“I just had a baby!” Brittany repeats. “It’s not like your body springs back the second after you—”
“Be quiet, Brittany,” Lance warns. She glances over at him and leans back a little further in her chair.
Glancing at the mess beside me, I pick up the clothing box, holding it gingerly in front of me. “Did you pick out the raincoat, Dad?” I wonder, and he nods. “Thank you. I love it.”
“You’re welcome,” he says quietly. “Merry Christmas, honey.”
“Merry Christmas.”
Crossing to the door, I don’t even glance back into the room.
“You forgot your gifts,” Brittany pipes up.
“Unfortunately, I don’t think I will ever forget them,” I reply, beginning to pull the door shut.
“You’re not even going to stay for dinner?” Mom asks.
“What’s the point, if I’m just going to throw it up anyway?”
On Christmas morning, I awake alone and sit quietly, staring out at the bleak, dreary day. Tucker and Hazel have invited me over at noon, which leaves me with quite a bit of time to simply sit and ponder my thoughts. Sure, my family situation has been less than ideal at times in the past, but never to this point. Never to the point that I would rather sit alone on Christmas morning than be involved in the drama.
I’ve really never felt so isolated in my life.
Dad called about half an hour ago to wish me Merry Christmas. He told me he was sorry about yesterday, but I told him it wasn’t his fault. I also told him I didn’t know how he put up with her all the time, and he said that’s what his workshop was for. We both laughed a little, and then I heard Mom yelling for him. He must have been hiding in the closet again, because it took her a minute to find him. When she finally did, it was like an inquisition.
“Who are you talking to in there?” she wanted to know.
“My daughter,” he said.
“What does she want?”
“It’s Christmas, and I wanted to call my daughter. Leave me alone, woman.”
She slammed the door behind her and he chuckled a little. Poor Dad—he’s going to have one great Christmas Day over there with her. I asked him if he wanted to meet me at Tucker and Hazel’s, but he said he would probably just stay in the workshop all day.
Meanwhile, I am sitting on the couch, watching It’s a Wonderful Life on television when my doorbell rings. Hurrying over to the door, I peek out to see Hazel waiting expectantly, so I fling the door open to her smiling face.
“Hazel? I’m sorry, I thought you said noon.”
“Oh, I did say noon, Maddie. We still want you to come over, of course. We love having you at the house. It feels like having one of our own kids there, since Josh and Jess are so far away. I made the cinnamon bread you love, and we want you to put the final ornament on the tree, like the kids always did. I just thought you might want your gift now.”
“You didn’t have to give me a gift,” I reply quietly, fighting back my emotion.
“It’s not from me,” she states simply, handing me the big square parchment. “Merry Christmas, sweetie. See you at noon.”
She retreats from the porch, and I slowly let the door close in front of me, pushing it until it clicks into place. For some reason, I’m hesitant to open the package. Sitting down on the couch, I simply hold it in front of me, staring at the brown paper.
Finally, releasing a deep breath, I tear back the corner of the gift to reveal a wooden frame, and I gently pull a little farther, trying to inspect the gift without fully opening it. Once the paper is pulled away, I twist the frame around to look at the front of the picture, which is a Monet print with water lilies. I simply stare at the image for a moment, admiring it. Finally, I grab the paper and begin wadding it into a ball, pausing when I notice a white sheet taped against the brown. Pulling it free, I unfold it with trembling fingers.
Dear Mad,
Merry Christmas! Thanks for taking my place this year at Mom and Dad’s, so they won’t have to be alone. You’re simply the best. The absolute best. I mean it. I miss you. I miss home.
I wish I was in Kentucky to hand you this gift myself. It reminds me of you—of how you see the world. You’re always looking for perfection, and this is a pretty awesome piece of artwork. If you get close to it, though, you’re gonna think that it’s not so great. When you’re close, really looking at it, it looks like a mess of mistakes. It looks like bunches of paint blobbed all over in no sort of order.
My wish for you this Christmas is that you don’t focus on the paint so much that you miss the masterpiece. I’m thinking about you and wishing I was there. Please give my parents a hug from me.
Yours,
Josh
Allowing a tear to slide down my cheek, I glance over at Josh’s picture staring at me. It’s too much to think about, so I flip the TV to a channel playing nonstop Christmas music, intending to listen to the old standards as I get dressed. The words immediately pierce me.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
Let your heart be light.
Next year all our troubles will be out of sight.
Smiling to myself, I stare into Josh’s eyes.
Next year. Next year, Josh will be here, won’t he? My Josh. Maybe then I won’t be able to notice the blobs of paint at all.
Chapter Thirty-Two
New year, fresh start, and a different outlook. I’m going to put everything that happened last year behind me, including the denied promotion, the plot for revenge, the thing with my mother, and the tiff with Audrey. None of those things are worth thinking about, really. Instead, I’m going to concentrate on all the wonderful things that are happening in my life. I have terrific friends, I’m healthy, and I get paid a rather large salary for doing practically nothing. What more could a girl want?
Besides the obvious man in her life, but that is on hold for the moment.
Speaking of Josh, I decided to leave the Monet print at home, hanging in the bedroom to remind me every morning that I wake up that there is beauty in the bigger picture. Also, it reminds me of the man I really want, which is a nice thought. I might be able to point out flaws in him, but it doesn’t matter, because the big picture is pretty spectacular.
Here’s hoping that someday soon I can convince him to feel the same way about me. No doubt I have flaws, and probably enough to fill a giant canvas, but I’m honestly at a point in my life where I’m okay with the bigger picture. That feels like a giant milestone for the New Year, and everybody else should take notice of that fact. Madeline Heard is perfectly happy with who she is, and she would like the entire world to bear witness.
In fact, I should print up a postcard and mail it to my mother.
In work-related news, Cooper’s not here today; he went on a business trip about some investments he wants to make, presumably to make up for the fictitious ones he and Derrick partnered on. He’s never really mentioned Derrick to me again, and I haven’t bothered to ask. A man like Cooper is undoubtedly a little embarrassed at having been taken for a fool. Still, I’m sure he feels the same way I do—it’s a new year, and things like that are better left in the past. I hope Audrey has been able to see things that way, too, but somehow I doubt it has been quite so easy on her.
Audrey hasn’t worked with me at all since the day she stopped speaking to me. I’ve never approached the subject with Cooper, because if he wanted that to change, I figure he would have said so. For all I know, she might be reading magazines and talking on her cellphone, although I don’t know who she would talk to now that Derrick is out of the picture. If she thought of me as her best friend, she must not have very many people who are close to her.
To be perfectly honest, I miss her a little.
Only a little, mind you. I actually feel free for the first time in a long time. Free to take a deep breath and concentrate on my own life for a change. No babysitting, no planning, and no being shadowed at everything I do. I am finally alone once again, and it feels nice.
A slight knock sounds on my door, and Dina pokes her upswept hair into my office.
“Busy?” she wonders, pulling her glasses off her face. I shake my head and she comes in, settling into the chair next to my desk. It may be a new year, but it’s the same Dina—wool suit, beehive, red glasses, and the whole bit.
“Still getting the silent treatment, I suppose?” she asks, rubbing the bridge of her nose.
“Apparently.” I wonder how much Dina really knows about what happened. I never really told her what went wrong, but she noticed last week that Audrey hadn’t been coming around my office.
“I wouldn’t worry about it,” she says, placing her glasses on my desk. “Things have slowed down quite a bit, since the holidays are over.”
“No more special projects,” I state, “at least for a little while.”
Except the “save the wedding fund” project I’ve schemed up with Cooper, but that’s a secret.
“Any more news on the Project Cooper front? Still planning the revenge?”
No. That was so silly, wasn’t it? I don’t even know why I let those ideas formulate in my brain. Truth be told, after meeting Audrey, I’ve grown a little softer on the Coopers.
The mere fact that those thoughts just popped out of nowhere makes me wrinkle my nose.
“I don’t think so,” I admit with a sigh. “Besides, I have a feeling you’ll have your office back soon.”
“You know something I don’t?” She places her elbow on my desk, and I smile as I shake my head.
“Probably not, but it can’t last forever. The tennis match will be soon, and then he won’t have any need for me up here. He’ll find another place for me, and I’ll be shipped downriver.”
“Well, I’ll be sorry for you if that happens,” Dina assures me, a tight smile forming across her lips.
“Only for a second, and then you’ll rejoice at being in the comfort of your old home.” Dina and I both laugh briefly, and then she clears her throat.
“I’m not certain I want this office back, now that he’s installed that idiotic doorbell. Honestly, I don’t know how you put up with that nonsense.”
“It is a little degrading, isn’t it?” I ask with a giggle.
“Degrading? What does he think you are, a dog?”
“A puppy. A Labrador Retriever.”
“Go on, doggie, fetch my slippers.”
“Here puppy, bring me the newspaper.”
“Don’t doo-doo on the carpet, doggie!”
“I’ll rub your nose in it!”
“It’s really not funny,” Dina blurts, suddenly sobering.
“No, it’s not.”
“Well, a little funny when he uses it on you, but it won’t be if he uses it with me.” She grins and picks up her glasses, standing up and smoothing her wool skirt.
“Get out of here!” I say quietly as she pulls the door shut behind her, pausing briefly to make certain I see the smile on her face. “I’m going to tell him you love it.”
“Don’t you dare!” she states through the closed door.
I wonder where Cooper will send me, when the time comes. He’ll probably put me back in Marketing, working for Bill Davies. Well, Hamilton should know by now that I won’t ever put up with him again, but I guess that would be an easy way to get rid of me, now that I think of it. Working for Cooper may be a little degrading and ridiculous, but at least he doesn’t scream at me nonsensically.
Another knock sounds on my door—probably Dina coming back to get one last jab.
“What is it, Dina?” I ask. The door swings open, and there stands Audrey. “Oh! I thought you were Dina.”
“Yeah, I get that a lot,” she says dryly, remaining in the doorway.
“Are you looking for your dad?” I question, not sure of any other reason why she would be choosing this moment to break her silence.
She smirks and shakes her head. “No, he’s out of town. I’m not that clueless. I just came to tell you that we won’t be working together anymore. I’m going to be going downstairs for a while. Dad thinks I need to learn some management skills.”
“Oh,” I mutter. “Okay, then.”
“There won’t be any wedding, but I’m sure you know that,” she goes on, still standing in the doorframe.
“Yeah, I saw something about Derrick’s arrest on the news. I’m sorry, Audrey.”
“Even though I’m not with Derrick anymore, that doesn’t change what you did.”
“You can’t honestly still believe that I—”
“Why wouldn’t I, Maddie?” she asks sarcastically. “Because you’re my friend? You with your perfect body and perfect face and perfect life. Maddie Heard, who always knows just the right thing to say in every situation. I’m supposed to believe you would be friends with me, Audrey Cooper? The girl who eats too much and drinks too much diet cola and doesn’t have any skills or talents? Someone who’s so naïve she can’t even tell when her fiancé is using her to get to her father?”
First instinctual reaction—Audrey’s perception of perfection is really skewed, if she’s using that word to describe me.
“I don’t think that, Audrey. Not at all.”
“Of course you do, just like everyone else in this building.” She turns on her heel and walks away, only leaving a trail of flipping and flopping as her shoes hit the floor. I hear the door to her office close, and I stand up and walk to the doorway. Dina is peering at me from her desk in the hall, where she obviously heard the whole conversation from beginning to end.
“Well, there you go,” I say, grabbing the doorknob with a shrug. “The silent treatment has ended.”
It is several hours later that same day when I walk into the bridal shop, pausing a moment to look at the gorgeous gown in the window. If you’re willing to pay any price, you really can look like a queen on your big day. I cringe when I think about how much we paid for Audrey’s gown, which is now going to sit on a shelf somewhere and gather dust. Perhaps she can use it someday, but who knows if she will? It might hold too many bad memories for her.
“Can I help you?” I hear a voice call from my right. I turn to see Jane, the saleswoman who helped us the day we were here trying on gowns. Her face brightens a little with recognition as she sees my face.
“Hi, Jane. I don’t know if you remember, but I’m Maddie Heard.”
“Of course! I was so surprised when you called the other day to tell me that the Cooper wedding had been canceled.”
“Yes, it was unfortunate, but these things happen,” I offer, walking up to the counter.
“More than you know, really,” Jane tells me. “People get so excited about the idea of getting married, a lot of them jump the gun and go buy everything right away. As time wears on, things just don’t work out.”
“Sounds like a lot of things in life,” I say, opening my satchel and pulling out a few sheets of paper.
“Well, Maddie, unfortunately I cannot give you a refund, as I told you on the phone the other day.”
“I’m aware of that. That’s not why I’m here.”
“Oh!” she exclaims, suddenly getting slightly friendlier. She walks to the counter and looks at the papers I’ve unveiled.
“I need a dress—“
“Well, you’ve come to the right place for that!” Jane interrupts, beaming at me.
“The thing is, I’m looking for something very specific. I know that no store is going to have it, and someone is going to have to make it for me. Is that something you would be interested in?”
“Possibly,” she says, leaning her chin on her hand. “What type of dress are we talking about here?”
“What I’m thinking is the exact same style as Audrey’s wedding gown. This one will be a rose color, and it will only fall to slightly below the knee.”
“I’m with you so far,” Jane states, writing down my instructions.
“This is where it gets a little tricky,” I say, holding out one of the papers. “I’d like the back to rese
mble the butterflies floating along the back of this gown.”
“The butterflies?” she asks, pulling her glasses onto her face and holding the picture close to her nose. “Ah, now I see! So you want the butterflies just like this, in white?”
“Actually, in a rose color, very similar to the dress.”
“Very well,” she states, making a few more notes on her paper. “Let’s get your measurements, and we’ll have something to go from.”
“Oh, the dress isn’t for me,” I clarify. “It’s for Audrey Cooper.”
“Audrey Cooper?”
“You still have her measurements, right?” I ask, tucking my other papers away in my satchel. She begins flipping through a large file, humming to herself.
“Yes, here they are,” she sings, pulling out a note card.
“So you can do the dress?” I question.
She nods and smiles at me. “We can do the dress,” she replies. “It is going to be expensive to have it custom-created like this.”
“I expected that,” I state, throwing the satchel over my shoulder and digging through my purse. “This one isn’t on the Cooper account, though. Here.” Pulling my hand up, I offer the Visa card Cooper gave me for Christmas. “If this isn’t enough, I’ll cover it myself.” She enters the card number into her computer and hands it back to me. With a slight sigh, I place it in a side pocket of my purse so I’ll remember not to use it for anything else. As I start to walk toward the door, Jane quickly follows.
“When do you need it?” she wants to know.
“Same day as the wedding,” I tell her, and she jots the note in her pad.
Flinging open the door, I step out into the cold wind, pulling my green raincoat a little tighter around my body. (It looks great on me, by the way. Dad has good taste.)
“Oh,” I say, turning around right before the door closes, “if you have any questions, please call me. It’s a surprise. Audrey doesn’t know.”
“It’s a deal!” Jane beams, placing her pencil behind her ear.
I started feeling a little weird on my way back to the office from the bridal shop, but it really hit me when I was standing in the elevator. I don’t know if it was the sheer motion, or the going and stopping, or the up and down movement, or the fact that I had eaten some questionable fish for lunch, but by the time I hit the top floor, I was completely nauseated. The instant the door opened, I headed for the restroom to collapse in a heap and let the sick feeling devour me.
Simply Mad (Girls of Wonder Lane Book 1) Page 29
