He had the oddest feeling they were floating high above a desert, drifting on a gentle breeze as easily as if they rode on a magic carpet. The air was filled with the dry scent of desert blooms. Above them, hawks dipped and soared through a blue sky.
Then slowly, gently, he settled back to earth, his fall cushioned by a thousand satin pillows.
Propped on his elbows, he waited for his breathing to ease, his heart to slow, and the strange images to slip into memory. Ages passed, bringing with them a newfound lethargy. He was too heavy for Nesrin and knew it.
He rolled away, taking her with him. She rested her head on his chest. Satisfied beyond any previous experience, he brushed a kiss to her damp forehead. In the distance, the thunder marked the storm’s passage across the Rockies. A lullaby.
He must have dozed.
He wasn’t sure how long he slept. Seconds. Minutes. It was hard to tell.
Turning in search of Nesrin, to pull her back into his arms, he found her side of the bed empty.
He felt a strange sense of panic—irrational, he admitted, yet the feeling had the same power as a nightmare had to startle a person awake. Images of mud huts, hidden vaults beneath desert sands, and evil wizards came to him. Grotesque and frightening.
Still blurry with sleep, he tried to assure himself Nesrin couldn’t have gone far. This was the twentieth century and he lived on a ranch in Colorado.
But where the hell was she?
Chapter Eight
The candle had burned out and he nearly knocked over the useless lamp trying to find his flashlight. Then he stubbed his damn toe.
Cursing under his breath, he wondered where Nesrin had gone. He wanted her back in his arms. Now.
He yanked on his jeans. The whole house was silent. No water running in the bathroom. No glow of candlelight coming from any of the upstairs bedrooms.
He paused at her bedroom door. Not a sound. No quiet breathing. No restless stirring on her bed beyond the open door.
She was simply gone.
Making his way downstairs, he worried that maybe he’d hurt her. He’d felt the barrier of her virginity. Since she had such an innocent quality about her, that hadn’t really surprised him. Instead, he’d been filled with masculine pride that he had been her first lover.
But maybe, in spite of his vow to take things easy, he’d gone too fast. Scared her.
Relief washed over him when he spotted the glow of lights in the living room. Looking small and fragile and very vulnerable in her see-through nightgown, she sat curled up on the couch surrounded by a dozen flickering candles. A band tightened painfully around his chest. He fought the sensation. There was no reason to confuse terrific sex with an emotion he wasn’t capable of giving.
“Nesrin...” He spoke softly so he wouldn’t startle her.
She raised luminous eyes to him and he felt a new shifting and settling deep inside that had nothing to do with sex.
“It’s late, sweetheart. Can you come back to bed now?” He wouldn’t touch her, if that’s what she wanted. Just keep her near to him. Safe.
“I do not want to sleep.” Her tone was flat and lifeless.
Worried, Parker sat down on the couch next to her. “Why can’t you sleep?” He’d been so drained, he couldn’t possibly have stayed awake if he’d tried. For such a petite woman, she was a powerful package. He thought he had satisfied her, too.
“Because...” Her chin trembled and she began to shiver. She wrapped her arms around herself. “Because Rasheyd will be here soon. Then there will always be darkness for me.”
“I told you neither of those two guys this afternoon was Rasheyd. It’s going to be okay.”
“No, you do not understand. It is part of the curse. He wanted to bed me and I refused.” She shivered uncontrollably. “He swore if...if I ever submitted to another, he would search me out and send me back into the lamp forever. Oh, Parker—” Sobbing, she threw herself into his arms. “I do not want to go back into the lamp.”
“You mean, you thought by us making love you’d have to—” God, he’d never known anyone courageous enough to make that kind of a sacrifice, however misguided her reasoning might be. She believed the curse was true. That made her one gutsy lady.
It didn’t matter whether he believed her story or not, Parker had to find a way to ease her mind. He slid his fingers through the lush thickness of her hair. Kneading her scalp, he tipped her head back so he could look into her eyes. “Honey, you didn’t submit to me, if that’s what you’re afraid of. What we did upstairs, we did as equal partners. We both gave pleasure, and took it in return.”
She gazed at him quizzically. “Is that different than submitting?”
“Damn right it is.” A lot different than the apparent rape this Rasheyd jerk had planned. “So you see, you don’t have to worry about him anymore. He’s gone forever.”
She didn’t look entirely convinced. “Partners does have a nice sound to it,” she conceded. “Not at all like submitting.”
“Nope.”
“More like...love?”
He stood and pulled her to her feet. Her arms were covered with gooseflesh. He rubbed them. How could he explain a man who had never been taught about love, didn’t know the meaning of the word? “Let’s get back to bed before you catch a chill.”
She came along easily enough, as though she were considering what he had told her. She even snuggled up to him once he got her into bed, her back curled up next to his chest. He could still smell the scent of sex in the air mixing with the erotic fragrance that was so uniquely Nesrin’s. It made him ache for her even more powerfully than he had before.
“Parker,” she said after they had lain spooned together for a while. “Could we be partners again?”
He smiled. “Sure. Whenever you want.”
“Now, I think would be a good time.”
“Honey, I don’t think—”
She turned in his arms. “Even if you are wrong, and Rasheyd will soon seek me out, I do not think forever will last any longer if you and I have been partners more than once.”
Her logic was unassailable. “Good point,” he agreed.
“I fear, however, that last time you gave more pleasure than you received.”
“I figured it was pretty equal.” What wasn’t quite fair was the way her hand had slipped down his stomach. He groaned. “You’re a fast learner.”
“I have an expert teacher.”
Nesrin marveled that by giving Parker pleasure in this way, her enjoyment grew even greater. She cherished his soft groans that told her she pleased him, for his caresses gladdened both her heart and her body.
When Parker pulled her on top of him, Nesrin realized it was his way of easing the slight discomfort she felt between her thighs. She loved him all the more for his thoughtfulness.
With his finger he touched her where they were joined, circling slowly before he increased the pace. The feeling was so intense she felt as though she were racing up a mountain peak. When she crested the top, she found they were there together...tumbling through space and time as though they were one. She sobbed his name and clung to him, her body pulsating in the magical moment.
Finally, when her breathing slowed and her heart beat normally again, she surrendered herself to sleep in the comforting security of Parker’s arms.
* * *
HIS CONSCIENCE BEGAN to bother him as the first streaks of gray lightened the eastern sky. The storm was gone, but the clouds from his past still cast a pall over the present.
He’d known from the beginning that Nesrin deserved more than he was capable of giving. But his hormones had been doing his thinking for him ever since she showed up on the ranch. Not only had he taken her virginity, but by making love to her without being honest first, he’d made unspoken promises he couldn’t keep.
In the past few years, when his needs simply became too powerful for him to ignore, he’d had a relationship with a woman who knew up front there’d be no permanent commitment.
He kept it simple.
He’d violated his own principles with Nesrin.
He hadn’t been honest, and now he cursed himself for that significant oversight.
Like most women, she’d wake up with certain expectations. In particular, a fantasy called love.
His stomach knotted. When they’d been handing out the capacity for that specific emotion, he’d been missing from the line. Just like his father.
Truth was, he was on the edge of not even being able to provide a home for himself and the kids, forget about any deeper emotions. He sure as hell couldn’t deal with a woman in his life right now. His job was saddle-breaking the mustangs, and keeping the general from getting custody of Amy and Kevin.
Carefully, so he wouldn’t awaken Nesrin, he slipped out of bed and pulled on his clothes. Before he left the room he gave her a long, hungry look.
She lay curled on her side, both vulnerable and desirable. Her lips were slightly parted, and full, as though they had been well kissed. Her dark lashes formed delicate fans that emphasized her classic features—a slender nose, high cheekbones, a finely arched jaw. He remembered her soft sounds of pleasure when he’d kissed her at the juncture of neck and her shoulder. And the sultry scent that was so distinctly Nesrin’s.
Gritting his teeth against the images, he pulled the sheet up to cover her bare shoulder, then left the room.
* * *
“EASY, LITTLE LADY. Nobody’s going to hurt you. We’re friends, you and me. Good friends.”
Nesrin smiled as she walked toward the corral.
Parker had a mare on a lead, coaxing her, stroking her withers, calming her as he accustomed the animal to the feel of the blanket on her back. He moved with easy, masculine grace, confident of his ability to master the mare. His jeans were old and faded, his shirt the same. Mud caked his boots. But to Nesrin he was a more impressive sight than any sheikh wearing flowing robes, or whose fingers sported rings covered with precious gems.
Quietly admiring him as he worked, Nesrin rested her elbows on the top rail of the fence. Parker was a very gentle man. He had been patient with her. Tender. Loving, she thought, though he had not said the words.
She only wished he had not left her to wake up alone in his big bed. What if Rasheyd had appeared? She might not have had a chance for one last memory of Parker to take with her into the darkness.
A slight movement Nesrin made caught Parker’s attention. His heated gaze warmed her from across the corral. Then his expression changed, darkened, and she felt chilled to the bone.
He brought the horse to her. The mare nuzzled Nesrin’s hand seeking a treat, and she rubbed the animal’s velvet nose.
“I am sorry I have nothing for you,” she said. “Next time I will bring you an apple or a carrot.”
“Nesrin, there’s something I should have told you. Before last night.”
Only once had she seen such bleakness in a man’s eyes. A crippled beggar on the streets of her village had been dying. He knew the end was near and no one could help him.
The thought that Parker—so strong and powerful, so vital—could be feeling the same despair terrified Nesrin. An ache formed in her chest.
“A woman like you needs a man who can love her. I can’t be that man.”
His words swept over her like an icy breeze from the glaciers high in the mountains. The hopelessness of her love froze in that spot where there had once been warmth. Her powers had been inadequate to bring forth the magic she had hoped for.
Stubborn determination and pride lifted her chin. “Then we must not partner together again.” For knowing Parker could not love her meant what they had shared was little different than submitting, an act that might have already been at the cost of her freedom.
“I thought you might feel that way.” He stroked the mare between her ears. “But I had to tell you anyway. I didn’t want there to be any misunderstanding between us.”
“You are a most thoughtful man.” Her pain made her tongue as sharp as a scimitar, but he was beyond noticing.
“The Dunlap men aren’t capable of love, Nesrin. I’m sorry.”
She turned away because she could no longer look into the barren depths of Parker’s eyes without seeing her own joyless future. How could he say he was not capable of love when she saw evidence of that ability in everything he did?
It was only she that he could not love, and that bitter recognition echoed with buried memories from the past.
Parker watched her walk away, silently giving himself a good sound thrashing. “Congratulations, buddy. Now you rank right up there with a guy who would kick Amy’s kitten. Or kidnap a seeing-eye dog.”
He took off his hat and slammed it to the ground in frustration. “Damn,” he muttered.
He’d had to be honest with Nesrin. It wasn’t fair to have her hoping for things that couldn’t come true. In the long run, that would be best.
* * *
BY AFTERNOON, the pain in Nesrin’s chest became unbearable. She started at every sound, sure Rasheyd had come for her. Through the window she watched Parker mastering the wild mares one after the other, knowing that she would never again feel his confident touch.
Never in all the centuries she had endured in the lamp had she felt more alone than she did at this dark moment in time.
Seeking solitude of a gentler sort, she slipped out the back door. The children were with Rusty and did not need her care. Somewhere in the rugged hills that surrounded the ranch she would find solace.
Once away from the ranch, she gave free rein to the horse she had saddled. The hot sun dried her tears as they crept down her cheeks. She came upon a small group of stray cattle, their tails switching at flies as they chewed their cud, and she thought perhaps they belonged to Louanne. Grasslands dotted with summer-faded wildflowers gave way to a pine forest.
As the trees closed around her the temperature cooled. She recognized the sound of a fast-running stream, and turned her horse in that direction.
She was near the spot where she, Parker and the children had once picnicked, she realized. With a shimmer of green and silver, the stand of aspen trees drew her.
Halting the horse, she gazed at the stream. Remembering. What was it about her that made her so unlovable? she questioned.
Her mount nickered softly.
Nesrin glanced up.
There, standing no more than a stone’s throw away was the magnificent mustang stallion, Lucifer.
“Have you lost those you love, too?” she whispered.
The mustang remained silent and unmoving.
Nesrin’s mount shifted uneasily.
“Parker would be very pleased if you would return to the ranch with me,” she told the stallion. In fact, if she could capture Lucifer it would please him so much that he might smile once again at Nesrin. It was even possible, she reasoned with desperate hope, that he would find it in his heart to love her.
She nudged her horse forward.
“Your harem is waiting for you at the ranch,” she cajoled. “And Parker is a kind man who will not beat you. So that he can save his ranch, he needs you.”
Approaching Lucifer cautiously, she allowed the stallion to sniff at her mare. “If you would make this sacrifice, I know your women will be most grateful.”
Taking a deep breath, Nesrin slid from her mount onto Lucifer’s back. He sidestepped away from the mare.
“Come now,” she urged. She squeezed with her legs. “I will show you the way to the ranch.”
Parker saw Nesrin riding the stallion toward the corral, the docile mare right behind them, and his jaw went slack. It took him a full minute before he had enough presence of mind to open the gate.
Nesrin grinned down at him with a smile that filled him with guilt. She’d risked her neck capturing Lucifer, and all Parker had done was make her miserable. He couldn’t bear the thought that she might have been hurt.
“The stallion will help you pay the moneylenders?” she asked brightly.
He
reached up to lift her from the horse. Her waist was so tiny he could span it with his hands. He ached to fully hold her in his arms again, but he wasn’t going to take advantage of her twice. He was, after all, supposed to be an honorable man. Not that he always acted the part.
He let go of her as soon as her feet touched the ground. “That was a fool thing for you to do, trying to capture a wild stallion on your own.”
Her eyes widened at his gruff tone. “I only thought to please you.”
“Yeah, well, next time I want to round up some mustangs, I’ll get Rusty and the boys to do it. That’s what they get paid for.”
She blinked, and he knew she was fighting tears. “Do you wish me to leave this place?”
Parker’s stomach knotted. “God, no, Nesrin. I don’t want you to go. I...the kids need you.”
“But if Rasheyd comes for me—”
“I swear, I won’t let Rasheyd or anybody else hurt you or take you away. And as long as I own this ranch, you’ve got a home here. Understand?”
For a long moment there was just the sound of milling horses, hooves scraping against stones, then Nesrin gave a quick nod and spun away.
Parker was left with only a trace of her sultry scent to remind him that he was a fool.
* * *
GROUND BEEF. Noodles wrapped in cellophane. A can of soup and some vegetables.
Nesrin stared at the casserole ingredients she had spread out on the kitchen counter. The meat needed to be browned, onions and celery chopped, and the noodles cooked. What did it matter if she cast one little spell? Even if it might go slightly awry. Her cooking skills would certainly not earn her Parker’s love.
It had been two days since she had submitted—partnered with Parker. For Nesrin, every moment had been a torment of joy alternating with the bitter realization that he did not love her.
She lifted her chin. This was but a small spell she had in mind. Quite simple.
Closing her eyes, she pictured meat nicely browned, a knife fairly flying as it chopped onions and celery, and noodles boiling merrily on the stove. A little tomato sauce, some mushroom soup, a few spoonfuls of grated cheese, and garlic for seasoning.
The Cowboy & The Belly Dancer (Heartbeat) Page 11
