She tilted her head sideways. The limp rodent didn’t look any more appealing. She closed her eyes and sniffed it. Cold, wet fur and a faint stench of death met her nose. It didn’t smell appealing, either. Ember sunk her teeth into its side. Her mind teleported her back to the moment she’d clamped her jaws around Whitehaze’s throat. She spat it out and stumbled backward, panting. Overhead, the harsh morning sun reflected off of the snow, making everything look white. She closed her eyes. Spots flickered in her vision. Sky blue flashed in her head. She bit her tongue and tried force herself to calm down.
“What’s wrong? Does it taste diseased? Or is there something else bothering you?” Bracken asked.
He stepped closer but didn’t touch her. Ember shivered uncontrollably. ‘What is wrong with me? I’m starving and I still can’t eat? Why is this so hard?’
“Ember,” Bracken pressed.
She glanced at Hyrees for help, but he was curled up and sleeping beneath a nearby ledge.
“I don’t . . . know,” she whispered.
“Yes you do,” he said. “You know, sometimes telling someone about what’s bothering you puts things in perspective. Reminds you what really matters and what doesn’t.”
His tail twitched in distracting rhythm, making Ember want to pounce on it to make it stop.
“I don’t even know you. You’re nice, but I don’t trust you with my problems yet. If I need to talk, I’ll talk to Hyrees.”
“You want to talk, but he’s not awake to listen.”
She snorted. “Actually, I don’t want to talk to anyone right now. Except my family. My non-Hyrees family. Now please, leave me alone.”
“Why wouldn’t you want to talk with your mate?”
Ember wrinkled the bridge of her muzzle. The hot pinks of disgust flared in her mind, making her entire body feel uncomfortably warm. The shivering subsided. “I wish everyone would stop calling him that.”
“Why?”
She stepped back. “What does it matter to you? Will you stop, please? Look, I know what can be done just knowing the right things about someone, and I’m not giving you the chance to do those things to me. So leave me alone.”
He tilted his head. “You know, coggie, there is such a thing as just wanting to help. Not everyone is out to get you. The very same things someone can use to destroy you can also be used to build you up.”
Sparks flared inside of her. ‘That’s true, but what does he want from me? Possibly my ETAg. He only offered to help after he heard what I could do with it. Well, you aren’t getting it, no matter how indebted you make us. I never asked for your help. Except for with hunting. I did ask for help with that. So maybe I’ll give you one favor.’
“Thanks, but I’ll, uhm, I’ll do my own building up,” she said.
Ember walked back over to the squirrel. It seemed a lot more inviting with the rare cerulean blues of defiance showing themselves in her mind. It was defiance toward Bracken, defiance toward her former colony, defiance toward death itself. She went back to eating, this time shoving out all thoughts of anyone from the West. Part of her wondered what it would be like to give up and let herself be taken by the snow, but the rest of her just wanted to be back at home, cuddled up with her family. Until they came, selfishness could keep her alive.
“Ah! And there he is,” Bracken mewed.
Ember looked up from her squirrel. Eclan pounced through the gorge toward them.
Her stomach twisted into a knot. ‘He’s alone. Why is he alone? Wait, what if he didn’t actually go to the West at all and just makes up some lie so I think he did? Tahg, I hate rogues.’
“Where are they?” she asked when he was within conversation distance.
“I’m afraid they’re still in the West. Lupine ’n a bunch of others caught them and had one of your sister’s legs disabled. They ain’t coming. Least not for a while.”
Cyan slithered in, venomous as a rattlesnake, causing her heart to palpitate. She tried to shake it off, but it only grew stronger. “H-how do I know you’re telling the truth?”
He smiled coldly. “I s’pose you’ll have to trust me. Oh, and I spoke with Cloud, too. He said to remember what he told you, to not come back, and that he loves you and hopes you find your place out here. Things aren’t looking so good in the Highlands, are they?”
She felt like crying again but no tears came. She didn’t want to cry anymore. ‘He’s telling the truth, isn’t he? They really aren’t coming. Kivy, what did they do to you? Wait, what do I do now? I have to make my own decisions, and my decision-making skills have been lacking lately. Well, I can’t go back, but I can’t just abandon them, either. Maybe we can convince Jade to not attack anymore. Then we’ll have saved them, and even if I don’t ever see them again, I’ll know they’re safe. It’s worth a try, at least. Then, if it doesn’t work, we can go with Bracken.’
“Ember, hey, listen coggie; are you okay?” Bracken asked.
Ember shook herself off. “Y-yeah, I’m fine.”
“Are you sure about that?”
A strong breeze blew over the top of the gorge. Snow fell down from the ledge above them, making it appear to snow again. A few birds chirped and sang their morning songs.
Bracken looked at his paws. “Do you want to wake Hyrees up to discuss what you two will do next?”
“I already know what we’re doing next. We’re going to the East to stop a war.”
He stepped backward, eyes wide. “Oh? Are you sure you want to get involved in this all over again? Down here, you can choose not to fight. You can live whatever kind of life you wish, and yet, you want to go back to the colonies? I mean, I don’t mean to sound harsh, but I’m not sure there’s much a young cat like you can do to stop this. Colony cats are stubborn. They aren’t accepting of cats like us, and they don’t change. They may well kill you.”
She twitched her tail intentionally out of sync with Bracken’s. “Eclan can get me—uhm, us—in. Can’t you? You do stuff for Jade, right? She trusts you.”
Eclan snorted. “You could say that. But who says I’m helping you? I’ve already got eight questions. I’d say that’s enough for now.”
“Oh come now, Eclan,” Bracken said. “She wants to try to stop a war, and I can see I won’t be able to stop her, so we might as well help her out. Even if it’s an impossible goal, it is certainly a noble one. If you lead them both to the East, I’ll tell you where to get some fine smoke-dried mint when you return. Do we have a deal, my friend?”
Eclan smirked. “Better be the good stuff.”
“Only the best.”
Ember tilted her head. Bracken smiled at her, gentle and warm. The expression reminded her of her parents and filled her mind with maple-leaf orange.
‘Maybe he really does just want to help. I’m still not going to share all my problems with him, but so far he hasn’t asked anything of me, other than offering to take me to that group he keeps bringing up, and even then, it’s just an offer, not a demand. To think we call outsiders the uncivilized ones. He’s been nicer to me in two days than most of the colony has in almost two years. Hum.’ She looked down at her snow-covered paws. ‘That’s kind of sad.’
“Well? You gonna go wake him up, kitten? If you wanna make it there by sunset, we gotta move,” Eclan said.
“Oh? Oh. Okay, yes, I should. So you are taking us?” she asked.
“An easy, all but risk-free job escorting two kittens to the East in exchange for mint? Why wouldn’t I? Besides, I need to check in with Jade.” He stretched out, then sniffed a few times. “She’s probably got a job or two for me by now, anyway.”
Ember walked over to Hyrees. She pawed at his side. “Come on. Wake up. It’s time to go.”
He snorted and jerked awake. “What? Huh? Go where? Where are we going? I don’t, uh, I don’t see your parents.”
“That’s because they aren’t coming. Now get up. We’re going to the East.”
The eerie calmness of her own voice sent a tiny shiver up her spine.
He got to his paws, then shook himself off, flinging snow in every direction. “Okay, I’m sorry, I must’ve still been half asleep, because I thought I heard you say we were going to the East.”
“That’s because I did. Come on. We have to get going. I’ll explain on the way.”
“Am I still asleep?”
“Probably not.”
He flicked back his ears, trail thrashing like a snake. “So when was this discussed with me?”
“It wasn’t.” She nudged him forward. “Come on.”
“What? Em, you can’t just make decisions like that without me. We’re a team, remember? We have to talk it over.”
“A team, huh?” she growled. It came out louder than she’d intended and hurt her ears, but she couldn’t bring herself to apologize. She paused for a moment to get her thoughts together. “Are we, though? Are we really? Because you said that, whenever I was safe, you were going to die. Where was I when you decided that? If you really are going to kill yourself, I’m the only one here with any kind of future. I get to decide where we go, and I’ve decided we’re going to the East, and we’re going to try to stop this war. You can come with me, and make sure I get there safely, or you can stay here and freeze. Your choice. Bye.”
Hyrees stepped back. Ember padded up to where Eclan waited. Eclan gave her a squinty look.
‘I should say I’m sorry, but I think it’d probably be a lie. Hyrees, why can’t you get yourself together? It’s not easy figuring out what to say, and it makes me feel all pink inside having to yell at you like that.’
She closed her eyes, trying to fight back the beginnings of a headache. “Lead the way, sir.”
Eclan chuckled. “You sure tell it like it is, don’t you, kitten?”
“I don’t have time to deal with him. My family can still be saved, and that’s what’s important right now.”
“But . . . I’m your family too, Em. Right?” Hyrees asked. He slunk out from beneath the ledge, head and tail drooping.
She turned to face him. He looked back at her, small, thin, weak, blind, and all but defenseless. It made her chest ache as she realized how much damage he’d done to himself over the past mooncycle. The Hyrees she’d grown up with was almost dead, and this stranger of a tomcat was trying to kill him. “Yes, and I want to save you too, but I can only save you if you want to be saved, and you aren’t making it any easier on me. So are you coming?”
He sighed. “Yes. I’m coming.”
The cyan released its grip, sending her a gentle flood of relief. “Oh, good, it worked. You’re a better speaker than I am, so for my plan to succeed, I kind of still need you. Let’s go save the Valley.”
He smiled and shook his head. “You rogue. I guess we’ll go save the Valley, then.”
Ember’s heart pounded with determination. Bright, misty orange created a fall forest of hope and renewed energy. She allowed herself to imagine Dark’s Valley as it had once been: a place of peace without even the threat of war. It could see another era of prosperity brought about by their own minds, mouths, and paws. Things could go back to being as normal as they could be for everyone but them, and they would go on to be legends. At least they would in her fantasy. She knew deep down that they’d more likely disappear from colony history altogether once their work was done.
“Oh, Ember, one last word of advice before you go,” Bracken said. “Suggest to Jade that she send an ambassador to the West. A cat she trusts, a few guards, and valuable gifts. The ambassador can work out a new peace treaty. Then both colonies will know the war is over. Or perhaps you already have a plan.”
“Well, I mean, I do, but it’s really loose right now. I think I might do that. Or Hyrees might. I’m not very good at that kind of thing. First things first, we’ve gotta convince her we’re not spies. Otherwise she might think the West set up an ambush or something, which, uh, would be ironic, but yeah, thanks. Thank you for everything, Bracken.”
He dipped his head. “Yes, good thinking. That would indeed be bad. And an unfortunate way to die. It’s been a pleasure. Take care, both of you, and when you’re done, please do come join me again. That is, of course, if you don’t end up staying in the East. I’d imagine Jade would want the kind of power you’re capable of giving her. Don’t let anyone trap you, Ember. The one at the top should always have more freedom. And less. You’re above them all. Remember that.”
Ember leaned away from him and bit her tongue. The silver came back. “Uhm . . . okay. Uh, yeah. See you later, maybe?”
Hyrees pawed at her side, stretching awkwardly to avoid the bionic skin coating her shoulder pieces. “Are we going, or what?”
She focused her attention on Hyrees, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t bring back the orange he so often evoked. Instead she made herself imagine the color. “Yes. Yep. We’re going. Lead the way, Eclan. Take us to our enemies.”
As they padded up the slope leading out of the gorge, Bracken yowled, “Farewell, my friends.”
Ember tried her best to ignore him. She didn’t want to make the walk away last any longer than it needed to.
“Take us to our enemies?” Hyrees asked as they re-entered the forest. “Oh yeah, that’s right. Our colonies are at war, so she might actually kill us. What if we make things worse? Why don’t we just go back and let Bracken take us to this group of his? Because they are not going to kill you. Just saying.”
“For someone who wants to die, you sure are afraid of dying.”
“I’m afraid of you dying and me having to watch.”
“Look, we’ve already lost everything. All we have left to lose is our lives, but we could gain so much if we take some risks. We could gain my family’s freedom. If Bracken’s plan works, there might even be meetings again. Things really could go back to normal, and we could—well, sort of . . . Never mind. I’m rambling and no one cares.”
Hyrees sighed and lowered his head. After a few moments of silence, he turned to look in her direction, eyes unfocused. “No, I do care, I’m just not always the best at expressing it. I love you, Ember. I haven’t said it nearly as much as I’ve been meaning to, and I’m sorry about that. This is what matters right now, and I’m the one who should be quiet.”
Ember paused for a moment. The orange still refused to return to her mind. Hyrees and Eclan kept walking, ignoring her hesitation. Ember shook her head and returned to Hyrees’s side. “Yeah,” she said, voice barely louder than a whisper. “I love you too.”
For a while, no one spoke. At midday, they stopped for a hunting break. Eclan caught a mouse, but Ember and Hyrees continued onward without a meal. As they walked, she tried to explain her plan. It was difficult enough trying to find the right words, but Hyrees made it even more exhausting of a struggle by asking her questions every few moments, which she then had to come up with replies for on the spot. It didn’t help that most of his questions were about things she had yet to bring up and would have already told him if he hadn’t interrupted.
“But what if something bad happens after we get there, and they blame it on us?” he asked.
Ember growled. ‘What happens if I just stop talking? Will he return the favor?’
“Are you ignoring me?”
‘Guess not. I’ll let you figure that one out, mastermind.’
“Hey, why are you ignoring me? I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?”
An oily smear appeared in her mind’s eye. ‘You’ve answered your own question. I don’t need to. Oh, look, the ground is really starting to slope up. We’re probably on the Eastern Mountain now.’
“Are you even listening to me?”
She looked at him and tilted her head, trying to look like an innocent, naive kitten. One of her front paws hit a patch of ice and slid out from beneath her. Momentum made her other paws slip. She slammed into the hard-packed snow chin first. The impact made her snout burn.
“Ow,” she mumbled.
Hyrees stopped. “Oh! Em, are you okay?”
He nuzzled her ribs as she got up. Ember shook herself off. “Y-yeah, I’m fine. I, uh, I don’t feel like talking anymore.”
Her gaze wandered past Hyrees, through the trees, to land on the faint Western horizon. The warm reds, oranges and yellows of the sunset peered back at her through magnificent blue clouds. The cloud breaks closest to the sun shimmered like gold in a creek, but they shone ten times brighter and a thousand times more massive. The light from it stung her eyes yet was too beautiful to look away from. She blinked furiously in an attempt to get around the pain. It didn’t work, so she turned back to the shadows.
‘I guess you’re just not meant for the light, Ember,’ she thought. ‘Oh well. Distant stars are pretty too.’
“C’mon, kittens, keep moving. We’re getting close. The border’s just up ahead,” Eclan growled.
Her heart thumped against her chest. ‘Already? Tahg, it’s coming.’
She stepped up to join Eclan. The leg that had slipped didn’t respond. She stumbled again. Her prosthetics whirred in protest as she scrambled to find her balance. She caught herself with her undamaged paws a clawlength away from hitting the snow again.
“Okay, what’s going on here?” she mewed. “Leg, what is wrong with you?” She sent a mental signal for it to lift. A few moments later, it obeyed. ‘Ah. Something must’ve gotten pulled loose. Hopefully it can fix itself soon, because I don’t need a limp right now. Can something please go right for once?’
“Whatever’s wrong with it, you’d better get it fixed, because I ain’t staying on the outskirts of the East after nightfall. You might think your colony’s defenses are tough, but the East is on another level entirely,” Eclan said.
“Oi! Who’s out there? You’re dangerously close to Eastern territory, whoever you are, so I suggest you either scram or show yourself,” a voice called.
Wildcat Page 41
