by Kitty Berry
“I am so fucking in love with you right now. I’m going to call the airline and switch our flights. We’ll leave on the first one we can get, okay?”
I shake my head and kiss his lips.
“By the way um, how did this happen? I thought you were on the pill?”
I explain it all to him and he laughs. “I guess there’s a silver lining to everything”
Chapter 13: Closure
Two days later Jonesie and Tara take us to the airport. With hugs, tears and promises to see each other soon we say a regretful farewell and board the plane for California. Mac and I travel first class and enjoy some quiet time cuddled close. We talk about baby names and make plans for our future. We will be living in New York for at least the next year. I will need to find a doctor and have an exam shortly after we arrive. I will also have to call my parents and sister and share the tale of my life. I haven’t spoken to them yet about everything that has happened, least of all my being pregnant with a man’s baby who is not my husband.
Mac reads a book on pregnancy and delivery while I sleep with my head on his shoulder; he is so cute and excited about the baby. I have to admit after my miscarriage I am still too scared that something can go wrong to get excited yet but I’m keeping a brave face for his benefit.
Our plane finally lands at Los Angeles National Airport; I must have been in a fog on the way to the island because I don’t remember that flight taking this long. Mac hired a driver to take us from the airport to the Malibu Beach Inn where Tate has been living since leaving Connecticut. We get our bags and head for the exit. The driver helps Mac load the car; he won’t let me lift anything heavier than my purse even though I am in the best shape of my life. The ride feels like an eternity as Mac and I review our plan. I wanted to go to the hotel alone but Mac won’t hear of it. We have no plans on telling Tate about our relationship. Mac has begrudgingly agreed to remain in the lobby but I’m not confident that he’ll be able to keep that promise, I’m not truly sure that I want him to.
When we pull up in front of the Malibu Beach Inn I am suddenly frozen with fear. I thought I was strong enough to do this but now I am second guessing myself. I place my hand on my belly and take a deep breath, it renews my strength. I already feel a pull to this life growing inside me.
Mac warns, “You know you’ve been touching your belly like a pregnant woman a lot lately? If you do that in front of him he’s going to get suspicious.”
The Malibu Beach Inn is located along the strip of seashore appropriately nicknamed “Billionaire’s Beach”. I sometimes forget that Tate can afford something this amazing and unique. The Inn has less than fifty suites, each with a private balcony overlooking the breathtaking views and magical sunsets California has to offer.
I can tell Mac is struggling not to touch me or give any clues to our relationship. Upon entering we are greeted by a strikingly attractive young man who I am sure wants to be an actor and is just working here until he is discovered. He somehow knows who I am and greets me as “Mrs. Taylor” and offers to show me to Tate’s room. Tate’s power never ceases to amaze and intimidate me and if I’m being honest it had also always turned me. Mac smiles at me and informs me in a very professional voice that he will be waiting in the lobby in case I require his services. Mac sits down in a chair and I can tell his anxiety level is through the roof. I give him ten minutes before he shows up in Tate’s room with some elaborate excuse.
Tate is expecting me. My lawyer set up this meeting even though he advised me that meeting on neutral ground and with representation present would be a better idea.
When I enter Tate’s suite “California Dreaming” is playing on the iPod in the docking station. The main living space has two pale yellow couches facing each other one with a floor to ceiling stone fireplace behind it. There’s a gigantic flat screen on the wall behind the other couch, a bar, numerous soft chairs and a coffee table. There is a sliding door and balcony with an amazing ocean view.
Tate enters from just beyond the main room, I assume from the master bedroom and the sight of him takes my breath away. He is wearing a black V-neck t-shirt. It is stretched across his broad shoulders and it makes his chest look bigger than I remember. He has on loose khaki pants that are hanging seductively from his hips and his feet are bare. Tate’s hair is still the shiny black it has always been but he’s wearing it a little shorter. It still flops into his eyes in front but the back looks much shorter. Just for a moment I long to run my hands through his hair and tug at it, pulling his lips to mine like I used to do, like I did millions of times over the years. When our eyes lock it’s like we can still read each other’s minds. His eyes light up and he approaches me. I tense when he leans in to kiss me on the cheek but I don’t pull away.
“Brooklynn, you look amazing. I can’t believe you’re standing here” Tate says.
“Tate, it’s good to see you too. How have you been?”
“Cut the formal crap baby and come here” he says as he opens his arms and I step into his embrace. He smells of Tate and the feeling of being in his arms is so familiar even though it has been so long since he has held me. I sigh and look up into his eyes. He leans in to kiss me on the lips and I shimmy out of his arms and am snapped out of the trance he’s doing his best to put on me when the phone starts to ring. Tate ignores it.
“Tate, we need to talk. I’m not here to get back together. I’m here because I want you to sign these papers” I tell him as I pull the papers my lawyer faxed to me before leaving the island and hand them to Tate. The phone rings again, Tate waves it away this time.
“Things have changed. I can’t trust you; I don’t think I ever knew who you truly were.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I made a stupid mistake, I fucked up when I was younger and then that shit with Asia but I swear it would never happen again baby. I love you. You are my everything. I can’t live without you.”
The phone rings a third time and Tate says it’s probably just work and can wait.
“You’ve been living without me for a very long time Tate. I don’t want to argue I just want….” I’m cut off by the sound of the door opening and a very young, very pretty girl walking in with her arms full of bags and laughing. She’s on her cell phone, talking and snapping her gum like a twelve year old. I look at Tate and raise my eyebrows. The gum popping child walks over to Tate and tries to kiss him but he moves away before she can make contact. She glances at me and shrugs her shoulders before heading into the master bedroom.
“Well, Tate that says everything now doesn’t it? I’m done! To be honest I’ve been done now for a long time. I wish you well, I hope you’ll be happy but it won’t be with me. Here’s how this is going to go. You either sign these papers now or you don’t but we are getting divorced. My lawyer will be in touch. Good-bye Tate.”
As I turn to leave Tate grabs my arm and pulls me into his body. Before I know what is happening he is kissing me, really kissing me, kissing me on the lips with his tongue trying to get into mine. I put my hands on his chest and push him backwards breaking our embrace.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry for everything. For not being the man you deserve, for all the girls, Asia, everything I ever did to disappoint you. I want you to be happy, you deserve better than me. I’ll sign the papers; you can have anything you want. Just please believe me that I have always loved you and I always will. I will never feel for anyone the way I feel for you. You will always have my heart.”
“I will always love you too Tate. It’s just too bad that instead of giving me all of you, you gave me your heart but passed your dick around to any girl who looked your way. What happened to being your first, last and only? Was I any of those? Good-bye, Tate” I said as I walked out the door not waiting for his answer.
I expected him to follow me and put up a fight but he didn’t, he just stood in his suite with his head down looking totally defeated. I rode down in the elevator alone crying the whole way. When Mac saw me enter the lobby he ros
e from his seat and was at my side in a split second. When he saw me crying he wrapped his arm around my waist and we walked out to the car without a word.
I know Mac wanted to ask for a play by play reenactment of my conversation with Tate but he was patient. I sat next to him in silence. The driver brought us back to the airport and while we sat to wait for our flight to New York Mac broke the silence.
“I saw the girl. She was in the lobby and the Maître De was trying to stop her from going up to the room. He was yelling at some other staff to call up to the room but Tate wasn’t answering the phone. I’m sorry Brook.”
“Sorry? Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong. Nothing has changed Mac. He’s still sleeping with anything that he can get his hands on; my guess is he’s always been and always will be.”
Mac smiles at me then can’t wait any longer to ask, “So, are you going to make me wait until New York to hear what happened up there or what?”
“I rode up to his suite alone in the elevator to find his suite door open like he was waiting for me. I went in, “California Dreaming” was playing; he’s always trying to set the scene with music. The suite is amazing; it had two pale yellow couches facing each other. One of them had a floor to ceiling stone fireplace behind it. There’s this gigantic flat screen on the wall behind the other couch, a bar, a bunch of chairs and a coffee table. There was a sliding door and balcony with an amazing ocean view, not as good as the guest house but close.”
“Not what I’m asking about darling. I can give a shit what the place looked like” Mac says, clearly losing his patience.
I sigh and continue, “Tate came in when he heard me. I think he’d been in the bedroom and I’ll be honest the first sight of him took my breath away. Not because I wanted him, it’s just…I haven’t seen him in so long. I didn’t know what to expect.”
Mac doesn’t look happy and he growls a little in response.
I decide to leave out what Tate was wearing and that he looked very sexy. There is no way I’m telling Mac that I pictured myself running my hands through his hair and tugging at it.
Mac finally manages words, “Did he kiss you hello?”
“I tensed when he came close to me and leaned in to kiss me on the cheek but I didn’t pull away. I let him kiss me. He told me I looked amazing, I said it was good to see him and asked him how he’d been. He opened his arms and told me to stop being so formal then we hugged.”
A sigh escapes Mac and I hate that I have to tell him about the kiss.
“Okay, this is not going to be your favorite part” I begin but we are interrupted by our flight being called and needing to board the plane. I can tell Mac is about to crawl out of his skin by the time the flight attendant has settled us in and finally given us our privacy.
“Get on with it, Brook; you know the part I’m not going to like. Not that I’ve liked one part of the fucking story yet” Mac snaps.
“So, he kissed me on the lips but I shimmy out of his arms as fast as I could. I told him we needed to talk and that I was not there to get back together. I told him all I wanted was for him to sign the papers. I told him things change, I can’t trust him and that I never knew who he really was.”
“And” Mac prompts when he senses that I’m losing momentum.
“He told me that he made a stupid little mistake, that he fucked up when we were younger and that it would never happen again. He said he loved me that he couldn’t live without me.”
“Oh, he’s a fucking piece of work. All while he has some bimbo with fake tits I’m sure he paid for out shopping so you won’t see her.”
“So you noticed that, did you?”
“Can’t help but notice Brook, did you see those things? I mean come on, I like a good set but please. Now continue” he demands.
“When I started to tell him that I didn’t want to argue I was cut off by the big boobed girl on her cell phone snapping her gum like a twelve year old. I looked at Tate and I think he knew then that the fight was over. She actually walked over to Tate and tried to kiss him but he moved away and she didn’t even care, she just glanced at me and shrugged her shoulders before heading into the bedroom.”
“What did you say to him about her? I thought for sure when I saw her go up there that she’d be coming down in a body bag. I almost went up in the elevator with her. Not to piss you off more but she actually approached me in the lobby” Mac reports. “But I’ll tell you about that after you finish your story.”
I am so pissed I didn’t kick her tight youthful ass now! After all those sessions of Krav Maga with Sven I could have really done some damage. I tell Mac how it ended. That I told Tate I was done and have been for a long time. I tell him that I wished Tate well, I told him I hoped he’d be happy but it wouldn’t be with me. I tell Mac that I was proud of myself for standing up to him and telling him how it was going to go.
“And here’s another part that you are not going to like, really not going to like. Tate grabbed my arm when I was walking out the door and pulled me into a kiss before I knew what was happening. He kissed me on the lips; by the time his tongue tried to get into my mouth I was already pushing him backwards breaking our embrace.”
I look at Mac, he’s looking like he might explode or punch a hole in the airplane, either way it doesn’t look pretty. Mac flags the flight attendant over and asks for a glass of water, a paper towel and a scotch on the rocks. I sit in silence afraid to agitate him further. Mac sits silently; I don’t speak either, until the flight attendant reappears. She has the items Mac has requested and when she leaves he downs his drink in one gulp. He puts the paper towel into the water then wipes my lips with it, rubbing it just a little too hard.
“Never again, understand? Never! No one else’s lips touch yours again but mine” he commands as he pulls me to his lips and kisses me hard making my lips hurt just a pinch.
It’s like taking off a band-aid, I have to finish this with one fast pull so I continue, “Tate apologized for everything. He said he was sorry for not being the man I deserved.”
Mac interrupts, “Damn right he’s not”
“He said he was sorry for all the girls, Asia, and everything he did to disappoint me. He said he wanted me to be happy and said I deserved better than him.”
“I agree, did you tell him you were happy and with a man who is going to treat you like you deserve to be treated?”
“Okay, are you about done? This is finally the part I think you’re going to like, now shut up and listen like a good little boy” I playfully order and finish my story by telling Mac that Tate said he’d sign the papers and give me anything I wanted. Mac actually applauded.
Brooklynn and I quickly settle into our new urban lives. Her brother Michael and his life partner, Jeremy live close by. We try our best to see them often even though Michael stills works for Tate and has always been his biggest fan we hit it off immediately. Michael runs the New York office of Taylor Studios while Tate continues to run the California office. We take Andrew, Brook’s nephew to the park and museums on the weekends, giving Michael and Jeremy time to breathe and allowing us some much needed practice time with a child. We go to the movies or out to dinner with Michael and Jeremy. Brook spends her days working in her studio with Heidi and the group of dancers they’ve assembled for this new workshop. Brook feels it will be ready long before she had originally thought which is great because she is due in only five months. She went to the doctor’s as soon as we arrived in the city and discovered that she was further along than we thought. We also learned that she was carrying a little baby girl. I can’t believe I’m going to be a daddy and have a little girl that’s my own.
Brook and I are already looking into a Connecticut home for us. We love the city but we want to raise our daughter in the suburbs. Our New York apartment is a lease with an option to buy and we are considering buying it so we’d always have a place to stay in the city, giving us the best of both worlds.
Brook’s workshop is ready to op
en ahead of time and she’s a nervous wreck the night of the opening. I try my best to calm her down but it’s no use. I sit in the front row of the theater and I notice Tate as soon as he enters. I know it is going to push Brook over the cliff if she sees him, especially with the busty redhead on his arm. Tate is in for the surprise of his life, not only with the content of this workshop but also when he sees Brook. She’s kept her tiny figure throughout her body. You can hardly tell she’s pregnant until she turns sideways, then there’s no question. Brook and Tate’s divorce won’t be finalized for another month and she didn’t want to tell him until after that. Brook and Tate managed to work out a working relationship, she will continue to work at Taylor Studios as long as Tate remains in California and they don’t have to work together on a daily basis. Tate told her he would not be at this workshop tonight but like everything else he’s told her it was a lie.
