by Kitty Berry
We lay on the ground next to each other Tate with his jeans unzipped and me not knowing what to expect. The unknown is kind of arousing and dangerous and I find that I like it. I must look nervous though because Tate asks, “Do you want me to tell you what I’m planning or just go for it?”
This is a hard one, which way would be better? If I know what he’s going to do I can prepare myself for it but I might stop him before he starts. If I don’t know what he’s going to do I might not be able to stop him until it’s too late.
“I think I want both so how about you just kind of tell me what’s coming as it happens.”
“Oh, I can already tell you what’s going to be coming, baby!” Tate says with laughter in his voice. I love when he’s playful like this; it makes me feel like it’ll be okay whatever it is he has planned for us.
“I’m going to kiss you until you squirm and want more.”
Tate starts to kiss me deeply and intensely and I already want more but I try to hold still because I don’t want the kiss to end and also because I’m not sure what will happen next. Tate did a good job disinfecting his mouth because he tastes minty fresh, nothing like puke.
He pushes his tongue into my mouth and moans my name, “Mmm…Brooklynn”. I arch my back as I groan under him and he smirks at me and whispers, “That was kind of squirmy, you know.”
Tate slides his jacket off my arms and spreads it out under me and he does just what he said he was going to do. He makes me moan and I arch up to meet his touch, encouraging him to continue.
“Oh, no you squirmed again. Now what should I do, Brook? Hmmm, baby?
Tate takes me further than I thought I would be comfortable with but with Tate I am finding out that I am comfortable with anything.
Basketball is my favorite sport and I’m glad the season is finally here even though my dad puts a ton of pressure on me to be as good of a player as he was. He expects me to be able to handle the ball and never get it stolen. He thinks I should be driving in against all these guys who are much bigger than I am and scoring. When I don’t play as aggressively as he thinks I should or if I have a bad game he makes comments about me being a pussy and not wanting it bad enough.
I make varsity as a sophomore as the starting point guard so the pressure is high. I have the best season of my life though and we go undefeated. I am so nervous before the state championship game that I spend most of the warm ups puking my guts out in the locker room. I make myself suck it up and get out to the court knowing my father will notice me not there during the warm ups and come looking for me. I’d rather face the other team than my father on one of his rampages.
I play well; I steal the ball but don’t get it stolen from me, not even once. I make my three point shots but get some of my inside shots blocked by bigger players. I play great defense and the coaches from the other team come up to me after the game and tell me that I’m a great player. I’m glad my father is there to hear them until they make the connection and realize who he is then the attention shifts to him and his days of playing. I fucking hate when this happens and I wish my father would stop the coaches and put the spotlight back on me. He had his time to shine and now it’s mine but he doesn’t seem to notice when I walk away and head to the locker room for a shower so I can head to the after party.
We party hard in the park across from the high school with all kinds of alcohol and drugs. The stress of today’s game is catching up to me and it finally gets the better of me. I start drinking beer the minute I get there while I’m waiting for Brook to arrive. By the time she does I am already on my way to drunk. She tries to get me to slow down but fuck that, I’m not listening to what she tells me to do. Sometimes she just doesn’t get the pressure I feel all the time. Right now all that pressure has just floated away and I feel light and loose.
It feels good so I keep drinking and when some of the kids start passing around some pot I can’t wait to take a few hits. It makes me choke the first few times and it kind of burns in my chest but I love the way it makes me feel…like I am floating and free. I have no idea how long I keep up the drinking and smoking but after a while I start to feel crazy, paranoid like Brook is looking at one of the other boys, dressing like a slut, cheating on me with some other guy. I don’t know where it all comes from but I can’t help it and I start yelling at her and accusing her of doing all of it.
When I start to feel sick I grab her and pull her into the woods. Thank God I get away from everyone before I start puking. Brook is really sweet to me and she tries to make me feel better by rubbing my back and for the first time I realize she’s too good for me and she deserves better than a guy like me.
While I was puking in the woods with Brook by my side Bobby was fucking Asia. He gives me all the details and I’m envious of him. I wish it was Brook and I having sex instead of me puking at her feet.
I take Brook into the woods again, this time ready for some action. I start to kiss her and she complains about the way I was acting when I was drunk and stoned. She says she doesn’t want me getting like that again and I agree. I’ll agree to anything right now to get in her pants. I pull her to me and we start making out. She tells me that she doesn’t want to do it tonight. I don’t know what to do so I try my best to be understanding. I figure it will happen sooner or later but if I pressure her she’s just going to make me wait longer so I tell her we can do what we’ve been doing or try something else, she agrees and I know I’ve made the right call.
************
Oh, you have got to be kidding me. Did I just have another wet dream? As I wake up a little I sense that I may have had a little help. Tate is lying on his side with that shit eating grin of his.
“What are you doing?” I ask him and without answering me he looks at me as he puts his finger in his mouth and sucks on it while he moans.
“I’ve missed that taste; you are so sweet and salty.”
He puts his finger in my mouth while he kisses me and then he trails kisses down my neck and onto my hard nipples.
“I still love these little pink nipples” he says as he takes one in his mouth and nips it sending a chill down my spine. Tate continues kissing me downward across my still flat belly, he dips his tongue into my belly button and then he opens my thighs with his hands and I can tell the taste from his fingers was not enough. The way he crazes me almost brings me over the edge again. I know what he’s about to do and I’m powerless to stop him. I raise my hips up to meet his mouth and his tongue finds my clit. He flicks it up and down then swirls his tongue in a circle for an agonizing amount of time. He then starts sucking on it, then he pulls on it with his lips but it’s when he finally nips it with his teeth that the glorious feeling of building comes back with vengeance. As Tate slides his tongue inside of me I explode and he moans loudly as he sucks my sweet cream, a product of his masterful work.
Tate kisses me on the lips and pushes his tongue into my mouth so I can taste myself, salty and sweet on his tongue. He has his hands on both sides of my face and as he starts to sit up he brings me with him, keeping his hands on my face and guiding my mouth onto him. I use my tongue to swirl around the tip of his throbbing erection causing him to twitch and moan in ecstasy. Watching Tate start to come apart under my touch is the best sight I have ever seen.
I continue the torture as I slide my tongue up and down his length on each side one at a time. I cup him from underneath with my hand and he yells out my name, “Fuck Brook. You are so fucking good at that. Suck me baby. Put it all in your mouth.”
I hold his shaft with one hand keeping the other hand cupped around his testicles. I put his penis in my mouth and I gum it making sure he doesn’t feel my teeth…yet. I use my hand to stroke him up and down while I move my mouth in the same motion swallowing so I can take him deeper with every movement.
“Ohh, yeah that’s it, deeper. Take it all” Tate begs.
I repeat the motion over and over again with my hand and mouth up and down, up and down until I feel him
swell even more and when my mouth gets back up to the tip I nip it with my teeth and he releases himself down my throat as he pulls my hair and yells my name, “Brooklynn, Aww yes, baby!”
Tate collapse next to me on the bed and he turns to look at me.
“What the hell was that?” I ask.
“You were having a dream and it seemed like you needed a little help” is his defense. “I hope it was about me again. Was it?” He starts laughing, “Are you complaining? Really?”
“No, but…oh, whatever.”
Tate grabs my hand.
“Come on; throw on your robe I want to show you something.”
We throw on our robes and Tate leads me out of the hut and I am witness to the most beautiful sight, the California sunrise as a backdrop to my beautiful husband. The colors assault my eyes. Everything for as far as I can see is pink, blue and purple…it’s breathtaking. We sit on the beach with our knees pulled up and Tate’s arms around me. He leans over, kisses me and says, “I love you” into my ear.
Chapter 4: The Reestablishment
After the sunrise we collect our belongings from the hut and head back to our suite to shower so we can go to breakfast and begin talking about our future. We decide that seeing as how we are acting like the teenagers we once were it would be best if we got ready separately so Tate gives me the shower first while he makes some work calls. I hear him turn on the iPod and the playlist picks up where it left off and while I shower I am transported back to my cheer competition.
************
We did a routine to a mix that Tate made for us to “I Think We Are Alone Now”, “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” and “Control”. I was so nervous and having Tate and his friends in the audience only made it worse. Over the last few months I have been worried about him. He has broken his promise to me over and over; he’s been drinking and doing drugs with his friends a lot lately. Jeff and David have been hanging out again with him and Bobby, Eric has been hooking them up with all sorts of things like beer, pot and more porn. Asia, Erica and Melissa are sitting with Tate and the guys in the audience. When it’s our turn I hear them yelling out my name before the music starts. I guess I block them out for the rest of the routine because I don’t hear them again until the end where I’m basket tossed into the air and I hear Tate’s voice yell, “Brook”.
By the time we are on the mats waiting for them to announce the winners Tate is completely drunk as are all of his friends and the girls with them. When they announce the third place then second place winners I am convinced that we have not placed. When they announce that we won first place we all start yelling and jumping up and down, I can’t believe we actually won. The stands empty out and I am looking for Tate but before I see him I am approached by a man and a woman from a cheer organization. They ask me if I would be interested in traveling with them this summer teaching at cheer camps for young cheerleaders. They tell me that many of the college’s send out their scouts to the camps and that it would be great exposure for me. They give me their card and ask me to have my parents call them. As I am saying, “thank you, I will.” Tate comes up to me and lifts me into the air. “Call us,” they say and walk away leaving me alone with my very drunk boyfriend. I have to help Tate, Asia and the rest of them onto the bus. I can’t believe they are ruining this for me. I get them situated in seats in the back as far away from the coaches as I can and they either fall asleep or pass out so I go and sit with Wendy and celebrate with the rest of my team.
Later that night Tate calls me and tells me that he had to beg his parents to make this one last phone call. They knew he was drunk when they picked him up from the bus and he’s grounded until further notice. I am so mad at him that instead of offering him any sympathy I tell him, “Good because I am not speaking to you anyway” and I slam down the phone. It took all the strength I could muster to do this but it was time, I needed to stand up for myself.
Within an hour the countdown is almost ready to start and knowing that I won’t have Tate to sleep with on the phone tonight makes me sad and I feel bad that I hung up on him like I did. The DJ comes on and says, “We have a dedication to Brooklyn. Brook, someone very special wants to tell you that they love you and are so proud of you.” Michael Jackson’s “I Just Can’t Stop Loving You” comes on. For someone who is grounded and not allowed to use the phone Tate sure has been very busy making phone calls.
I have the most sleepless night of my life that night and by the morning I am just plain old mad again. I can’t believe that Tate got drunk and probably high before my cheer competition. He knew I would be mad so he never said anything to me on the bus ride there, Tate and the rest of our friends just waited to be away from me to drink and do whatever else. I am so mad at all of them I can scream. I spend the rest of the weekend alone locked in my room listening to sad love songs while I cry my eyes out.
Katrina makes me so mad trying to find out what’s wrong that I actually smack her. Of course this gets my mother involved which is the last thing I need. I don’t know what to tell her is wrong so I lie and say, “Tate and I broke up” to shut her up and get her out of my room. Well, big mouth Katrina overheard this and went and called all of her friends to tell them.
By Monday at school word was around that Tate and I broke up. I am still not speaking to him, his friends or Asia and my friends. When I see him in the hallway I duck into a bathroom or a classroom to avoid him. By lunch the break up rumor has reached Tate and unfortunately Steve, the senior who Tate replaced for the State Championship game. Steve decides to use this against Tate to piss him off; he’s been waiting for an opportunity like this. Steve has hated Tate since the fall when he got hurt and Tate took his spot on the team. It wasn’t Tate’s fault but Steve seems to be blaming him for it.
Steve comes up to me when he sees Tate close enough to hear and says, “So are you ready now to be fucked by someone who can give it to you like a real man?”
Tate goes completely ballistic. He has to be pulled off of Steve by the teachers on duty.
Steve is yelling, “You’re a fucking dead man asshole”
Tate yells, “Fuck off pussy” right back at him.
Tate and Steve both get suspended and Tate gets benched from the baseball team.
I feel terrible like this whole thing is my fault even though to be honest its Tate’s for getting drunk and maybe stoned, for breaking the promise he made to me. I know he must be in the office somewhere and I decide to try to find him. When I get there I hear his father yelling at him through the principal’s door and I decide against going in.
Later that night the phone rings and even though I know it can’t be Tate I run to answer it. It’s Tate’s mother asking if she can please speak to one of my parents. I ask her how Tate is and she just asks to talk to my parents again.
“Please tell him I am so sorry. This whole thing is my fault and I never meant for it to happen like this. My stupid sister and her big mouth…”
Tate’s mom cuts me off, “Honey, please I need to speak with your mom or dad. It’ll be fine; we’re going to straighten it all out.”
I get my mom on the phone but she takes the call in another room when she realizes what’s going on so I can’t hear what she’s saying. When she hangs up she tells me we need to talk and I run to the bathroom and throw up, my nerves getting the best of me.
My mom picked me up and knew I was loaded and when we got home she told my dad. He came into my room and grabbed me off of my bed and slammed me up against the wall. He grabbed me by my throat and told me if I didn’t get my fucking shit together I was going to blow all the opportunities he has made for me. He said if I am hell bent on throwing my future away maybe he should just help me end it all right then. I thought he was going to beat the shit out of me but instead he just let me drop in a heap on the floor crying.
My mother grounds me for the rest of my life but after hours of me begging her she lets me call Brook to tell her that I won’t be able to call her for a while. Inst
ead of her being nice to me and understanding that this sucks she’s mad at me too and hangs up on me. I feel out of control and I don’t know what to do to gain that control back.
I sneak into the family room and hide the phone under my shirt. I take it back to my room and call the radio station. I know Brook will be listening to the countdown. I dedicate “I Just Can’t Stop Loving You” and I have the DJ say that I love her and am so proud of her.
By Monday at school word was around that Brook was dumping me. I am out of my mind and don’t know what to do. I’m sure it’s just over the being wasted at her cheer competition but a part of me is worried that she’s found someone else. When she sees me in the hallway I see her try to avoid me. By lunch I am ready to blow and kill the first person who comes near me.
Steve decides to be that person. I watch as he goes up to Brook and I hear him say, “So are you ready now to be fucked by someone who can give it to you like a real man?”
I jump on the fucking douche bag and start punching him in the face. He gets in a punch or two to my kidneys but I do way more damage to him. I am so angry I just want to keep hitting him like I do to my punching bag to make me feel better. Eventually someone pulls me off of the fucking dickhead. I get suspended and benched from the baseball team. I know this is going to really make my dad fucking nuts when he hears about it and it makes me smile.
