“Oh,” Lex said. “Why didn’t you ask for help? I’m sure if you told us…” He didn’t know how to finish that statement, so he changed direction. “Maybe Nigel could have done something.”
“I was afraid to tell you,” Amelia said. “I knew what I would have thought if someone told me they stumbled into my world thinking it wasn’t real, flirted with them thinking they were a pretend character, blew up their friend’s house accidentally, abandoned them in the middle of a fight, then came back and still tried to run away from all of it. You’d always looked at me like I was... I don’t know, special. And I didn’t want you to see me the other way.”
“What other way?” Lex asked, leaning toward her.
“As a thief,” she said. “A coward. As what I really am.”
Her eyes turned wet but she kept her gaze on his, waiting to hear Lex’s judgment of her.
What did he think of her? She wasn’t perfect, but… thinking of his own past, of the second chance he’d gotten, of all the pain he’d caused people in both his past life and this one, her mistakes seemed small in comparison. He could finally see beneath the shield she usually held around herself, to the warm, vibrant heart she kept behind it. Lex understood what it felt like not to belong, to be confused and alone and always doing the wrong thing. He never really belonged anywhere, in either of his lives, and he was beginning to see that not knowing who he was extended back beyond his memory loss. He had always felt lost, except with Jana when he was Marcus… and a few times with Amelia, especially today in the battle. But Jana was gone, a fragment of his past, and he was here now with Amelia. Somehow, it seemed this was how it was always meant to be. Marcus had loved Jana, he knew. But he wasn’t entirely Marcus anymore. He had felt Amelia’s presence consume him for a few moments in the courtyard, and it felt… right. Like he was finally home. There was something tying him and Amelia together, he was sure of it, even if he didn’t exactly understand what.
Amelia was still watching him, waiting for him to say something. She didn't have the benefit of a fresh start like he did, a chance to leave the pain behind. She was still carrying the weight of her mistakes.
Lex brushed away a tear on the brink of slipping from her eye. “That’s not what you are,” he said. “People make mistakes. Sometimes innocently, and sometimes because, in the moment, we’re afraid or hurting. People make poor choices. I know I have. But it takes courage to be honest about them. That is who I think you are. Courageous. You saved my life today.”
Amelia gave him a small smile. “Thanks for saying that, but I still feel terrible. I feel like such a fraud. Everyone here thinks I’m some ‘daughter of power,’ but I’m not. I’m just a screwed-up girl from Earth who stole somebody’s portal thing and got stuck in a world of magic. I’m not anything special. And I’ve been lying to everyone from the start. When they all find out, they’re going to hate me. They’ll never be able to trust me.”
“I think they know,” Lex said. “At least some of it. But Amelia, what you can do, it’s not… normal. People who come through from Earth can’t all do what you can do.”
“Really?” Amelia said. “I heard them talk about Jana having some sort of powers, and Nigel is crazy, but he’s brilliant, and so I thought… I don’t know, I thought it was a Superman thing, like I come here and the environment just makes me able to do things.”
Lex squinted at her. “What?”
Her tears had vanished, and she was staring at him. “Could the others who came through really not do this?”
“No,” Lex said. “They couldn’t. I mean, it’s not like there have been a whole lot of you, it’s pretty much just Nigel and Jana, but no. They couldn’t do what you can do. You’re special, Amelia. I think there’s a reason you’re here.”
Her face sank. “Please stop saying that,” she said, her eyes filling with tears again. “I’m not special, Lex. I’ve lied and stolen and pretended to be from Arameth, and – oh, the clothes I stole from Dalton, those people were poor, you know, and it might have been their only spare clothes – and because of me, the Aiacs have killed so many people, and... I’m not worth it, Lex. I’m not. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve–” She stopped.
“You don’t deserve what?” Lex asked.
“I don’t deserve you. You say I saved your life, and I know we’re connected, I can feel it, but I’m not the right person for this. You’re so pure and good, and I’m not, and you’ve been so kind to me, and I’ve just been…”
Lex leaned forward and kissed her.
Her heat surged through him, warming him all over. He leaned in, deepening the kiss.
Amelia kissed him back, and at first it was gentle, but then it grew more intense. Lex felt her presence pulling at every inch of him, begging him to move closer.
He placed his hand on her face and pulled back from the kiss, leaning his forehead against hers. “I should go,” he said.
Amelia blinked at him. “Now?”
“Yes. Now,” Lex said, standing.
“Stay,” Amelia said. She grabbed his hand. “Nothing has to happen,” she said hurriedly, “I just… I’d rather not be alone. You could sleep on the floor. Or the bed, and I’ll take the floor.”
“I can’t,” Lex said, sliding his hand away. “They don’t allow it.” And I can’t trust myself. He leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on her cheek, then turned for the door.
“Lex, wait,” she said. “I know you can’t stay, but I really am scared. Everything is so different here. I’m different. This thing inside me… I just feel so overwhelmed.”
Lex wanted nothing more than to move back toward her, but he held himself still. “I’ll be right outside the door, then,” he said. “Don’t worry. If anything happens, or you get afraid, just call for me. I’ll be there.”
“You’re going to be in the hall all night?” Amelia asked.
“All night,” Lex said. “Don’t worry, I’ll get some pillows and a blanket, and I’ll be comfortable enough. Goodnight, Amelia.”
She looked relieved. “Goodnight,” she said.
Lex slipped out and shut the door behind him.
When he walked into his own room, Acarius and Nigel were already asleep in separate beds. Lex slipped a pillow and a spare blanket off one of them and went back out into the hallway. The guard eyed him as he set up a makeshift bed outside Amelia’s door.
“Do you need assistance?” the guard asked.
“Just staying nearby, you know, in case she needs me.”
“I see,” the guard said, staring blankly at him.
Lex pulled the blanket up over himself and sank down onto the pillow. Despite the hard floor beneath him, he was asleep within moments.
He awoke as the canopy-filtered sun began to peek through the carved windows at the end of the hall, which was still mostly dark. He sat up, his whole body feeling stiff, and stretched his arms above his head. The guard was still eyeing him… or maybe it was a different guard; Lex had been too tired the night before to really pay attention.
“Did you sleep well, Sulanashum?” the guard asked.
Lex nodded, and stood to gather up his pillow and blanket. Should he check on Amelia? Maybe it was better to let her sleep.
A sharp light filled the hall.
“What was that?” the guard said.
It flashed again. Lex turned toward Amelia’s room, but the sliver under her door was still dark. The light had come from Nigel and Acarius’ room.
Lex and the guard raced toward the other door just as Amelia threw her door open. “What happened?” she said, her face panicked. “I thought I felt–”
The guard yanked the door to Nigel and Acarius’ room open, pushing Lex and Amelia back with one arm. “Wait,” he said. “There could be danger.”
Lex could hear a woman’s voice inside the room. “He has your sisters,” the voice was saying. “You have to come!”
Lex tried to look around the guard, but
between the guard’s arm and Nigel and Acarius, who stood between them and the woman, he couldn’t see anything. “Let me through,” he said, shoving the guard’s arm aside.
Acarius and Nigel turned toward him as he barged into the room, both of their faces stiff with shock. Their movement parted the obstruction like an opening curtain, revealing the woman behind them.
Lex froze, staring at her.
Behind him, Lex heard Amelia gasp.
The woman’s mouth dropped open. “Marcus!” she shouted. She flung herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck. “You’re alive!”
Jana.
End of Book 1
Coming soon:
The Lex Chronicles, Book 2 – The Path to Paradox
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This series is the hardest – and most fulfilling – thing I have written to date. I believed in this story from the beginning, but it took me over a decade to finally be ready to write it, and what you just read is the result of a combination of sheer stubborn refusal to give up, lots of coffee, doubt, prayer… and help. There were so many moments when I felt as lost in this story as Lex himself, when I doubted the whole project, buried it for a while, and then pulled it out again and agonized over it, still at a complete loss as to how best to tell the story. This story that began as a spark of an idea over ten years ago is finally written. It has been through so many versions, and has grown and changed… the map and its world are still the same I hand-drew in pencil on a folded piece of paper over a decade ago, but the story it holds is simultaneously so much more than I ever imagined it could become, and yet somehow exactly what I believed it could be. For that, I have no explanation except that I had help… from flashes of inspiration, and from a whole slew of friends and family and support people.
It takes a writer to write a book, and in my case, it takes a village to keep that writer from going crazy in the process. Special thanks to:
My husband, Jason, for protecting my writing time like it was a real job (even when it wasn’t yet making money!), and for listening to all my ideas but never trying to read over my shoulder while I wrote. And to my kids, for the head bumps and encouragement and understanding that my writing time is important to me… and for your absolute, pure belief in me that makes me belief in myself again.
To my alpha readers, Christy Freeman, Beth Burnett, MJ Padgett, and Kimberly McCauley: Thank you for joining me on this crazy train while it was still in motion! You trusted me not to make us all crash and burn. At times, that was probably unfounded, but I love you for it. Your feedback gave me the encouragement to keep going and helped me hone my direction whenever the story began to drift. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
To my beta readers, Christy Freeman, Beth Burnett, MJ Padgett (you three were crazy enough to read parts of it more than once; thank you!), Kate Bryant, Emily Fertic, Marita Crozier, Sara Ramos, my sister Shelley Linder, my aunt Janet Hall, Jenna McCann Reynolds, and Noel Harris … Thank you so much for your input and feedback on this book. You helped me catch errors, you made some stellar suggestions that improved the book so much, and you gave me such incredible, encouraging feedback. Thank you all!
And to my amazing editor, Christy Freeman, who – as you can tell from the multiple mentions – has read this book more than any one person should have to… thank you for listening to me ramble, for getting excited about my work, and for giving me your time and energy to ensure my book goes out into the world with its shirt buttoned and shoes tied. Your support has been such a blessing to me, I don’t even really know how to express it. Thank you again and again and again!
YOU READ MY WORDS, NOW I’D LIKE TO READ YOURS.
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It means more than you might think.
Thank you!
Crystal Crawford
CCrawfordWriting
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The Edge of Nothing_The Lex Chronicles_Book 1 Page 33
