“Mr. Van Winkle isn’t a pervert. He’s senile. He forgets where he lives sometimes.”
“Yeah, well, he also forgets to wear clothes.” Judging from what happens in his saggy underwear, Mr. Van Winkle was probably a hit with the ladies in his day. I turn sideways and slide by my mom’s date from last night. Thankfully, I’m skinny enough that I don’t have to touch him, since he seems incapable of moving out of the way.
I lock my door and throw on a pair of leggings and a hoodie. I stuff a bathing suit into my knapsack and my clean skating gear, since I have lessons to teach this evening. I’m banking on Sunny being able to drive me to the rink. My phone beeps as I’m running a brush through my hair. It’s Sunny letting me know she’s here. She knows enough not to come up unless I invite her. My mom’s chatty. She can keep us here for hours with tea and lectures about men. Although that’s not likely to happen today, what with her man friend.
I open the door a crack and peek my head out. The hall is empty. I tiptoe down it, shove my feet into ballet flats, lift my keys from the hook, and open the door.
“Going to Sunny’s and then work. Be back later!” I let the door close behind me before my mom can stop me with requests for groceries.
Sunny’s waiting out in front of my building in her Prius. It was a birthday present from her brother. I don’t have my own car. Public transit and my bike are my rides of choice. Guelph isn’t big, and I don’t live too far from work. Plus, cars are expensive; the one my mom and I share is constantly in need of repair.
I slip into the passenger seat and wait until Sunny pulls into traffic before I check my ringing phone.
She glances at me and then back at the road, her hands at ten and two like they’re supposed to be. The GPS is tracking our drive, even though she’s been to the apartment at least two thousand times. Sunny’s directionally challenged. And she’s very diligent about following road rules.
“Who’s calling you? Randy? What happened in that bathroom?”
“It’s my mom. She probably wants to give me a list of things to bring home. I don’t know why she doesn’t text.” I let the call go to voice mail and shove it back in my bag. “So, get this, my mom brought home her date.”
“Last night? Did you meet him?”
“I did this morning.”
“No!” Sunny’s eyes go wide.
“Yup. He was wearing tightie-whities and showing off his hard-on.”
“Oh my God!” Sunny’s mortification matches my own.
“So classy, right? Anyway, my mom thought I was at your place, so I guess she figured it would be safe.”
“I’m sorry, Lily.”
I shrug and make a joke out of it. “I guess the good thing is, there’s a low probability that I’ll ever see him again.”
Sunny doesn’t get what it’s like to live in a house with a revolving door of boyfriends. Her parents have been together forever.
I have no idea if my dad was the first professional athlete my mom scored with, but he was the one who got her pregnant. So since then, as long as the guy doesn’t play hockey, he’s fair game. I think it’s kind of insane, because any guy can be a deadbeat, not just hockey players. Still, if I ever came home with a hockey-stick-toting boy, I’d hear about it. Hence the reason my mother will never know about my romp with Randy.
“How was the rest of your night?” I ask Sunny after she doesn’t respond. I mean really, what is there to say? “The event went so well. Miller did great. How was Michael feeling by the end?” It’s definitely not a subtle change of topic, but Sunny doesn’t seem to notice, or maybe she doesn’t want me to dwell on the unfortunate visual of my mom’s date’s man rod.
“It was amazing, wasn’t it? Michael’s such a trooper. He’s tired today, though. Miller called him to see how he’s doing. He really is wonderful, isn’t he? I’m so in love with him. I can’t even tell you. Last night he managed to get past Titan so we could get in some alone time. I can’t wait until this semester is over.” She taps the steering wheel and bounces in her seat.
“How’d he manage to get past Titan?” Sunny’s little Papillon is super protective.
“Cookies.” Sunny giggles. That’s Miller’s nickname for her vag. She thinks she’s hilarious when referring to actual baked goods.
Sunny’s mentioned moving to Chicago more than once since the fall semester began. It makes me nervous. We were supposed to move into an apartment or a little house after we finished college. I received my bachelors in kinesiology this past April, but the jobs in my field aren’t the best unless I continue on for a master’s degree, which is expensive. I also don’t want to give up teaching figure skating, because well, it’s been my life since I could walk. Anyway, Sunny switched programs last year, so it’s taking her a little longer, but this has been the plan for the past three years.
I don’t know what I’ll do without her if she goes to Chicago. Especially since I broke up with Benji, and I honestly don’t want to get back together with him. We’ve been apart for more than a month. I’ve avoided all of his phone calls, aside from the one where I told him I wasn’t kidding about being done. He had some very choice words, none of which were nice, and all of which reinforced the reasons why I don’t want to be with him anymore. There’s nothing more heartwarming than being told I’m a “titless slut who deserves the next loser who fucks and chucks” me.
Anyway, Benji’s out, and if Sunny leaves, that’s another one of my ties to here severed. I don’t want my mom to be the only thing left for me.
“You know, Lily, we could both move to Chicago at the end of the fall semester. Between Alex and Miller, I’ll have a placement all worked out for the winter. It’d be the perfect way to start the new year.” She glances at me before focusing on the road again. “Alex is looking into buying a little house, and I’ll pay him rent or something. He thinks it would be a good investment. He has lots of contacts, and there are all sorts of opportunities in Chicago. You could teach skating to pre-pro hockey kids, or figure skating. Plus you have dual citizenship, so there isn’t anything holding you back, especially since you and Benji are done for good, right?”
“I don’t know. I can’t just leave my mom here.” I run my fingertip over a snag in my leggings. It’s a lame excuse, but I’ve never been much for change. Staying with Benji even though he was a terrible boyfriend is a good example of that. Moving to Chicago would be a huge change. Also, Randy’s there. My vagina is already aware and excited.
“Your mom can take care of herself. I don’t think it would be a bad idea for you to at least consider it. We’d have so much fun.”
“Why don’t you move in with Miller?” I ask.
“We haven’t been dating that long, and I want to live on my own first. I don’t want to move into his space and just try to fit in there, you know?”
“But you’ll move into his place eventually.”
“Probably, but it doesn’t need to happen right away. Alex is the one who likes to rush things.”
“He’s really pushing for this wedding to happen, isn’t he?” It’s weird. But then, that’s Alex.
Sunny sighs. “I think he might send Violet over the edge.”
Violet and Alex have been together for nine months, give or take. Ever since he put a ring on her finger this summer, Sunny’s mom has been hounding them to set a date. Violet hasn’t committed to anything yet. The only thing she’s allowed so far is this engagement party I’ve evidently agreed to go to. Not that I’m complaining. Mostly.
“Anyway, you still haven’t told me what happened with you and Randy in that bathroom last night.”
“Nothing happened. He barged in on me like the jerk he is and prevented me from being able to pee.”
“That’s not what Miller said.”
“What?” The squeak in my voice is far too telling.
“Come on, Lily. I know something happened in there. It’s nothing to feel bad about. I mean, bathrooms are kind of gross, but that one is cleaner than most
. As long as you used protection and washed your hands afterward, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“We didn’t have sex! Did Randy say we had sex?”
“No. I guess I assumed. I mean with the way you were freaking out—”
“I wasn’t freaking out.”
Sunny gives me a look.
“Okay, I was freaking out.”
She pulls into her parents’ driveway. There are five cars in it already. Sunny isn’t the best driver. Or parker. She always seems to end up running over her mother’s flowers, which is exactly what happens.
“Let’s talk about this later.” I step over a crushed bloom and head for the front door. Sunny has no option but to follow.
The house smells fabulous; the pungent aroma of cinnamon makes my mouth water. I kick off my shoes, and Alex immediately scoops me up in a hug.
“Little Lily! I didn’t get to see much of you last night. I’m glad you’re here.”
“You’re crushing me!” I laugh and hug him back anyway. I miss him sometimes, like I would a real brother. We used to bug the crap out of him when he was a teenager. Me more than Sunny probably. He figure skated with all the boys in the level above me, and some of them were so cute. Slutty, but cute. I was constantly looking for reasons to hang out by the Waters’ pool.
Once I made out with one of them. I was only in ninth grade. It was before I started dating Benji. Alex flipped his lid when he found out, and I got a serious big-brother lecture.
My Momma Two comes out of the kitchen in her frilly apron from the eighties. I’m almost positive her blouse has shoulder pads. Her hair is pulled up in a banana clip, and her bangs have been teased so they resemble a bath pouf. I didn’t even know they still made banana clips.
I’m pulled into more warm embraces. I’m not actually big on hugging, but the Waters family is. And with Sunny it’s more a habit than anything else. She’s one of the few people I don’t mind having in my personal space.
Miller’s in the kitchen, sitting at the breakfast bar with Sunny’s dad, Robbie, and Darren Westinghouse—he’s Alex’s best friend and another Chicago teammate. Robbie has essentially filled the missing father role in my life. He’s a serious pothead, but he’s brilliant, and I adore him.
The boys are shoving fruit into their mouths and talking about training. Miller spins on the bar stool and opens his arms wide, a huge grin on his face. “Lily!”
I give him a quick back pat and do the same with Robbie. I offer to help with brunch, but everything’s already done, so we bring the food out and sit down to eat.
Brunch at the Waters’ is always an event. Sunny’s a vegan, so there’s a selection of food specially prepared for her. The rest of the Waters family loves their meat, so heaps of bacon and sausage and eggs compliment the cinnamon buns, homemade waffles, and chocolate chip pancakes.
Violet and Charlene sit across from me and Sunny, with Momma Two to the right of Violet. She’s still talking about the engagement party.
After we stuff ourselves silly, the girls change into bathing suits and head outside. It honestly isn’t warm enough, but we’re all bundled in hotel-style bathrobes, so that helps. The guys have a tee time at one, so they’re packing up the car and getting ready to go. Daisy has plans to join us in a bit, once she’s done with dinner prep. That woman could spend her entire life in the kitchen. She’s like an eighties edition of June Cleaver.
“Is that steam?” I ask when I reach the pool.
Violet dips a toe in. “This is like a hot tub. I can’t even imagine what the heating bill is going to be for this.”
“Alex says he’s paying for it,” Sunny unties her robe and tosses it on a lounge chair. She shivers and then jumps in. “Oh! Wow! This is great. Come on in, girls!”
Violet undoes her robe and rubs her bare belly. “Look at this! I shouldn’t have put whipped cream on my waffles. Now we know what I’ll look like three months after Alex knocks me up.”
Sunny pops out of the water, catching only the end of the comment. “You’re pregnant?”
“What? God, no! I’m not having Alex’s pretty little babies. Not yet, anyway. First we have to do the wedding thing. Then I need to be a wife for a while. Then babies. In that order. With years between all those things.” She pushes her stomach out further. “I’m just pointing out how much stress this damn engagement party is causing. Now I’m sporting this gross dairy belly.”
Charlene pats Violet’s tummy, and Violet pushes her in the water, but not before she seizes Violet’s hand and yanks her in too. Before I get in, I hit the pool house and grab a bunch of noodles so we can float. I drop my robe on a chair with one of those heating lamps beside it, then sit down on the edge of the pool.
“Seriously. How is this fair?” Violet motions to me.
“How is what fair?” I look down at myself.
“You ate just as much as me. Where’s your food baby?”
I run a hand self-consciously over my tummy. “Food baby?”
“Yeah. Food baby. You don’t have one.”
“Um…”
“Don’t listen to her. She’s bitchy because of the engagement party.”
“And Alex wouldn’t put out last night. Don’t forget that part.” Violet swims over to take a pool noodle. Except she stops right in front of me and grabs my knees. “Holy shit!” She wrenches them apart. “Is that a hickey?”
High up on the inside of my thigh is a large reddish-purple mark. I totally would have brought my bathing suit with the skirt if I’d been thinking. “It’s a bruise.” Made by Randy’s mouth.
“Liar!” Violet sticks her head between my legs and pokes at it. “That’s totally a hickey! Did Balls lick your beaver? Did you let Balls ball you?”
“Oh my God! You’re the worst!” I’m laughing even though I’m embarrassed, because Violet is the most ridiculous human in the world. I put a hand on her forehead, intending to push her away.
“Uh, Violet?” Alex’s deep voice makes us both turn.
Darren’s hands are tucked into his pockets, and he’s wearing a secret smile. He looks over at Charlene and raises an eyebrow. She does the same in return. What is that about?
Miller’s expression is priceless. His mouth is hanging open. “What the shit do you girls do when we’re not around?”
“Stop being a pervert, Buck! She has a h—”
I clamp a hand over Violet’s mouth.
“I can’t watch this. I feel dirty right now. I’m waiting in the car.” Miller turns around and walks back into the house.
“Baby, c’mere.” Alex crooks a finger and beckons her over.
Violet doggy-paddles to him, and Alex crouches to meet her. His eyes immediately dropping to her floating boobs. His gaze shifts back up. “Is there anything you feel you need to tell me?”
“About what?”
“I don’t know; maybe you did some experimenting in college?”
“Oh my God, you’re as bad as Buck! Lily has a hickey! Near her beaver!”
“It’s a bruise!”
Violet looks over her shoulder at me. “Fine. It’s a bruise. Made by Balls’ balls slapping on your thighs!”
Alex glances in my direction, his brow furrowed. I take the opportunity to slip into the water and avoid looking at him. I don’t need him to know anything about what did or didn’t happen with Randy’s balls.
Charlene comes to my rescue. “Don’t listen to her, Alex. She’s giving Lily the gears. And she likes to say balls, although I’m sure you’re familiar with her mouth. On yours.”
“Nice, Char.” Violet turns back to Alex. “Gimme kisses and then go hit some balls with sticks with fat heads.”
Alex puts his hands under her arms and lifts her out of the water to her waist. It’s impressive. He whispers something to her.
“You can slide your monster cock between them later if you pet my beaver.”
Alex grins and drops her back in the water. She goes under and comes up spluttering. “No boob sex for you later! M
y beaver’s hiding in her den for the rest of the weekend!”
“Uh-huh. We’ll see about that.”
Darren’s still wearing that half-grin. He winks at Charlene. “See ya later, sexy.”
She blows him a kiss and bites her lip as he saunters away with Alex. Darren’s always so quiet. It makes me wonder what the deal is with him.
Violet slides a noodle under her knees and another under her arms. Then she closes her eyes and tilts her head back. “This engagement party is ruining my sex life.”
I float on my stomach with a noodle under my arms because my boobs are molehills compared to Violet’s mountains. “Shouldn’t you be excited about it?”
“Alex is more than excited enough for both of us, and so are our mothers. It’s insanity. Whoever heard of an engagement party with a guest list of more than two hundred people?” Violet scratches her arm. “I’m going to do something to embarrass myself and Alex.”
“You’ll be fine, Vi,” Charlene reassures her.
Violet gives her a look. “Seriously? Do you even remember my mom’s wedding?”
“What happened at your mom’s wedding?” Sunny asks.
“Oh, you know, the usual. I humiliated myself in front of all of my parents’ friends.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” I offer.
“I told my mom I didn’t want to give a speech, because I’m not comfortable getting up in front of that many people. But she was convinced I’d be fine because it was all people we knew.” Violet shakes her head. “When it was my turn I got up, tripped over the bottom of my dress, and face-planted into Buck’s junk. It set off a chain reaction. He stumbled into the podium and knocked it over, and it landed on the cake! I ruined my mom’s wedding.”
“You didn’t ruin it, Vi. It was just a hiccup,” Charlene says.
Vi turns to me and Sunny. “That’s not even the worse part! My boob popped out of my dress, and everyone saw it! There were, like, three hundred people at the wedding!”
“There were only seventy-five. It was small,” Charlene corrects.
“Well, it seemed like three hundred!” Violet huffs. “The whole team is coming to the engagement party! All of them. And they’ve all seen me naked. Or parts of me naked. It’s embarrassing. What if I have another wardrobe malfunction? What if I say something stupid or talk about Alex’s dick, which we all know is highly likely.”
Pucked Over (Pucked #3) Page 5
