by Vi Voxley
"Speak," Kol-Eresh ordered. "And don't think I haven't been listening throughout this entire time. I have noted all the words you've said to me and I will deal out my judgment later when I'm sure whether my fated lives. You can either become the most valuable person to me or a gift to the Eternals for their mad experiments.
"I'm giving them a compliment by assuming I couldn't torture you half as well as they could."
Forack's lips were pressed together into a thin line.
"Good for me then that I don't live to seek your approval," he said. "Otherwise I'd be deeply hurt. Only the sixth female who has ever lived through a diadon surgery is sleeping in this room and you feel the need to threaten me."
"None of them were my fated," Kol-Eresh stated simply.
"Fair enough," Forack said, crossing his arms over his chest. "The surgery went as well as it could. The diadon is successfully implanted and your fated is still drawing breath. I can even tell you that initial readings show that the thing that was killing her is being battled by the diadon."
"Those are all good news," Kol-Eresh said. "What do you need to warn me about?"
"Everything else," Forack replied, shrugging. "This illness she has, we don't know anything about it. I believe the diadon can counter it, but we don't know yet. In addition, the fact that she lives is a pure miracle, Harbinger. She hadn't set foot on Luminos before and therefore she's the first in that regard as well.
“A healer proposed that the illness she has is somehow the reason why the implant took. I consider it as valid as any of the wild speculation that is going on about her right now. The point is –"
"You don't know," Kol-Eresh finished grimly. "I understand. What does that mean for Jackie?"
Forack shook his head.
"I have no idea," he admitted. "I have faith that since she survived this long, it will be okay, but do not take that for a guarantee. We'll wait and see. For now, you can go to her, but I urge you not to tell her that she's fully healed. Tell her the truth – she's on the path to recovery, nothing more."
Kol-Eresh gave him a curt nod and stepped into Jackie's room.
It was so quiet he could almost believe there was no one else but them in the entire galaxy. For him, of course, there wasn't.
The harbinger walked over to her bed, watching the screens next to it. Also above and some mounted on the walls all over the room. Every one of them seemed to count something different and he could read exactly none.
Nayanors had a deeply dysfunctional relationship with technology.
Being necessities in their lives and means to get what they wanted was one thing. The other side of the coin was that Nayanors simply didn't feel comfortable with things they couldn't thoroughly understand and therefore depend on.
Like the gigantic Gechs the Eternals had built in an age long ago – Nayanors had a habit of treating them more like huge beasts. A different species more than machinery, with minds of their own.
And naturally their ships used a lot of tech to move through wormholes. The fact that it was only understood by some was the reason why even many great warlords didn't like leaving Luminos, preferring to rule their domains on the planet.
Therefore all the dials and screens made Kol-Eresh uneasy. He wished he hadn't dismissed Forack so quickly. The healer could have explained to him what was going on.
Jackie looked so pale to his eyes, lying on the soft bed, her golden, strawberry blond hair spread out on the pillow. He would have given everything to have her open her gorgeous green eyes and smile at him. The strange glow coming from under her shirt was also unnatural.
Kol-Eresh wondered if that was how Nayanors looked to Terran females.
He took Jackie's hand into his again, hoping that she could feel him and wake up. At the back of his mind, the harbinger was intent to give her rest, but he couldn't resist. It wasn't as if he was shaking her out of her slumber.
In the end, it took Jackie two hours to finally return to him.
Her bright green eyes opened sleepily, looking around in the strange room. It seemed to Kol-Eresh that she was looking for him and the second her gaze fell upon him, the proof was there.
A soft, tired smile appeared on her lips.
"You're here," were Jackie's first words to him.
The emotion in them was indescribable. The harbinger didn't think he could fully grasp what it felt like for Jackie to have gone through what she did. Nayanors were nearly immortal out of battle. No disease or illness ever bothered them. They didn't suffer hunger quite like Terrans did, not sleep deprivation or cold under normal circumstances or anything like that.
Kol-Eresh had often thought that the gods had sent the long night to punish them for that somehow, a storm so vicious it truly tested the warrior species.
Jackie wasn't just glad to see him there in her room, at that exact moment. She was glad to be alive, with him, and nothing in Kol-Eresh's life had ever compared to knowing that.
"Yes," he said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "I will never leave your side."
Jackie's tired smile spread wider.
"You still try to make that sound like a romantic promise," she whispered. "I'll tell you when it starts working."
His fated looked around in the room, frowning when she saw all the screens and machines hooked up to her. Then her gaze fell on her chest and the sapphire diadon glowing under her shirt.
"It's real," Jackie said quietly. "Can you help me to sit up?"
The harbinger arranged her pillows around so Jackie could move her bed into the correct position and sit upright. She pulled her shirt out of the way and Kol-Eresh caught a sight of her perfect breasts. It made his cock stir, growing rock-hard in seconds as he was reminded how deeply he still ached for her.
Jackie touched one of her fingers against the diadon, jumping when it connected.
"Gods, I really thought I dreamed that," she admitted. "It just feels so unreal. There is this device in me, keeping me alive now."
His fated turned to him, hope surrounding her like an aura.
"It is healing me?" she asked.
"Yes," Kol-Eresh said. "Forack just told me. The implant was a success. The diadon is battling the disease. Everything looks good."
He was careful not to tell Jackie that everything was going to be okay, but he couldn't bring himself to get her moods down, not at that moment.
Jackie didn't reply.
She just sat, her hands folded neatly in her lap, looking straight at him until big tears started running down her face.
"Jackie," Kol-Eresh said, reaching out his hand to wipe the tears from her cheeks.
She let him before shaking her head, bursting out laughing.
"I'm okay," she said. "I'm okay, really. These aren't tears of sadness. They're just... joy. Do you have any idea what it feels like to come back from the brink after thinking you'd already tipped over the edge? I had prepared myself for the fall, hoping I could make the landing as painless as possible.
"Now – I don't know. It feels like I've been given a new life. It's just a new chance, but it feels like I am starting everything all over again."
Kol-Eresh sat on the edge of her bed, feeling it shift under the weight of his armor. Luckily he'd rested his big sword against the wall, not wanting it anywhere near the delicate equipment monitoring Jackie.
"I know," he said. "I know exactly how that feels."
Jackie wiped her tears away, looking at him with interest.
"How so?" she asked. "Have you ever been close to –"
She trailed off, laughing again.
"I guess that would have been a silly question," Jackie admitted, unable to keep herself from laughing. "I was about to ask if a warlord knew what it felt like to stare death in the eye and then live, but you must know, right?"
It felt unbelievably good to see her like that, so full of life again. The smile reached her eyes, her entire face, her whole being. The harbinger didn't know if it was the effect of the diadon or not, but she
was bubbling with life.
"I do," he admitted, "but battle wasn't what I had in mind."
"What then?" Jackie asked, frowning. "I thought that was the only way a Nayanor could get close to danger to your life."
"Mostly it's true," Kol-Eresh replied, "but the diadon isn't implanted on us for a long time. It's too dangerous to give it to a child. Close to giving it to a female, in fact."
Jackie raised an eyebrow, but the harbinger shook his head.
"I'm not comparing you to a child," he said. "I'm saying the youngest are always the most vulnerable in every species."
"That's true," Jackie agreed. "So what happened to you?"
"What didn't?" Kol-Eresh laughed. "From the moment I was born, I was trouble. In fact, I was trouble long before I was born."
"How is that even possible?" Jackie asked. "Even Nayanors can't mess things up before they come into this world."
"I could," Kol-Eresh said, loving the way laughter brought a healthy blush to his fated's cheeks. "The year I was born, there was a particularly vicious long night. My father wasn't a harbinger back then and we were seeking shelter in another fortress. It belonged to Harbinger Rhyslan's father. He was just a small boy then, he's told me about it.
"The storm broke into the fortress when a female escaped and the defense system was brought down. It snowed indoors, rations ran out quickly as the storm destroyed them. Rhyslan told me of how Fermanoli coats became more precious than food. His mother gave two to mine as they shivered down on the lowest level. Our fathers were guarding the doors against our own people.
"I was born, as you can see. In the midst of it all. Barely anyone lived from that hall despite everything, but I did."
Jackie's eyes were wide. For a change, her hands were on top of his, her fingers gently brushing against his skin.
"I can't even imagine that," she said sadly. "Was your mother okay too? Please tell me she was."
It was amazing to Kol-Eresh how Terrans could muster so much compassion for people they'd never met, for people who weren't even of their own species.
"She lived," he said. "Rhyslan's mother did too. His father died, though. We grew up as brothers after that. I'd never tell that to his face, of course. We've battled to bitter wounds more than once."
Jackie leaned back, sighing.
"Nayanors are the weirdest species in the galaxy, you know," she said pensively. "I always thought it was some exotic race. Like Torons who are still not tame, or the hiveminds that have basically died out. But it's you. I don't think I'll ever figure you out."
"We're very easy to understand," Kol-Eresh said. "Unlike your Galactic Union who can never figure out what it truly wants or what it tolerates, we have our priorities and we don't let anything get in our way. I know all about the Union's internal turmoils.
"Like how you can never figure out whether Brions are your enemies or allies. Or what the Palians would let them get away with so they wouldn't turn the guns of those ridiculous flying fortresses on the Union."
Jackie couldn't fight down the smile on her lips as she nodded.
"That's us," she admitted. "The Union has its faults and everything you say about Brions is true as well. They have protected us for centuries now from anything the galaxy throws at us, but I can't say anyone trusts them completely. It's hard to trust a species who has the firepower to wipe you out of existence before you can get out of bed to sound the alarm."
"And you wonder why we don't interact," Kol-Eresh stated.
Jackie's laughter rang out in the room, clear and bright and utterly beautiful. She winced when the diadon in her chest moved unexpectedly, but it didn't stop her.
"I really think Brions would take that as a compliment," she finally added. "That you're perfectly fine with living on a planet like Luminos if it means not dealing with them."
"They'd take it the wrong way," the harbinger said. "We are not afraid of them."
"I've come to learn that's true, yes," Jackie said.
"Anyway, the year of my birth wasn't the worst by any account," Kol-Eresh went on. "When I grew older, I started taking part in the games that all Nayanor boys play when the long night is approaching fast."
"Okay, I'm going to venture a wild guess here," Jackie cut in. "You did something incredibly dangerous and probably risked your life. I don't know what Nayanors consider "games", but I bet it's worse than what Terran children do."
"You could say that," Kol-Eresh said. "Rhyslan's fortress has a stair on the side that goes up to the plains above the cliff it's built in. When the storm was coming and the gates were being shut down, we'd sneak out and try to withstand the power of it as long as we could. No one wanted to be the first to leave and everyone wanted to be the last."
"Of course," Jackie said, chuckling. "I think I played something similar when I was a small girl, but I bet it was nowhere near as dangerous."
"No," Kol-Eresh agreed. "I remember standing there, holding on to the cliff with everything I had. We struck our swords into the wall to hold ourselves in place when the winds got so violent they ripped the smaller boys right off the stairs. Some of them were lost forever. No one could find the bodies the storm had blown thousands of miles from the fortress.
"It was a harsh task. I was usually the youngest to play. It was too cold to open my eyes, too windy to properly breathe. There came a point where I couldn't have let go of my sword if I wanted to because my hands were frozen to it. The storm comes in waves and I knew I had to outlast it until it gave up just a little."
"What happened?" Jackie asked, her eyes wide with real interest.
"I survived," Kol-Eresh laughed. "That year and the next. I didn't beat Rhyslan at first, he was older and bigger than I was. He could stay when I could no longer get my footing, but as the years passed and our ages weren't such a difference anymore, I won too."
He paused for a second, reaching out his hand to touch it to Jackie's cheek. The wide smile faltered, but became something much more gorgeous instead. The softness of her face was quickly becoming the harbinger's dearest sight.
"Do you know why I told you this?" he asked.
"Not to make me feel bad about the surgery?" Jackie guessed, shaking her head. "To tell me that you've lived through worse odds than mine."
"Yes and no," Kol-Eresh said, his voice filled with emotion he didn't know he had in him. "I wanted to tell you all that so you would understand what I truly mean when I say that all those times were nothing. Nothing at all, compared to sitting here, listening to your breathing. Waiting to see if you came back to me.
"The abyss, the edge you described? I saw it. The dark, joyless future where I didn't have you by my side. A world where I couldn't see the light burning in your eyes, where I couldn't taste your lips."
Jackie stared at him, her fragile body shivering when Kol-Eresh leaned in for a gentle, loving kiss. He had never imagined feeling anything like the fire that burned inside him now. The reason was obvious, too. No other female could have lit that undying flame in his heart.
"Only to live without you, my love, would be to die," he said.
His lips touched Jackie's. They didn't come up for a breath until Jackie was left panting, her hands gripping the straps of his armor, pulling herself against him.
"I'm here," she said. "I'm here now."
Fourteen
Jackie
A week later...
It was amazing what a new perspective on life could do.
The second Forack carelessly allowed that she might be well enough to get up from the bed, Jackie didn't let anyone keep her down. She practically bounced up from the sheets, taking the moment to feel just a bit guilty for the way the lead healer winced at that.
"Be careful," Forack warned her. "If you break something, most notably yourself, the harbinger will collect my head as bounty."
"I thought Nayanors didn't feel fear," Jackie replied happily, dressing in a hurry, anxious to see everything she'd been prepared to say goodbye to.
"We don't," Forack said sourly. "Not the way Terrans do. I don't fear death, but it doesn't mean I wouldn't prefer to keep on living. I don't fear enemies either, but unfortunately I'm blessed with a rather high intelligence. I have a very good imagination, female. I saw what your fated did to the last healer who displeased him and that had nothing to do with his fated mate. They would clean my blood off the walls for weeks."
"You're so dramatic," Jackie said. "I'm sure Kol-Eresh is reasonable about this. After all, you saved my life."
She stopped in the middle of her actions, regarding the healer who was still looking at her like she might combust before his very eyes.
"I haven't had a chance to thank you for that yet," Jackie went on quietly. "That's very rude of me and I'm sorry. Allow me to say this now, then. From the bottom of my heart, thank you."
There was a hint of a smile on Forack's serious, disapproving face.
"You're welcome," he said impassively as if it wasn't a big deal at all. "I should be thanking you instead. Not only have you given me the opportunity to brag about the operation, but you are also correct about the harbinger. If you keep on approving, I can count on his continued good will. Let me just emphasize to you now that he is not a reasonable man."
Jackie pulled her new purple-adorned black coat on, zipping it up in the middle to hide the odd glow on her chest. She bet it would take her a while to get used to that.
"The harbinger seems alright to me," she argued, stepping into her warm boots. "For a Nayanor."
Ashley had been right. Talking to Nayanors was much easier when Kol-Eresh's shadow stood behind her, invisible but very much there.
Forack humphed, shaking his head.
"Kol-Eresh is a great man," he agreed. "But you have a distorted view of him, being his fated. You only see the best side of him from that position."
Jackie raised her eyes to the healer who suddenly seemed to realize he might have said too much.
"What do you mean?" she asked, making sure she'd gotten all the clasps of her boots right.
"Nothing," Forack said, backtracking so fast it made Jackie's head hurt.
