by Delisa Lynn
“Hello, darlin’,” I said as I smiled, but it was a man’s voice that came through the other end. “Yes, this is Evan… Okay I’m on my way.” I said as I threw my brief case back on my desk. It was a guy named Vin, he said Lila needed me.
I drove as fast as I could to Lila’s place. Once I walked through the door, I saw a young man with an Army hat on. Lila made a mad dash toward me and started sobbing as I pulled her into my arms. She couldn’t get any words out, just sobs.
“Sir, I’m Vin. I’m a buddy of Liam’s. He was in a crash six months ago and they can’t find him. He had given me some things to bring to Lila if he hadn’t returned. I’m sorry I had to be the one to tell her.”
“Thank you for coming, Vin. I won’t leave her alone. If you hear anything else, could you please let us know?” I asked as I shook his hand.
He hugged Lila and left. My girl was a mess, she wouldn’t speak at all. She just cried, I called Brody and Nikki, and then Lila’s parents. Nikki was going to tell The Ellis’s. Brody brought me some clothes over and a pizza. Lila still wouldn’t eat anything. It hurt me so damn bad to have seen her like this. She was like a walking zombie, she stayed curled up in my lap. I made some coffee and she wouldn’t drink it either. So I did exactly as she wanted, I held her in my arms and let her cry for the man she loved, the other man who had everything I wanted.
I awoke to the sound of Lila’s phone. It had been ringing non-stop since last night. I talked to her mom and to her friends. Nikki was flying out today which was Lila’s birthday. I tried to get her to shower and she wouldn’t but she finally talked to her brother Eric. He was hurting as bad as she was, I could hear it in his voice. She had been holding a letter from Liam, but never opened it.
“Come on Lila, you have to take a shower.” I said as I pulled her off the couch. She was still in the same clothes she had on yesterday and her hair was in a very messy bun on top of her head, she had tear stains on her face.
“No,” is all she said as she curled up in a small ball on her couch. She had a blanket wrapped around her and a pillow that she had been crying into. I don’t think she has left the couch since Vin left.
I looked at Brody and he knew what I wanted, he went into the bathroom and started the shower for me. I picked Lila up and threw her over my shoulder. She didn’t say a word until she noticed what my plans were. I stood her up in the shower and the water hit her face and she let out a scream, and the tears started pouring out again.
“What the fuck are you doing?” she cried. I felt bad for standing her in there fully clothed. But it had to be done.
“You need to shower, now you do it or I will.” I said as I started to undress her. She still beautiful even in the mess she was in. I stepped in the shower with all my clothes on.
“No, I’m not. Leave me alone, Evan. Just fucking leave, I don’t need you here! I don’t need anyone, I don’t want to take a shower, nor do I need your goddamn pity. GO… Now just leave me alone. I’m a big girl and can take care of my damn self, no need for a babysitter. So take your friend and all your shit and get the fuck out of my place.” She said as she pounded my chest with her little fist. I’m not leaving her like this, she could hate me all that she wanted but I wasn’t going any fucking where. I moved her so her back was against my chest, and I was holding her arms to her chest. I felt bad for holding her down like this, but she was acting crazy.
“Lila, either you do this, or I will!” I said in a calm stern voice. I felt like I was scolding a child and making them bathe. She still stood there so I pulled her shirt over her head, pulled her shorts and panties down, and started washing her off, I washed her entire body including her hair. I was soaked, glad Brody brought me some more clothes. I got a towel dried her off and dressed her, I put her body spray on her, and brushed her hair out and put it back in a ponytail. She just sat there why I did it all.
“Okay, now you can brush your teeth or I will.” I said as I picked up her tooth brush. She just looked at me. Her baby blue eyes was swollen and red, her lips and nose was red and swollen as well. She took her toothbrush out of my hand and picked up the tooth paste and turned the water on. Her hands were shaking as she tried to squeeze out the tooth paste. I stood behind her and wrapped my arms around her stomach. I loved the way she smelled. I inhaled before I spoke, and said “You will be okay, I’m not going anywhere. I promise you that.”
She brushed her teeth then placed a kiss on my lips, and hugged me tighter than anyone ever has. I seen the tears getting ready to pour again. I just kept placing kisses on her head.
“Evan, can I be alone to read Liam’s letter? Then I will come out and eat something. What day is it?” She asked as she sat on the bed, and reached for her iPod.
“Take your time, and it is December 22nd your birthday!” I said as I kissed her cheek.
I walked out the door, and closed it. Hell who the fuck was I kidding, I was ready to have a crying fit myself. She is so hurt and I know her heart is breaking. I don’t know the dude and hated him because he had everything I wanted, but I was upset that something happened to him. It wasn’t fair to him or Lila.
Just as I poured a cup of coffee Nikki and Brody walked in. I could tell Nikki had been crying, she was good friends with Liam’s family also. She ran over and hugged me.
“How is our girl?” She asked as she grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. I sighed and took a drink of my coffee and ran my hand over my face.
“Better than last night, she is a mess though. She is reading his letter that guy brought, he also brought a box of pictures and some clothes.
“Well we need to get her out of the house tonight! She can’t sat here and mourn this way.” Nikki said as she hugged me again.
“I know I’m really worried about her though, I’m not sure how she will recover from this.” I said.
We had made Lila go to dinner and bowling for her birthday. Today is Christmas Eve and Nikki was flying back to Ohio. Lila is doing a little better, we are going to spend Christmas at my place. Brody left for Utah this morning. I couldn’t wait to give Lila her gifts. I saw a bracelet at the mall a couple weeks ago and knew it was for her. It was white gold, with a purple and yellow butterflies between each diamond. It was expensive but she was worth it. I also got her a pair of those damn boots she loved.
I cooked a turkey breast, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and green beans. I had never really cooked like that before but figured I could give it a try. Lila made apple pie, well she opened the box.
“Evan, that was wonderful. I didn’t think you could cook like that. I will have to call your gran and tell her that she taught you well.” Lila said as she cleared the table.
“Thanks, and I’m sure she would love that.” I said as I grab a beer. “Now let’s open gifts.”
I handed her, the bracelet first and I think I saw tears in her eyes as she opened it. She has a butterfly tattoo and it looks identical to the bracelet.
“Evan, it’s like my tattoo. I love it!” She said as she kissed my cheek.
“I seen it, and thought of you. Here is another one.” I said as I handed her the bag with the boots.
“Omigod, I love them!! Thank you!” She said and then she handed me a box, it was a large box. It was wrapped so nice and neat. As I opened it my mouth dropped it was a new briefcase and a guitar strap.
“Lila, you shouldn’t have.” I said as I kissed her lips. That was the first time I had kissed her like that since the last time we had sex. She didn’t pull back, she kissed me as hard as I kissed her. God, I loved this woman, she was to break my heart for sure. She was leaving to go home the next morning, they were going to find out what is going on with Liam. She would be gone a couple weeks and I knew I would be lonely with her gone.
Lila left a week ago and here I was bored out of my fucking mind. There was plenty of shit for me to do. When I wasn’t with her, my mind went to Tatum. I saw Audrey the night before at a party and she said that Ta is still with Thayer, but
that’s all she would say. I decided I would go see my dad, I knew he is missed my mom as much as I did. I just hated going back there, I thought about seeing if he would just meet me in Birmingham. But then I would probably run into Tatum and Thayer somewhere. I decided to text Lila to see how she is doing.
Me: Hey darlin’ how’s it going? I miss you so fucking bad.
Lila: Nothing new…I miss you to Evan, I won’t be back for a week or two. I’m going to see Ads and Eric.
Me: Ugh…You’re killing me. Stay safe. I love you sweetheart.
Lila: I will, and I <3 you!
I called Zeb’s to see if I could play, they said they had openings all week, and instead of going to Utah, I went to Zeb’s. I hadn’t ran into Alyssa for a while but of course the first face I see at the bar was hers. She would never change, she was always running her cocksucker.
“Hey Evan, where is your little friend?” she asked as she put her hands on her hips.
“None of your business, and her name is Lila.” I seethed.
“Uh duh. I know what her name is. I just can’t stand her or her name.” She said as she tried rubbing my arm. I can’t stand her half the damn time and she always tried to touch me. She was wearing a skanky dress.
“Shouldn’t you go put some clothes on? No one wants to see that?” I said as I took a swigged of my drink, I was drinking a screwdriver tonight, beer just wouldn’t have helped the way I was feeling.
“Fuck you, jerk! You wasn’t complaining last time you had your cock buried in my pussy, making me scream your name, now was you?” she said as she threw her drink in my face.
“No, fuck you. You aren’t nothing but a goddamn whore.” I said as I walk to the back room to clean myself up. Just as I closed the door it flung open again. It was Alyssa, she had that hungry look in her eyes. Hell, why wouldn’t she just leave me alone.
“Evan, I want you. Please take me here.” She whined as she tried kissing me.
“Get the hell out of here. Hell no, I’m not touching you,” I said as I push her away from me.
“Please, just take me here. I miss you and the way you fuck me.” She said as she pulled her dress up and started rubbing herself. Holy hell this bitch is crazy.
“Alyssa, I have to go. I’m not touching you tonight or any night.” I whisper yelled.
“Oh Evan, you now you want me. Come. On. Fuck. Me.” She said as she slid another finger inside of her opening.
I walked to the door and she had locked it, as I tried unlocking it she was behind me trying to pull my shirt off. I wasn’t a mean person, I was trying to hold my cool with her, but I wasn’t going to fuck her. Although that’s all she wanted.
“Alyssa, get the fuck away from me. I won’t tell you again!” I yelled
“Fine, your no fun. I just wanted to give you what I know that bitch doesn’t.” She said as she pulled her dress down.
I walked out and went straight to my car, there was no way I was singing tonight.
It had been over a month since Lila had been back. We still saw each other daily. She was going to class during the day and spending her evenings with me, she still hadn’t heard anything from Liam. I would be lying if I said it made me happy she hadn’t talked to him. She was mine for now, and I was content with that. If I couldn’t have anything to do with Tatum Kelley then I would take the next best thing; Lila Carls. I was in love with both of them and they were both in love with other men.
I was working at the office and received a text from Lila.
Lila: Can you come over?
Me: Everything Ok?
Lila: Yes, just need to talk to you.
All of these thoughts started running through my mind, what if Liam comes back? What if she never wanted to see me again? My mind was spinning, I don’t know how I even managed to drive there. I walked in the door and saw Lila sitting on the couch. She had several Walgreen bags laid on the counter with pregnancy test boxes scattered around.
“Lila, you okay love?” I asked as I sat next to her.
“Umm… Well, I think I’m pregnant.” She said with tears in her eyes.
“Oh sweetie, it’s okay. What did the test say?”
“They’re all positive, so I made an appointment and I have to be there in an hour. Will you go with me? Evan, I’m so scared.” She said as she wrapped her arms around me.
“Of course, I will. Do you know when this could…? Black bear?” I said
“Yes, it would have been that day.” She said
We went to a small clinic close to campus, Lila signed in and had to feel out tons of paperwork. The medical assistant called her back in this little room, they took her vitals and had her urinate in a cup. The doctor came in and said the test was negative but they wanted to do a blood test because sometimes it’s the true answer. I stayed with her, watching them stick that needle in her arm made, me feel uneasy. After they finished, I wanted to take her to dinner to talk about everything.
“Evan, can we just go back to the loft and have pizza? I’m really not up for a restaurant tonight.”
“Sure, that’s fine with me. I think Brody is out for the evening anyways. Do you want our usual? I will order and pick it up before we get there.”
“Yes that’s fine, extra cheese and extra mushroom. Please.” She said with a smile.
“Anything for you sweetheart.”
I ordered a large works pizza with the extras and a couple cans of cherry coke. She only drank pop when she ate pizza, any other time it was tea or wine. We picked it up and went to the loft. As we walked in, I saw Audrey and Hayden walking out. Neither one of them spoke, I just smiled as they gave me evil eyes. I placed my hand in the small of Lila’s back and I could see Audrey shooting me daggers.
“Evan, I don’t think your friends like me?” Lila said laughing.
“Well I love you, so that’s all that matters.” I said kissing her cheek, I knew exactly why they didn’t like her. I never told her about my date with Hayden. Maybe I should have but hell it wasn’t anything. After I told her I wouldn’t sleep with her it was over.
We went in and snuggled on the couch, eating pizza and watching Big Daddy. Lila was a huge Adam Sandler fan. She ate and then fell asleep in my arms. Her test results should be back in a day or so. I didn’t know what to feel, deep down, I really wanted her to be pregnant, but I knew it was all wrong. What if Liam, was found she would go back to him with my child. No fucking way that was happening, I’m not going to let some other man raise my child. As I watched her sleep, I noticed how tired she was, physically and emotionally. I picked her up and took her to my room and laid her in the bed, I pulled her jeans off but left her shirt on. I covered her up and I put on some sweats and snuggled into her body. I kissed the back of her head and whispered, “I love you, Lila.”
I awoke to Lila cooking breakfast, it smelled so good. I had to go into the office today. I wish I could spend the day with her, but I couldn’t. I knew she would need some time alone also.
“Morning,” I said as I kissed her cheek. She smiled up at me and continued cooking. She made eggs, toast, and bacon.
“I hope you’re hungry, I wanted to feed you before I left.” She said as she sat a plate in front of me.
“Of course I’m. What’s your plans for the day?” I asked as I take a bite of toast.
“Going home to do some laundry, I think everything I own needs washed.” She said as she took a bite of bacon.
“Okay, dinner tonight?” I asked as I took a bite of my eggs.
“Yup, come over after work.” She said as she stood up to get another cup of coffee.
The day was dragging, I hadn’t heard from Lila. I had been busy and hadn’t had a chance to call or text. I was leaving the office and thought I would grab her some flowers. I knew she would love some wine, but she couldn’t in case she is pregnant.
I could hear music as I walked in the door. I didn’t see Lila anywhere though. I walked in the bedroom and there laid Lila on the floor with Liam’s shirt
on holding his letter in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other.
“Oh hey sweets, I missed you. I’m not pregnant! The doctor called and said it was probably stress. I’m partying all alone. I love this wine, want some?” She slurred on her words.
“Lila, I’m glad you’re not pregnant.” I lied, I was crushed actually. I would love to have a baby with her. “How much have you had to drink?” I asked as I picked up two empty bottles of Moscato. I needed to get some coffee in her.
“Um… Maybe three or four bottles, but one was half gone already.” She said as she put a finger to her mouth and let out a small hiccup. She was so damn cute.
“Okay, let’s go get you some coffee and food. How about the café?” I asked as I pulled her in for a hug.
“Okay, let’s go,” she said as she pulled on some sweat pants. Her hair was a mess, I tried smoothing it out with my fingers, and it wasn’t working.
“Evan, next time we have sex we have to be careful.” She said in a whisper.
“There will be a next time?” I asked kind of shocked. Maybe it was the damn wine talking.
“Of course, I love you and Liam isn’t coming back. But when he does I will go back to him, I hope you know that?” she said
“Okay, let’s talk about this later.” I said as I lead her out the front door. I took her to the café and hoped she would sober up, I didn’t like seeing her like this.
We enter the café and she was so damn giggly, she is much more talkative than normal. It’s the wine thinking thought. She is so happy, deep down I knew she is happy because she wasn’t pregnant. I know she wasn’t ready to be a mom and when she was, it wasn’t going to be me that she wanted to have a baby with. We ordered our food and she drank several cups of coffee and she seemed to be sobering up.
