Lussuria (New Version)

by SJ Molloy

  I freeze, feeling a little curious. Maybe a little jealous.

  “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be working.” Lucca interrogates the girl.

  It must be his sister.

  “Well, I needed a break. Besides, I can’t wait to meet my future sister in law, so get to introducing us.”

  My knees tremble. She’s loud, extroverted, and completely over the top. I swallow hard at her words regarding sister in law – too far.

  “Oh my God, you are stunning, like the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen! I am Orianna, pleased to meet you. This is so exciting! We will be great friends, I know it!” She doesn’t take a breath.

  Her light brown hair is poker straight, and she has a wide, shaggy fringe swept over—very fashionable. Hazel will love her hair. She is petite in frame, and dressed to kill in a white, tight fitting dress with gold studs around the neckline, gold sandals and a large, chunky, gold and black embossed bracelet around her wrist.

  Lucca looks at me apologetically. I boldly stand up, matching her confidence, and kiss her. “Orianna, it’s lovely to meet you. So, you are the girl I have to try hard to live up to.” Everyone erupts into friendly laughter.

  She holds Lucca’s waist and pulls him close to her. “Lexi, I love you already, but please look after my favorite boy. He is the best… although, don’t tell my other brothers I said that.” She giggles. I smile, bewitched by her outgoing personality.

  Lucca kisses me sweetly. “She’s looking after me very well, Anna, and while I’m on it, I should fire your ass. You get away with murder. You are making up for this trip when you get back. Be prepared to work weekends, girl.” He smiles down at me.

  “Oh my God, I knew it. He’s in love with you. This is great news! Let’s get to know each other, celebrate, then celebrate some more!”

  Celebrate what? It’s not like we’re getting married—we’ve only known each other a full week.

  I learn Orianna is almost twenty-four, the youngest of the four children, and probably the most unruly. I really like her, she reminds me a lot of Hazel.

  “Girls, would you like to go shopping this afternoon?” Marissa asks.

  “Mamma, I’d love to. Let’s take Lexi to Petrucci’s. She’ll love it.”

  “What is Petrucci’s?”

  “It’s a designer outlet with lots of trendy stores,” Orianna continues.

  Oh crap!

  “Lexi, family and friends just call me Anna. If it’s okay with you, I’d love you to do the same.” She’s smiling with anticipation.

  “Okay, Anna.”

  Just as I’m stepping into Marissa’s car, Lucca shows up to kiss me goodbye. “I’ll see you soon, Doc. Enjoy your afternoon. I have an account there, so just get your purchases added on.”

  My heart nearly explodes at his gesture, but I wriggle uncomfortably as I sit in the car. He knows this is not my scene, overwhelmed by the generosity but dreading the shopping trip. I watch him chuckle at me.

  “Lucca, I need new work shoes. Does your account cover that?” Anna pipes up.

  “Don’t push it, Anna.” He sniggers and rolls his eyes.

  We head down the hill to the outlets.

  I watch as Anna tries on a million different outfits, and it makes me tired just watching her rally through them all. Marissa introduces me to the staff and her dear friend Fabio, who owns the store we are in. He flaps and fusses around me, and I try to look eager, but I just don’t want to spend any of Lucca’s money, and I definitely don’t need any more clothes. On the top of the pile is a pale, salmon-pink mini dress, It is covered in sequins and low at the bust with a deep v line cutting all the way down the front.

  “Oh my God. You have to try this on! It’s the nicest dress I have ever seen. This is new, and very rare, and will be the rage next season. You wait and see. You will look amazing in this, Lexi, with your dark skin and hair...oh my God, you will look like a Latino Diva! This dress was made for you, trust me. I have a good eye for this stuff.” Anna drags me to the changing room before I can protest.

  I put it on, and I feel very self-conscious. It does fit like a glove, but is very short, leaving no room to bend over, and it just covers my nipples, leaving my breasts exposed. I nearly faint when I see the price tag.

  ”Lexi, this look is amazing for you, sweetheart. It’s lovely, really, but I’m not sure Lucca would approve,” Marissa adds when she sees me in it.

  “Mamma lighten up. Get with it, this is catwalk at its best. She could actually model this. It’s made for her, and besides, Lucca won’t know what’s hit him when he sees her in this.”

  Oh dear Lord. Did she just say that in front of his mother?

  “Oh, I suppose I’m showing my age. You’re right, Anna. This is lovely on. Lexi, I need to get with the times. I’m sure Lucca will love it. Let’s take it and find you shoes and accessories.”

  I have no intention of wearing this dress, but I’ve lost my voice. Marissa and Anna are overwhelming me.

  Leaving the stores laden with bags, Anna seems perky with her new outfits and Marissa is appeased having had her retail fix, but I’m not as enthused with my new addition. Marissa buys me a cream, black and gold silk scarf which is delicate, detailed, and way too expensive, but she insisted.

  I notice an outlet selling Swiss pens. It gives me an idea, so I take out my credit card from my purse.

  When we return to the Villa, we head into the bar area. Dropping our bags, Anna has the bartender bring us cocktails, then we walk through the hallway and meet Antonio.

  “Papa, have you seen Lucca? He needs to see Lexi’s new outfit.”

  “Antonio looks nervous, pale even, and he shuffles about uneasy. “He’s occupied with some business just now. Why don’t you girls go and get a drink before dinner?” He looks at Anna and nods his head, then walks away when a member of staff calls out to him.

  I look at Anna puzzled and agitated, but she shrugs and takes my hand. “Come on, let’s find him. I’ve never been one for rules.”

  It’s uncanny how much Anna resembles Hazel.

  We walk into a small lounge, and I freeze, dropping the bags with a loud thud. Lucca is sitting on a leather sofa facing a young, attractive female and holding her face in both hands, kissing her the same way he kisses me.

  I feel sick to the core. It’s my worst fears about this relationship coming to fruition. Hazel was right he’s a womanizer. I want to run, I feel so angry, hurt and betrayed. He turns around to see me absolutely shocked and lets the woman go from his hold. My eyes well up. I can’t move.

  He moves away from the conspicuous woman and stands. “Lexi, please. This is not what you think it is. Let me explain.”

  Instinctively, I hold my hands up. “Don’t!” I yell, then I turn around and storm out of the lounge. I rush through the villa to the outside, but he follows me and grab’s my arm before I make it to the end of the path. “Let go, Lucca. Let me go,” I beg, trying not to yell as I am aware there are guests around everywhere.

  ”You’re not going anywhere, Lexi. Stop fighting me. Come back in and talk about this.” He sounds anxious.

  “I can’t believe I trusted you. I’m a fool, a complete idiot. I should have known better.” I start to cry.

  “Don’t say that. You are none of those things. Let me explain.”

  I can’t look at him, I need to go. I break free from his grip and walk down the hill. I take my high heels off because I can’t get very far in them,

  “No, you don’t.” He scoops me up in his arms, then storms back towards the villa.

  He strides past the bar, and I’m aware that people must be staring at us. Oh God.

  Fuck!

  File under M for mortified with our behaviour.

  “Put me down, I want to go. I can’t stay with you. It’s wrong, this is wrong, you’re wrong for me. You’re hurting me, Lucca.”

  I’m a slobbering mess, hysterical and very unladylike, but he continues to ignore me. I wriggle around but he jus
t holds me tighter. He walks into a room at the end of the hall and slams the door with his foot, then locks it behind him. My heart is pounding, and my chest is getting tighter.

  “I’m going to put you down, but don’t fight me, Lexi. We need to talk.”

  He removes the key out of the lock and places it in his pocket. I can’t look at him; my heart is crushed into a million pieces, and I feel so betrayed.

  “Look at me” he demands.

  My stomach churns. “I can’t,” I whisper.

  Look at me, Lexi.”

  I shake my head. I’m trembling as he walks towards me and turns me around. He lifts my head up, “Lexi, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, please listen to me.”

  “I can’t believe I let you in, that I actually trusted you. I thought you were different.”

  He takes my face in both his hands, but I throw my head to the side. He’s holding me the same way he just held the other woman and it’s making me sick.

  “I would never betray you. You mean the world to me. I gave you my heart, and I meant it.”

  “Well what was that? Or am I imagining it?” I ask, raising my voice.

  “It’s not what you think, I promise. I would never hurt you intentionally. You are everything to me. The woman I was comforting is Francesca.”

  All is silent.

  Tumbleweed.

  “It looked like more than comforting.” New tears stray down my cheeks.

  “Dolcezza, no. Don’t cry. She was upset. It was challenging seeing her again, she has been so distant from me, from the family. She is here with her mother visiting my parents. She’s back for a design conference next week in the University was so surprised to see her, but we have a lot to talk about.”

  He drops to his knees in front of me, slouches over and bows his head, pressing it against my stomach. My chest is hurting now for another reason entirely. It pains me to see him like this— he’s hurting terribly, and he looks helpless.

  How can I be so heartless?

  I drop to the floor and take his face in my hands, which are still shaking. I lift his head up, and his eyes are wet. He’s lost that bright crystal sparkle from those beautiful eyes.

  Oh God, this is such a mess.

  “Lucca, I’m sorry. I panicked when I saw you. It appeared to be… well...” My hands are wet from where his tears have trickled on them, and I hug him in a little closer.

  “Lexi, I’m so sorry. It must have been awful seeing us like that. We were ending our conversation, that’s all. I have finally moved on and found someone who I love, who I want to be with. I think she was shocked because she is still not in a great place, so she became very emotional.”

  He closes his eyes, and deep down I know that must have been upsetting and challenging for them resurrecting old demons, and I do know that emotion very well. “Lucca, I’m so sorry. I should never have jumped to conclusions. Please forgive me.” He pulls me in close to him, and presses his forehead on mine.

  “You are amazing. I should be asking for forgiveness, not the other way around. Lexi I wasn’t kissing her, not like you think I was. I just kissed her lips to say goodbye and to hold her. I don’t want to be a cold hearted monster.”

  “I understand. Really, it’s okay. But Lucca, do you still love her?”

  “No, I told you, I love her for once being a part of my life, for being a lifelong friend, for whom she was to me, for what we went through. But I’m not in love with her. I stopped loving her a long time ago.”

  I sigh with relief. I believe him.

  “When I saw your eyes filled with dread and fear, my heart nearly stopped. I thought I’d lost you. I need you, and I love you. I love you, dolcezza.” He claims my mouth with profound longing, and as soon as our lips meet, the chemistry and energy ignites a burning desire deep in my soul and heart. My body submits to him with his sensitive words. Another tidal wave of water floods from my eyes, cascading down my cheeks. He has me.

  “Are you two alright in there? Let me in!” Anna is banging on the door.

  “Give us a minute, Anna. For fuck sake!” Lucca yells back at his sister.

  “You love me?” My voice is breaking, my eyes weeping.

  “Yes, I love you. I’m very much in love with you. You are mine forever, my something special.”

  “Lucca I…….I don’t know what to say.”

  ”Then don’t. Write it in your journal.”

  We melt into each other, passionately kissing in a tight embrace filled with love and traces of uncertain fear. We pull away when Anna bangs on the door again. We stand up and stare at each other, lovingly, sympathetically, and respectfully. This relationship has just taken on a whole new dimension.

  “I’m sorry for storming off.”

  “I would never let you walk, not ever. I’m so sorry, you have been on an emotional rollercoaster ever since you met me, but I want to make this right, take care of you.”

  I’ve spent so many years caging my emotions up, and now they are free, journeying on another expedition. “Are we good?” I ask.

  “We’re better than good. I love you, Lexi Robertson.”

  His words fold me...crumble me...melt me.

  We eventually open the door to let an impatient Anna in. “Oh my God, you two look a mess.” She looks at me, trying to suss out whether we are talking or ready to kill one another. Lucca holds me tightly.

  “Everything is fine, Anna. Just a misunderstanding. Don’t panic, your worse than Mamma.”

  “I am just looking out for my best brother and my new, future, sister in law.”

  Lucca shakes his head. “As much as I’d love Lexi to be my wife, you have an overactive imagination. Now, has Fran left or is she still here?” Anna nods at Lucca.

  I nearly choke and have to swallow hard. Did he just say he would like me to be his wife?

  “Lexi are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Yes, thanks Anna. I suppose I better apologize to Fran. She must think I’m dreadful.”

  “No, she won’t. Are you going to show Lucca your outfit?”

  “Maybe later. I think I have an apology to make first.” I smile half-heartedly. Lucca sighs and claims my mouth, kissing me.

  “Get a room, you two!”

  “We had one, but someone barged in on us.” Lucca rolls his eyes at her, but she just giggles.

  We walk back towards the lounge room through the grand hallway. “I’m going to freshen up first. I’ll just be a moment.”

  Lucca turns around to look at me. “Are you sure you want to do this because you don’t need to.”

  “No, I’m fine, honestly. I want to, but I just need to sort myself out first. Don’t worry, I’m not running away.”

  “Anna, can tell Fran we’ll be there in a minute?” Lucca asks his sister. She nods politely and trots away. “I’m coming with you. I’ll wait while you get sorted.”

  “Lucca, you can’t come into the ladies restroom.”

  “I can and I will. You are vulnerable and sensitive just now, and I don’t want to let you out of my sight.” I shake my head, but he just follows behind me.

  He jumps up on the marble vanity unit and watches me while I touch up my makeup; he still looks weary himself, but a lot better than that of ten minutes ago. I rub my finger under his eye and lean over to feel his salty sticky skin. He’s right, of course. I would have come in here and worried myself into a panic attack. At least he’s distracting me a little.

  “You look beautiful. Are you ready to go?”

  “Yes.” I need to get this over and done with. I admire Lucca, he is so honest and open and willing to share his life with me, yet I have not yet managed to do the same for him. I fidget with my blouse and skirt.

  “Baby, you look amazing. Stop worrying,” he reassures me.

  In comparison to how I feel just now, Marissa meeting me in my underwear was a walk in the park.

  Chapter 20

  Blackness

  Lucca walks me back into the lounge, and my stomach does
back flips. I feel like an intruder. Francesca is sitting with Marissa, Anna and another woman who I presume is Francesca’s mother. They all turn to look at us as we enter the room. Marissa beams a massive proud smile, as does Anna, but Francesca holds an impassive gaze on us for a long time while her mum glares at me icily. I tighten my grasp on Lucca’s hand; he squeezes it hard to reassure me its okay.

  I don’t think I can do this. It’s so uncomfortable.

  Marissa stands. “Donita, Fran, please, this is Lexi.” I’m grateful for her control of the situation. Fran stands and cautiously comes around the sofa towards us. She holds my hands, looking at me with tired, wearied green eyes. She is beautiful. Her jet-black hair is pulled back in a ponytail, and she has glorious skin, with gorgeous, thick lips.

  Suddenly, I feel sorry for her. I don’t know where it comes from, but I care. I really care. I hug her, and she drops her head on my shoulder as if surrendering a defeat and digs her fingers into my back, clinging on.

  My heart is pounding fast.

  I feel cold,

  I feel hot.

  My body quaking, my throat is constricting. It’s a surreal moment, I don’t want to let go of her so I hang on a little longer. I whisper in her ear, “Francesca, I have said my prayers for you and your family, I’m sorry you’ve been put in this position today, sorry you’ve had to endure what you have, and I’m sorry I interrupted your meeting with Lucca. Please forgive me.”

  She smiles and nods, then sighs and sits back down with her mother, who doesn’t look in my direction; she clearly doesn’t want me here, nor does she have any intention of getting acquainted with me.

  Lucca is chalk white. He looks over to me and mouths a quiet, “Thank you,” and smiles, but bows his head. Donita stands and heads straight for him. She hugs him close, kissing him on the forehead. She is speaking Italian to him, and I don’t know what she says, but it sounds like a prayer of some sort.

  Lucca looks like he is ready to be sick, his complexion has paled. I do not know what to do with myself, the room is silent and everyone seems to be supressed by the thick oppressive atmosphere. “Lexi, come here and sit, please” Marissa calls over. I walk reluctantly and perch myself on the end of a sofa. This is very awkward. I tingle with nerves and worry my fingers in front of my mouth. When I look at Fran she smiles softly to relax me.