by Wendi Darlin
She didn’t look like she was off her rocker. Most likely he’d need to go easy on her, let her tell him all about her husband, and make sure he kept a handkerchief in his pocket. That was the worst part of the job – watching them cry. Especially, he imagined, one as beautiful as the one walking alongside him right now.
“Over there behind the barn is a hot tub, or if you prefer there’s a Jacuzzi in your cabin.”
“Never pictured a hot tub behind a barn before.” Her face contorted, sending one eyebrow higher than the other and carving lines into the smooth skin of her forehead. But it was her mouth that twisted something in his gut. Her full lips had settled into a smirk that plumped them in such a way he couldn’t think of anything but taking them in his, to feel them against his skin, all over him soft and wet. A chill crept down his abdomen and met the flame that had sparked in lower regions. Shit. He needed to get a grip.
“It’d kind of take away the authentic ranch look if we put it out front where everybody could see it, but actually it’s nice back there. Wide open view of the sky and private as long as nobody else decides to use it the same time you do.”
“Where’s the ‘pristine mountain stream?’” Again with the smile. She had relaxed since her bout of nerves at the airport. And her humor did more for him than her temper. Not good.
“Over the first ridge there. Just under an hour on horseback, but don’t worry, we’ll have you riding well enough to make it over there if you want to go.”
“Are you a real cowboy?” she asked.
That was a first. Most women came ready to play the game. They didn’t need anything more than the hat and boots to convince them they’d gotten what they paid for. “Born and raised right here on this ranch,” he said, glad it was true. “Ropin’ steer before I could eat solid food.”
Her smile was ready, a genuine smile, nothing practiced about it. He couldn’t help smiling back. Yes, he was doing a lot of that.
“Here we are.” He stepped onto a narrow porch and up to a door marked ‘Darlin’. “You’re Darlin’. Between Sugar and Honey.”
“Cute.” She glanced around summing up her surroundings, probably getting her bearings.
“We thought so.” Gavin looked for that smile again but it was gone.
Her posture stiffened as he put the key in the door and pushed it open, but she entered without hesitation. Some women actually stood outside until after he left, like they were afraid he would throw them down on the bed and violate them. He had never considered lying in bed with any of them. Rebecca was another story, but he’d definitely never take advantage of any woman. And even if she wanted it as bad as he did, the business had to be put before his johnson. No woman was worth losing his livelihood for. He’d learned that the hard way.
He stowed her bag at the foot of the bed, opened a bottle of Pellegrino and poured it into a glass that he left on the table for her to take when she was ready for it.
“You should find everything you need,” he said, “but, of course, if you want anything at all I’m at your service.”
She studied him for a minute, like she wanted to say something, but didn’t.
“There’s a schedule of events on the night table, here,” he said, moving across the room. “Of course you’re free to pick and choose what you’d like to do. You’re welcome to wander around the ranch, just please avoid the areas that are posted ‘private,’ and we don’t suggest you venture off into the woods by yourself.” He placed the room key in her hand. Something was definitely worrying her. “Most important thing to remember is, I’m all yours.”
Surprise registered on her beautiful features.
“You’re mine?” she asked raising her brows. Color rose to her cheeks and a nervous smile played on her lips. He had been right, her bite at the airport had more to do with nerves than anything else. Something had her scared half to death, and every gene in his body wanted to protect her.
“Yes, ma’am, all yours.” There was more innuendo in his words than he’d intended. He would have felt like an idiot, but her smile grew and a light jumped in her dark eyes that sent a fusion of lust and regret surging through him. Why in the hell couldn’t he have met her at the grocery store?
“Umm.” Her face creased in worry again. “How do I find you?”
“I’ll check on you here every hour. In the morning, I’ll come by after breakfast. Around nine. You can either have that meal delivered to your room or you can come up to the dining hall. You’re not obligated to spend any more time with me than you’d like to. On the other hand, if you don’t want to wait, you can find me at the front desk.” Since when had he told a guest she could come get him? Never. Not once. “Oh, and cowboys are not allowed in guest’s rooms after ten thirty in the evening and all of the facilities close at that time.”
She seemed genuinely uncertain. A good indication she had probably signed on for more than she was ready for. Yep, there’d be tears. Damn. She’d be fine though, once she realized nothing but sweet talk went on at the ranch.
He brushed a thick lock of hair from her shoulder and laid it down on her back. He wasn’t sure why he did it. He definitely wasn’t required to touch the guests any more than necessary and her hair had been perfectly fine right where it was. Her shoulder was nice though. Her naked skin fueled his imagination and threatened to pool more blood than he needed below the belt.
He looked up to find she had caught him again, and a look of amusement had replaced the worry on her face.
“I’ll give you a chance to settle in,” he said. This is where he would customarily take his leave, but he hesitated. Again, he wasn’t sure why. There wasn’t any other reason to stay, but his feet didn’t seem to want to move.
She narrowed her eyes at him then, looking like everything had clicked into place.
“You’re really good at this aren’t you?” she asked.
“Good at what?” Getting turned on by gorgeous women?
“What you do. The cowboy, lover-boy thing.”
“You make my job very easy,” he said. So much for rule number two: Never stop playing the game. Guests don’t want to be reminded that the cowboy’s getting paid to make them feel special. “I better go. Don’t worry though.” He paused with his hand on the doorknob. “I won’t go far. I’ll see you in an hour.” Before he closed the door he added, “And if you have a sweater or jacket, you’ll want to wear it tonight, the temperature drops after the sun goes down.”
“No luggage,” she reminded him.
“I’ll bring you something.”
“You can keep me warm can’t you?” she asked. There was a playful twinkle in her eye. Maybe she wasn’t quite as delicate as he’d imagined. Damn. Damn. Damn.
“Yes ma’am, I can.” He closed the door behind him and took a deep breath before he made his way back to the house. If he had half a brain he’d bow out now, ask Garrett to take care of Rebecca and go do something about what seemed to have become a permanent hard-on.
* * * *
Maybe if she ate more chocolate she wouldn’t masturbate so much. Yeah, right. If she took up residence at the Godiva factory she would end up making chocolate dildos. Rebecca fell back on the bed and stared up at the exposed ceiling beams. She smoothed her hands over the front of her dress. Her panties had gone from damp to in need of a good wringing when Gavin brushed her hair off her shoulder and looked at her like he could’ve eaten her for dinner. He’d be more than a meal himself.
She closed her eyes. The way her mind drew her hot cowboy with nothing but his Stetson, flared the familiar and already raging need between her legs. How people could choose lives of celibacy was beyond her. She was on the verge of losing her mind to constant fantasies and there was no real sex for her anywhere on the radar. Not that she honestly thought she could handle anything real. An imaginary romp with a dreamy cowboy was always welcome though.
Her grief counselor assured her she was fine, but she wasn’t under any delusion this constant consuming need co
uld be healthy. Ignoring it didn’t seem right either. She tugged her dress up her thighs and slipped her hand beneath the silk of her panties. She was so slick and swollen she probably could have gotten herself off just by walking across the room a couple of times. Had a complete stranger ever had that kind of effect on her before? No. Never. Not even Todd when she first met him. God, she needed to start having a sex life with somebody other than herself. But a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do.
* * * *
In the early evening light, Gavin looked showered. His hair was damp. No hat this time, but his jeans made up for it, not too tight but naturally accenting his athletic build. His smile was as ready as ever and he had a thick bundle folded beneath his arm.
“I apologize. This is the best I could come up with. It’s probably still too big.”
HARVARD was embroidered on the well-worn crimson hoodie he offered her.
“Is this yours?” she asked holding the sweatshirt by the shoulders.
“We don’t have any women’s clothes around the house.” He looked genuinely apologetic. “Everything decent I have would swallow you.”
“You don’t mind if I wear it?” Wearing his shirt after imagined sex with him, blurred the line between fantasy and reality enough to bring a genuine smile to her face. This game promised to be even more fun than she expected.
“I don’t mind at all,” he said. “I’m sure it’ll look better on you than it ever did on me.” His voice was sincere, making it very hard to remember he wasn’t treating her any differently than he treated every other guest he had been assigned to.
She slipped his shirt over her head. The soft jersey cotton smelled like him, clean, a touch of mountain air and something softer, like a hint of sandalwood. The warm scent trickled into her chest and raised her body temperature ever so slightly. He lifted her hair out of the hood and let it fall along her back.
“I was right,” he said. “Looks much better on you.”
“Does this mean you’re not planning to keep me warm?” She looked him straight in the eye and added just a hint of challenge to her voice.
“It doesn’t mean that at all,” he said. “You want to go for a walk before dinner?”
Outside, the sky was filled with stars, and the nearly full moon shed more than enough light to guide them.
“There’s a trail back here,” he said, motioning toward a patch of towering trees in an otherwise open meadow. “It’s not much as far as hiking goes, more for strolling.” He draped his arm around her waist as they walked past the barn. The weight of his body against hers sent another surge of heat through her. He felt even better wrapped around her than she’d imagined.
“Do cowboys stroll?”
“Only if a pretty lady wants them to.” He pulled her closer. “Do you want me to?”
“Is that line straight from the Fantasy Cowboy Handbook or did you come up with it on your own?” She put her arm around his waist, enjoying the movement of his body beneath her hand.
“Who do you think wrote the handbook?”
“There’s not seriously a handbook?” She couldn’t keep the laughter from her voice.
“There is.” He squeezed her playfully. “My brother wrote most of it. The other guys have to use it, but I prefer to wing it. And I’m not supposed to be talking to you about that or any of our other trade secrets. You’re supposed to be falling in love, remember.”
“I think lust is all I can manage.”
His brow creased. A question formed in his eyes, a question she didn’t have any intention of answering. The man she married owned her heart, and his absence didn’t leave a vacancy. Lust would work just fine. Although, she wasn’t managing the lust nearly as much as it was managing her. And if she didn’t get a firm hold on something besides Gavin’s oblique she’d be back in bed with him again soon. Very soon.
The trail led them into the trees where candlelight danced in wrought-iron casings along the path, lending a resort-like feel to the otherwise natural landscape.
“Okay,” she said, speaking before he could. “Tell me something about yourself that’s not in the handbook.”
“I prefer running and horseback riding to strolling,” he said. “Sometimes I even do a little rock climbing. What about you, are you a stroller?”
“Only when a hot cowboy asks me to,” she joked and earned herself another of his infectious smiles. All she had to do was keep the conversation flowing, keep things light and breezy, enjoy his company and have a good time. She had no intention of getting bogged down in the loneliness she carried around with her at home. This was a vacation, a reprieve. “I used to kayak and mountain bike a lot,” she said. “I tried rock climbing once. But it’s been a while.” A chill crept up her arms and she shivered.
Gavin responded by tucking her in closer to his side. “How long’s it been?”
“Over a year.” The memories flooded back before she could stop them. She and Todd had spent almost every weekend outdoors, playing until they were physically exhausted and then making love until they collapsed in one another’s arms. She hadn’t done anything adventurous since he died. Until this week. And she could only imagine that he would laugh about where she was right now. If he couldn’t comfort her, he’d want someone to. He was secure like that, and she had loved him for it. Insecure men usually had a reason to be.
“Maybe we can squeeze a little rock climbing in if you’re up for it,” Gavin said, interrupting her thoughts, forcing her out of the past, bringing her back to the fantasy.
An outing with a rock-climbing cowboy would kick the old imagination into second gear. Imaginary outdoor sex. This vacation was getting better by the minute.
“I’m definitely up for it,” Rebecca said, unable to hide her grin, “but I didn’t see that on the schedule.”
“I’ll toss it in. A complimentary outing for having to wear my old college sweatshirt.”
The trail turned and the grade of the land rose. They were already headed back. Much too soon.
“Did you go to Harvard?” she asked.
“Undergraduate and graduate.”
Her bullshit meter hadn’t gone off yet, and it had a pretty sensitive trigger. He had to be one hell of an actor. A genuinely nice guy with brains underneath a frame as gorgeous as his was too much, even for a fantasy. If he wasn’t lying, there was something about him that hadn’t come out yet. Something that would explain why a man like him only let women pretend to fall in love.
“What are you doing here? I mean…no offense.” She squeezed his side. The dense muscle beneath her hand would give her plenty to think about later. “You seem very good at your job and you definitely look the part, but after Harvard, why this?”
“It’s home. My brother needed my help and I needed a career change.”
His reasoning sounded feasible enough, even if the ‘career change’ bordered on evasive. Either way she really didn’t want to believe he was a liar. That would ruin all the fantasies she had plans for him starring in. There was no room in her bed for dishonest men. No matter how good they looked.
Just before the trees opened onto the meadow again, he guided her over a thick root that lay across the path.
“The ladies don’t have anything to do with why you’re here?” she asked.
“This isn’t my personal dating service,” he said, stepping into the open field. “Even if I chose to use the ranch to spice up my personal life, most of the women who come through here aren’t my type.”
The wind picked up, bending the grasses. Rebecca swept her flyaway hair behind her ears and stopped to twist and knot it behind her head. She reached up to tuck a strand of Gavin’s hair out of his eyes. His hair was a little longer than she usually went for, but it worked for him. Did it ever. The longest strands hung to his chin and she could imagine how it would fall forward when he was lying above her, brushing her cheek before his lips touched hers. Those lips were something else to dream about, full and curled into a wide smile. Her
gaze rose to meet his again.
“What are you thinking?” His voice had a huskiness she hadn’t heard in it before, a tone that entered her ears and exited much lower on a tide of liquid heat. His gaze bounced around her face like he couldn’t decide where to focus and his chest moved beneath her hand. She stared at her fingers, not remembering how her hand had come to be there. It must have fallen on its own after she moved his hair, driven by her subconscious, no doubt. Her breath matched his and as he moved closer she stopped breathing altogether.
“Are you going to tell me what you’re thinking or are you keeping that secretive little smile to yourself?” he asked.
“I was thinking about what it would be like to make love to you,” she whispered.
Enough heat passed between them to edge the polar bears a little closer to extinction.
“That’s not going to happen.” He brushed his knuckles along her cheek.
“I don’t really want it to,” she said, loving the feel of his touch, wanting to roam his body with her hands, to feel a man who lived beyond the boundaries of her mind. “I just want to think about what it would be like. You don’t mind do you?”
He laughed softly. “I definitely don’t mind. Anything else I can do for you?”
“Be honest with me. I know that’s not how this game is played, but it’s the way I have to play it. No lies about anything. Don’t even give me an empty compliment.” She ran her finger along his bottom lip, indulging herself. He didn’t seem to mind. “Can you do that? Can I believe everything that passes through this sexy mouth?”
“I can do that.” He caught her finger between his teeth and brushed the tip of it with his tongue before she moaned and pulled it away. “If that’s what you really want,” he added. “But it won’t make much of a fantasy.”
“It’s what I need.” She smiled. “Among other things. But now it’s time to talk about something else.” If she didn’t change the subject she was going to have to change her underwear and thanks to airline incompetence she only had one more pair.
