“I don’t actually know exactly what you did, but I can tell you what the farmers think and why they’re after you,” Acarius said.
“What?” Lex’s heart was suddenly racing.
“They think you’re a demon in service to the evil goddess, Ardis, and that you used your demon powers to blow up half their town and murder a bunch of their people.”
Lex blinked. “What? That’s crazy. I’m not…” He paused. He didn’t really know his past, but he was fairly certain he wasn’t demonic. “I’m not,” he stated again.
Acarius rolled his eyes. “Of course you’re not. Do you think I’d risk my life to save a murderous demon? Believe me, I have better things to do.” He turned and stuffed the sack into one of the saddlebags. “There,” he said, giving the brown horse a pat. “Ready to go.”
“Wait,” Lex said. “I still don’t understand. What do you know about me? About my past? How did you know I’d come here?”
Acarius looked at him. “We didn’t,” he said. “But when we heard what happened in Dalton, we hoped you’d head this way, so that we could help you. We didn’t believe you did the things they claimed.”
Lex’s head was spinning. “And you know about my past? About who I am? Did we… know each other?”
Acarius gave him a sad look. “Not exactly,” he said. “I knew what happened in Dalton, because some of the people who fled the town came through this valley. I knew the farmers would come after you once they heard you were here, but I’d hoped we’d be on our way to Merik’esh before that happened. But more than that… I can’t really say.”
Acarius looked sincere, but something in the back of Lex’s mind nagged at him, an inkling of untruth somewhere in Acarius’ story which he couldn’t place. He set it aside, wanting to think it over more carefully before saying anything. Instead, he asked, “Earlier, I asked you how you knew things were about to explode. You started to answer, but we got interrupted. How did you know?”
Acarius smiled. “That’s an easy one,” he said. “I was born with extra-sensitive ears, and I can hear several decibels higher and lower than most humans.”
“I don’t get it,” Lex said. “How did that help you know something was about to explode?”
Acarius handed Amelia the reins of the chestnut horse and swung himself onto Mare’s back. He was moving more smoothly now, as though his head had eased off, but there was still a cloud of pain behind his eyes. He shrugged. “I could hear the static electricity ramping up in the air, getting shriller. It’s sort of hard to explain, but it happened fast and once I noticed it, it was too late to do anything about it other than yell for you to duck.” His eyes shifted to Amelia for a moment before turning back forward.
Did he think Amelia had something to do with the explosion? Lex thought. Was it possible? Maybe Amelia really was working with the farmers, and had set a bomb to sabotage their escape. He pushed the thought aside. It was true Amelia had lied to him, but assuming she was some kind of enemy spy was crazy. Wasn’t it? Maybe Amelia’s “I’m a spy” joke was one of the few honest things she’d said to him. The thought made a shiver run down his spine.
Lex set thoughts of Amelia aside. Acarius was talking, and Lex knew this was his chance to find out more about himself. Acarius had to know something about Lex, or his visions – after all, he’d been in the last vision Lex had. Together they’d slaughtered dozens of the enemy – dozens of people – without even a second thought. Just as he’d done himself, while the vision controlled him. Lex needed answers. He wasn’t sure he would like what he might learn about himself, but he had to ask. “Did we know each other… before? When I was in my vision, I saw you. We were fighting together.”
Acarius’ face went very still, and he paused a moment before answering. “No,” he said. “Your vision must have been wrong. We’ve never met before you showed up on the hill above my ranch.” His words were measured, as though chosen carefully.
Lex was certain it had been Acarius in the vision, but he decided not to argue that point. He took a different angle. “But then why help us so much?” Lex asked. “Why risk your life for me? And what” –he pulled the pendant out from beneath his tunic– “about this?”
Acarius kept his gaze steady, not giving away any emotions. “There are bigger things at play here than you, Lex. Besides, I told you; the pendant was for good luck. You seemed to need it.”
Lex wasn’t satisfied. There was something Acarius wasn’t telling him, he was sure of it. “You know something,” he insisted. “You knew I could fight, even when I didn’t believe it. I’m still not sure I believe it. And you knew the men were coming for us. You knew everything, and you tried to protect me. Why? Who am I to you?” He was pleading now, desperate to understand something, anything, about his past. “What do you know about me?”
Acarius listened, unreactive. After a moment, he asked, “This vision you had… what exactly did you see?”
Lex described the vision – the battle, a younger Acarius, the old man… the girl. Lex glanced uncomfortably at Amelia while describing the last part. He wondered if the strong feelings about the girl which permeated his visions were coming through in his voice, though he tried not to let them. He didn’t want to make Amelia jealous.
Amelia wandered back over to the horses, but was clearly listening to them even while pretending not to be. Lex was almost disappointed that Amelia showed no reaction to the mention of the girl, then immediately got upset at himself for caring. But his internal debate was interrupted by the fact that Acarius did react.
“Her name is Jana,” he said, his eyes wide. He shook his head, as though in disbelief. “I remember that day. We took down over a hundred of them before the menagerie arrived.”
“The menagerie?” Amelia moved back toward them.
“It wasn’t an actual menagerie, that’s just what we called the reinforcements because they–” He stopped. “It doesn’t matter,” he said, speaking more quickly now, his whole body turned toward Lex. “What else have you seen?”
Lex summarized the visions he’d had so far, leaving nothing out.
Acarius listened intently, then fell silent for a few moments. Finally, he spoke. “I thought you were him, at first. You are so much like… but you aren’t; I knew that as soon as you spoke. But these visions, what do they…” He trailed off.
“What are you saying?” Lex asked, impatient now. “Who did you think I was?”
Acarius muttered to himself in a language Lex didn’t understand, as though thinking out loud. Then he stopped, his eyes snapping back toward Lex. “You have his memories,” he said, his eyes wide with wonder. “Somehow, you’re inhabiting them, as if you’re there.”
“Whose memories?” Lex demanded, his temper mounting. “Tell me what you know!”
Acarius shook his head. “You were not there that day, my friend. The day of the battle. It was only myself, Jana, Nigel, and Marcus.”
“Marcus?” Lex asked. He had seen the others in his vision, but there had been no other person, only Acarius, Jana, Nigel, and… himself. He stopped, realization dawning at the same time dread sank in. He was so close to having answers, but did he truly want to know? He swallowed. “Who is Marcus?”
Acarius paused, as though deciding what to say. “Your brother,” he said finally. “I knew your brother. He was my best friend.”
Lex didn’t know what to say. He had a brother. A brother. The vision of himself holding a small hand rose to memory. “A younger brother?” he asked, trying to make sense of everything. “How old?”
Acarius shook his head. “Not younger. Older.” He paused, and something shifted subtly in his expression as he swept his eyes over Lex. “By at least seven years.”
Lex’s mind was spinning. If his brother was older, then whose hand was he – Wait, he reminded himself. Those are his memories I’m seeing. So then the smaller hand must have been Lex’s, and he was seeing himself holding it through his brother’s ey
es. The visions just got more and more confusing. “If these are really my brother’s experiences, how am I seeing them?” he asked. “I don’t understand.”
“I don’t really understand, either,” Acarius answered. “But it’s the only thing that makes sense. He was the one there with us that day, not you. The visions you’ve had, they’re things he has done, people he knew, places he’s been. Somehow, you’re seeing his memories.”
Lex was frustrated not to understand more of what was happening to him, but at least he finally had a clue to who he was. “Tell me about myself,” he said. “You’re close to my brother; you know my family, right?”
“Yes, but– “ Acarius said.
Lex continued talking, excited now. “Then tell me about me. I don’t remember anything before waking up in Dalton, tied to a chair with those farmers. How did I get there? What happened to me? How do I know how to fight?”
Acarius shook his head again. “I don’t know the answer to any of those,” he said.
Lex halted, confused. “You said my brother was your best friend. You have to know something about me.”
“No,” Acarius said, meeting Lex’s stare with a sad look. “Marcus was estranged from his family. They didn’t speak. But I knew Marcus very well. We lived together, travelled together, fought together. He saved my life… more than once. Jana, the girl in the visions, she and Marcus were in love. She meant everything to him, for a time.”
Lex felt the flood of emotions connected to Jana wash over him yet again. So they were his brother’s feelings. That explained that much of his visions, at least. Whoever Jana was, his brother had truly loved her; he could feel it. It was bizarre to feel so strongly what his brother felt, yet have no memories or feelings of the brother himself. What had happened to Lex’s own memories? How could he remember someone else’s past but not his own? He turned back to Acarius, suddenly hesitant. Something in the way Acarius had answered his last question made Lex afraid to ask the next part, yet he had to. “And me? What do you know about me? You must know something.”
Acarius sighed. “Until a day ago, I didn’t even know you existed.”
Lex turned away, stunned. How was that possible? Why would Marcus have never mentioned him? Was he such an embarrassment to the family that they pretended he didn’t exist? It didn’t make sense. Unless I really am a murderer. The thought chilled him at the same time everything in him rejected it. He didn’t believe he was that kind of person. He couldn’t be. “Then how do you even know I’m his brother?” he asked.
“You must be,” Acarius said. “You look exactly like him. You have his memories, even some of his mannerisms. I can’t begin to explain the memories, but being his brother is the only thing that even remotely makes sense, right?” Acarius placed a hand on Lex’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I don’t know more. When I heard the Daltoners had captured someone who matched Marcus’ description and heard what they were saying about him – about you – I knew you’d be in danger, but I couldn’t believe it was truly Marcus they’d captured. I needed to see for myself. I was just leaving the ranch for Dalton when the forest-tsunami, as you called it, happened… then it stopped and you tumbled down my hill. You do look like him, exactly like he did when we first met.”
Lex felt as lost as ever. He knew something about his family now, about who he probably was, but it only made him more confused. If he really was Marcus’ brother, why hadn’t Marcus told Acarius about him? How had Lex come to be in Dalton, captured by farmers, all alone? Where was the rest of his family? And why did the Daltoners think he was a murderer? He needed answers, now. And he finally knew who to get them from. He turned to Acarius. “Where is my brother?” he said, his voice firm. “I want to talk to him.”
“You can’t,” Acarius said. “He’s dead.”
Lex felt the weight of that reality settle on him. He had only just discovered he had a family, and now– “What happened to him?” he asked.
“He died in battle,” Acarius said softly.
Lex began to ask more, but Acarius stopped him. “I know you have questions, but I don’t know how much longer I have before my head gets worse again. I don’t want you having to carry me into the city, for more reasons than one. And besides, when the farmers don’t return, more from Dalton are sure to come looking for them… and us. I’ll explain more later, I promise, but for now, we need to go.”
“Okay,” Lex said, swallowing his impatience to know more. “Then let’s go.” He knew Acarius was right; his answers would have to wait. Maybe they’d have a chance to talk once they were on the way to Merik’esh.
“We’re heading that way,” Acarius said, pointing past the hills before them. “There’s a dirt road of sorts on the other side of the hills, and once we’re on that, it’s a pretty straight shot to Merik’esh.”
“Will we make it before dark?” Lex asked. The sun was rapidly setting.
“No,” Acarius said, “but I’d like to put some distance between us and the ranch before night hits, then we’ll stop and rest. We can ride the rest of the way in the morning.”
Lex neared the black horse and grabbed its lead. When the horse didn’t protest, he slid his foot into the stirrup. Before mounting, he glanced at Amelia. She was just standing near the brown horse, lost in thought.
“Amelia?” he asked. “You coming?”
Amelia stepped toward him, her eyes pleading. “Lex,” she said, reaching out a hand.
Lex met her gaze with a steely one. He almost felt bad as he saw her face fall in response, but he knew now he couldn’t fully trust her. She lied, she disappeared frequently, and during the fight she spaced out right when they were about to be attacked. He’d assumed she was in shock, but what if she’d simply been unwilling to harm the Daltoners, because she was one of them? How had she found him that night in the woods, anyway? For all he knew, she could be trying to delay their escape so more farmers could reach them. He was beginning to think whoever left him that note had good reason to be suspicious. “We can talk later,” Lex said. “Didn’t you hear Acarius? We need to get away from the ranch.”
He turned his horse after Acarius and Mare, who were already moving ahead.
After a moment, Amelia mounted and directed her horse beside him. “I’m sorry I lied to you,” she said. “But I don’t get why you’re so upset. It’s not like people usually just go around spouting their life stories to people they just met.”
Lex was so sick of people making excuses, of them acting like it was normal to lie and speak in half-truths. And it wasn’t just Amelia, it was Acarius, too. He wanted to trust Acarius, but everything the man said seemed to hide something unspoken. Acarius’ explanations had given Lex more questions than answers, and he still couldn’t shake the feeling Acarius wasn’t being totally honest with him. And Amelia… Lex had wanted so badly to believe she was good, but now he wondered if that hadn’t been entirely the rational part of him speaking. He could feel her presence tugging at something deep inside him, even now, beneath his anger. The fact that she had so much pull over him made him even angrier.
“Ride,” Lex grunted to his horse. He kicked, urging his horse away from Amelia, and his horse gradually increased speed until they had pulled past even Mare and Acarius. Acarius had pointed, and Lex was so sick of following blindly. They can follow me, for a change, he thought. He leaned forward into a gallop, letting the wind envelop him.
CHAPTER 7
After a few minutes, Lex saw the road Acarius had mentioned sprawling out before them. He steered his horse onto it, hearing Acarius and Amelia do the same in the distance behind him. They rode.
When night had fully settled in, Lex slowed his horse to a stop and let the other horses catch up to him. They rode in silence together until Acarius pointed out a small pond on one side of the road. They dismounted and led the horses near the pond to drink, then settled on the ground nearby. Acarius unpacked some food from the bag and handed a bit to each of them. They ate in
silence, a heavy tension between the three of them. Acarius removed some blankets from the saddlebags and passed them out.
When Lex finished his food, he turned away from the others and curled up on the ground, drawing his blanket over him. He knew he was being unfriendly, but he didn’t feel like talking. As he rode, Lex had only grown more upset with the half-truths Acarius and Amelia had both been feeding him. He didn’t trust either of them, but since Acarius seemed to want him alive, at least Lex didn’t have to worry about being killed in his sleep. Probably. Lex rolled over, pulling the blanket around himself more tightly. The ground was hard and the air was chill but the blanket helped, and his body was exhausted. Even with his mind racing, he was soon asleep.
Lex woke early the next morning to the sound of Acarius re-packing the horses. Lex stood and stretched. “Got room for one more blanket?” he asked, holding out the blanket he’d slept under.
Acarius turned and smiled. “Sure.” He took the blanket and stuffed it into a saddle bag.
He looked better than the day before, Lex noticed. The pain in his expression had lessened. And yet, dark circles ringed beneath his eyes and he moved with a weariness.
“Are you alright?” Lex asked.
Acarius nodded. “Just tired,” he said. “My head actually feels a little better.”
“Didn’t you rest?”
Acarius shook his head. “Couldn’t. Concussion, remember?”
“You stayed awake all night?” Guilt washed over Lex as he thought of how quickly he’d fallen asleep, too upset to even talk to the others.
Acarius shrugged. “It’s no big deal. Someone had to keep watch, anyway.”
Lex felt a new round of shame that he hadn’t thought of that before falling asleep, either. In the light of day – and in the light of Acarius’ continued commitment to protecting and helping him, for some reason he still didn’t understand – his anger toward Acarius had abated. Sure, Acarius gave guarded answers, but at least he did answer some of Lex’s questions and so far he hadn’t lied… that Lex knew, anyway. Acarius kept risking himself to help others, which made it hard to be mad at him.
The Edge of Nothing_The Lex Chronicles_Book 1 Page 10
