"Go see your mother. We won't leave until tomorrow morning. Spend that time with her. It may be a long time before you return."
Icarus gave Connor a gentle push toward the audience. Connor walked awkwardly toward his mother, his fellow clansmen parting in front of him like a hero, or a pariah. Taking his mother's hand, he pulled her from her seat and walked silently out of the amphitheater, unsure of what would happen next but wanting to be in his own home. Those gathered watched him leave in silence until he was out of sight and able to disappear into their small house.
Nine
Icarus
The sun had almost set when Connor finished his story.
"Wow. So, you just left? Just like that?" asked Laila.
"Aye. It really is an honor to be chosen by the Magus, but... I don't know, it's a little scary."
Laila nodded in understanding. “Where did you go after Custos?” she asked.
“We went west, skirting the mountains around the Barrens. Then we came north through a huge pass.”
“That’s where Norden is,” Laila said.
“Aye, we passed through Norden. I’d never seen a city so big.”
Laila chuckled, “Norden’s not big. It’s barely a third the size of Terus.”
“I know that now. But I’d never seen anything that big. The cities to the east of Custos are all small trading cities. And I’d only been to those once or twice. Norden seemed enormous,” he said. “After that, we continued north, working our way to Terus.”
“Did Icarus tell you why? What you were coming to Terus for?”
Connor nodded. “A little. I knew we were coming to find the Magusari. He mentioned that he’d been waiting to come find you for a long time. I never could get him to explain any more than that, though. Sorry.”
Laila’s faint hope that Connor could explain more of her purpose faded, replaced by her anger and frustration with Icarus. How could he expect them to just follow blindly? Perhaps, once they reached him, she could get more answers from him.
Before the sun completely set, Connor led them off the road to a small patch of trees to make camp for the night. Laila sat watching the lake as Connor disappeared to find wood for a fire. Now she knew she had not been the only one to be taken away from her home. The thought was a comforting one; she and Connor shared more than she had realized. Both thrown into situations far beyond their control. The one unifying factor was Icarus—the Magus. Laila wondered at what part he played in all of this, and if Icarus had some purpose in mind.
As she sat, her thoughts were disturbed by a rustling behind her. She shook her head clear and stood, ready to help Connor with the fire. But, as she turned, Connor was nowhere to be seen. The sound came again, this time to her left, near the edge of the trees they were camped under. With the dying light, she could not make out any details, but she thought she saw a small form, something crouched in the shadows.
She took a hesitant step toward the shadow. No movement this time. She took another step; it was probably just an animal investigating. One more step and she was almost to the trees.
The shadow slithered behind a tree, out of her sight. Still curious, Laila moved toward the tree it had disappeared behind. As she reached the tree, she thought she could make out a tail of some sort waving in the darkness. An animal for sure then.
A crashing sound rang out from behind Laila. She jumped and let out a small gasp. Spinning, she saw Connor dropping a small pile of dry wood onto the ground.
"Sorry," Connor said, shrugging.
Laila took a couple of deep breaths, calming her racing heart.
"Everything okay?" he asked.
"Yes," she began, taking one more breath to steady her voice. "I just saw something." She turned back to the tree, but the shadow was gone, likely scared away by Connor's noise. "It was nothing, though."
Connor tilted his head to the side. "Are you sure?"
Laila nodded as Connor walked over to her.
"Where did you see it?"
"Over here behind the tree. It was just a shadow of something."
Connor stepped past her to the tree. He knelt down, his hand hovering just over the ground. Laila was not sure what he expected to find, as the light was nearly gone. He stayed in that position for several moments, and then he reached out and picked something off the ground.
"I don't think it was nothing," he said, lifting the item in front of her. It was a small branch, but one end was burned slightly in three spots. "It's still hot."
Laila reached her hand out and could feel the heat emanating from the branch.
"What would do that?" she asked, her anxiety returning.
"I don't know, but we should probably go without a fire tonight."
Laila sank at the prospect of a cold meal and no warmth, but the fear of whatever this new animal could be overruled her hunger.
"I'll stay up for first watch. You get some rest," Connor said.
Laila slowly made her way to her pack, grabbing a handful of dried meat and slouching down onto her blankets. She was unlikely to get much sleep tonight, but she might as well try.
Connor sat in the darkness. He had his back to a tree, placing himself just so the knots dug slightly into his back, enough to keep him awake but not enough to make him horribly uncomfortable. Laila’s breathing was smooth and even, finally. It had taken her almost two hours to fall asleep. Connor understood—he felt the same anxiety himself. Every sound that echoed through the darkness made him start.
The moon had finally risen, and its pale light shone through the tops of the trees now. Connor had inspected the tree where Laila had seen the strange shadow once more, when the moon had risen, but he had seen nothing else that hinted at what the creature could have been. They needed to get to Icarus. Icarus had warned Connor that there were other forces at work, but even he did not truly know what those were. Connor felt his frustration rise once again. They all knew so little. Even Icarus. He could tell that Laila hoped to find some answers when they finally met him, but Connor did not know how likely that was. He had wanted answers himself on their journey to Terus, but Icarus had not been forthcoming, and Connor had started to believe that the Magus might not actually have very many answers at all.
Trying to take his mind off of his ignorance, he brought the image of the Sword to his mind. He had not wielded it since the night in the alley with Laila. He had been scared then, scared that he would have to use it to hurt someone. He reached out to the still-unfamiliar part of his mind and willed the Sword into being. Nothing. Nothing happened, as was so common. As much as Icarus spoke of protecting the Magusari and his chosen role and everything, Connor still doubted his own usefulness. Had it not been for his seemingly random ability to do what he did, he would not have been the one chosen. Cyrus was the better warrior. Even Nico was a better hunter.
He struggled for a few more moments, but the Sword continued to elude him. With a deep sigh he stood and walked the edge of the small copse of trees, hoping to keep his mind from drowsing.
“We should reach Icarus by the end of the day,” Connor said as they began their march on Laila’s third day from Terus.
“How far is that?” Laila asked.
“About twenty miles, I think.”
Laila groaned inwardly; she did not look forward to the prospect of another hard march, but she wanted desperately to see Icarus. They pressed on, both trying to forget the strange encounter the night before.
On the south side of the lake, the flat plains that had stretched along the western side gave way to rolling hills. The road was more overgrown here, another testament to the lack of travel, and it weaved in and out of the hills, trying to take the path of least resistance. By noon, the road had began to veer more determinedly to the southeast, heading toward Balon.
Laila put her water-skin to her mouth, pulling at what little water was left. Connor had set a grueling pace, but she had already begun to feel stronger than their first day. Her feet still ached and her shoulders
were sore at the end of the day, but she was getting stronger. And the pain helped keep her mind off of her current circumstances.
They came to a series of large rocks that bordered the road; they had been buried deep into the hills by ancient hands long ago. Connor led them off of the main road at this point. Laila followed, hoping that it meant they were getting close to Icarus. They followed a small animal path deeper into the hills north of the road. As the sun was sliding toward the horizon, Laila began to hear the sound of water running. The river was close.
Climbing a large hill, they reached the top and broke into a small clearing next to the rushing river. A small fire was burning near the center of the clearing, and a string was hung between two trees near the river with two small rabbits hanging from it. Next to the river sat a hunched frame, washing something in the clear water. Icarus.
Finally! thought Laila.
The robed man stood as they entered the clearing. He turned and sighed deeply when he saw it was the two of them.
"By the five! I was not sure you would make it," he said.
"Magus," Connor said, bowing low.
“Boy,” Icarus said. "How many times must I tell you to call me Icarus?"
Connor returned to standing, a slight flush to his cheeks.
"Now you, Shi Wardein, you I am very glad to see." He smiled, his dark, knotted hair hanging loosely in his face.
Laila felt her emotions crash through her. "Glad to see me!" She was shouting. "I left my home because of you. My family... Everything! Why?"
She rushed forward, her hands up in Icarus's face accusingly.
"Child..." Icarus began.
"I am not a child!" Connor stepped up behind her, placing his hand on her shoulder. She threw it off. "I need to know why this happened!"
Icarus raised his own hands, trying to placate her, but her emotions demanded a release. She had held them in for days. Now, facing the reason for everything that had transpired, she required answers. As she unleashed her emotions, there was a rumbling beneath her feet. Icarus reached his hands out and placed them on her shoulders.
"Calm yourself."
"I WILL NOT!"
The earth rose up with her anger, just as it had done in the alley. She felt strength and power course through her. Icarus released her shoulders, taking a step away from her. She mirrored his steps.
"ANSWER ME, MAGUS!" She could hear the same disdain in her shout that Torin had conveyed days earlier. Icarus stepped back again, one foot in the water.
"I will, Laila-sa. But you must calm yourself. I cannot help you if I am dead."
Hearing the familiar honorific brought her back to herself. She missed her family. Her mother's strong arms, her father's comforting voice, even Clara's lessons. The power and strength drained out of her, and she collapsed onto her knees, tears streaking down her face as the earth returned to its natural place.
Icarus knelt in front of her. His dark eyes were heavy with worry. The wrinkles on his forehead stood out more prominently. Laila could finally see how old he really was—and how careworn. He placed a gentle hand on her head, and she felt a light flow of energy course into her body from his, like the power from the earth, but calming and soothing. She took a shuddering breath and looked up.
"I am sorry you must go through this, child. And I will do my best to help you."
She let him help her stand, and they walked slowly to the small fire.
Laila stared into the coals of the fire. The sun had gone down, and the cool air of the autumn night had moved in. Connor had draped a blanket around her shoulders, and she pulled it more tightly around her now, watching the way the red flames danced across the dead wood. She had not spoken since her outburst, and Icarus had not yet offered her the answers she so desperately sought. For now, though, she did not care. Instead, thoughts of home comforted her.
One time, when she had been younger, only nine or ten, she had questioned her father about her mother's absence. She did not understand why Lunete had to leave her family so frequently. She knew the words behind it, knew that she was a Guardian and that it was her duty. But those words, at that time, meant nothing to her.
"But why must mother leave?" she pleaded.
"Because, Laila-sa, that is her duty as Guardian. She protects all of us from threats outside of Terus."
"I don't understand... Why can't she do that here?"
Her father leaned back in his chair, contemplating a better way to explain. "Let me try another way."
Laila waited.
"If your friend Selene were bad and wanted to hurt you—"
"That's silly, she'd never do that."
"Let's just pretend... Now if she wanted to hurt you, would that be okay?"
"Well, no."
"Why?"
"Because it's wrong to hurt other people. Especially when they're friends."
"Okay, but who would stop her?"
Laila thought for a moment. "I guess I would, if I had to."
"But then you'd be hurting her. Which you just said is wrong."
"So mother's job is to hurt people?"
"No, it's to protect us from those who would hurt us. She does her job so that we do not have to."
"I still don't understand."
"I know, child. One day you will."
She contemplated those words now, and the deeper meaning still eluded her. None of it made sense. The whole makeup of the Confederacy seemed fundamentally flawed. She could not point to one thing that was wrong, but the logic behind it seemed to have been taken too far. Then again, maybe she was just trying to rationalize her decision to leave in the wake of her emotional outburst earlier and find a way for it to all make sense, which it still did not.
She sighed deeply as Icarus and Connor finally joined her around the fire. Connor handed her a steaming bowl; he had been making a stew from the rabbits that Icarus had caught. She nodded her thanks and sipped at the bowl absently.
"What am I?" she asked abruptly, watching Icarus start on his own bowl.
He stopped in the middle of his sip, holding the bowl to his mouth and staring into the fire. He stayed that way for a moment before sitting back and regarding her, the worry still present in his eyes.
"That is a complicated question," he answered.
Connor sipped at his own bowl, trying to blend into the shadows.
"Maybe, but I still want to know."
"And you have a right..." Icarus responded. "I believe you are the Magusari."
"Both you and Connor have mentioned that word. What is a Magusari?"
"In short, it's a counterbalance for the world. There have only been a handful throughout the course of history, and they always appear in times of great unrest and imbalance in the world. The Magusari is meant to correct that discrepancy."
"So I'm supposed to save the world."
"Save might not be the right word." He thought for a moment. "Maybe...fix."
Laila raised an eyebrow at him.
"I know, not the most elegant of explanations. But, you've already shown aptitude. Connor has told me of what happened a few days ago in Terus. I saw what you did the day your friend, Torin—"
"He's not my friend," Laila interjected.
Icarus nodded. "The day that he cast me out. And if that weren't enough, you showed yourself earlier today."
"Can't you do those things? You're a Magus."
"I am. And I can, to a degree. But I spent many, many years learning to hone my talents. True, there is something of a calling, but no Magus has ever shown the aptitude you have shown so early, with so little training."
Laila lowered her head. It still did not make sense, but she had no argument, so she let the topic drop for the time being.
Icarus looked at her reassuringly. "I promise, child. When we reach our destination, you will learn more."
Laila brushed him off, keeping her head down and sipping at her stew.
"For now," Icarus continued, sitting up, "we'll need to leave at first light.
Your news of the creature you spotted last night makes me feel uneasy. We will stop in Balon first before heading south."
"Where are we going?" asked Connor.
"To my home, a lake deep in the mountains north of Custos."
"Grimmere?" asked Connor.
"That's what your people call it, yes."
Connor's eyes widened. "But... Grimmere's haunted. No one ever goes there..."
"Haunted! Only by old men such as myself." Icarus laughed. "But the rumors help keep unwanted visitors away. It will be a long journey. Get some rest."
And with that, Icarus moved away from the fire to his bed of blankets. Laila finished her stew and sat a while longer. When she finally stood, Connor had taken a spot near the edge of the firelight, looking out into the darkness. Silently, she rolled herself up into her own blankets and settled in for sleep.
They woke in the same manner as Connor and Laila had previously done, readied themselves, and made their way south along the river. Icarus had told them that they would not reach Balon until the following day. As they moved further south, the trees that stood near the banks of the river grew denser. Icarus led them into their shadows once the sun had fully risen in order to avoid any unwanted eyes from the ships that made their way up and down the river. He still had not told them who he feared discovery from, but it was clear that he felt something was on the lookout for them. Laila wondered if it had anything to do with their strange encounter the night before.
By midday, they had reached the main road once again as it abutted the river and turned south toward Balon. They passed more travelers now, as they were closer to the city. While their clothes seemed slightly odd to Laila, the familiar presence of people, the clatter of the merchants’ carts, and the sight of rolling farmland made her feel more at home.
As they walked, Icarus questioned Laila and Connor about their destination. "What do you know of Balon, Consul?" Laila flinched at her former title. She could tell that Icarus was using it to try and make her feel better, but it made the sting of absence more prominent.
Bones of the Earth (The Equilibrium Cycle Book 1) Page 13
