But he wouldn’t burden Laurie with any of that. she probably blamed herself for running away and leaving her brother behind, even though nobody would have blamed her for not looking back in that situation.
Laurie clung to him, crying as he murmured apologies.
Epilogue
At Karl's funeral, Mickey was by Laurie's side, supporting her.
She was grateful to have him there. She knew she was lucky to have him there. Her father was somewhere around, but Laurie didn’t think she could just calmly stand by him throughout the whole thing. She didn’t have any friends among the people that had come mostly for her father's sake. Her only other friend, Kizzy, was still in Hawaii. She knew some of what had happened and had wanted to come to the funeral but her schedule couldn’t allow for it, and Laurie had told her not to force it if she couldn’t. So, she at least had someone with her that she knew, with Mickey there. Being alone would have been so much worse.
They had worked out the ordeal of what went down between them, or at least started to. Laurie wasn’t completely over the fact that Mickey had been spying on her. He was respectful of this fact, and he'd cleared away her fears that he might not want her, telling her they could go as slow as she wanted until he'd won her trust.
She knew, instinctively, that it went both ways. She could see the fear in his eyes, knowing he'd been burned before himself and it had affected him.
After the whole thing went down, they'd had time, and Mickey had told her everything. She wasn’t sure if it was just a show of trust, but she preferred being in the know.
In that time, Laurie could say that they had gotten to know each other a little better. She couldn’t just let him be the only one sharing; if he was willing to trust her, then if she really wanted anything to happen between them at some point in the future even if not right at that moment, then she had to return it. And she did. They learned more about each other in a couple days of sharing than if they'd gone on several dates at the pace they'd been moving at before. The night they'd had together had been good, but it had been too fast, and if they were going to have anything together, they had to do it right from the get go.
After the shooting, there had been some decisions to be made, things they needed to do, and Mickey had stuck by her through it. Somehow, they managed to find time for them, and Laurie was glad for that now.
They had chosen to stay together.
She was currently living at Mickey's rental while her house was a crime scene, and he had been caring for her for the two weeks it took for the medical examiner to release her brother's body for the burial.
When the funeral was over, her father approached them.
Laurie hadn't been so close with her dad, never had been really. But she could still remember when she'd made the call to him that Karl had died. Mickey had offered to do it, the news would have made its way back to him one way or another, but she'd felt she owed him that much. She'd lost a brother, but he had lost a son, the son he'd staked a lot on. She'd thought he sounded tired when she talked to him on the phone before, but when he'd spoken, his words low, after minutes of silence after she'd told him the news, Laurie could feel her heart break all over again.
The man that stood in front of her looked as broken as he'd sounded, hidden behind a careful façade most of the people present probably wouldn’t see through. But she did.
"Laurie," he said quietly, meeting her eyes for a moment before looking away, to the headstone over Karl's grave.
"Hey, Dad."
There was a short silence before he cleared his throat and turned to meet her eyes again.
"I wanted to apologize for… everything. I trusted Karl too much and you too little and it was obviously the wrong choice. I should have done something about your brother. He was going down the wrong path, making all the wrong choices, and I can't help but think that I should have stopped him before it got too far. So I am sorry, for not trusting your judgment."
The apology was weak, but then, Laurie didn’t think her father had apologized for a lot of things in his life. Certainly never to her. And she had to admit, a part of her had blamed him. But that was unfair. Because the blame fell on all of them, even Karl.
Or, especially Karl. He'd definitely had her fooled with the lies he told, and she hadn't been going home enough to realize just how bad the situation had gotten. Maybe she could also have done something to help him. Instead, she'd practically abandoned him and their dad for her own selfish reasons.
"It's okay, Dad," she murmured, accepting the apology, knowing refusing would only make him hurt more. She couldn’t exactly hold onto her grudge in the situation they were in.
But she remained on guard around him. It was partly out of habit, partly because she couldn’t forgive him for everything completely, not so soon. That would take a lot of conversations they hadn't had in the last twenty-six years, and neither of them was in the mood for it.
"Oh," she turned to Mickey to introduce him. "This is Mickey Harding. He was there when… everything happened and he's been helping me out since then."
Her father's tired eyes turned to Mickey, sharpening a little as they did. He held out his hand, Mickey reaching back for a firm handshake.
"Agent Harding."
"General Nash," he returned cordially. "I'm sorry for your loss. If I'd done my job right your son would still be alive."
"No, you did the best you could in a bad situation. I was cleared to read some of the reports, so I know some of what happened. I'm just glad Laurie had someone looking out for her."
Laurie was almost surprised her father could be so generous.
Mickey had gone through debriefing and been given a few weeks off after he'd handed in his final report. Of course, there was also the mandatory session with a staff therapist: Standards of Practice, SOP, after killing someone in the line of duty. Mickey wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or pissy because of the very real guilt he felt for letting someone die—two people if he counted Randy—while he ignored his duty and hesitated in the heat of the moment. He'd put everything in the report, and the only reason he was getting out of the situation almost scot-free was because he had taken down someone as dangerous as Viktor.
It was almost a given that someone would feel overwhelmed after being in a situation like that, which was why the therapist sessions were mandatory. He couldn’t skip even one if he ever wanted to get back to work. The thing that ate at him was that this time, the guilt wasn’t just misplaced. Still, it would do him no good to hold onto it. The moment was gone, and regrets couldn’t cause miracles, so he had to move on. The sessions might help him, and he was going to recommend that Laurie go at some point, as well.
Still, it felt too much like getting off easy. He almost wanted the general to blame him for this, because even Laurie was forgiving it, and he didn’t feel like he deserved it. But he wasn’t going to go around starting pointless arguments when they were supposed to be grieving.
"It's a little ironic, actually," he muttered, and then went on to explain as father and daughter looked at him with identical eyes. "Your son managed to hack your files, but he failed to print most of the sensitive information, meaning that the Bratva would have ended up getting almost nothing even if the documents had ended up in their hands."
Mickey had almost cried when he heard it, then he'd been angry. Had he known this before, he would have helped the kid along to look for the papers and handed them over before things got out of hand, and then let other people go after the culprits because that wasn’t his jurisdiction.
Laurie, on the other hand, found it ironic that Karl's incompetence ended up helping prevent a dangerous leak, and taking down a well-known criminal.
Their father took his leave after a few more words with Mickey, and he walked her back to his car, an arm around her waist.
It was still so hard to believe. That she had gone through all that, that it was over. And in spite of the tragedy, she'd actually managed to get something good ou
t of it. She regretted losing her brother but having Mickey meant a lot to her.
Also, maybe, after this, she would try to mend the broken relationship with her dad. He was the only family she had left, and she was only starting to realize that he was getting old. Yeah, he had put up the front of a strong general throughout the funeral, but she couldn’t help but think that he would be alone. And even though fifty-four could be considered young by some, but he was getting on in years.
But she couldn’t think of that now. She let Mickey lead her to the car, let him comfort her, leaning into his side. She knew how he felt about what had happened, that he blamed himself for what had happened. Laurie was going to have to prove to him that she didn’t, and encourage him to let it go.
"I promise I'm going to stay around as long as you need," he told her.
And she smiled and said softly, "That may be a very long time."
About Roxy Sinclaire
Roxy Sinclaire writes steamy, suspenseful romantic stories as the main genre, and this includes a variety of different topics. Some of these include dark romances, action packed romances, mafia romances, and many more. She currently works in customer relations in New York City, but is trying to fulfill her passion in writing and eventually have her dream job become a reality.
Please see her Author Central Account on Amazon for a full list of her titles.
Sign up for her mailing list and find out about her latest releases, giveaways, and more. Plus, get a FREE book! Click here!
For more information, be sure to check out the links below!
roxysinclaire.com
[email protected]
Also by Roxy Sinclaire
Pass To Win Series:
Touchdown: A Bad Boy Sports Romance (Book 1)
Line of Scrimmage: A Secret Baby Sports Romance (Book 2)
Between The Tackles: A Bad Boy Sports Romance (Book 3)
Fourth and Goal: A Bad Boy Sports Romance (Book 4)
Game Winning Catch: A Secret Baby Sports Romance (Book 5)
Mafia Romance Series:
Dirty Indiscretions: A Dark Mafia Romance (Book 1)
Her Protection: A Bad Boy Mafia Romance (Book 2)
Deadly Ink: A Dark Mafia Romance (Book 3)
His Revenge: A Mafia Revenge Romance (Book 4)
His Betrayal: A Bad Boy Mafia Romance (Book 5)
Romantic Secret Agents Series:
Lethal Seduction (Book 1)
Deadly Seduction (Book 2)
Toxic Seduction (Book 3)—coming soon!
Standalone Novels
One Night With The Tycoon: A Billionaire Romance
Dirty Money: A Dark Mafia Romance
Object Me: A Bad Boy Lawyer Romance
Dirty Fighter: A Bad Boy MMA Romance
Fast and Loaded: A Bad Boy Sports Romance
Tempting Me: A Bad Boy Romance
The Devil’s Dream: A Dark Romance
Trapped In His World: A Dark Romance
Deceived By The Hitman: A Bad Boy Hitman Romance
Excerpt From Lethal Seduction
Excerpt from Lethal Seduction: A CIA Romantic Suspense
Chapter 2
Fourteen hours was a long drive to make, especially if you made it in one shot and didn’t do more than stop for gas and to piss. He hadn’t bothered to sleep either before he got on the road. He ate fast food and paid for everything in cash, leaving no paper trail. It had been a part of the brief training that involved disappearing and leaving nothing but a body.
Making a job of killing people would surely affect his view of the world, or it should. He should be jaded and angry, suffering from the ghosts of the people he killed. But he felt nothing, which worried him to some degree. If he felt no remorse, how did that separate him from any other bloodthirsty killer? Was it because he was getting paid? That he was government contracted?
Was he bloodthirsty? Did he enjoy dealing out death?
He didn’t think so. He didn’t look forward to the next mark that took up his inbox. It wasn’t the next chance to put a bullet in someone or glide his knife through their throat. He didn’t look for inventive new ways to kill people. He made sure to make it quick and as painless as he possibly could. There was no need to make them suffer.
There was something sacred about taking the life of another person, and he didn’t really want to lord over them like some sort of death god. A quiet Grim Reaper that swept in to take a life was something he preferred. It held a nice image for him.
He made quite the small fortune living this life. His bank account attested to that every time he gave it a look. If he quit today, he had enough to buy a decent sized plot of land, find a girl, and start a family without the need to work another day. It would all be easily taken care of. There would be no struggle, no wonder of how to put food on the table.
Find a girl? Start a family? Were these serious thoughts he was having? Could he love someone? If he felt nothing after ending another person’s life, would he be capable of something as simple as love? If a woman knew the amount of blood that was on his hands, could she even fathom loving him?
He didn’t know, but this was one thing the road was good for. Deep thoughts. He rubbed a hand over the scruff that had grown on his face as he considered his line of thought. The thoughts sobered him and twisted up his gut. He reflected on the girl he had left back in the motel, the prostitute.
He spent his free time with women he paid to get him off. How was he supposed to relate to a woman? Would he garner a worthwhile woman? How would he even know how to love her and get her to love him?
He wasn’t a bad looking guy, or so he’d been told. He kept the close-cut hair that was forced upon him at boot camp, but he occasionally sported the beginnings of a beard when the idea of shaving was just something he didn’t want to do. Beards were in now, right? Honestly, he didn’t know.
He hadn’t tried to pick up a woman that he didn’t have to pay for since high school. It was just easier to look for women on street corners. He looked in the rearview mirror. His eyes were a vivid blue that was something chicks were into, or at least the girls he saw commented on them.
Considering his demons, considering what he was, he was surprised at the brightness that looked back at him. Should he be attractive? It didn’t seem right.
It was then that he realized what he wanted. It hadn’t occurred to him before, but he wanted someone. Someone to love and someone who loved him. The idea of having a home and someone to come home to was something that hit him like a brick. It hit almost hard enough that he swerved on the empty road.
Wasn’t that the American dream? A house and a wife with two-point-five kids? Was this why he had no problem doing what he did? Why he didn’t feel anything? Why he was empty? Because he really didn’t have anything? Why hadn’t he considered it before? He hadn’t considered any of that until just now, driving in the predawn hours, going to end the life of some unsuspecting woman.
“This will be the last one,” he said to himself. “It’s time that I stop getting my hands dirty and start working on what I want.” He would just have to let Austin know. Surely, a man who sat in an office and dealt out death safely behind his desk would understand. Austin could have a wife and a family, for all he knew.
He could have a life. Scott didn’t feel like he had one. But he would stop the lifestyle of getting by, pretending to live, and start work on what he wanted, what he deserved to have too.
When he started rolling into Denver, he had the misfortune of hitting five o’clock traffic. The interstate became clogged and his patience for the stop and go traffic was starting to wear on him. He was tired. He would have to get a motel room while he was here because he would definitely need to break for sleep.
With the thought of a bed in mind, he pulled off at the nearest exit, which happened to be downtown. After driving around aimlessly, he stopped at a chain motel. Though he preferred the non-chain variety, he wasn’t going to be picky. He got a room with little
fuss, paying in cash. The idea of sleep had him lingering in his rented room for longer than necessary. He thought about showering, about falling onto that bed and getting much-needed sleep.
He had shit to do. He could sleep afterward. The more he loitered here, the longer it would take. First, he needed a lead. He needed to find a trail.
Seeing a bar across the street gave him an idea. He started on foot, going to each bar with his description, looking for some sort of lead. It was just past six when he wandered into a bar that was more than a mile from the motel he was staying at when he picked up the lead he had been looking for.
“Jovy?” a little redheaded waitress eyed him curiously. “That sounds like her. She’s usually in here on Fridays for the bar crawl. We don’t really get a crowd until about ten. She’ll probably be in then.” Curiosity turned to suspicion, though he had already gotten what he was looking for. She was a little late to be protective. “Why you looking for her?”
He found a probable lie, since the mark was female. “I was in here last week and I saw her.” He looked down, playing at being bashful. “We had a couple of dances and I didn’t get her number at the time. I was hoping I’d get lucky tonight.”
The waitress seemed to buy it, though it didn’t stop her from checking him out. “Well. Hopefully, you’ll see her later.”
He nodded and left the bar. There were only a few people there, and the only one who would recognize him was the waitress. She didn’t get his name, and his reasoning for looking for the woman was vague enough. He wouldn’t worry about it. He decided to scope out a perch, somewhere close to the bar, so he wouldn’t have to get close to the mark and he could just pick her off. An office building with a For Rent sign in a window caught his eye. It looked like the perfect nest.
Deadly Seduction (Romantic Secret Agents Series Book 2) Page 11
