by Rose Pearson
“But what if your husband could offer you both?” Amelia asked, with a quick smile. “What if you could still have your freedom yet have a man who loves you by your side? Would that not be the best of both worlds?”
Considering this for a moment, Jessica had to admit that her sister was right. “Yes, it would be,” she agreed. “But you know that it is not likely to happen. In time, I will have no other choice but to marry a titled gentleman of good breeding. It is what is expected of us all.”
Amelia pressed her hand but Jessica turned her gaze back to the military men walking past her, the ache in her heart growing steadily.
“Do not give up all hope,” Amelia said in her ear, speaking quietly so that none of her other sisters could hear. “Perhaps there is a military gentleman in your future, Jessica, one who will be able to give you all that your heart desires.”
A small hope began to burn in Jessica’s heart and, as she smiled, the ache in her heart lessened. “Perhaps,” she said, softly. “Perhaps one day I shall marry a gentleman from the army, who will take me places I have only ever dreamed of.”
Chapter One
Six years later
“Amelia!”
Jessica laughed wildly as Amelia threw her arms around her, clearly delighted to see her.
“I am so glad you came,” Amelia exclaimed, releasing her and grasping Jessica’s shoulders. “I have missed you.”
“Missed me?” Jessica replied, quirking one eyebrow. “And I always thought you found my antics more than a little frustrating!”
Amelia laughed and looped one arm around her sister’s waist. “I will admit that yes. But now that I am wed and expecting a child of my own, I confess that I miss your carefree nature and constant smiles.” Her smile dimmed a little. “I have always been the serious one, have I not?”
“And I have loved you for it,” Jessica replied, softly. “Come now, I know Harmonia and Jacintha are desperate to see you.”
Amelia pulled off her gloves and handed them – and the rest of her ensemble – to the waiting butler. “And papa?” she asked, softly. “How is he?”
Jessica smiled, wanting to assuage her sister’s obvious anxiety. “He is quite well, do not worry. He rests most afternoons, but I am quite sure he will see you at dinner.”
The relief on Amelia’s face was immediate. “Good, I am glad. That is one of the worst things about living so far away – I have a constant worry about father’s health.”
Patting Amelia’s arm, Jessica walked with her up the staircase, making sure to move a little more slowly than usual given Amelia’s condition. The thought of becoming an aunt in a few short months was both exciting and terrifying in equal measure.
“And has papa been pushing you to wed?” Amelia asked, her breath coming a little more quickly as they reached the top of the staircase. “I had thought he might continue to try and get Harmonia and Luke to marry but from what Harmonia has written to me of late, I considered that it was no longer a foregone conclusion.”
Sighing heavily, Jessica shook her head. “Father is as eager as ever for the rest of his daughters to wed, even though you are happily settled and could easily care for the rest of us should something happen to papa – but you are right to think that he is no longer as eager for Harmonia and Luke to wed. The possibility is still there, of course, but Harmonia herself seems a little more set against it.”
Amelia let out a long breath, her eyes brightening. “I am glad to hear it. I have spent a long while praying that she would let that idea go entirely. Harmonia is young and can do a great deal better than cousin Luke. I am quite sure they would not suit and then Harmonia would be quite miserable.”
Jessica could not help but agree. “Indeed, although I am sorry that I did not take as much of an interest in Harmonia and Luke’s connection. I might have been able to talk to her a little more at the time, instead of leaving it all to you.”
Amelia shook her head, letting her sister’s arm fall as they made their way to the drawing room. “Think nothing of it, Jessica. I know that you and Jacintha are close and I was more than happy to talk to Harmonia about our cousin. I am just glad that it appears not to be going ahead.”
There was no more to be said on the subject, for the moment Amelia stepped inside, Jacintha and Harmonia hurried towards her, exclaiming over her and delighting in seeing her again. Jessica quietly rang for tea, smiling to herself as she saw the happiness on each of her sister’s faces.
The truth was, Jessica had never truly considered marriage to be something she would be forced to take up any time soon. She had hoped that once Amelia had wed and become quite settled, then her father might relent and allow her a little more freedom. Freedom to socialize, to dance and to meet all kinds of gentlemen – never taking the matter too seriously. Of course, in time, Jessica knew she would have to marry but she was desperate to enjoy herself a little first. They had not been in town for the Season for some years and, whilst the focus had been on Amelia, it now appeared that their father intended to remain in London until the little Season, reminding Jessica that it was now her duty to find herself a suitable husband. The freedom that she had once experienced back at her father’s country estate seemed all but gone, now that she was required to think carefully about her future. At times, Jessica wished that she could disappear into another world, another life, where she was not expected to think only about her duty as the daughter of a Duke.
“Come, now!” Harmonia exclaimed, ushering Amelia to a soft cushioned chair. “Sit, Amelia, we must know all of your news.”
Jessica went to join them, glad when the maid appeared with the tea trays. Amelia told them a great many stories and Jessica smiled delightedly at them all, thinking that Amelia deserved such happiness.
“It is quite clear your husband adores you!” she exclaimed, seeing pink rise in Amelia’s cheeks. “I am glad for you, of course.”
“Love is a very great blessing,” Amelia agreed, quietly. “One I did not earn but one I am most glad for.” She looked around each of her sisters in turn, her expression serious. “I would wish that for you all, truly. Take time to find a gentleman who will honor and cherish you, who will love you just as you are and in spite of your faults.” A small smile lifted the corner of her lips. “I know papa is determined that you are all to be married and settled and I can well understand the pressure that brings to bear.”
Amelia’s gaze landed on Jessica, who gave her a small smile, knowing that Amelia truly did know what it felt like to be in her situation.
“We are to stay for the little Season,” she murmured, wondering if Amelia already knew of their father’s plans.
“Although what we are to do in the meantime I have very little idea!” Jacintha piped up, looking a little sorry for herself. “There are fewer and fewer balls and very little company to speak of.”
Much to Jessica’s surprise, Amelia grinned, her eyes twinkling.
“I believe I may have a solution for that,” Amelia said, her smile broadening. “I have yet to speak to papa to ensure he is still quite content for this to go forward, but I was hoping that you might be willing to join me at my estate for a prolonged holiday.”
Jessica blinked, a warm glow of happiness slowly beginning to mount in her chest. To stay with Amelia for a time would mean a relaxing of her responsibility to find a husband, an easing of the pressure brought to bear by her well-meaning papa.
“Do you think papa will agree?” she asked, a little breathlessly, clasping her hands in her lap as she leaned forward.
Amelia chuckled. “I have already asked him, my dear sister, and yes, he is quite happy to allow you all to stay as far as I know. I just must confirm a few details with him, but he will be vastly delighted to have you taken off his hands for a short while!” Her eyes sparkled with mirth as Jessica, Jacintha and Harmonia each exclaimed wildly with delight, wide smiles stretching across each of their faces.
“And,” Amelia continued, once the hubbub had died do
wn a little, “I must also inform you that some military men are to come to the town of Kilgar which borders our estate.” She turned knowing eyes onto Jessica, who was instantly reminded of the time Amelia had suggested that Jessica might, one day, wed an army man, albeit one of good breeding and high title. Flushing to the roots of her hair, Jessica gave a half smile and tried not to respond to the questioning looks of her other two sisters.
There was a brief pause, broken only by Jacintha clapping her hands together and launching into a thousand questions about when they might leave, what they should bring and how often there would be balls or the like. Amelia just laughed, teasing Jacintha about the great many gentlemen she would leave in her wake, whilst Harmonia poured more tea.
Jessica sat quietly and allowed this news to wash over her. It would be wonderful to leave town for a time, especially when the season was all but finished, and to spend time with Amelia and Northfell in their new home was sure to be a delight, but still the burden of marrying soon – and marrying well – remained when, only a moment ago, she had thought it lifted. Papa was sure to remind her that there would be titled men amongst the military, mostly those involved in training the new recruits of course, but Jessica was not altogether sure that she wanted to wed any such man – or any gentleman at all, for that matter! How she wished she could simply enjoy her first proper Season without any particular expectation!
“If you will excuse me,” she said, rising to her feet as she was filled with a sudden urge to be in her own company. “I think I shall take a brief walk.”
Three faces looked back at her, each filled with concern.
“Are you quite all right?” Harmonia asked, her eyebrows furrowing. “Do you want someone to come with you?”
“No, no, I assure you I am quite well,” Jessica replied, with a small smile. “I just want a little bit of time alone, that is all.” She saw the understanding in Amelia’s expression, seeing that she knew exactly how she felt.
“Take your time,” Amelia replied, softly. “And know that I am always here for you to talk to.”
Jessica said nothing, simply nodded and turned to leave the room. The conversation only picked up again once she had reached the door and, shutting it quickly, Jessica leaned back against it and let out a long breath.
“I do not want to marry,” she whispered to herself, finally admitting what was going on in her heart. “At least, not like this. Not when I am being pushed to do so.” The burden of responsibility sat as heavily on her shoulders as it ever had, and Jessica sighed, pressing one hand to her heart. She had enjoyed the attentions of various gentlemen before now, of course, for what young lady would not enjoy dancing and good conversation? But that had been when Amelia had been the focus, the one who would have to make a match first – and Jessica had not expected her sister to marry so quickly. She had thought there would be a great many months of freedom for herself and her sisters, never once taking the matter with any level of seriousness.
But now, when it came to it, Jessica had to admit that matrimony was not what she wanted but, as she had to admit, there was very little she could do about the matter. To refuse to marry would mean that her father would be upset, and her younger sisters might continue to wait for her to change her mind, spending years entirely unattached. Jessica knew she could not do such a thing to Harmonia and Jacintha. She loved them too dearly to allow them to live a life of solitude simply because she did not wish to marry.
“What is to be done?” she whispered to herself, walking away from the drawing room and making her way down the stairs, suddenly desperate to be out in the gardens, entirely alone.
Chapter Two
“Are you not excited, Jessica?”
Jessica looked over at Jacintha, whose eyes were practically glowing with happiness.
“I suppose I am a little,” she replied, somewhat disinterestedly. “It is just that we will not know a great many people here.”
Harmonia laughed, pulling on her gloves. “But Amelia and Northfell will introduce us! You need not worry on that regard.” Glancing at Jessica in the mirror, Harmonia’s expression grew a little sympathetic. “Are you still concerned about what papa said to us?”
Jessica winced, recalling the way her father had pressed on her to return to London an engaged woman. “A little,” she mumbled, turning away from Harmonia.
“He was not being altogether serious,” Harmonia replied, softly, coming towards Jessica and putting one hand on her arm. “You know papa just wants our best, dear Jessica. That is all.”
Jessica nodded and tried to smile. “I am well aware of that, Harmonia. It is just that I do not wish to marry!”
“Not at all?” Jacintha exclaimed, sounding quite astonished at the idea. “Goodness, Jessica! You have been delighted with all the attentions of late, I had thought. You practically threw yourself into the dancing at the last ball we attended.”
Jessica bit her lip, not quite sure how to respond. Jacintha could, mayhap, not quite understand where she was coming from, given that it was not yet her turn to find a suitor. “I do enjoy the dancing and conversation,” she said, slowly. “But it seems to take on a different tone when one must find a husband.”
Jacintha was still frowning, although Harmonia looked a little more sympathetic. “I had thought to marry cousin Luke,” Harmonia replied, with a quiet laugh. “It was simply so that I did not have to put myself through all the conversation and courtship that comes with finding a partner. What if they are not whom they appear? Or what if they proclaim affection yet, when one marries, it dries up?” Her eyes filled with worry. “I had thought that, with cousin Luke, I would, at least, be assured of his character. It seemed so simple, yet Amelia has persuaded me not to agree to wed him so now it appears that I must do just as you are, Jessica, albeit not for a few months yet.”
Pressing Harmonia’s hand, Jessica paused for a moment, caught up by the anxiety in Harmonia’s eyes. It was clear that her youngest sister knew a little of what she was experiencing, whilst Jacintha evidently did not.
“I am quite sure we will all be happily married very soon and in a few years’ time, be laughing at all this together,” Jacintha interrupted, as Harmonia stepped away to finish putting on her gloves. “Now, will you please hurry, Jessica? I can already hear the music and I do not wish to be late!”
Trying to calm her anxious mind, Jessica took her gloves from Jacintha and pulled them on, smoothing the fabric carefully. Glancing at herself in the mirror, she saw that her usual happy expression was dimmed somewhat, the light gone from her dark green eyes. Her blonde hair was piled up on her head, with small tendrils escaping from it to soften her appearance, and small pearls had been added to her coiffure. And yet, despite the loveliness of her gown, there was a sadness playing about in her expression that could not be entirely hidden.
“Come,” she heard Harmonia say, taking her arm. “Let us go. We do not want to keep Amelia waiting.”
The moment the sisters stepped into the ballroom, they were caught up in the usual whirlwind of guests, music, and laughter. Amelia was there to greet them, her husband standing right beside her with a broad smile on his face. How glad Jessica was that Lord Northfell had proved to be such a kind man who clearly adored her sister! He had been most welcoming in the three days they had already spent here, and his young daughter was a complete delight. Jessica had seen the warmth in Amelia’s eyes when she’d played with the child and knew she would be a wonderful mother, not only her own baby but also to her stepdaughter.
“You look beautiful!” Amelia exclaimed, grasping Jessica’s hand. “I do hope you enjoy yourself this evening, Jessica. None of that anxiety now.” Her eyes searched Jessica’s face, to the point that Jessica felt as though her inmost feelings were laid bare for Amelia to see. “Do not worry about what father said,” Amelia continued, more quietly. “Enjoy yourself this evening. Dance and smile and make new acquaintances. There are a great many of them to be had!” Something sparked in Amelia’
s eyes, the smallest of smiles touching her lips, and Jessica frowned.
“Do you have a specific acquaintance in mind?” she asked, quietly, wondering if Amelia had intentions for her to meet someone in particular.
“No, of course not! Amelia replied, sounding a little offended. “All I am saying is that some of the military are here this evening and I thought, given what I’d said to you before, that you might be interested to meet some of them.”
Jessica blinked twice, something curling up in her belly. “The military?” she croaked, turning her head to look out across the sea of guests. “You invited the military?”
“Not all of them, of course,” Amelia replied, calmly. “Those of higher rank mostly, although there are a couple of other acquaintances that Northfell has known previously who are not of the same standing.” She lifted one shoulder, giving Jessica a half smile. “Not that it matters all too much, given that this is to be nothing more than an enjoyment for you.”
“Quite,” Jessica heard herself say, a little hoarsely. “I suppose I should join my sisters.”
“I will be along shortly,” Amelia replied, letting go of Jessica’s hand. “You already know Miss Thornley, I believe, and a few others. They will introduce you to others, should you require it.”
Jessica smiled and moved towards the small staircase that led into the ballroom, glad that they had already met a few of the guests already in their short time at the Northfell estate. It meant that there would not be any particular difficulty in finding themselves either dance partners or someone to talk to.
“Goodness!” she heard Harmonia murmur, under her breath. “There are a great number of uniforms here.”
“The military,” Jacintha breathed, clutching at Jessica’s arm. “Goodness, just look at them all!”
What is next for Jessica? Could she find a military man to wed suitable for a Duke’s daughter? Find out the rest of the story on the Kindle store. My Restless Earl
