Was I lucky to have a mother that cared so much? Yes. But sometimes it was too much.
My only hope was to put on a brave face and convince her that I was doing better. I forced my eyes to open in the pitch-black room. I wasn’t sure how long I’d slept, but it was well into the night now.
I slowly swung my feet off the side of my bed and sat up. The movement sent the pain crashing into my skull like a hammer. I winced and knew that I was going to have to pull out my inner Meryl Streep to convince my mom I was fine.
Lifting my head hurt so I kept my face down as I shuffled to my front door. I was still in the cutoff sweats and T-shirt that I’d worn to bed last night and the material was twisted and crumpled. This would be the performance of a lifetime.
As I put my hand on the doorknob and turned it, I curled my lips into what I hoped was a believable smile. The porch light hit my eyes and they automatically closed. “Mama. I told you, you di—”
My sentence dropped off when I opened my eyes again and saw Ranger standing beside jeans and work boots. I lifted my head just enough to see Hayden staring down at me with a concerned look on his face.
Both my shoulders and my fake smile fell. “I told you that I would meet with you tomorrow.”
“That’s not why I’m here.”
“Why are you here?” If he wanted to talk, tonight was not the night.
“I ran into your mom at the market. She told me you had a migraine and that she was going to bring soup over even though you told her not to.” He held up a paper bag. “So I offered to stop by with the soup and check on you.”
Inside I was secretly awwwing that he’d saved me from a Nora O’Sullivan Nurture Session. But outwardly I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I thought it was sweet. Playing interference and volunteering to bring me soup that I had no plans on eating did not make up for abandonment. Hayden deserted me and I felt the same way about that act as the military did. I’d sentenced him to an emotional court-martial.
“Can I come in?”
The rich depth of his voice spread through me and my body automatically relaxed. Muscle memory was a funny thing. My entire being remembered that hearing that voice was the first step to feeling better. When Hayden and I were together, whenever I’d feel a migraine coming on, I’d tell my mom I was going to Bella’s and sneak into Hayden’s room. We had a whole routine that we did where he’d use his magic hands and give me massages while I watched my favorite movie. Over the years that we were together, as our relationship and intimacy progressed he’d also used his magic mouth and tongue to combat my headaches. Once the pain subsided he’d relax me with a very special, intimate massage to ensure I was totally relaxed.
It worked every time.
A throbbing tingle began between my legs and I felt myself begin to blush. Not because I was shy or embarrassed about the act that I was thinking about, it was more likely due to the fact that I hadn’t been with anyone in two years and no one had ever made me feel the things that Hayden had.
Ranger whimpered and placed his head beneath my hand.
“He senses you’re in pain.”
“Good boy,” I praised him.
“Can we come in?” Hayden rephrased.
My pride was saying no, but my head was saying yes. My head won. It was the one in pain, after all.
“Fine.” I opened the door wider and went to lie down on the couch.
“Have you eaten anything today?” His voice drifted past the grinding pain that filled my head.
“No,” I answered weakly as I gently lowered onto my sofa.
“Have you taken medicine?”
That was a stupid question. Of course I had. “Yes.”
My heavy lids shut as I situated the throw pillow beneath my head. I felt Ranger’s head pressing against my cheek and I leaned into the warmth. I pressed my eye socket against the crown of his head and it gave me a modicum of relief.
I could hear Hayden in my kitchen. It was odd. He’d never been in my home before, yet it felt so natural, so normal. I kept my eyes closed and leaned against the best dog in the entire world. He stayed perfectly still, letting me use him as a warm compress. There were more sounds from the kitchen. I heard the fridge door open and shut. Cabinets, too. Then I heard footsteps and sounds around me.
I kept my eyes shut but the familiar sounds of a movie I hadn’t watched in years filled the room at the same time I felt a dip in the couch.
When I opened one eye I saw that the opening sequence of The Little Mermaid was on my television. Tears filled my bottom lids.
“You remembered,” I whispered.
He didn’t answer, he just put a paper plate holding a piece of toast in front of my face. The toast was buttered with cinnamon and sugar sprinkled on top. It had been my favorite growing up, but just like the movie that was playing, I hadn’t indulged in it in years.
It was all too much. The food. Hayden. The movie. The migraine. It was sensory overload.
I turned away from him so that he didn’t see that I was seconds away from bawling like a baby. “I’m not hungry.”
He didn’t argue with me. Instead, he lifted my right foot and began massaging the arch. A moan that sounded like he was doing a lot naughtier things than giving me a foot massage ripped from chest. Those hands. I’d missed those hands so much.
Just as I felt my body become jelly beneath his touch, he stopped.
I turned back to him, looking over my shoulder and he held the plate in front of my face again.
“Are you bribing me to eat with a foot massage?”
“Yes.”
I tried not to smile but my lips had a mind of their own. With great effort, I lifted my heavy arm and took the cinnamon toast from him. When I took a bite he started massaging my foot again and in that moment, both the pain of my migraine and the pain of the past started to fade away.
Chapter 12
Hayden
“Sometimes it’s best to start at the finish line.”
~ Nora O’Sullivan
As I sat there on the couch with Jade’s head resting heavy in my lap, stroking her silky hair while I listened to her even breathing, the moment struck me as just too precious. I vowed once again to make things right with her. And if I ever got another chance with her, I wouldn’t blow it again.
But if not, I’d always be grateful for this time with her. Taking care of her last night, spending the night watching her, making sure that she was okay, it gave me back a part of myself. A part that I was scared was gone forever. Maybe I had changed, but there was a part of me that was still the same kid from Wishing Well. The same guy that fell for his next door neighbor when he was sixteen years old. I may have seen things, done things, and experienced things that I could never forget, but that didn’t erase who I was.
Just like Ranger had given me back a part of my life, Jade had too.
There was a lot that needed to be said between us, but I knew that she still wasn’t ready to hear it. As much as I’d like to put all my cards on the table, tell her that I love her, that I want to marry her, if I did, she’d rebel against it. She wasn’t ready to hear what I needed to say, but she was closer than she was yesterday.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I did my best to slide it out without waking her.
It was a text from Hudson.
I’m at the warehouse.
Shit. I totally forgot that he was supposed to drop off some extra lumber this morning.
Can you drop it out front?
Where are you?
My first instinct was to lie and say that I was at home. Old habits die hard.
I drove by your house. Your truck was gone. I figured you were here.
Glad I didn’t lie then.
I didn’t really have to hide the fact that I’d stayed at Jade’s all night. I didn’t want to give people the wrong idea. Jade’s and my relationship was complicated enough without the town being involved.
Stayed at a friend’s.
/> I set down my phone, figuring my brother would let it go. He never made it a habit to pry into my life. But before I even let it go, it buzzed again with another text from him.
Tell Jade I said hi and I hope her headache is better.
Why had I thought that I could keep my whereabouts secret? This was Wishing Well. Half the town probably knew that I’d stayed here all night.
Jade writhed and I knew that she was starting to wake up. She shifted a little and nuzzled her head into my leg. Her mouth was lined up perfectly with my crotch and the sight alone had me going from zero to sixty in three seconds flat. Her breathing was still deep and even, so I knew she wasn’t doing it intentionally to get me revved up, but damn. My cock sprang to life and there was no getting it back down.
Her chest heaved as she breathed in one big sigh and then she rolled over so that she was on her back, her head still on my leg as if it were a pillow. Her face was so beautiful. It hit me like a sledgehammer to the chest. She looked like an angel with her eyes closed, so peaceful and sweet.
I grinned to myself. There were a million things to love about Jade when she was awake, but “peaceful” and “sweet” were pretty much limited to when she was asleep.
Her eyes fluttered open and met mine as she yawned herself awake.
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” I teased.
Her eyes widened. “It’s morning? Did I fall asleep?”
“You did. How’s your head. Is the worst over?” I knew that these episodes could sometimes last days. I also knew that with the right TLC, the duration could be much shorter.
She moved her head slowly from side to side and reached up to massage her neck and a big smile lit up her pretty face. “Yes,” she sighed, relief coloring her tone. “Thank you. And Ranger.” She glanced to the right. “Where’s Ranger?”
“He’s asleep on your kitchen floor. He likes sleeping on tile when he’s hot.”
He’d worked hard last night. After Jade had fallen into a sound sleep, I posted Ranger by her side while I took care of a few things around her house. My special ops training had come in handy and I was able to fix everything on the list of repairs I’d seen on her fridge without waking her.
A yawn claimed her and she raised her arms above her head to stretch. The movement caused her to brush up against my erection, which by that time was about ready to bust out of my pants.
She narrowed her eyes at me but I just shrugged. I had nothing to hide.
“Sorry to disappoint you, stud, but you’re gonna have to keep that thing in your pants. There will be no hanky-panky happening here this morning.”
I leaned down so that what I said next would be more intimate. My voice grew raspy as I spoke. “I think you might need a little more massaging.”
Her eyes flared. “Do I?”
“Yes.” I flashed a wicked grin.
“What did you have in mind?”
“I’m more of a show-not-tell kinda guy.”
I cradled her head in my strong hand as I slid out from underneath her. The sound of her shallow breaths filled my ears, and my heartbeat pounded faster in my chest.
As I stood, she naturally scooted up and reclined against the couch cushions. Sure, she could talk a good game, but the flush on her cheeks and the supple way her muscles yielded to my touch told me a very different story.
Without a word, I knelt between her legs, which had fallen open just a little when she leaned back. I put one hand on each knee and coaxed them open even further, revealing inches of creamy smooth skin that tightened my throat with lust at the sight of them. Saliva pooled at the back of my mouth as I eyed her thighs. Her flesh was mouth-watering, in the most literal sense of the phrase.
My eyes found hers and I saw hunger burning there. I growled low in my throat as I contemplated what was about to happen. I was going to touch her. I was going to taste her. I was going to feel her quiver and shake uncontrollably under me.
Damn, it had been too long.
With a small smile on my lips, I lifted her leg and turned my attention much farther south than my final destination. I couldn’t give her the satisfaction of starting right off with the good stuff. I was going to work up to it. Make her remember just how good things were between us. Make her remember just how good I could make her feel.
Starting at her ankle, I planted gentle kisses and moved my way up her supple calf. My pace was slow. Glacial, really. But with every brush of my lips against her skin, I felt more of a tremble. Her breath came faster, her body became hotter.
I was doing my job.
When I reached the crook behind her knee, I gave it the attention it deserved and then set it down and lifted the other leg to repeat the process. Her moans of protest only made me more determined. I was going to build her pleasure slowly—and if that seemed like a synonym for “torture” well, hell. That wasn’t my fault.
Knowing how I was getting to her, I slowed my pace even further on this trip up her other calf. Now, she was whimpering and every one of those high, mewling sounds sent a jolt straight to my dick.
I slid my hands up the outside of her legs and hooked my fingers into the top edge of her panties and cutoffs, the elastic hugging her body as I dragged the fabric down her legs. I slipped them over her feet and tossed them aside, my focus was on the sweet center of glistening flesh I’d uncovered when I slid the lacy material away.
The slick heat was tempting. Oh, fuck, was it tempting. My hands and lips both trembled with the overwhelming desire to just dive in and devour her.
But, no. I had started this encounter with a goal in mind and I was going to finish strong.
With renewed determination, I bent and gave Jade’s leg the first kiss in yet another agonizingly slow and sensual trip up the insides of her thighs.
I might not be able to say all the things that I wanted to say, but I could show her.
Chapter 13
Jade
“Holding a grudge only makes your shoulders sag.”
~ Nora O’Sullivan
My thighs trembled under the tender, methodical press of Hayden’s lips as they moved at an unbelievably slow pace toward their target.
I wanted to beg him to stop teasing me and give me what I ached for. I wanted to growl and pound my fists against his shoulders and order him to stop fooling around and just get to it already.
Of course, I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. That would mean giving him the satisfaction of knowing how deeply he was affecting me, and that was something that I wouldn’t do. Not in a million years. However, I couldn’t control the small moans and gasps of pleasure that his touch gave me.
It was like time slipped away when his hands and mouth were on me, evaporating like fog in the noonday sun. When his skin and mine were pressed together, I was a hormone-crazed teenager. No doubt about it.
Still. That didn’t mean I had to let feelings get involved.
Yep. My resolve was strong on that point, if no others. No feelings, no how, no way. No question. As I’d drifted off to sleep last night, the last thing that I’d promised myself was that no matter what, I would not open my heart up to him again. My friendship, maybe. But not my heart. He’d annihilated it and I wasn’t sure I could survive if he did it again.
So for now, I was just going to lie back and enjoy myself. I’d worry about the rest of it later.
When Hayden finally drew near the hot center of my desire, he stopped and blew on the exposed flesh. The unexpected sensation sent my eyes rolling back in my head.
The feelings only intensified as his hot mouth covered my mound, and he ran his tongue up and down my seam, his hand pressed firmly on my belly to keep my traitorous hips from wriggling too much.
I closed my eyes and surrendered to the swirling sensation that took over my brain as the warmth of Hayden’s demanding mouth covered me.
Why was I letting this happen? Scratch that—why was my body begging him to make this happen?
What was it about Hayden’s voice, his touch that comple
tely took away my ability to speak, or even think? He took every ounce of my self-control and shredded it like the strings of hash-brown potatoes down at the Spoon?
It was a real predicament.
As wave after wave of pleasure engulfed my body, crashing over me in the same rhythm as his tongue moving through my velvet folds, I knew that I’d never arrive at a simple answer to that question. He had a power over me that I couldn’t control.
A raw cry tore from my throat and my back arched involuntarily as a particularly sharp knife of pleasure sliced through me. Hayden knew exactly how to touch me. Even after all these years, he had magic fingers. Not to mention, a magic tongue and lips.
His strong hands grasped my hips and pulled me against his mouth, holding me firmly as his tongue flicked over my sensitive nub. It felt so good that I wondered if I might explode from the sheer force of the electricity pounding through my muscles, jolting me in a way that was shocking in its intensity.
How much longer could I withstand the force of this unbelievable ecstasy before I came apart against his mouth and melted into a puddle of spent jelly on the floor?
Damn. I wanted it to last forever. At the same time, I didn’t think I could stand it for that long—because, as good as it felt, there was an undercurrent of bittersweet melancholy running through it that I didn’t want to acknowledge.
The fact that Hayden made me feel this good, that I felt so connected to him when he touched me, was a brutal truth that I had no intention of facing. Not anytime soon, anyway, and certainly not on a post-migraine morning like this one, spread wide open on my couch while his mouth worked its magic between my legs.
I felt the first wave of a building orgasm start deep within my belly, and my hands flew to the back of his head, burying my fingers deep in his hair and pressing him even tighter against my body. My heels dug into the cushions, giving me more leverage to angle my hips upward, and I thrust myself up into his warm and waiting mouth again and again as my pleasure built.
Unwrapping Jade Page 7
