’re sick.”
“I’m having a miraculous recovery,” he murmured, pulling her shirt over her head. He looked at the garment in his hand. “This isn’t yours, is it?”
“My mother’s. I changed into her clothes when I stayed all night at my parents’ house after the award ceremony.”
He dropped it. “Then it can’t possibly fit you. All these clothes have to come off, right now. That’s an order.” He began to unhook her bra.
“Brendan, I can’t ravish you while you have the flu.”
“Why not?” he asked reasonably, dropping her bra on top of the shirt.
“I give you my word that I will not leave. I will stay right here while you go back to sleep…”
“I’m not going back to sleep,” he said crossly, bending to take a nipple in his mouth. She shifted her weight away from him as he moved.
“Yes, you are,” she said, slipping out of his embrace. “I am not going to make love to a barely conscious man.”
“I’m fully conscious,” he said. But this eyes were blinking.
“Come on, Kelly. Your little field trip to the bathroom wore you out, you shouldn’t even have been on your feet for it. If I had known you were up I would have stopped you. We can wait a little longer.”
“We’ve waited too long already,” he murmured, as his eyes drifted closed.
“Darling, I’m just so happy that you’re better. I don’t care if we never make love.”
“Speak for yourself,” he muttered drowsily, and she smiled.
“Okay, I care,” she admitted. “ But just rest for now and I will be here when you wake up.”
She listened for his response, then sat next to him when she thought he was asleep.
“Promise?” he whispered, after a delay, not opening his eyes.
“Promise,” she replied.
* * * * *
When Mandy awoke again she was alone in the bed. She heard steady drumming on the roof and realized after a minute that it was raining, and that was why the room was so dark. It had to be Sunday at mid-morning but the gray light filtering through the blinds made it seem like it was barely dawn.
She listened for movement and heard the rush of water in the bathroom.
Kelly was taking a shower.
Mandy fell back against the pillows, filled with a pleasant lassitude. There was no place she would rather be, with Kelly nearby. She had almost drifted off to sleep again when the bathroom door opened and a shaft of light fell into the hall. She watched through half closed eyes as Kelly emerged, a towel around his hips, rubbing his wet hair with another towel. His hair was soaked and in ringlets and as she watched he began rubbing his body with the towel from his hair, unaware of her examination. Her breath came a little faster as he moved around, dumping his discarded clothes on a chair and then looking in a cabinet without result. He obviously thought she was still asleep.
Mandy watched him covertly, her attention riveted as she lay studying him, tracing every shadow and indentation on his flesh with her eyes. She had never seen him so closely at such length, and she ran her gaze avidly over the smooth expanse of his skin, the working muscles of his back, the savage scar which curved into his hip and under the towel loosely knotted at his waist. She especially liked the flat, indented muscles which ran down his abdomen on either side and slipped easily into his groin, just visible at the top of the towel and below his waist. They were as prominent on him as they were on the classical statues she admired, and she found herself wishing that the towel would slip to the floor and give her a better view. She didn’t speak because she didn’t want to disturb her contemplation of his secrets, but he turned suddenly and saw that she was looking at him.
From her entranced expression he knew that she had been watching him for a while. Her eyes were heavy lidded and sultry, her lips were parted. Her face was flushed and dewy and he could see a pulse beating in her throat.
Kelly crossed the distance between them in two long strides. Mandy watched as he came closer and she unconsciously yearned toward him, her hands pulling the linens away from her body.
Kelly’s eyes were fixed on hers and it seemed to take forever for him to get to her. She saw his breathing escalate as he loomed over her and she waited for his touch. It was the most powerful presexual experience of her life.
She would have clawed anyone who tried to stop him.
He tore off the blanket as he embraced her and lifted her bodily from the bed. Her exposed skin, superheated from the cocoon of the sheets, blazed against his chilled torso as he picked her up in one movement. He gasped aloud from the shock of the contact. She wound herself around him and they fell together to the mattress. He supported himself with his arms and looked down into her face.
She reached up to touch his cheek, his lips.
“Don’t do this unless you mean it,” he said softly.
“I mean it,” she said. “Please,” she whispered. “Now.”
He didn’t ask questions. He knew what she wanted. He pulled off her remaining clothes rapidly and lifted her against him. He kissed her luxuriously, stroking her back and her limbs until she was clinging to him so tightly her fingers ached.
He entered her fiercely as she wound her legs around him and closed her eyes, digging her heels into the back of his legs. She sank her fingers into his hair and arched her back reflexively, helpless before the tide of pleasure that encompassed them when she joined with him. He read her mood and didn’t bother with niceties; she was rapacious and he met her move for move. The rain pounded on the roof, blending with their sounds of pleasure as he pushed her toward a swift conclusion. It was short and explosive and left them both collapsed on the pillows, panting.
Neither said a word as the storm continued while their heartbeats returned to normal.
Finally Kelly’s husky voice broke the silence.
“Come here to me, you little firecracker,” he said tenderly, as he pulled her up to cradle her in his arms.
Mandy said nothing; she merely lay against him with her head on his shoulder. Kelly thought she had fallen asleep until she turned to wrap herself around him more closely, rubbing her nose on his bare bicep and clutching him, her mouth opening against his skin.
He sat up to look at her.
“What is it, Red?” he asked, concerned by her silence. “What’s wrong?”
She didn’t answer.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked, consternation in his tone.
She shook her head violently.
“You’d better tell me because I’m getting a little worried here,” he said lightly.
“I love you so much,” she whispered.
“I waited a long time to hear you say that,” he replied, just as quietly.
“And I waited so long for this to happen and I thought it never would. I had dates and boyfriends and lovers for fourteen years and I finally decided to settle for Tom because I thought there was nothing else for me. I just wasn’t going to find the one, the only, and I might as well make everybody else happy if I couldn’t make me happy. And then you….” she stopped.
“What?” he said gently.
“You made me see what I’d been missing, and I wasn’t going to settle for less, even if it meant upsetting the apple cart for everybody.”
“So you did something selfish in hooking up with me?”
“Yes.”
“Well its about damn time, is what I say. You’ve been living for your parents and your brother and Tom and everybody else for years. Live for me now, will you please? Live for us.”
Amanda planned to do just that.
* * * * *
Mandy lay curled against Kelly’s side, her head on his shoulder, one arm raised with her hand flat against his waist. She was fast asleep, her lips closed, her hair spread out on his chest like a scarlet flag. He looked down, studying the swell of her hips, watching the rise and fall of her breasts as she breathed.
He loved her skin. It was smooth and creamy and, for a redhead, nearly flawless. He would never say so, paying compliments always made him feel inadequate, as if he could never really communicate what he felt. But her lightly speckled ivory skin reminded him of the eggnog served at Christmas, the tiny freckles scattered across the creamy surface like the nutmeg or cinnamon floating on the top of the drink. That comparison sounded farcical and he kept it to himself. He kept a lot of what he wanted to say to himself. She was so articulate that she often made him feel like a tongue tied hillbilly, but he was learning. She was patient, and he would grow bolder and say more when her acceptance increased his confidence.
He loved her so much that he didn’t know what he would do if he lost her.
That’s not going to happen, he told himself. She had turned her back on all of her plans with Henderson in order to be with him, why would she leave him now?
But the little leprechaun in his head whispered that he wasn’t this lucky, to have the perfect woman fall for him as if he were her heart’s desire and then stay with him in spite of everything. What did she see in him anyway? Her privileged past excluded him and her job baffled him, especially when he overheard her conversations about estoppel and plenary motions and respondeat superior. She was beautiful and smart and wealthy and when the sex tsunami passed she would discover what a dolt he was and head for the nearest exit.
The voice of reason reasserted itself as he turned slightly and she snuggled against him, coming half awake and kissing his chest before sliding back into sleep. Sometimes in life a windfall came your way, and Amanda was his. You didn’t question it, you just rolled with it. He had to believe that. He had certainly been shorted enough in other areas, was it so impossible that fate had dealt him a winning hand at last?
He silenced the sheelagh, the sniggering bad luck fairy who sat on his shoulder and talked trash in his dreams, and closed his eyes.
* * * * *
Mandy awoke to the sound of diminishing rain and the knowledge that both of them had to get back to work in a few hours. It was the very early morning and she lifted Kelly’s arm from her waist to slip out of the bed. She went out to the living room, where items of clothing lay scattered about like leaves after a storm. She gathered them up and dressed, feeling grungy in her mother’s castoffs and planning to get home and change before she went to the office.
She didn’t want to leave Kelly. Ever. Not to go to work. Not to go to church. Not to go to the grocery store for food. It was ridiculous but staying holed up with him in this sparsely furnished apartment was the most appealing notion she had considered in a long time.
She had always been able to keep romance in perspective, but maybe that was because she had never had an all consuming relationship like this one. Everything else paled by comparison with it.
She found messages on her phone from her mother and from Karen. She answered them briefly and then picked up her purse to go back to her condo to change. When she turned to leave she saw Kelly standing in the doorway to the bedroom, watching her.
“Don’t go,” he said. “Stay with me.”
“I don’t want to go, but Sam won’t feel sorry for the stalking victim forever. I’ve already missed so much time, I need to get back there and show him I can still cut the mustard. Just sending material through e-mail isn’t the same thing as appearing personally and I want him to remember why he needs to keep me employed.”
“I’ll be at your place by five, then,” Kelly said quickly.
“Can’t I see you at lunch?” Mandy asked plaintively.
“You know what will happen. We’ll never get back to work,” he said.
She didn’t argue that point. “Are you sure you’re all right for me to leave you? I didn’t exactly let you rest after your illness,” she said, shamefaced.
“Are you kidding? Best medicine I ever had. I’ve changed my mind, I don’t want to screw up your job any more than I have already. Go to work. I’ll see you tonight.” He kissed her briefly, pushed her in the direction of the door, then pulled her back to kiss her again.
“You still look pale,” she said anxiously, glancing over her shoulder at him. “Remember to drink a lot of fluids.”
“Amanda, get out of here or I’ll toss you over my shoulder and carry you out myself,” he said sternly.
She left.
Amanda drove home to change and then went directly to the makeshift offices where the DA’s business was being conducted. She hadn’t been assigned anything yet so she did grunt work for the other assistants. She pored over files that had been damaged in the fire, supplementing their research by rifling through the half soaked, ash tinged boxes of paperwork saved from the inferno. Whatever hadn’t melted with the computers had to be examined and stored or discarded. No one mentioned that she was responsible for the mess since she had been Cameron’s target, they just plowed through the morass of smoky documents and accepted her assistance gratefully. Still the time dragged on interminably as she waited for the day to end. She tried not to fantasize about what she would be doing at five PM but still found herself staring into space several times, caught in a reverie about the hardness of Kelly’s body or the softness of his mouth. She felt herself go weak in the knees as she thought abo
ut the well defined muscles of his lower abdomen, an area which had commanded quite a bit of her attention the previous night while he gasped and moaned and held her head against him. This image caused her to sit down hard on the folding chair in her temporary office and close her eyes.
She had to get a grip. She was behaving almost as wildly as she had in the ballroom the night of Kelly’s award, and that had been an all time low. This knowledge didn’t stop her from fleeing the office as soon as it was decently possible and driving recklessly back to her condo to get ready for Kelly’s arrival. She ordered food delivered and assembled the brown bags on the dining room table. Then she showered and dressed sparely in a skimpy bathrobe and was waiting for him when he came through her door, trying to unbutton his shirt and unbuckle his belt at the same time.
They fell on each other without so much as a greeting and got no further than the Oriental rug in Amanda’s front hall. He ripped off her robe and his pants as she wrestled him into position, climbing on him impatiently and sighing deeply as he drove into her
without preliminary. The only sounds were muted and involuntary until they fell apart in exhaustion. Kelly lay silently next to her, one arm still thrown across her shoulders.
“That was mature, Brendan,” Mandy finally said quietly, as her respiration slowed to a trot. “We should at least have tried to make it to the couch.”
“What’s wrong with the floor?” he asked, pulling one of the wool fibers from the rug out of his hair. “A little scratchy, but serviceable.”
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