by Donna Alam
‘There. Satisfied?’
‘Not yet, but I have high hopes.’ One knee hits the bed.
‘Why? What have you got planned?’ I ask, my hands feeding themselves above my head. Kai doesn’t miss my movements, smiling like he knows exactly what I’m thinking.
‘That would be telling.’ He trails his fingers down the sensitive underside of my arm, causing me to shiver deliciously. ‘Maybe I don’t want you to know quite yet.’
If I wasn’t shivering before, I certainly am now. Those tantalising words hang in the air as he slides his body along mine. His erection presses into my thigh.
‘I’m going to miss you so much. I’ll be gone when you wake.’
‘Suppose you better make it up to me now, then,’ I say seductively. Hopefully.
His soft chuckle brushes air across my breast, my nipple standing taut, begging for his touch.
‘Have you ever had phone sex?’ he asks, as his lips lower to my chest.
‘You haven’t gone yet.’ I begin to giggle, my mind filled with the ridiculous—not that I’m unfamiliar with the concept—but an image flashes behind my eyes of me using my phone on vibrate.
‘Answer the question.’ One hand feeds upwards to hold mine, the other skims my waist as he teasingly dips his head again.
‘No,’ I confirm, my giggles halting as I gasp when his tongue darts out, wet and warm, against my pebbled flesh. ‘I haven’t,’ I rasp, my nipple now caught between his teeth. The teeth tighten.
‘Why?’ he demands after releasing and licking the pinched flesh. ‘And open your eyes. You know you like to watch.’
I blink my eyes, not realising I had closed them; a blush crawling up my chest a moment later. Because he’s quite correct. Closing them was more a sensory thing.
‘J-just never happened. Never seemed like much of a point.’
‘Anticipation, kitten.’ His teeth trail my jaw, lips feathering the side of my mouth. ‘It’s sweetness and it’s pain. Those moments when we’re apart, separated by continents, with only the echoes of touch for company.’ He kisses me then, all warm soft lips, but it’s all too brief before breaking contact to slide his hips between my legs. ‘In that moment, we’ll be together, recalling biting kisses.’ He follows his words with the same. ‘Sharp gasps.’ I do just that as he rocks his pelvis into me.
‘Oh god.’ I tilt my hips, moving my legs wider as though I could draw him in, my insides now a liquid heat.
‘So we’ll talk. Daily. And then you’ll do as I ask,’ he says softly. Affirmatively.
‘I will?’ Oh god, I will.
‘When I tell you to touch yourself, you’ll do it. Your hand will be mine.’
‘Touching,’ I repeat, not making much sense as I become a molten puddle on the bed.
‘You’ll be on one side of the world, and I’ll be on the other. This will be our connection.’
‘Each with our hands down our pants.’
His head nods against mine, his tongue working its magic against that most tender place where shoulder and neck join.
‘So you’ll be touching yourself, too?’ I ask a little breathlessly
‘Maybe. Maybe you’ll have to watch to find out.’ My heart stills at the prospect: Kai with his cock in his hand. Heaven.
‘I thought we were doing this by phone?’ I whisper.
‘Does it matter?’ he asks, pressing himself into my centre again.
‘No,’ I whisper, flexing back against him. ‘I can do that.’
‘I don’t doubt it, sweetheart.’ He kisses me fully then, his weight a delicious pressure between my legs. Tongues tangle and teeth graze as Kai slides both hands up my body, slipping my hands into his. ‘You’ll mean well, but I doubt your commitment.’
‘Commitment?’ I repeat. The slight questioning inflection is by accident. Right now, all I care about is getting him inside me.
‘Mm-hm.’ I feel the vibration of this rather than actually hear. ‘Because you’re all about the moment. Instant gratification.’
He rocks his hips and I moan, biting my lip, desperate not to beg. As I look up into his face, the bastard is smiling.
‘See what I mean? Those moments, they’ll scratch the itch, but they won’t be enough. And you’ll be desperate for more.’
‘Doesn’t that work both ways?’ I whisper breathlessly.
‘Kitten, remember. I want to be the source of all of your pleasure.’
‘And my pain.’ I’d been so turned on when he’d told me; when he’d began to help me see any act of sexual submission to him as an act of will, not an escape from it.
‘Sensual pain. And that’s how this will be. I’ll give you your pleasure—’
‘Or you’ll take it away.’
‘My darling girl.’ He looks down at me as though I’ve just said something adorably cute. ‘I knew you’d understand.’
Understand?
‘So you’ll . . .’ Stop me from, you know?
‘I’ll decide how you come. And when.’ Like usual, then.
‘I’m not—what happens if—’
‘You’ll be punished.’ This he says with a wicked gleam and another flex of his hips. ‘I’m rock hard just imagining it. You’ll be so desperate; swollen lips, your clit shiny and fat, and desperate for my tongue.’
‘How will you tell?’ I rasp, beginning to writhe under him. The imagery, his voice, his words, hell, his command, pushing all my buttons at once. If I could only just get him to move a little, he’d be rubbing against one button in particular . . .
‘Because you’ll show me. As your nails scrape the sheets in absolute desperation, you’ll spread yourself for me, desperate to share. Begging me for relief.’
An uncomfortable thought suddenly occurs.
‘Is that why I’m wearing underwear?’ I almost whine.
Please, please, please don’t let this be starting right now.
‘No.’
‘Oh.’ Oh?
‘You’ll crave me.’ It isn’t a question he breathes into my ear, which it just as well, as I couldn’t answer it anyway. Not verbally, at least.
Kai slides one hand down my body, beginning to tease the elastic at my hip. In the absence of words, of thought, I nod, which seems affirmation enough as he moves his hand between us, sliding under the elastic.
‘Oh god,’ I call out, my body surging upwards, pressing into the palm of his hand as his fingers seek entrance between my lips. Teasing, swiping his fingers back and forth, and spreading my wetness against the black lace.
‘You’re so sweet.’ His words are a strained groan. ‘I can smell how much you want this.’
Fuck a duck; that’s so dirty and yet so sexy to hear. Conflicted, I begin to twist under him, trying desperately to hide my blush, desperate for him.
‘You’re so fucking wet and needy. And I want you.’
‘Yess,’ I hiss, pushing into him again.
‘Tell me you need me.’
‘I do.’ Two tiny words, barely a breath.
‘Tell me who this belongs to,’ he demands, two fingers sliding the length of me.
‘You,’ I rasp, my hands beginning to thrash against the bed. ‘Yours.’
‘What’s mine, kitten?’
‘I am,’ I repeat, rising higher, desperate to be filled. By his fingers. By his cock.
‘What about this?’ Those two fingers dip into me, but not enough. I hear a sound leave my mouth; almost a keening as he continues. ‘Tell me this is mine.’
‘It is.’
‘Tell me,’ he demands. Yes, it’s a demand, and his eyes burn like molten amber, but there’s that almost ever-present hint of amusement lurking in his tone. He wants to embarrass me, push my boundaries. Make me blush. ‘I want to hear you say the words.’
‘It’s yours, Kai,’ I pant, almost lost to my sense of shame or embarrassment. There’s just my want and need of him. ‘My-my—’ Sex? Slit? Vag? ‘—my pussy is yours.’
‘That’s right, kitten,’ he says, his s
inful smile free.
Removing his hand, my knicker elastic hits my skin with a slight snap. My legs stiffen and my jaw is clenched; at this glacial pace, we’ll both be rubbed raw before we get to finish. He flexes into me again, hard and undulating above me, exposing the delicious column of his neck, and all I can think is I want to place my mouth there, my teeth.
‘This pussy is mine,’ he growls above me. ‘And I’m going to eat it.’ With this, he slides his body down, until he’s there, between my legs.
‘Oh my god.’
My breath halts as he moves my underwear aside, his fingers dipping into my wetness and parting me. His mouth is like an arrow, and my centre its bullseye; one brush of his tongue against the swollen point of my clit and I’m ready to come undone, almost immediately.
But that would be too easy. For Kai, anyway.
His soft lips and tongue work me slowly, his licks and kisses drawing my climax closer, only to move back again, like waves not quite hitting the shore as he slows his pace.
I’m left almost breathless. Desperate. Moaning for more.
Soft words blow over my heated centre as he whispers how good I look, splayed out, all twisted with need. How delicious I taste. How he can’t wait for me to come on his tongue.
‘Please, Kai.’ I beg. I plead as his mouth now teases with purpose, with fervour, until I feel I’m fit to bleed from all the layers of sensations; soft lips and kisses, the abrasion of nipping teeth and stubble on sensitive skin. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going, quite literally.
Until I do.
‘Please, please, please.’ Like an unholy litany, I chant. ‘Just fuck me, please.’
Then he’s there, over me, but not within. Black lace back between my legs, his cock rubbing and sliding against the fabric covering my wet length as I come.
‘Get on your knees,’ he rasps as I begin to still, externally anyway, my insides continuing to pulse emptily. ‘Pull down your underwear. Now,’ he adds, as I just stare up at him.
As I process his words, I scramble up onto my knees to do just that, all fingers and clumsy thumbs. Rolling to the side, he props his head on one hand to watch. My crotch level with his head, I’ve pulled my knickers down as far as mid-thigh when he stills me with a hand on my hip. His golden eyes are focused between my legs, a muscle jumping in his jaw.
‘What is it?’ I ask, threading my hands into his hair.
He doesn’t speak. Instead, he pulls me down by my waist, pulling me to him as he lies back on the bed. His kiss is deep and hungry, my face now tight in his hands.
‘I’m going to miss you,’ he says eventually, his voice so soft.
I scarcely have time to answer before he lifts me, pushing my knickers off the rest of the way. Kai slides my legs wide as he lifts me to straddle him, my hand slipping between our bodies to direct my descent. His eyes close as my body accepts him, and as he fills me, my moan is long and soft, as though the presence of him inside has expelled all the air from my chest. His hands against my hips, he’s completely still, his expression one of agony and ecstasy; a look that’s almost bittersweet.
I shift against him, the tiniest of motions, and Kai exhales a strained groan. He uses his hands to lift me, his hips rising from the bed to meet my descent, and as my breath catches on that first thrust, Kai pulls me to his mouth, devouring and inhaling, feeding me back my breath from his.
The pace changes again, a moment of hard gasps and thrusts, of ragged and violent collisions as Kai pushes my chest from his, his fingers tight on my hips as he impales me again and again. It’s hard, fast and punishing. It’s fucking great.
‘Don’t,’ I pant. I can’t catch my breath to get the rest out. Don’t stop.
‘Don’t,’ he repeats, his expression tight, his voice a dangerous growl. ‘Are you telling me how I can use my cunt?’
Talk about upping the ante. I close my eyes as though he can see how this one tiny word, bundled in his hard consonants, blooms inside me.
‘I think you like that,’ he growls. ‘You like that this cunt is mine. Open your eyes and tell me.’
It’s not like we’ve stopped at this point; my hips are pinioned while his still piston. And, okay, I’m helping. I’m also shaking my head.
De-Nile, ain’t just a river in North Africa, habibti.
‘Liar.’ I can hear the smile in his words. Surging upwards, he rolls me onto the mattress. Pressing himself over me, our hips clash hard again. ‘Want to know how I know?’ he asks all growly and rough, his palms flat next to my head.
‘Shut the fuck up and kiss me,’ I demand.
‘Such a dirty mouth, Mrs. Khalfan. Maybe I should fill it for you? And I might if this cunt didn’t feel so good. Fuck.’ He grunts as my insides flex. ‘That’s amazing.’
Almost delirious, I moan, sliding my legs around his waist. Kai grabs my hands, pulling them above my head, granting me a perfect snap of his hips again. With each thrust, I rock up to meet him until I’m not sure where or how pleasure peaks and pain blends.
Kai comes with his next hard thrust. Pushing into me, and pushing me over the edge, pleasure radiating outwards to my chest, toes and fingertip.
Collapsed against me, our sweat shining skin makes our bodies slick. As a sudden gust of central air breathes across my damp skin, I shiver, Kai’s arms tightening around me, banding me to him.
‘You’ll take care.’ His voice is soft, almost hesitant. ‘You’ll be here.’
‘And you’ll be someplace else.’
‘You’ll be here. When I get back. Won’t you?’
The catch in his question makes my heart ache. I swallow past the lump in my throat and nod, not able to speak.
‘Promise,’ I whisper eventually, feeling worse he releases a held breath. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’
Chapter Seventeen
Days pass, blurring into one long ache, the absence of Kai almost a physical thing. I know I’d still miss him if I had work to occupy me every day, but at the minute, with nothing to entertain me and no Kai around, it seems so much worse.
This visa issue is such a pain. So, I can’t work or travel—this I already knew—but since Kai left on his business trip, I’ve also discovered that without a valid visa, my local driving licence is invalid. It’s such crap! At least I have Rashid to get about, even if it is a bit awkward. I mean, anyone would think he’s my bodyguard, like he’s been charged with protecting me. I can’t open doors by myself and can’t carry bags. And to be quite honest, it’s driving me nuts. But it’s better than catching the bus.
I talk to Niamh when I can, but of course, she has a job. She also lives a ways away and is dating the roommate of a person I feel certain I should avoid. Matt. She’d told me when she’d mentioned my marriage to him, he’d looked like he was going to explode, storming out of the room at the first opportunity. She also said there looked to be a small dent in the wall outside the door the next day, suspiciously knuckle-shaped. I’m not sure if she’s being a drama queen, but I suppose it’d be best to avoid him, just in case. It was the reason I’d taken Kai up on his suggestion that Rashid accompany me back to my flat while I collected the rest of my things. Not that there was much to pack; mainly fancy undies and stuff like that.
But yes, I’ve been bored. There’s only so much you can read, believe it or not, and only so many hours you can devote to TV. I’ve had lunch with Mishael a few times in the two weeks Kai has been gone, but I don’t want to be the needy weight hanging around her neck. The woman has her fingers in so many philanthropic pies, I feel guilty distracting her. Plus, she’s offered to oversee our wedding plans, which came as a huge relief, because I wouldn’t know where to start out here. Left to me, we’d probably have soggy sandwiches and cheap fizz, and I’d probably be wobbling down the aisle in a pair of jeans, because I’m pretty sure Kai would go ape if I suggested wearing the dress I planned to marry Shane in.
I think I have wedding fatigue. After all, I’ve already planned one wedding this year.
The one that didn’t go ahead. Mishael is being an absolute darling, though she was pretty bummed when she discovered she and I wouldn’t be heading to Paris to order my dress because of my visa issues. It would’ve been couture, too. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel the same. But in true Mishael fashion, she’s decided the mountain can travel to Mohammed as long as I’m on lockdown. I’ve already had my first appointment with a designer who’s been flown in from Milan. Just for me.
I feel a bit like Beyoncé.
Less booty, but just as glam.
Bitch, after this taxi ride, you’d better have wine.
I’m stoked because Niamh is coming to see me today. Apparently, she’s having a shitty cab ride.
When the doorbell rings shortly afterwards, I barely get half way down the stairs before my ever—never?—friendly helper beats me to it. She leaves Niamh on the wrong side of the half-open front door as she shuffles away.
‘Who the hell was that?’ Stepping into the hall, Niamh closes the door behind her as I reach the bottom stair.
‘That was the delightful Martha,’ I reply, crossing the hallway.
‘Arthur?’
‘Martha,’ I repeat, as the said delight slams a door somewhere distantly.
‘Nah, too many chin hairs. She’s got an awful puss on her.’
I halt in my tracks. ‘She got a what?’ I shake off the madness that made me just hear Niamh mention that woman’s wrinkly old nether regions.
‘She’s got a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle.’
‘A-ha-ha. Miserable, yes. You don’t know the half of it.’
Miserable? Try murderous. Christ knows what the cow has against me. In front of Kai, she’s been nothing but sweetness. Though I did notice she doesn’t answer in English, even when Kai addresses her so. For some reason he hasn’t noticed the mode of her reply. It seems petty to point it out, even if it gets my goat.
It’s the same reason I haven’t told him that she’s become the biggest pain in my arse now that he’s not around. Or that she goes out of her way to make my time in the house generally difficult.
First, there was the TV remote from the snug. It seems to go walk-about continually. None of the others have the same issue, just the one from the place I’ve taken to prefer. Next she chased me out of the laundry room, snatching the basket out of my hands with a hiss, before she washed all of my new undies with a pair of jeans. Seriously expensive lingerie now floor-cloth-grey. Very derro chic. When I tried to tell her not to wash my clothes from now on, that I’d take care of my own laundry, she feigned not to understand. Funny that.
