by Lulu Pratt
I think I hear a knock at the door, but I decide that I am just imagining it. Blake would not be coming to talk to me. Odds are, he will avoid me for the rest of the pregnancy and then kick me out the moment the baby is born.
There’s another knock. It’s louder this time.
“Yes?” I call. Perhaps it is Christina coming in to ask me to leave. I do my best to hide the sound of crying as I pull my face from the pillow.
“Carrie, it’s me. Can I come in?” It’s Blake.
I sit up quickly and do the best I can to wipe away my tears and make it look as if I haven’t spent the last twelve hours bawling out my eyes.
“Sure,” I call back. “Come in.”
He opens the door and walks inside. He looks at me, and I can see the pain on his face. It makes my heart skip a little, the idea that this hasn’t been as easy for him as I thought. Clearly, he too has been hurting.
“How are you?” He asks, his voice soft. He walks further into the room and hovers by the end of my bed.
“Miserable,” I say. “How about you?”
“Yeah, I’ve been better.”
“Me too,” I say as I force a smile. “A lot better.”
“Carrie, may I sit down?” He asks.
“Of course.”
He sits down on the edge of the bed, keeping his distance. “I’m sorry. I am. I should never have reacted like that last night, and I should have never made you leave the room. And I definitely shouldn’t have implied that you and I were over.”
“You’re sorry?” I ask, unable to hide my surprise. “I’m the one who should be saying sorry. I’m the one who lied and meant to hurt you.”
“Hey,” he says, and as he does, he puts his hand on my knee. “Don’t, okay. You had your reasons for doing that. And talking about it now isn’t going to change that. But you also said, if I remember correctly, that you changed your mind?”
“I did! I have!” I exclaim. “Seriously. You have no idea how stupid I feel for even thinking of doing that.”
“Hey. What did I just say?” He smiles at me. It’s a warm smile, and I can feel it radiate through my entire body. It gives me energy and life. “We don’t need to talk about it anymore. It’s not important. The only thing that is important is that I love you.”
“You love me?” I ask. I heard the words, but I am scared that I misunderstood. Or that it is a lie, aimed at hurting me.
“Yes, I love you.”
“I love you, too,” I say, resting my hand on top of his own.
For a second, the two of us stare at one another. I look into his eyes, and he into mine. I feel him inside of me. I can feel his love enveloping me.
He leans forward. I lean in too and kiss him. It’s a kiss like I have never felt. We have kissed a thousand times. We have had sex almost as many times. We have even made love before. But somehow, this kiss is different.
It’s raw and full of fire. It is both of us saying that we are sorry and both of us accepting that apology.
We kiss and kiss. His hands wrap around my waist and pull me in closer. I shuffle in and wrap my legs around him, straddling him. I press my breasts against his chest and feel his heart beat a million times a minute. I feel his warm breath on me as he kissed down my neck, licks my ear and nibbles me.
His cock stirs beneath me, pressing up between my legs. I move my hips forward and back, rubbing myself on it. It shakes and pulsates with each of my movements.
Raising my hands in the air, I allow for him to remove my shirt. I’m in my pajamas, so I don’t have a bra on. He buries his head in my breasts. He licks my right nipple before sucking the tight bud into his mouth. I undo his shirt and return the favor to him. His right nipple hardens in my mouth. His left stiffens as I pinch it.
His hands are still wrapped around my ass, and he begins to help me grind. Back and forth, I rub myself on him. His dick is so hard. It wants to be free. I move my hand down to his cock and give it a squeeze through his khakis. I unfasten them, and his cock bursts forth.
My hand wraps around the head, stroking it. He groans as I do. I lick my hand and wrap it around his shaft. Up and down, I move my hand. Up and down. He falls onto his back, and I remove his pants. I move both my hands around his thick length. I stroke him. I rub his balls and play with his shaft.
He suddenly sits up, lifts me into the air and lays me down. I raise my ass and allow for him to remove my pajama pants and panties. He takes both my legs and rests them on his shoulders. My breathing increases as I brace myself for what is about to come.
Soft kisses cascade their way down my thighs. They’re wet and give me goosebumps. I shudder with each one, and my body shakes as his lips get closer and closer to my aching core. He pauses just above it. I can feel the hot air dancing off it.
He looks up at me. Our eyes meet. He smiles, and I return it. And he goes down on me.
I moan as his tongue pushes between my lips. I groan as he licks inside of me. I scream as his lips wrap around my clit and sucks. It feels incredible. He sucks and licks, and I scream and moan. I run my hands through his hair, holding him in place. I don’t want him to stop.
But he does. He lifts his head and smiles at me again. He moves himself up to me, leaving me on my back. His hard cock brushes along my leg as he gets closer. He reaches me, and we kiss deeply. His body is pressed against mine, and I can feel him breathing.
He looks me deep in the eyes, holding my stare. “I love you,” he says.
“I love you, too.”
He penetrates me, and I throw my head back and let out a scream. He slides all the way into me, up to the hilt. His hands wrap around my thighs and pull me in. I wrap my legs around him and hold myself there.
And we make love.
It’s slow and intimate. It’s tender and passionate. It’s soft and caring. And it feels perfect.
He holds my eyes as he continues to penetrate me. I don’t blink. I stare into them, into his soul. The sex is incredible. The love making is out of this world. I pull my eyes from his to kiss him deeply, but then fall back and continue to stare.
We come together. We don’t say a word or signal that we are ready. I feel myself coming, and as I do, I feel him coming inside of me. Together, the two of us climax and scream and moan and kiss some more.
Blake rolls from me, heavily out of breath. I snuggle up to him, wrapping myself in his arms. I kiss him on the chest and on the neck. He kisses me on the forehead. I love Blake, and I swear to myself now I will never question his love again.
Chapter 47
BLAKE
The sun shines in my eyes as I blink myself awake. It takes me a second to realize where I am. I’m certainly not in my own bedroom. I look to my side and smile when I see Carrie, laying there, sleeping peacefully.
Yesterday was amazing. Not just the sex, either. But the fact that we made up. The fact that we have both told each other how we feel. There are no more secrets, no more hiding. From here on out, it will be smooth sailing.
As I lay in bed watching Carrie sleep, I suddenly realize that it was only lunch time the previous day that the two of us made up. That means that we slept for eighteen hours. I was tired from the previous night, having been up the whole time thinking about Carrie. Clearly, she had been in the same boat.
My stomach lets off a roar, as if deciding to remind me that it exists and needs sustenance. I am sure that Carrie will be the same. In fact, as she is with child, there is every chance that she will be absolutely famished when she wakes.
I smile to myself as I come up with an idea.
Very slowly, I slide out of bed. And as quietly as I can, I cross the room, open the door, and exit, leaving Carrie to sleep.
I make my way downstairs. It’s a Sunday, so the chefs aren’t in the house. I’m glad of that. This will give me an excuse to surprise Carrie all on my own.
I’m actually a pretty good cook and used to love doing it back when I was young and broke. But as I’m always busy now and I have the mone
y, I have someone do it for me. But not today.
I am going to make Carrie breakfast, a delicious gesture to show her how much she means to me.
*
I’ve been going at it for about forty-five minutes. I’m making her a traditional English breakfast, with a few surprises. These include muffins, a fruit platter and smoked salmon with rye bread. Breakfast will be ready in less than a minute. I don’t relish the idea of having to wake up Carrie, but hopefully, she forgives me when she sees what is waiting.
“Hey, handsome,” Carrie says from the doorway. I look up and smile when I see her. Talk about perfect timing. The two of us really are simpatico. “What have you got for me?”
“Just a little of this and that,” I say.
“Hopefully, more of this than that.” She leans around me and plucks a muffin off the tray.
“Hey!” I laugh. “Don’t disturb the chef. It will be ready in one minute. Go make yourself comfortable, and I’ll bring it out.”
She kisses me on the cheek and skips from the kitchen, laughing the whole way.
True to my word, the meal is ready a minute later. I carry it out, all balanced on a large tray and serve it up to the eagerly waiting Carrie. Once she has hers, I serve my own plate and take a seat opposite her.
“So, what now?” She asks as she bites into a piece of salmon.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “It’s a Sunday and it’s like seven, so we have all day to do whatever.”
“No, you misunderstand me. I don’t mean today. I mean, from now on. Where do we go from here?” She smiles at me.
“Oh, the big life questions?”
“Exactly.”
I smile at the question. I love that she is thinking of the big picture. That she sees herself as being with me, after the baby.
“Well, first, I think we need to concentrate on the baby. After that, I’m open to suggestions. Oh, and we definitely need to look into breaking your lease and ditching that apartment you call a home.”
“What? Why?”
“Well, if you live here, there’s really no need to have that place. It’s just money wasted. I suppose we could use it as a summer home, but I think we can do a little better than that.”
“You want me to move in here? Permanently?” There is clear disbelief on her face.
“Oh, sorry, did I not mention that? Of course, I do. Only if you want to, though.”
She looks at me, and I can see her mind working to come up with a witty response. But she isn’t able. Instead, she suddenly throws down her fork, leaps from her chair, runs around the table, and throws herself on my lap.
“So, I take that as I yes?” I laugh.
“If that’s how you choose to read it,” she says, shrugging. “I just needed a place to sit.”
I kiss her as I laugh, and she kisses me, also laughing. It’s a perfect Sunday morning, and I am really getting into being in love.
Chapter 48
CARRIE
The sun is shining on my face, and I have to blink myself awake. It takes a few seconds for me to realize where I am, but then I feel him, underneath me. It’s Blake’s breathing that woke me, not the sun. I’m sitting on his lap and his rhythmic breath, up and down, up and down, rocked me awake.
After we ate breakfast, the two of us made love again. It was deep and passionate, like the day before. And as we did, I rode him from the front so I could look him in the eyes the entire time. We never once broke eye contact, and as we came, we did it together.
But after that, we both felt a little worn out, hence the nap. Now, as I sit in Blake’s lap, I never want to move. The only thing that is making me even consider it is the idea that this is now my home and that I get to spend the rest of my life with him.
Very slowly, I climb from his lap, making sure not to wake him. Once up, I walk around the house, taking it all in. I have walked through this house a hundred times before, but never like this. It used to always be as a stranger, knowing that one day, I would have to go home. This time, though, I see the house in a whole new light.
I look over the walls and floor. I look at the decorations, the paintings and wall hangings he has. Some I like. Some I don’t. The entire house is in need of a makeover to change it from a bachelor pad to a family home. As soon as possible, too.
It’s as this thought hits me that I suddenly get an interesting idea. I bite my lip as I ponder it, wondering if it’s too early or not. A part of me knows that I should wait, at least a few days, but another part wants to start straight away.
Making up my mind, I hurry across the house to Blake. A little too excited now, I shake him awake.
“What?” He asks as he sits up, wiping his eyes. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?”
I don’t respond. Instead, I look down at him with a wicked smile.
*
“Are you sure you want to do this today?” He asks me, glancing away from the road for a second and looking into my eyes.
“I want to do this last week,” I say back. “So really, I’m running terribly late.”
The two of us are on our way to my old apartment so I can get the rest of my things and leave that life behind.
When he asked me to move in with him, or told me that I was, I could not believe it. A part of me still can’t. Maybe that’s why I’m so excited to get started on the move right away? When you want to start spending the rest of your life with someone, you want that to start as soon as possible.
“Okay, but my Aston Martin can only take so much.”
“Then we’ll just throw out whatever doesn’t fit,” I say quickly.
“Really?”
“I don’t think I can emphasize how serious I am being.”
He smiles and nods, keeping his eyes on the road. I reach across the car and stroke his face. As I do, he takes my hand, and kisses it. He is mine, and I am his.
*
“So, all of this, we’re throwing out?” He asks.
Piled in the middle of my apartment are stacks and stacks of my old things. There are clothes I never wear anymore, cutlery, crockery and other kitchen utensils I don’t need, and other bits and pieces I uncovered that I had forgotten I even owned. Essentially, it is all disposable.
“All of it,” I say.
I’ve already packed the car full of everything else that I need, and honestly, there isn’t that much of it. Most of the stuff that I do own and want is already at his, our, house. The rest is a remnant from a past life that I am eager to forget.
“Okay, so should I light them on fire here, or should I carry it outside? That way we can have a bonfire and dance around it while it burns?”
“Or option three. We can call someone to come and throw it out for us?” I suggest, trying not to laugh.
“Well, it’s not as fun, but it’s definitely more efficient.”
“Come on.” I walk across the apartment and scoop up a small box on the floor. “Let’s go.”
“Goodbye, apartment,” Blake says as he walks to the front door. “You won’t be missed.”
He walks out first, and I follow him. As I turn to close the door behind myself, I pause and look back into the small apartment that I once called my home. It’s funny, but I used to not mind this place, apart from how small it was. It was never impressive or grand, but it was my home, and for that, I loved it.
But now that I look at it, I see it for what it is. Cold, small and run down. Not the kind of place that anyone should have to live in. But I smile to myself when this realization hits me. The fact that although I once lived here, I no longer do. It’s a representation of my old life, of the person I used to be.
“Are you coming?” I hear Blake call from the car.
I take one final look inside the apartment, shaking my head as I close and lock the door. That part of my life is over. I walk down the sidewalk, seeing my man leaning against the car. He smiles and waves, and I smile and wave back. He is my new life, and I can’t wait for it to begin.
; Epilogue
Six Years Later
CARRIE
“Are you doing okay?” Blake asks as he drives. He isn’t looking at me, but straight ahead at the road.
“Yeah, I’m fine. No. Better than that. I’m doing great.” There is a quiver in my voice, and even I don’t believe the words I am saying.
“Ah, I wasn’t asking you,” he says, smirking. “I was asking Ben.”
He glances into the back seat where our son, Ben, sits. Ben is five years old and, in my opinion at least, gets more gorgeous every single day. Like his father, he has all dark features, and his breathtaking blue eyes. I just know that when he grows up, he is going to rival his father in the looks department, too. But he has my smile.
“Oh, right,” I say, and I shake my head. “Of course. How are you doing back there, hon?” I lean back to look at him. “Everything is fine?”
“Yes, Mommy,” he says, and he giggles. “I’m excited!” He looks it, too.
I’m a nervous wreck and have been all morning. Well, I have been all week really. It’s Ben’s first day of kindergarten, and Blake and I are taking him there together. I try to tell myself that this is all part of the process and is actually a good thing, but I’m still having a hard time coping.
I just can’t believe how quickly time passes. It seems like only yesterday that I was at that reunion. That I dropped those glasses, and Blake bent down to help me clean up. I still remember looking into his deep-set eyes and getting lost in them. I still remember how nervous I felt when I saw him, and how I couldn’t believe it when he asked me out.
It all felt like a dream. And to be honest, sometimes as I lay awake at night and watch him sleep, I pinch myself, just in case.
“And you, too?” Blake asks. He reaches across the car, takes my hand, and kisses it as he always does when he wants to make sure I am doing okay. “You’re fine?”
“Yes,” I say. This time, I sound more convincing. “Of course, I am.” I glance in the rearview mirror, catching Ben’s eyes. He giggles and I smile. I still can’t believe how lucky I am.
