Lussuria (New Version)

by SJ Molloy

  My heart feels as though it has cracked, broken in two. I hate that I am making him feel this way. “Lucca, I’m an adult. I wanted you, I have never wanted anything more. Please, don’t get upset. Please, don’t be mad. That was spectacular for me, and I feel the chemistry too…”

  I kiss his eyes, tasting his own salt from a strayed tear. I wrap my arms around his brawny back, using my fingers and nails to travel the contours of his defined muscles, exploring his body, placing a kiss on his plump lips as he keeps his eyes closed, deep in thought.

  I turn around to allow Lucca to shampoo my hair as I can’t hold my left arm up for long. Lucca lathers my hair, and I slowly tilt my head back to allow him to wash the shampoo away, my long dark hair trailing all the way down my back. He is gentle and attentive, knowing my head still hurts badly from the fall. It feels divine, so nice, this gesture alone makes me feel special.

  This feels special.

  I lean against his chest, letting the foamy suds fall over my shoulders and breasts. Once the shampoo has been rinsed, Lucca wraps his muscular arm around my chest, hugging me while he places the other on my flat stomach. He holds me tight against him, like he’s my protector, shield of armor.

  “Will you forgive me?” he whispers.

  “There is nothing to forgive, Lucca. I wanted you. Honestly, I’ve never felt like this before. Please, please don’t feel bad. No one has ever held me like this before. I’ve never felt so desirable.” I’m hoping this will calm his fears.

  “No, Lexi, your first time should be more than a lustful, heated, irrational spur of the moment screw. It should be planned, more special,” he replies.

  Fire rises in me. I’m enraged, hurt by his words. “Irrational? Is that what it was to you?” Raising my voice, I fight against his tight embrace to free myself, but he is too strong.

  “Lexi, no.”

  “You regret it. You just said so. I’m so stupid. I thought it was different, I thought you were different. I wanted to trust you. Do you know how hard that was for me to be touched by someone? I’m a fool. Let me go Lucca!” I demand

  “No. Stop saying those things. You don’t mean them,” he argues back.

  “Let me go, Lucca, or I’ll scream.” In a flash, he drops his arms and hands. “You’re right you should have done the right thing and left me alone!” I shout. Storming out the wet shower area, I grab my clothes which are bundled up in the corner, and I lift a towel off the heated rail.

  “Fuck! Lexi, please! Wait,” he shouts as I slam the bathroom door shut.

  Chapter 11

  Blue Orchid

  I’m trying my best to quickly pat dry my wet skin with the tiny bit of energy I have left. I put my lace underwear on, then towel dry my hair and wrap it on top of my head. I rip the wet dressing off my arm, which has started to peel at the corners, and toss it in the bin. A lifetime of raw emotions is building up inside of me; I should have expected this, I will never deserve happiness.

  Before I get a chance to put the coral dress on, Lucca comes up behind me with a towel around his waist, dripping wet and staring at me. I glance over my shoulder. God, he looks amazing. I miss the feel of his skin on mine already. Fuck!

  “What?” I snap.

  “Jesus, your back...oh my God, you have scars. What the fuck are these? What’s going on?”

  Holy shit, the scars! I forgot all about them in my little lustful, irrational heated spur of the moment screw. Lucca wouldn’t have seen them as my back was to the tiles, and when I cradled him, my hair was covering them.

  “Nothing for you to worry about. I wasn’t a special enough screw for you, and you don’t want to touch me again, so no need to worry about my scars,” I retort back.

  “Lexi, stop it. I understand you are angry with me, but stop saying those things. I told you it was mind blowing, goddamn amazing and it pained me to let go of you. I wish I could keep you in my arms forever. I never meant to say that. It came out the wrong way.” He sighs in exasperation.

  I’m so embarrassed. I pull the towel off my head and let my hair fall. I don’t need him staring at me like I am a freak. He walks over to me and pushes my wet hair over my shoulder so that it hangs over my breasts.

  “Let me see this. I want to see,” he demands.

  “No, Lucca. Stop, please. I don’t want you to look, I’m ugly.” My chest is tightening, I’m flaring up a panic attack, and my throat is so tight.

  He holds my hip with one hand and uses his other hand to trail his fingers over the winding long thrashed scar marks. It sends shivers up and down my spine and makes me tremble. He is silent, then turns me around. I look down towards my hands, trying to control my breathing, and he places a hand over my chest where the stabbing pain is.

  He places his hand under my chin and lifts my face up to meet his gaze. “You are anything but ugly. You’re fucking stunning, absolutely beautiful. The most unique woman I have ever met. When I said your first time should have been special, I didn’t mean this time was not. This was spontaneous, that’s all. I didn’t mean to say irrational, that was wrong of me. I’ll remember our experience for the rest of my life. I just felt as though you deserved better. Candles, flowers, slow and tender, gentleness.”

  “You were gentle, and it was special to me.” I lower my voice and my head, causing him to lift it back up.

  “Doc, there is so much loving I want to be able to give you, so many pleasurable experiences to share with you. Please don’t shut me out. I can make this right,” he pleads.

  Is he really implying we are going to have a relationship?

  I need to stop thinking the worst. I need to be strong, optimistic, trusting. “Lucca, I need to be cautious. You understand that, right? I’ve never had a relationship before. I’ve never-”

  “Ssssshhhhh.” He places his fingers on my lips again to hush me and a hand on my cheek. “How are you feeling?” he asks.

  “Well, I feel great from the lovemaking, but I’m exhausted. I could lie down and sleep again. My whole body is drained.”

  “Are you up for going to the hospital?”

  “I don’t think I need to. My head is nowhere near as bad as last night, and I’m just tired. I honestly don’t think I need to go.”

  He lifts the breakfast trays off the bed, and places them on the dresser, then pulls the sheets back and gestures for me to get in. It looks like I’m not storming back to my room after all.

  Fuck!

  File L for losing. Losing my self-control.

  He goes over to the door and locks it. Two days ago I would have been on my hands and knees in a state of panic at this, but today I don’t mind. I’m relieved he hasn’t run a mile after witnessing my horrid scars. I climb into bed, followed by Lucca who has removed his towel and is now completely naked. His body is simply amazing. I could never tire of looking at it. I smile at the thought of being close to this handsome man as he pulls the sheet up and closes the space between us.

  We face one another on our sides, and he pulls me into him, wrapping his arms around my body. I swathe my arm around his waist, and enfold into the embrace. His hand gently fondles my skin up and down my back. I look up to his face and he is scowling his brow.

  “Lucca, I’m not ready to talk about this. The things I have let myself do in the last twenty-four hours is more than I have in a lifetime. It’s going to take me some time, so can you be patient with me?”

  “For you, Lexi, anything. I want you. You have got under my skin and in my head, and I can’t let you go, even if that means I need to wait on you.” I smile and close my eyes. “Will you let me date you? I mean, properly date you? We can go as slow as you like. I meant what I said, I want you.”

  Silently, I collect my thoughts as I process this momentarily. Do I want this? Could I manage a relationship? Would I let him down with my insecurities and troubles?

  I say yes.

  He kisses my head...my eyes...my lips...my nose...my shoulders...sweetly telling me that I’m beautiful. That I’m
his.

  ****

  I’m brusquely woken with a fright to the sound of banging at the bedroom door. Lucca is still engulfed around me, making me feel safe and warm but wakes abruptly with another thud to the door. He pulls me into his chest and kisses the side of my head.

  “What the fuck have you done with my friend? I know you’re in there! Open this door right now!” It’s Hazel screaming like a mad woman from the hallway.

  Lucca grins. “Vocal, isn’t she?” he says, cocking a cheeky sexy dimple smile, I giggle at his humour and admire his impishness. He gets up, puts the towel around his waist and walks over to the door, giving me a fabulous view of his impressive round toned ass. He unlocks it, she comes barging in, and stares at him in his half-naked state. Her eyes pop out of her head, and she is mystified and salivating over his glorious body—she couldn’t be more obvious if she tried. After a pregnant pause of ogling and drooling over him, she turns to me.

  “What’s going on here?” she demands with her hand on her hip. I’m trying to take her seriously, but can’t help noticing her blazing red face and frizzy hair. I start to chuckle. “What’s so fuckin’ funny?” she blurts out.

  “You never got hair straighteners,” I reply.

  “You know fine well I have not, ya cheeky bitch. Now are you going to tell me why you’re in a stranger’s bed practically naked, and he’s standing here like some naked Adonis posing for a magazine shoot?” she snaps.

  I commend her for being concerned, as this is what I have expected from her all these years, but frown at her rudeness. “It’s not what you think it is. I’m okay. Lucca has taken great care of me, and I feel much better.”

  “That’s not what I meant. Why are you in your underwear in his bed? This is so out of character for you, Lexi. There’s something not right.” She raises her voice in suspicion.

  Scowling at her, I roll my eyes. “Calm down, its fine. Stop ranting. I had a shower and then went back for another sleep.” I smile at her as I say it, twirling a loose curl around my finger playfully. Poor Lucca looks as though he is chasing tennis balls back and forth, watching the finals between us.

  “Lexi, you slept with him, didn’t you?” My throat is tightening. I feel as though I’m choking and blushing through humiliation.

  I’m going to get dressed,” Lucca interrupts. “Lexi, do you want to go to the hospital?”

  “No, I’m good, thank you.”

  Smiling he walks by the bed toward the ensuite, touching my shoulder on passing and sending an electric current right to my core. “Hazel I hear you were busting some body combat moves last night. Are we getting a rendition tonight?” He chuckles as he walks into the bathroom.

  “An Italian God and a fuckin’ comic,” she scoffs. She sits on the end of the bed in a sullen apathy.

  “Please stop with the cartwheeling. We’ve only been here two minutes,” I beg.

  “Oh relax, they loved it. They haven’t had as much entertainment since Annalisa’s father played the harp to them at a spectacular ‘for one night only show’ at New Year. So, really, what’s going on?” she asks with apprehension, crossing her legs in front of her.

  “He slept with me last night,” I explain.

  “Well, no shit. I know that. I mean, did you fuck him?”

  She’s such a lady. “Yes.”

  “What! Yes, and that’s it? No details?” she grins.

  “There’s not a lot to tell. I wanted to, and I needed to. I loved it, Hazel. It felt right, amazing. Better than amazing, actually.” I lower my voice as I say this as not to let Lucca hear.

  “Did he force you? Did he hurt you?” she adds. “No, no. Not at all. I was completely lost with him, and I’ve never wanted anything more.”

  “Well, okay then. Welcome to the world of great sex. You are a lucky bitch, he’s absolutely gorgeous. He’s not your average man, Lexi. He’s exceptionally attractive, so please make sure you don’t get hurt. In my experience, men as attractive as him tend to be womanizers, and they put their cock wherever the best breasts or asses are. Although you, my friend, are one very hot female, so this might work…lecture over.”

  “I don’t know, he seems different. He’s sensitive, emotional and attentive,” I say, touching my shoulder, reminiscing where his caring hands were moments ago. Hugging her carefully so as not to squeeze her sunburn, I ask about her hangover.

  She shakes her head. “Hangover is torture, and yep, they all say that for a piece of sexy ass, so be careful. I’ve never met a man who is a good fuck, sensitive, emotional and caring.”

  “Uh, hello. You have Dominic.”

  “Oh, yeah. Well…there is him.” We laugh hysterically. “I have been green all day. That grappa is strong stuff! I was put to bed, I think, after I got caught cartwheeling down the hallway.”

  I burst into another huge fit of laughter. She is too funny, and completely unaware of just how amusing she can be.

  Lucca returns dressed in his white t-shirt and cargo shorts. “What’s so funny, girls?” he asks.

  “Hazel’s antics last night.”

  Hazel doesn’t even blush. “Right, I’m going out to get some sun. Are you well enough to come out, or are you love birds staying in here all day?” she says spiritedly with raised eyebrows.

  Lucca sits down next to me on the bed. “I will be down shortly. I’m starving,” I say.

  Hazel stands up and heads out, but turns around. “Lucca, you better not hurt her. She’s had enough hurt for a lifetime, so you better treat her well.”

  “I intend to. I’m going to do nothing else but look after her. You’ll get sick of the sight of me,” he replies.

  “Well, I don’t know about that, Lucca. You are definitely male eye candy,” she sniggers, curling her thin lips.

  “Hazel” I shout, throwing a cushion at her.

  “I’ll get you at the pool. Ta Ta.” She closes the door behind her.

  “If you’re hungry, I can order food to be brought up here and we can sit outside on the balcony,” Lucca suggests.

  “Thanks, Lucca, but I should spend some time with her. She would have been worried about me last night, and I don’t want to ignore her on our first day of our vacation.”

  “Okay, but you might need more bed rest. When you hurt your head, the pain was quite bad, and after this morning, you may be hurting in other ways,” he says with sympathy in his voice.

  “I’m fine after this morning. I told you that already,” I reassure him. “I should get up and dressed.” I swing my legs out of the bed and notice big, dark bruises on the side of my leg. I have a fairly wide cut on my shoulder from where the dressing was, and scratches down my arms and a bruise at the elbow. Sighing, I add, “I think I’m going to give the pool a miss. I look a mess, and I don’t really want to sunbathe like this.” I sigh and drop my shoulders in a sulk.

  He leans over me and kisses my lips virtuously. I respond by closing my eyes and embracing the moment. “You’re perfect, and beautiful. Please don’t shy away. You look amazing, but if you’re not comfortable, then miss today. You have plenty of time to do that, plus I want to get to know you more. How about I get us some food, then draw a hot bath?”

  I’m not sure whether he means together—which I wouldn’t be opposed to—and I like the idea of soaking in the soothing water to help relax my muscles. “Okay, yes. That would be lovely.”

  “Good, I have a couple of calls to make, and I’ll order some food from downstairs, then I’ll come back up. Go back to bed, I’ll be back shortly.” He kisses my head, and I ask him to let Hazel know I’m not up to it, but to come and get me before dinner. I can’t face phoning her to get another lecture.

  After Lucca leaves, I use the bathroom, brush my teeth with his toothbrush, and stare at myself in the mirror. I look different. Despite the minor scrapes and bruises on my body, my face is glowing. Hmm...

  Lust-glow.

  I wrap the towel around my body, covering my lingerie and open the double doors. I head down t
he stairs, noticing a beautiful open plan living area. The fragrant aromas of fresh flowers fill the quiet air. The carpet feels lovely against my bare feet—soft, thick and spongy.

  Leading off the sitting room are double French doors, which open onto a lovely patio area. There are trees and bushes surrounding the patio area hosting tables, chairs and loungers, ensuring privacy. I can’t see the pool area from the front, so I’m assuming this faces onto the side or back of the property. The dining room area is next to the kitchen—bright, spacious and classy.

  I walk into the kitchen and see it’s like a home from home; there is every type of modern conveniences, a double cream cast iron cooker and large double fridge. Cast iron pots and pans hang from overhead, and the racks hold lots of white china. The kitchen cupboards are cream wood, and a chunky butcher-block worktop sits above them with a sunken double Belfast ceramic sink. I love the style. It’s very rustic, making it look like a farmhouse.

  A stone archway leads to a utility room with a washing machine, sink, and dishwasher, along with a huge fitted wooden wine rack which is filled with various wines. There is a second archway which takes me into a spacious bathroom with a fitted vanity, toilet and shower cubicle, lined with a marble tiled floor and walls.

  I’m amazed.

  I sit on the sofa, and stare at the photographs on the marble console table—lots of family pictures, taken through the ages. This must be Lucca’s family. My eye gaze travels to a massive, detailed, stone-brick fireplace with chunky candles sitting on top of it. I love the feel of this room. It looks as though it has been dressed for a travel magazine with its lush interiors.

  “Lexi?” I hear Lucca calling out.

  “I’m down here,” I answer back, my voice echoing in the space of the vast open area. I start to walk up the stairs, adjusting the towel to ensure its covering my breasts as he races down to meet me.

  “I thought you’d left,” he says with a strained voice.

  “No, I was just wandering. It’s pretty special, I love it down here.”