by Greg Trine
Time to go to work.
Smack!
Pow!
Splat!
Soon every member of the Hole in the Head Gang was lying on the ground with a black eye.
All except Wyatt Burp, who was still drinking bottle after bottle of dog drool and trying to burp.
Burp. “Curses!” he said. “What happened to my burp?”
“More important,” Raymond’s look said, “where’s that bacon?”
Jo Schmo grabbed her dog in one arm and Wyatt Burp in the other. Then she flew across the bay and dropped off Wyatt at the police station.
“Time to go home,” she said to Raymond. “If only Wyatt Burp could have used his burping power for good instead of evil.”
“If you say so,” Raymond’s look said.
They returned to the little patch of grass where Crimshaw Avenue would later be, and entered the outhouse ... uh ... time machine.
Jo set the dial so that she would return to the modern world just in time for school; 1849 was a great place to visit, but she wouldn’t want to live there.
Zap!
Jo and Raymond returned to modern times. But little did they know that Gertrude McSlime and Betty Sludgefoot were waiting for them. As Jo sped along in the Schmomobile, she had no idea that there was a wrecking ball with her name on it. To be honest, there was no name at all on the wrecking ball. It was just this huge, heavy black thing, but you get the idea.
“Here she comes!” Gertrude said.
Gertrude pulled a few levers, and a gigantic wrecking ball weighing thousands of pounds came swooshing through the air in the direction of Jo Schmo and her little dog, too.
But Jo heard the swooshing. She stopped just in time. She turned toward the wrecking ball, balled up her fist, and—
Pow!
The wrecking ball collided with Jo Schmo’s Knuckle Sandwich, and who do you think won?
Jo Schmo, of course.
“Curses!” yelled Gertrude McSlime.
“Yes, curses!” yelled Betty Sludgefoot. “Where are those water balloons?”
Back at school, Jo Schmo was feeling pretty good. She’d just captured the notorious outlaw Wyatt Burp and got the best of a wrecking ball weighing thousands of pounds. Life was good.
At the back of the room, Gertrude McSlime and Betty Sludgefoot were busy sending Jo their dirtiest looks and working on the next crime ripple. As you know, crime ripples can sometimes become a crime wave, which can work itself up to a crime tsunami. As you also know, San Francisco hadn’t had a crime tsunami in years. They were due for one.
Jo didn’t know about the crime ripple beginning in the back of the room. She was too busy getting ready for her new favorite subject—California history.
“Okay, class,” Mrs. Freep began, “get out your history books. Today we’re going to discuss the famous lawman Wyatt Burp.”
Wyatt Burp a lawman? Jo thought. “Don’t you mean Wyatt Burp, the outlaw?” she asked. “Don’t you mean Wyatt Burp, the leader of the Hole in the Head Gang? Wyatt Burp, who once burped the doors off a bank vault and the smell of what he’d had for breakfast lingered for days?”
“That’s exactly who I mean,” Mrs. Freep said. “But after an encounter with a miniature vampire, Mr. Burp changed his ways. When he got out of jail, he decided to use his burping power for good instead of evil.”
“Well, what do you know about that?” Jo said to herself. She turned around and saw the evil stares of Betty Sludgefoot and Gertrude McSlime, but Jo didn’t care. She was now part of the California history books, and how many fourth-graders can say that?
Time travel sure was complicated.
About the Author and Illustrator
GREG TRINE is the author of the Melvin Beederman, Superhero series. He lives in Southern California with his family. Visit him at www.gregtrine.com.
FRANK W. DORMER is the illustrator of the acclaimed Aggie and Ben series. He is an elementary school art teacher who lives in Connecticut with his family. Visit him at www.frankwdormer.com.
