She shook her head. “No, really it’s very kind. Just the day trip will be hard enough to talk Lucinda into.”
“And Simon?”
“He likes to be with me, so whither I goest and so on.”
Randall grinned, his lapis eyes alight. “He really does have the patience of a saint if he can tolerate shopping expeditions.”
“So do you, Randall. You've been very patient and kind throughout all of this. I’m sorry I let the blue devils plague me.”
He waved her compliment away airily. “We all have doubts and fears from time to time. We just need to make sure they don’t get the better of us. Anyway, go tell Lucinda the news. This will probably be her last chance for an outing for some time until her confinement.”
She nodded, and smiled. “I will, and thank you.”
She was about to rush off when he reminded her, “Gabrielle, money.”
She blushed and nodded.
“Do make sure you spend it all. And not too many presents for the children. I know you, you see.” He took out another bag of gold coins.
“Give this to Simon. Divide it up amongst the four of you, you three, and the children. He will make the money go even further, and it will give everyone joy.”
She smiled at him gratefully. “You’re a good man, Randall.”
He sighed and shook his head. “I wish I always had been. But I’m trying. My wife helped save me from a hollow life full of bitter recrimination and regret, and Simon makes me aspire to greater things. And now that I have a few minutes to spare thanks to the wonderful new helpers I have, it’s time for me to work on my watercolors.” He rose and began to stride for the door, pausing only to hand her the money.
His expression was so joyous she gave him a peck on the cheek and turned to leave.
Then she saw Simon standing in the doorway watching them, with the oddest expression on his face.
Chapter Twenty-five
Gabrielle smiled at the sight of Simon, but saw his brows knit.
"Hello, darling. We were just finishing our business.
“Is everything all right?’ he asked, sounding breathless.
“Yes, lovely," she said, nodding. "Randall has set up a shopping spree for us for tomorrow.”
“Oh?” he asked, sounding less than enthusiastic.
She took his hand and led him from the snug study so the Earl could have some privacy to paint his watercolors.
“Yes, the two of us and Lucinda."
"I see."
She looked at him in surprise. "Don’t you want to come?”
He relaxed slightly. “Of course. But what’s the occasion?”
She shrugged one shoulder. “Just to get some things we need, especially for Lucinda now that the baby will be here soon.”
She raised the leather bags and clinked him into his hands. “You’re in charge of the money. We’re to count it, and divide it into four.”
“Why four?”
“Because Randall knows you won’t be able to resist buying all the children a little something because you're such a kind soul. So you need to keep to your budget. We’re going to go out and spend it all exactly as we like for once.”
“It’s really very kind of him. Why would he-”
“He wants to thank us for helping make this a happy home.”
He looked go dour that she forced herself to ask timidly, “You are happy here, aren’t you, Simon?”
He looked at her in surprise and hugged her to him at once. “Yes, yes, of course I am. I just feel, well, a bit uneasy all of a sudden. If I didn’t know better I would say I was jealous seeing you kiss your cousin like that.”
“Oh, really? “ She grinned. Then she saw his earnest expression had not changed one iota. “Simon! You can’t ever possibly think--”
He shook his head. “No, not really. I just want to be enough for you.”
“More than enough!” she insisted, holding him close. “How can you ever doubt it? I can’t even remember what my life was like before I met you. You fill me so completely in every way, I can’t even imagine breathing without you. So come, let’s find Lucinda and tell her the news. I’ll expect you to help me coax her.”
“Whatever you want, mon coeur.”
She put his hand on her left breast. “Just as you are my heart.” Twining her fingers with his, she led him up to the attics to find her sister.
When they arrived, they found her in the midst of a tea party with the children and Clarissa, who despite her protestations that she was needed back in the clinic in London had stayed on for a time to make sure Lucinda was settled.
She had recently been talking about returning to London to help Anthony there again, though Gabrielle had done everything she could to encourage her to remain, at least until the baby was born.
To Gabrielle’s surprise, when she broached the subject of a trip to Bath, Lucinda did not require much convincing. She gave a slow smile and said, “All right, I’ll come.”
Gabrielle shot Simon a look of pure relief, but Clarissa shook her head. "I've been away too long as it is, so if you're going to take her on a little excursion, this is my chance to head back to London."
"But I thought you said you'd stay until—"
"And so I will, but there's still plenty of time. So I'll pop up to Town for a few days, see what needs doin', and perhaps train someone properly to take my place."
"Can’t you just write to Anthony and, well, explain?" Gabrielle asked quietly, fearful that her sister might have a terrible setback if her routine was changed and her attendant left her.
"I'll be happy to come back for the blessed event," Clarissa said with a sincere smile, "but Dr. Herriot has helped me so much, I just don't want to let him down. So give me a couple of weeks, and I'll be back. And I don't mind sayin', I do have a mind to take you up on your offer, and consider this our new home, me and Molly's children. I've lived in London all me life, but who knew I'd like the country so much after all."
"So long as you've been happy here," Gabrielle said softly, with a pointed look.
"Oh yes, everyone has been far more kind than I deserve."
"Impossible," Simon said, taking her hand to kiss it in a most gallant manner, which actually elicted a blush from the worldly former prostitute. "You took risks to help me that more than make up for anything you think you might have been guilty of in your past."
Clarissa sniffed back her tears and said, "Well, I don’t mind sayin' I thought she was mad at the time doin' what she did to help you, but things couldn't have turned out better. We're all happy, and you've helped the Earl weed out two spies right in his own house. Not to mention seein' the back of that wench tormenting the children. It was a good day for all of us when you and Gabrielle crossed paths."
"Amen to that," Gabrielle said with a smile.
"So, if you don't mind taking your sister down for her rest when she's done here, I'm going to go off and pack and find out when the next coach leaves from Bath."
Gabrielle smiled and nodded. "I don't mind at all. Ask Isolde about the traveling from here. I'm sure she will be happy to help you with any arrangements you'd like."
"Thank you. You're all so kind. I won't forget your help."
"We won't forget yours," she said, taking Simon's hand.
"I'll see you later, then." Clarissa gave a little wave, and vanished out the door.
When they had all finished their nursery tea, which Gabrielle made sure was actually supplied with the real thing for the adults, and milk for the children, it was time for their stories and then bed.
The three grown ups tucked the half dozen youngest in, told them the fable of The Fox and The Grapes, and then Gabrielle brought Lucinda back down to her own room.
Gabrielle began to fix her sister’s hair for bed, plaiting it into a thick golden rope down her back. “We'll get some new ribbons tomorrow for both of us, shall we? And you'll need to buy some pretty things for yourself, not just Baby.”
“I will, I prom
ise. I love Bath. Can we go to Sally Lunn’s for tea and cakes?”
“Yes, of course,” she said, helping her get into bed and settle herself.
Gabrielle noted that her sister really was looking remarkably well, and certainly rather, well, round. She thought with a smile that the baby would be there in another few weeks, and they would have a new addition to the Avenel brood. She didn't envy her, for she was loving every minute of her new life with Simon, but perhaps one day not too far off from now….
“You are happy here, aren’t you, Lucinda?” she asked, suddenly feeling selfish for having all she could ever have wished for in a partner to share her life with.
Lucinda gave a child-like yawn. “Of course. All the children are lovely. So many nice people. No bad men.”
Gabrielle felt her eyes fill with tears.
“He won’t find me, will he?” Lucinda asked suddenly in a plaintive tone.
It was Simon, hovering in the doorway waiting for his beloved, who replied, “No, he won’t. Or if he does, it won’t matter. You’ll be safe. I swear it. I promise to protect you and your sister for as long as you both live.”
Lucinda gave a bright smile. “I’m so glad she met you.”
He smiled back at her. “So am I. Thank you for being my sister. I had two, you know, but we lost them in the years after the Revolution. Now I have you and Isolde. And even Bryony.”
Gabrielle stared at him. Here was still more information he had let slip about his past without shrieking in agony. Perhaps he really was getting better at last.
They said good night to Lucinda, and began to head to their own bedroom via the corridor.
As they walked she asked conversationally, “And your parents? Your father was a merchant, was he not?”
“Not always. We were aristos. That’s why we fled. Came to the south coast, Dorset.”
She entered the room, and sat down at her dressing table to begin to get ready for bed. “And you traded wine and cloth?”
Simon nodded. “That’s right. I kept all the books until Napoleon started making things very difficult for us indeed. Then the three of us went to war.”
“When was the last time you saw Georges?” she dared to ask, praying that he would start to scream in searing pain.
He was silent for a moment, but when his answer came, it was quite steady. “At a ball in Brussels in 1815. The war was over. We had won at Waterloo. We went to celebrate. Then nothing.”
She glanced at him over her shoulder. "Nothing?"
Simon shook his head. "As in I don't remember, and I've never heard anything from him since.
“Who told you he was dead?”
He replied through tight lips, “My masters.”
“And you believed them?”
He nodded gravely. “They showed me his body.”
“But they could have been any bodies, couldn’t they?”
“No, we’re special. You’ve seen it yourself. Especially Jason.”
“I don’t under—”
He silenced her with one finger on her lips and looked at her carefully. “I know what you’re trying to do. Please don’t. I don’t want to have another seizure. But even more important, I don’t want to look back. I want to look forward."
"But Simon, your family, the possible danger—"
"My future is here in Somerset with you, Gabrielle," he said firmly. "To dig up the past can only hurt us all. I was lucky enough to have escaped from Bedlam, and I shall thank all the gods and you for it for the rest of my life.
“But I won’t go back. If we ask questions, go poking around in the past, they will find me, and I'll be lucky if they kill me."
Her eyes flew wide in the mirror, and she spun around on the seat to face him. "Lucky? Don't say such things!"
"I mean it, Gabrielle," he insisted, pacing in front of her as she sat on the small velvet stool. "If they tried to take me again, if I were to lose you, I would kill myself. So no purpose can be served by this constant probing, searching and sifting of yours. Unless—” He paused in his pacing to stare at her, a dark shadow passing over his face that she had never seen before.
“Unless what?
“Unless you really don’t trust me at all," he said in a low tone full of dismay. "Unless you really think I might be some kind of monster, or—”
“No, never!” She sighed and shook her head. “The honest truth is that I was hoping you’d have some family somewhere who loved and cared about you.”
He knelt before her, and grasped her hand firmly in both of his own. For a moment her heart gave a little leap, for he looked like a man about to propose marriage.
“They couldn’t possibly love or care for more than you or any of the people here. Just leave it, love, please. If you trust me, then just let it go. Promise me. I’m not going to get you killed, and I’m never ever going back to my old life. So no more probing, I beg of you. Please.”
She gazed at him levelly. “So there’s more you remember, but you’ve not told me?”
“Yes, bits and pieces,” he admitted. “Nothing I want to share.”
“Was your childhood really terrible?” she asked, sliding over on the bench to make room for him to sit, and resting her head against his shoulder once he did so.
He shook his head. “Not before the Revolution. Certainly afterwards. I saw Georges kill a man trying to harm my sister and mother. She died anyway not long afterwards. My mother, that is, and both my sisters too a short time later. Georges became a killer then. He was only eleven. Still a child. It was a terrible thing to see. It changed him forever. And I’ve sent men to their deaths just as assuredly as if I had wielded the sword myself.”
“But it was war! You had no choice! And you did it for love, love of your family,” she protested.
He stood up and began to pace in front of her. “But don't you see, Gabrielle, that’s just it. I did have a choice. The trouble is, I can’t honestly say I wouldn’t do the exact same things all over again, even knowing how it all turned out in the end. Except for the part about being locked in Bedlam, of course." He gave a rueful smile.
“But then if I hadn't been, I never would have met you, and never been here with my new family. So perhaps even with all the suffering, it really was a blessing in disguise.”
“Oh, I’m sure not,” she said, feeling a terrible pang at the thought of everything he had endured at the hands of his puppetmasters before she had finally had the courage to help him.
He kissed her hand tenderly. “Ah, but you all you have to do is gaze at me with those wonderful eye of yours. Bestow upon me that wonderful look of love and devotion. Then I can say it was nearly all worth it. I hated the addiction, and not having any books to read, people to be with, but all the rest—”
She stroked back the thick fall of hair from one eye. “If you want to be more independent and retired from the world, not teach the children, I’m sure we can—”
“No, I do adore it. Of course an aristo would never have been a teacher. Well, only an impoverished aristo. But it’s good, honest work. It feeds and clothes my family, so I’m happy to do it. Plus I adore them. Such lively little minds.”
She moved over to the windowseat now to catch the last rays of the sun before it dipped below the verdant horizon. Then she held out her arms to him.
He came to sit with his head in her lap. She began to run her fingers through his thick ebony hair, massaging his scalp to soothe him. “I hear the Duke of Ellesmere has actually asked if his boys can come over for lessons too.”
He blushed. “That is most gratifying, but I wouldn’t want to upset Jonathan Deveril. He’s a very good man.”
“Yes he is, which is why he wouldn’t be upset if you started teaching them instead. After all, he has a busy parish to run as our vicar, and would most likely appreciate the help.”
"I'll think about it. As I said, I love to help the children, but these are my family. Being tutor to the Duke's sons would be an honor I little dreamed of, but I don
't want to take more time from my family and you than I can help."
She asked quietly after a moment, “Speaking of Jonathan Deveril, do you think we might be able to go to Sunday services some time?”
Madness Page 25
