by Kim Law
She missed her mom.
Her mother had been the best in the world.
He put his hand over his mouth as if to hold back any potential scream. What had happened to his daughter? She knew what her mother was like. She used to seek him out when Michelle wouldn’t say a word to her for the entire day. Or when Michelle would blame Jenna for every last thing that had ever gone wrong in her life.
She’d come to him and climb into his lap and beg him to let them run away, just him and her, and never, ever have to see her mother again because Michelle was so mean. Michelle hated both of them—and she’d never made any bones about telling them—and Jenna had become the world’s best at slipping into her own mind and ignoring her mother’s fits, because that’s the only way to survive in a house where her mother lived.
Yet after only nine months away, her mother had been the best mother in the world.
And then he got it—and he almost vomited in the parking lot. Dani had been a lot older when she’d gone through this, but she’d done the exact same thing. Their mother had died when his sister had been eighteen. Carol Wilde’s issues had never been addressed while she’d been living, neither by a professional nor any of the kids, and least of all, not by their dad. And though life at home had been one situation after another of not knowing who their mother would mentally beat down from one day to the next, they’d been the perfect Wilde family whenever in public.
Because of this, they’d all remained confused, feeling not only as if their mother didn’t love them but certain it was their own fault, and desperately wanting that love at the same time.
Carol Wilde had died after years of screwing with everyone’s head, but as the only girl in the family, Dani had taken the brunt of the abuse, because in their mother’s head, she’d seen her own daughter as competition. After Carol’s death, however, Dani became fixated on proving she was good enough. If she’d just do enough, care enough, their dead mother would finally be proud enough.
Due to this, over time, Dani had begun to place their mother on a figurative pedestal. This had gone on for so long she’d literally rewritten what their lives had been like. Dani had turned their mother into something she absolutely had never been in order to assuage her own guilt at not being enough.
And now, his daughter was doing the same thing.
Only Jenna’s mother wasn’t dead, thus Jenna would have many more years to carry the guilt.
Gabe opened his door and climbed behind the wheel, and then he began to shake. His hands trembled so violently he wasn’t sure he’d be able to hold the wheel steady enough to drive them away from there. So he didn’t even try.
He looked in his rearview mirror at his daughter, and then he asked a question he’d hoped never to voice.
“Should we call your mother?”
Her eyes went wide. She’d stopped crying before he’d gotten her into the truck, but the evidence remained. Tear tracks lined her soft cheeks. Her eyes were swollen and red. “Can we?” she asked. Her voice shook with timidity.
He nodded. He suspected they had to. “We’ll go home right now and do it. How does that sound?”
Her nod was slow in coming, but he got the feeling it was more a lack of belief in him actually making the call than it was in concern over talking with her mother. Gabe started the truck and pointed it toward home, and as he neared their house, his daughter spoke from the backseat.
“Thank you, Daddy. I’ve been missing her so much.”
Chapter Twenty
I can’t believe you all got me all of this.”
Dani’s face beamed as she stepped from one shower gift to the next, touching each, even picking a few up and holding them to her face as if she could already smell her own baby wearing them. She and Ben had chosen not to find out the baby’s gender, so while most of the presents were gender neutral, there were some pinks and blues tossed in, as well.
Dani seemed to favor the pink, though, as she’d been carrying around a tiny pink blanket for the last few minutes, and every time she came to a girlie onesie or a pink stuffed animal, her smile took on a more whimsical glow.
She moved from guest to guest now, hugging each and thanking them for coming.
“Arsula.” Dani squeezed her receptionist in a huge hug. “Thank you so much for being here today. And thanks for the dream catcher.” Dani held the hoop of the dream catcher up in front of her, its white and teal feathers dangling down below. “It’s so perfect. It’ll be the first thing we put up.”
Erica watched the action quietly. She was glad she’d come.
Gloria had thrown the baby shower, inviting Erica since Dani and she had become friends, and it had been a true extravaganza. Food had lined the Wildes’ dining room table, while presents had been piled high in the middle of the living room. The house was made over in crepe paper and decorative booties and bells, and the view from the room overlooked the lake. As guests had arrived earlier, they’d marveled upon catching their first glance out the set of floor-to-ceiling windows.
Jenna was there, as well, along with Haley, but the two girls had quickly bored of the grown-up stuff and disappeared up the stairs. Their footsteps and laughter had often been heard as they’d played, but now that the party was coming to an end, both children had made their way back downstairs.
Haley moved to stand with Dani, and Erica found herself watching Jenna as the other voices in the room grew in volume. Jenna and she were currently the only two not actively involved in a conversation, so Erica took it upon herself to end that for both of them. She crossed to Gabe’s child, trying not to let herself wonder about Gabe himself, and scrunched her nose up playfully when the blonde peered up at her.
Jenna grinned wide and bounced from the chair to throw her arms around Erica’s neck. “I was so glad Gramma invited you, Ms. Bird. I told her she had to. Haley did, too.” Then the little girl blushed. “We also told her that you’re the best teacher ever, and we so wish you didn’t have to stop being our teacher.”
Erica’s heart filled with joy. “Thank you for making sure I got invited. I love parties. And thank you for telling your gramma that you like having me as a teacher.”
She lowered to the chair beside Jenna’s, intending to sit next to the little girl, but Jenna climbed onto Erica’s lap. There was definitely something different going on with Gabe’s daughter today.
“And we love having you as our teacher,” Jenna gushed. “But why can’t you stay?”
“Because Mrs. Watts had her own baby just like your aunt Dani soon will, and it’s now time for her to come back to school.” They’d talked about this as a class over the last week, as she tried to ensure the transition went smoothly.
Slight concern filled Jenna’s eyes. “Do you think Mrs. Watts will be as nice as you?”
“I suspect she will be. It would be hard not to be nice when she’s got students as terrific as you.”
The little girl beamed. “I love second grade. It’s been the best ever. I love my dad, too.”
The words caught Erica off guard. Not that she didn’t believe the sentiment, but because since she’d been in Birch Bay, Jenna hadn’t once expressed it out loud.
“How is your dad?” Erica asked hesitantly. She hadn’t intended to ask. She hadn’t heard from him at all in the last week, and it would be easier to get through the afternoon—as well as her final week of school—by having nothing to do with him.
But since Jenna had brought him up . . .
“He’s great.” Her smile remained bright. “His football team won again Friday night, and he says that if they win this week and next week, then they’ll be playing for a really big trophy and will be the best in the whole state.” She sighed. “I hope they win.”
“Does it matter to you if they don’t?”
Had she been wrong in thinking that Gabe’s prowess as a coach wasn’t what would win Jenna over?
“What do you mean?” Jenna asked.
“I guess I’m asking if it’ll make you su
per happy if he wins the big trophy. Will it make you love him even more?”
She held her breath at the leading question.
“It’ll make me so happy because it’ll make my daddy happy. And I want him to be happy.” Her words softened, and Jenna suddenly patted Erica’s cheek. “I want you to be happy, too,” she whispered, her face now close to Erica’s. “I’m sorry he argued with you and that you guys aren’t talking now.”
The words floored Erica. “You know we’re not talking?”
She’d considered marching across the street several times during the last week and telling the stubborn jerk of a man to quit being angry with her. They’d simply had an argument. It didn’t have to be the end of them. But she hadn’t done it because she feared nothing had changed.
“I do, but I don’t think he likes not talking to you, because he’s been so grumpy all week.” Jenna grimaced. “But that might have been my fault, too. I’ve been kind of bad.”
“Why were you bad?”
“I don’t know. I was just so angry.” Her face brightened. “But I’m not angry now, because my momma is coming to see me tomorrow.”
“Your . . .” Erica had no words.
What had happened across the road during the past week?
Jenna’s pigtails bounced. “We called her last night and talked to her for a long time. Daddy talked to her first, but then I did, too, and she was so happy to talk to me. Daddy said he’d buy her an airplane ticket if she’d come see us, and she said she’d get on one today.” Jenna clapped her hands together. “She’ll be here tonight.”
Tonight.
Michelle Wilde would be in town tonight.
The knowledge should have made Erica happy. It’s what Jenna needed. Yet instead, it put a cloud of dread inside her. Not for Jenna’s sake, but for hers and Gabe’s. She’d been fine that last week. Even accepting that she might have killed all hope for the two of them by insisting Gabe was wrong.
But deep down, she supposed she’d thought they might still work through it.
With his wife coming to town, though, it suddenly felt done. He could change his mind about Michelle. About their divorce. Michelle might have learned from her mistakes. Would she change for him?
“I can’t wait to see her again,” Jenna sighed, and Erica realized she hadn’t replied to the announcement.
“I’m sure you can’t, sweetheart. I hope it’s a terrific visit.”
“Do you want to meet her?”
Again, Erica was taken aback.
“She’s going to be staying with us, so I could bring her over to meet you.”
“I, ummm, maybe that should be your daddy’s call, Jenna.” The last thing Erica wanted was to meet Gabe’s wife.
“Then you probably won’t meet her.” A frown turned the corners of Jenna’s mouth down. “Not unless he stops being grumpy with you.”
“You’re probably right.” She scrunched her nose up at the little girl again. “But that’s okay. I’m going to be really busy this week, anyway, getting everything ready for your new teacher to come back. So you just focus on having fun with your mother and don’t worry about me, okay?”
“Okay.”
Haley yelled for Jenna then, her voice coming from upstairs once more, and the girl climbed from Erica’s lap. “I’m going to tell my daddy he’s wrong for not talking to you.”
And then she was gone.
Erica was left sitting alone, realizing that most of the guests had either left or moved to the deck out back, so she rose to do the same. Only before she made it through the living room, the women outside parted as if God himself had shown up, and Erica looked up to find a dark-haired, six-foot, seriously hot Gabe Wilde striding through the middle of them. He caught her eye before hitting the back door, and when he entered the house, Erica forgot to breathe. He looked so fierce.
“Are you here for Jenna?” she asked when he stopped in front of her. “She just went—”
“I need to talk to you first.”
She nodded in agreement, her heart pounding, then she turned and followed him down the hall. Once they were sufficiently hidden away from the remaining crowd, he just looked at her. He didn’t say anything at first, but in his eyes she recognized the same blend of hope and sorrow that she knew to also be in hers.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, needing to go first. “I’m sorry we fought. That we disagree.”
“I’m sorry I’ve not seen you all week.”
Relief washed through her. “What went on this last week, Gabe? Jenna is so different today. And she says her mother is coming.”
“Michelle will be here sometime late tonight.” He reached out and took her hands. “Jenna had a blowup yesterday. At the Pancake House, of all places. It ended only when the cops came.”
“The police?” Her eyes rounded. “What happened?”
“Basically, a huge fit.” His face remained grim. “She played the my-daddy-is-mean-to-me card for sympathy, and it backfired when everyone in the place came to her defense. But when the cops showed”—hurt filled Gabe’s eyes as he squeezed her hands—“she had a flashback to that morning in LA, and the result of that ended up being me calling Michelle. I finally get that her not seeing her mother has caused more damage than good. She was building Michelle up into something she’s never been. I watched the same thing happen with my sister, but the similarities never hit me until yesterday.”
“So, what does all this mean?” Fear mixed with hope. “You’re bringing Michelle here to prove Jenna wrong?” That didn’t sound very fatherly.
“I’m bringing Michelle here because she’s Jenna’s mother. I don’t trust her judgement, and honestly, I still think she’s up to something. I just have no idea what. I’d truly like to believe she simply misses her daughter, but that’ll have to be proven to me. Jenna is excited, though, and that’s what matters right now. Possibly she and her mother can have some sort of relationship going forward, even if it’s not a perfect one. I can go to California with Jenna in the summers, or I could bring Michelle here.” Sincerity rolled off him. “Michelle hated Montana when we lived here, so I don’t see her ever coming back. Whatever the case, though, I’ll do what it takes for Jenna to be happy. This is the first step. We’ll see what happens, then Jenna and I will go from there.”
Erica’s eyebrows raised. “Jenna and you? Does that mean you’re going to let Jenna be a part of the decision?”
“I am.” He pressed his lips together before continuing. “It occurred to me that I was seven once, too. And my mother controlled every decision in my life, both then and in the years to come.” He twined his fingers through hers. “I hated her for that. I never wanted to tell you that part of me. It made me feel weak the way she overpowered me. I didn’t want you seeing me that way.”
“But it’s understandable, Gabe. She was your mother. You were a kid.”
“Not the whole time. I was seventeen when she died.”
“You were a kid.”
“I wasn’t when I married Michelle. Yet I allowed her to do the same. Control me, either through words or threats.” Hatred filled his eyes. “She may have gotten away with it with me, but I won’t let her do that to Jenna. And I’m telling you that I fear that outcome. It’s why I let everything ride when Michelle simply went silent. Why I prefer she stay out of Jenna’s life. But if I’m there when Jenna is with her, if I’m keeping an eye on things”—he squeezed her hands again, and this time tugged her a step closer—“Jenna and I will figure this out together, and we’ll be stronger for it. I believe that. Now tell me that you and I are okay, too.” He tugged her closer still. “I need for us to be okay.”
She didn’t bother swiping at the tears in her eyes. “We’re okay.”
A shaky breath escaped Gabe as he pulled her into his arms. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” She peered up at him, allowing her joy in the moment to show. “Jenna tells me you’ve been grumpy this week.”
He snorted. “Jenna hasn’t exactly been a piece of cake herself.”
“She told me that, too.” Erica touched his cheek. “She’s so different today, Gabe. I almost couldn’t believe it.”
“She’s herself again.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “And I’ve never been more grateful for anything.” He pulled back and looked down at her. “We’re really okay, you and I? We can try this thing?”
“You’re sure you and Michelle . . .”
“You know she’s nothing to me.”
“I just don’t want to be in the middle of anything,” she murmured. “The other woman.”
“You’re not the other woman. You weren’t even with your ex. He was your husband.”
“Not two months ago, he wasn’t.”
Gabe stroked his thumbs over her palms. “But he wasn’t hers, either. I’ve got a final court date in four weeks, Erica. My marriage ended a long time ago, and my lawyer assures me the date won’t be moved again. This divorce is happening. No matter what comes from Michelle’s visit.”
She found herself far more relieved to hear the words than she’d expected.
“Now tell me we can go out on a date,” he continued. “And when. Dinner? Football? This week’s game isn’t at home, but it’s close and we’re playing our biggest rival.” He reeled her in another inch and whispered, “Come with me. Be there for me.”
She wanted to be there for him. “How long is Michelle staying?”
“I don’t know. We decided to play it by ear.” His eyes pleaded with her. “Does it matter?”
“I’d hate to confuse Jenna. Maybe it’s best if I stay away until her mother is gone. Let Jenna focus on Michelle this week, okay?” She hated the thought, but she knew it was the right thing to do. “She needs this time.”
Gabe started to argue, but he stopped before saying anything. She could sense his acceptance.
“It’s not fair,” he said. “I want time with you.”
