by J. Bengtsson
“Mom please understand…I love you and respect your opinion but I’m staying in Europe with Jake for the summer and nothing you say will change my mind.”
“How are you going to pay for this European trip, Casey?”
“I’m not, Jake is.”
Mom sighed then said, “This relationship…maybe it’s going somewhere…I don’t know, but what I do know, Casey, is that your future is your education. You need that summer money to help us pay for your school. Your dad and I can’t pick up the slack. You know after his surgery he hasn’t been able to work.”
“I know and I promise you, my education won’t suffer. I’ll be back in mid-August to prepare for the upcoming school year and I’ll graduate next spring as planned, I guarantee you that. As for the money, Jake has taken care of it. He transferred $6000 into my bank account this morning. That will pay the rent for the next two months and keep me solvent until I can start school again.”
“He loaned you $6000?”
“Not loaned…gave.”
“He just gave you $6000?”
“Yes, mom. He’s a multi-millionaire. $6000 is like pocket change for him.”
“Casey…please…this is…think about what you’re doing. You’re too smart to throw everything away for a guy. I see the appeal. I do. He’s handsome and charming. He’s famous and he’s a rock star. I get all that. But, Casey, he’s a fling.”
“That’s the thing, mom, I don’t think he is. I think…I think he’s the one.”
My mom didn’t reply to that statement. After a few moments of silence I said, “I’m sorry if you don’t agree with my decision, mom, but I’m not changing my mind. Maybe I’ll get hurt but I’m willing to take that risk. I feel…I feel like, if I don’t take a chance on this relationship…I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. When I’m fifty and looking back on the summer of my 23rd year, what would I rather that memory be of…traveling through Europe with my gorgeous rock star boyfriend or working shifts at Outback Steakhouse? I love you and dad. I want you to be happy and support me but ultimately it’s my decision and I’ve made it.”
There was silence on the line. “Mom?”
“I’m here.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. Just a little shocked.”
“Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad…it’s just…it’s hard to support this when we haven’t even met Jake. He’s a musician, Case, they don’t have the best reputations. What if he gets tired of you and just abandons you somewhere in Europe? How would you get home?”
“Jake is sincere and he would never leave me stranded. Mom can’t you please trust my judgment? You always said I had a good sense for people. Why does Jake have to be any different?”
Mom seemed to be considering what I said. Finally she sighed and said, “You’re right. You have good judgment and if you believe in him, then we just have to trust that you’re making the right decision. I just hope he understands how much you mean to us.”
“He does mom.”
“I need to be able to get in touch with you at all times.”
“Jake is going to put international calling on my phone. That way, if you call me from the home phone, there will be no charge to you.”
“Is he there now?”
“Jake? Yeah…he is in the other room.”
“I want to talk to him.”
“What? Mom, no.”
“Yes. Casey. Put him on the phone.”
“Oh God.” I said and opened the door. I walked into the other room. Jake looked up at me and I said, “My mom wants to talk to you.” Jake’s face dropped. He looked horrified. I almost laughed. Jake mouthed, ‘what do you want me to say’. I shrugged as I put the phone on speaker.
“Hello?” Jake said into the receiver.
“Hi Jake, this is Linda, Casey’s mom.
“Hi.”
“I asked to speak with you because I need you to make me a promise.”
“Okay.”
“No matter what, you’ll keep my daughter safe.”
“I promise I will. We will be staying in nice hotels in safe areas so you don’t need to worry. You have my word that nothing bad will happen to her.”
“Good because she means the world to us.”
“I know she does. And she will be safe with me.”
“Okay. And if anything happens and you’re no longer together you have to promise me that Casey will have the ability to get to an airport and fly home to us.”
“Don’t worry about that. Casey has an open-ended airline ticket in her name. She can go home whenever she wants.”
“Oh…that’s good.”
“Listen Linda. I just want you to know that I wouldn’t ask Casey to stay with me and upend her life in Arizona if I didn’t really care for her. I know how this probably looks to you because of who I am but I want you to know that my intentions are honest.”
“You have no idea how happy that makes me to hear that. I appreciate you telling me how you feel.”
“And when I get off tour, I’ll come and meet you.”
“I look forward to that. Thank you for taking care of my daughter.”
“Yeah, of course. I promise Casey will be fine.”
“Okay. Thank you. Goodbye, Jake.”
“Bye. Here is Casey again.”
Jake handed the phone back to me with a thumbs up. I smiled.
Chapter Eighteen
Jake
I couldn’t believe how happy I was when Casey agreed to stay. The last couple days had been beyond my expectations. Not only did we get along great but also the sex was incredible. For the first time in my post Ray life, I felt excited for my future…like I was headed in the right direction with a woman who made my heart beat faster and made me feel like I was a pretty frickin’ awesome guy. And the more time I spent with Casey the more confidant I felt about our relationship.
Before my Sunday concert, I took Casey to Harrods so she could buy some clothes. Although I offered to buy her anything she wanted, Casey was careful with her choices. This was a girl who was used to living on a budget and didn’t feel comfortable spending too much money. I respected her wishes. After the store, we headed to the arena. This last concert was a matinee performance and then we would be back on the road for the UK portion of the tour.
Chapter Nineteen
Casey
Jake’s final London concert was a blast. Because Angela and Lauren had come faithfully to every show, Jake surprised them with artist passes for the final performance. They were able to hang out in the greenroom and watch the last concert from the side of the stage. To say they loved it would be an understatement. They gushed over both Jake and I…but mostly Jake. They told him over and over how wonderful he was. I certainly didn’t disagree. When it came time to say goodbye to Angela and Lauren and head on to the next city, I was surprised that I was actually sad to see them go. They were always going to be a part of this incredible weekend!
But, for me, the fun wasn’t ending. I got to spend the whole summer touring with my rockstar boyfriend! I was still wrapping my head around it all. Jake wanted me to stay. He wanted me to be his girlfriend. I felt so happy…and lucky. So when I boarded Jake’s tour bus for the first time at the arena after the show, I was giddy with excitement. No matter where our relationship took us, I felt certain that this would be the adventure of a lifetime.
The bus was frickin’ amazing. Walking inside it was like walking into another world…where rich people lived. The interior was maple wood and with black leather furniture, granite counters, and hard wood floors. Cool track lighting illuminated the interior. Every convenience of home was aboard this bus. I walked around in awe. This place was incredible. Jake’s room had a queen size bed, exercise equipment, and a bathroom and shower. He had a keyboard and recording equipment and various musical instruments. It was so ‘rockstar’ cool.
“Wow, Jake. I’m impressed.”
Jake smiled. “Your bag should be in the bedroom.”
“Yeah, I saw it.”
All the sudden an older, sour-looking man came up behind Jake. Lassen. Jake had warned me about him and said that he might not be very personable to me. He explained that Lassen was protective of him and that I shouldn’t take it personally if he wasn’t overly friendly.
“Casey, this is Lassen, my driver.”
“Hi,” I smiled widely and went in to shake his hand.
He took it and said gruffly, “Good to meet ya.”
“You too.”
Lassen nodded. “I’ll stay out of your way as much as possible.”
“And I’ll do the same,” I smiled.
“I can work with that,” Lassen replied.
We took off for the next city that night. It was a quick two-hour trip to Birmingham. The buses would stay the night in the arena parking lot. I asked Jake why he stayed in a hotel sometimes and in the bus others. He explained that it depended on how much time would be spent in the city and how long the bus ride was between the cities. Usually if it was two nights or more, than they got a hotel room.
“But…”
“I know what you’re going to say!” Jake burst out, smiling. “We are going to be in Birmingham for two nights.”
I grinned. That was exactly what I was going to say.
“Since we just had three nights in a hotel and we will have two nights in a hotel at the next stop, we decided this one would be a bus leg. A few years ago, pretty much every leg was a bus leg but now that I’ve multiple concerts in different cities, we are getting spoiled.”
“Right because travelling in luxury buses is such a drag,” I joked.
“This one isn’t. But imagine one with 12 other guys. I guarantee you, it isn’t luxury,” Jake laughed. “Most of the time the toilet is clogged. There is a permanent sweaty sock smell in the air and the couches…I’m not kidding…they are sticky.”
“Eww…God. Gross.”
Jake shrugged. “I’m just saying.”
“Guys are disgusting…present company excluded.”
Jake nodded. “Hey, I’m starving. You want me to make you a sandwich?”
“We just ate,” I laughed. There was always a big spread in the green room after the concert.
“I know but I’m hungry again. I burn like a thousand calories on stage. Those lights are frickin’ hot.”
“I’ll make you a sandwich,” I offered.
“You know how to cook?”
“You don’t cook a sandwich, dork,” I laughed.
“I know that,” he rolled his eyes. “I meant in general.”
“I can cook the essentials. And I make a mean salad. Otherwise I’m useless in the kitchen. Why? Can you cook?”
“I can make pretty much anything out of a box or a bag,” Jake said proudly.
“Nice. So multi-talented,” I grinned.
“Uh-huh, right.”
Jake and I made his sandwich together but he got more on it than he bargained for since I kept adding stuff from the refrigerator just to annoy him. We kind of got into a little bit of a food fight when I ‘accidently’ flicked a piece of turkey onto his arm. That turkey was then thrown back and forth a number of times before Jake caught it and shoved it in his mouth. Hey, at least he wasn’t a germ-a-phob!
As Jake ate, we sat at the little table and talked. We had such an easy rapport. Jake was never boring. I felt like I couldn’t learn enough about him. That was so intriguing to me. Before I knew it, Lassen was pulling into the arena.
“Damn that was fast,” I marveled.
“Yeah, this was a quick one. The trips aren’t all so short. Wait until we have to drive from Glasgow to Dublin. We have to drive all the trucks and busses onto ferries.”
“We are going to Scotland and Ireland?” I asked incredulously.
“Yeah,” he grinned. “I have the itinerary if you want to see it.”
“For sure. I’m jealous. You get to see so many historic places.”
“Honestly?” Jake shrugged. “I don’t usually see much more than the inside of the arenas in the cities I visit.”
“No way! Jake! Why not?”
He gave me a sheepish grin. “Because this is my job. I’m not on vacation.”
I shook my head. “Well I hate to tell you this buddy but when we get to Paris I’m going to the Eiffel Tower with or without you.”
“Well I hate to tell you this Casey, but I’ve already played in Paris.”
“No you didn’t.”
He nodded.
“Well, shit,” I frowned. “I need to see that damn itinerary.”
“I’ll figure out a way to get you to Paris,” Jake promised.
“I was just kidding Jake,” I smiled. “Anywhere we go will be exciting for me. This is all just one giant adventure.”
Jake smiled. “So…”
“So what?” I grinned back.
“You want me to give you a tour of the bedroom?”
“You already gave me a tour.”
“I meant a tour of the bed.”
“Oh, in that case…”
We retired to the bedroom and were making out when I straddled Jake’s naked body and stared down at him adoringly. Scars crisscrossed his chest but instead of being unsightly, they gave Jake a tough, powerful aura. I ran my finger over one. Jake tensed, looking embarrassed, then put his hand on mine, stopping me.
“Don’t,” he said.
“Jake,” I protested.
“Casey…just,” the look in his eyes gave me pause. He was giving me a warning that I was crossing the line. “Don’t.”
I stared at him a second and considered telling him he shouldn’t be ashamed of his scars but thought better of it. Jake seemed to want to avoid the topic all together. My little lapse in judgment had totally ruined Jake’s erection. He was all tensed up so I reached back and grabbed his dick. It didn’t take long for it to get to where it was before I touched his scar. I lowered myself on to him and slowly rode him. As I did, I laid down on him and started kissing his neck.
“I think you’re perfect,” I whispered in his ear.
Jake didn’t respond. He didn’t look at me. He just aggressively flipped me over and fucked my brains out.
Chapter Nineteen
Jake
Goddammit, I felt like a fucking idiot. Casey hadn’t meant anything when she touched my scar. I snapped at her and acted like a freak. I wished I could take it all back and pretend that I was unaffected by something as innocent as her touch. But it was out there now like the giant elephant in the room. It made me sick to watch the best thing that had ever happened to me collide with the worst thing that had ever happened to me…Casey’s purity vs. Ray’s depravity. Those two worlds didn’t belong together. But, like it or not, they would have to coexist. I had to figure out a way to be okay with it.
I knew Casey was. I truly believed that she was here for me and that she didn’t care about my scars. But somehow her acceptance of me, and the fact that she thought I was perfect, made me feel even more flawed. What kind of a man am I if my girlfriend has to reassure me that I’m ‘pretty’ every time we have sex?
Chapter Twenty
Casey
I woke up at around 7 in the morning. Jake was still sleeping. I lay there awhile thinking about what had happened last night. His reaction took me by surprise. Whatever had happened to him, Jake was, obviously, not okay talking about it. I looked at my sleeping boyfriend. Although I knew he would not appreciate it, I traced his body with my eyes anyway. His scars entranced me. There were a few which were deep and jagged. The skin around those scars folded into one inverted pocket. These scars were encased in tattoo designs making me wonder if he was trying to minimize their shocking existence. It was obvious something violent and terrible had happened for him to get scars like that. Had he been stabbed? Other scars were long and shallow as if the tip of a knife had been dragged across his skin. Still others were sharp and deep like something had struck him. And then there were other smaller and singular scars, lik
e the faded ones on his cheek, in one eyebrow and along his jawline. Jake’s wrists, ankles, legs, butt were also marked up but those scars were also faded. I wondered if he’d had laser surgery, or even skin graphs to reduce scarring. I knew a little about this stuff because a friend of mine had been in a serious car accident as a child and had undergone a series of treatments to diminish her scars.
My eyes focused on his knee. It was a mess. Deep jagged scars crisscrossed the area. These looked more like surgical scars but I couldn’t be sure. I could see now that his knee was swollen. No wonder he’d yelped in pain when I’d accidently touched it. When I finished categorizing all of Jake’s visible scars, I tried to wrap my brain around what must have happened to him all those years ago to cause such trauma to his body. I also couldn’t help but wonder what that would do to a person’s psyche. How could someone go through something as horrible as what Jake clearly went through and not come out of it without internal scarring. Was Jake hiding that part from me? Was my mom right? Was the trauma of what he suffered going to come back some day to haunt us?
After waiting nearly a half hour for him to wake up, I finally had to get up and use the bathroom. Once I was done, I glanced over and he was still out. I wanted him to sleep so I pulled on a sweatshirt, just in case Lassen was out, and tiptoed into the living room area of the bus. Lassen’s partition was closed. I relaxed. I made some Keurig coffee and picked up the itinerary. It was the size of a book. Curious, I opened it up and read through the list of all the cities we would be visiting, getting more excited by the second. Then I flipped the page and there was an overview of the first city on the list. It told a little about the history of the city, listing notable restaurants and interesting places. I flipped through the book until I came to Birmingham. I read through the summery of the city and was immediately interested in Aston Hall. Jake had told me he didn’t have anything to do until 1:00pm that day so I decided I was going to take him sightseeing.
I went into the bedroom and climbed onto the bed where my snoozing guy lay. Careful to avoid his knee, I kissed him all over like a dog licking his master.
