In Search of Satisfaction

by J. California Cooper

  Emily also knew she would never inherit Carlene’s money, so she decided she would make her mother’s money grow. Phillip respected that and admired his little sister’s determination and no-nonsense mind. He determined to help her, though he told her she would never have to worry about Richlene nor herself as long as he was able to do anything. Emily was serious when she answered, “I don’t want to depend on anyone. I have seen Aunt Sally’s misery.”

  Emily loved her mother dearly. The only thing that worried her, and Phillip as well, was when Richlene said she loved Luke, the gardener, and wanted to spend her last years with him.

  Phillip pleaded with her, “Can’t you go on, as you have done for years, being friends?”

  Richlene smiled at her son, happiness glowing in her face. “Oh we … are. We are. But … Emily wants … to … go away … to school. Then … to university. And … you … you are … gone already. I want to be with … Luke.”

  Phillip frowned. “Has he … Have you ever …”

  Richlene still smiled. “Luke … would never … do anything … to me. I have … not even … told him … yet … that I … am … going to be with him!” She laughed. “Except … I have … told … him … for a long time … in many ways.” Her voice softened. “I love him. He … won’t touch … me. He won’t … take … any … money … to fix … his house for … his sisters. I know … I am … older … than he is, but I … am … not … real … old. My hair … is not … gray. But … I know he loves me … I know … it.”

  Phillip sighed. “Perhaps time will work it all out. It will pass.”

  Richlene laughed happily. “Yes … yes. Time … will work it … out.”

  But they did not mean the same things. She knew that. She took Phillip’s hand and held it to her breast. “Son … you know … I have … always … wanted a … real family. I have … always … always … wanted to be … really … loved. I have … been … touched … by … people, my … father, and in a … different … way, my husband. But … son, I … have never … really … been touched … inside. I have … never … never … felt any … thing … with … anybody. But, Luke … Luke touches me … inside … on my soul, … my heart … no matter … how far away … he is. I … am … not an … emp … ty … shell … with Luke. I … am … a full … woman.” She smiled shyly at her son. “What does … color … matter … compared with … happiness? Because I … love him … and … he loves … me.”

  later, alone, Richlene lay in her bed and thought about when she and Luke worked in the gardens together. Lately, his mind seemed to be taken up with the problems his Indian friends were having. It seemed it was possible they would have to move on, far away from their homes. No one, Indian or not, seemed to be able to get through to the government. The government talked legal gibberish when they did get to speak to their Indian representatives in Washington, D.C. They were not Indian representatives after all, they were simply the ones chosen to be the middlemen for the government.

  Richlene had asked Luke, “But … won’t they … send them to another … place … just as nice?”

  Luke had answered, “This is already a nice place. It is their home now, for many years. Why should they have to move? This is their own country! And it’s in a treaty, too!”

  They had talked for hours, many times, until one day Luke mentioned that Little Wisdom wanted to marry him so she could stay near her friends and, maybe, even keep some of her family there.

  Richlene said, “Oh … she … does, does she?!”

  “That’s what that chile says.”

  “Well, what … about me?” Richlene looked into his face and was not smiling as usual.

  Luke had sighed, weary. “Well, Miz Richlene, I done told you, I love you, too. But I am a poor man and ain’t none of that gonna change. What would you do with a man like me? I am a Negro man, too. You would have to bury all your family, if you was with me!”

  “Well, I … done told you, Luke, I … love you. I want to love … you and … work in … our garden. We’d … have … a beauti … ful garden, Luke.”

  Luke smiled. “We can still have that, little lady.”

  “But … I … don’t want … to … stay here … with … Carlene. I … never … would be … happy.”

  Luke wiped his brow of perspiration. “Well, Miz Richlene, I don’t know what I can do. I can’t even help my Indian friends. I ain’t free, but I don’t think nobody can make me move. They ain’t free and somebody is making them move. If I could do anything, I would help them to be free. First. See, I love you, but I love freedom. For everybody.”

  richlene stretched in her bed, uncomfortable now, thinking of the fact that Little Wisdom wanted to marry Luke. Suddenly she sat up and spoke to herself, “I have … an idea … now!” In the morning, she told Phillip her idea. He didn’t try to change her mind. “Hell, she can never spend all that money anyway. She deserves whatever she wants,” he thought. He smiled and promised to look into it right away.

  during the time Carlene, Yin and Hosanna were off on their trip, Phillip had investigated, requested and received help with the Indian Affairs offices. He purchased for Richlene, with her money, 100,000 acres of hills and land across the river in Yoville, with frontage on the river. The cost was very little compared to what the government had told the Indians. Because he was who he was, he paid about ten cents an acre.

  When he told his mother the land was hers, she had him prepare papers to sign it over to the Indians, with a little land reserved for her, if she should ever want to build over there. She already knew she would.

  Then she told Luke. He looked at her in wonder and, for the first time, when she threw her arms around his neck, he hugged her back. Both were happy for themselves … and others, too.

  Richlene leaned her head back, she would not let go of Luke. “Will … you … build a house … for me, Luke?” She was still thinking of Little Wisdom.

  Luke laughed and hugged her. “I’ll build you a castle!”

  Richlene hugged him tighter. “I know.”

  Luke leaned back from her. “With a beautiful garden.”

  Richlene smiled back at him. “Inside … and … out!”

  chapter

  40

  when Carlene, Yin and Hosanna returned several weeks later, Carlene and Yin were hardly speaking to each other, except through Hosanna. The yacht had been beautiful, Yin and Hosanna had learned a great deal. Hosanna had learned a few more tasty recipes and she had visited a castle or two. In fact, she was the only one of the three who had enjoyed herself.

  Yin huffed off the riverboat almost before it docked. She was still complaining about tired, old men and watchful, jealous wives. Carlene laughed at her, glad at Yin’s discomfort. Carlene had known what the trip would be like, but she had plans for Yin and Phillip or Mr. Ways. She hadn’t intended for Yin to meet anyone she would want.

  Yin rushed home to find a fat, healthy baby and a smiling Aunt Ellen standing on the porch waiting for her. She reached for her baby. “Joseph! Mama has missed you! She missed you in her bed every morning!” She also had a letter from Arabella Befoe, inviting her to come visit for some festivities. Yin screamed with joy. Here was a woman, a friend, who know what she was after!

  Hosanna went home loaded with packages for her family. Happy. She was hugged and kissed, even by Lettie and especially by Lovey. While Hosanna was gone Lovey had received a beautiful wagon made of highly polished wood and metal with a sterling shaft just right for her and even a strong, rubber-tipped stick to push herself along with. It was from Lincoln, with a note saying, “You thought I forgot, didn’t you?” Lovey would sit in it with stars in her eyes, thinking more of Lincoln than the wagon which now made her more mobile.

  Carlene went home to find the house empty except for the cook and Minna, who had really enjoyed Carlene being away. Sally had moved into her new home. It had been entirely redone and furnished.

  Carlene sighed, “Good. We shall see what we shall
see.” As Minna helped her undress, Carlene sighed. “I’m tired. I’m too old for these trips. That’s my last one.”

  while Richlene was still living with Carlene, Phillip came to see her as often as college and business would allow, and they were falling more in love as can be said of a mother and son just reunited to each other.

  While Phillip and Lincoln finished law school, Phillip asked Lincoln to work for him, to live on his grand estate, make himself at home and check every paper written in the last year in each of Phillip’s inherited businesses. All was going well. Lincoln was exceptionally smart and understood the legal terminology enough to catch and correct, to Phillip’s advantage, many things usually left to attorneys with no real interest in Phillip Befoe or Richard Befoe before him. Lincoln was well paid for his time and effort. They had grown quite close. Lincoln Creed was, indeed, trustworthy.

  on one such visit to his mother’s home, Carlene sent for Phillip. She was wondering how much he knew, how much she should tell him about his real father. She decided she would hold it as an ace. She still did not want the name Befoe tainted. Unless, of course, it was necessary to gain some control. Richlene had been told so many times Phillip was her husband’s child, she had become confused. “But … I … remember … something,” Richlene said to herself sometimes. It had not all come back to her, so she could not tell Phillip who his father really was. It would never come up again, unless Carlene decided to tell. Carlene considered telling Phillip but couldn’t decide what control that would give her over him.

  Carlene did not know about Richlene’s new ventures, the Indian land, or Luke. She had not long returned from her yacht trip and Minna no longer gossiped with her. She only knew the house was often empty. Emily was begging to be sent away to school to prepare for university. Carlene often thought Richlene was working in some garden somewhere.

  On the day she heard Phillip was coming, she left word for him to come to her. It was early afternoon when he arrived. The spider, older now but not really old because spiders can live up to twenty years or so, sat wrapped in its legs, watching Carlene, as usual. Waiting, as Carlene waited.

  At the knock on the door, firm but gentle, Carlene called, “Come in, come in.” Phillip entered. Carlene spoke in her friendly voice, “Well, what a fine, handsome gentleman it is. My grandson. How is it you never come up to see me when you visit?” She smiled at him.

  Phillip tilted his head and slightly smiled back to her. “I waited until you were ready, Grandmother.”

  Carlene laughed softly. “Well, I’ve been ready. Waiting. How are you? And how do you like our home, your home here? Your other home is much grander, of course. Older.”

  Phillip smiled again lightly. “I like them both. I particularly like this house because my mother is here.”

  Carlene nodded approval, “Yes, yes. Well, I hope you understand that it was all for the best, the things that … happened. Your mother was so young …”

  “And I was so young, also.” Phillip looked into her eyes.

  Carlene looked away toward the windows. “Yes, well … we can see it has done you no harm.”

  “You can not always ‘see’ harm, Grandmother.”

  Carlene looked back at him. “Well, everything seems to have turned out for the best.”

  Phillip still smiled. “What is best, Grandmother? Who’s best?”

  “Surely, Phillip, you do not hold me responsible? I had nothing to do with what happened. Your … grandfather was responsible for any decision about you.”

  “Well, I am here, safe and sound.”

  “Yes, well, what are your plans now, my boy?”

  “Nothing has changed, except I have more work to do. I will finish law school and then get to work.”

  “I understood you had already ‘gotten to work’.”

  Phillip smiled down at his hands. “Everyone should know their business. First hand.”

  “Where will you be living when you finish college, Phillip?”

  “Grandmother, I haven’t decided.”

  Carlene gave him her best, most charming smile. “Then I insist you live here. With us, your family.” She was watching his reaction. “I know a great deal about our business, your business.” She laughed good naturedly. “I can be a great help to you. As a matter of fact, if you give me power of attorney, I can take care of everything for you and you can finish college at ease, knowing everything will be taken care of. Then, my boy, I suggest a year or two of travel, Europe, the Far East. See the world. You have business everywhere!”

  Phillip smiled brightly at her. “Thank you, Grandmother, very much. But I have already taken care of everything so I can continue my studies at ease. But I am young, I am not looking for ease. I am quite anxious to get into the middle of everything that is in my hands. I have hired … the proper people to see to my interest. I would not dream of bothering you. You are old, now. You deserve your rest.”

  Carlene’s smile dimmed. “My mind is not old, it does not need rest.”

  Phillip’s smile brightened. “My mind is not crowded or tired. I am fresh. I will be capable. Don’t worry about me, Grandmother. Perhaps … there is something I can look after for you?”

  Narrowing her eyes, lowering her head slightly, Carlene answered, “No, no. I am quite capable myself. Thank you.”

  She was silent for a moment, as Phillip waited. Then, “Phillip, do you ever think of getting married? Are you in love? Is there a lucky girl? … Somewhere?”

  Phillip laughed softly. “No, Grandmother, no, there is not. I like them all, but nothing special. I have time, I hope. Because I know what I want and I will wait for it, I hope.”

  Phillip stood up. “Well, Grandmother, I promised my mother we would go for a short trip across the river …”

  “How nice. I don’t know what Richlene is always going over there for. If she likes being outdoors, she should go into the gardens right here!”

  “Say, Grandmother … would you mind terribly, if I called you Carlene or Granny? ‘Grandmother’ just seems so long a word.”

  “But it sounds so like a family, Phillip. ‘Carlene’ sounds so distant. And not ‘granny’ ever! If you don’t like ‘grandmother,’ how about ‘Grand’?”

  “Well, Grand, if there is nothing else, I will say good-bye for now. Perhaps we will see you at dinner.”

  “I seldom come downstairs, Phillip, but perhaps … my boy.”

  “Do me a favor, Grand? Don’t call me your ‘boy.’ I am a man.”

  “Well …” Carlene started to speak.

  “Good-bye, Grand.” Phillip smiled and was gone, gently closing the door.

  Carlene had noted two things. “He is like my husband, Richard. He did not ask to take care of my business so he could discover what my business and finances are and, perhaps, take advantage of me. And,” she closed her eyes, “he is like my lover, Richard, my uncle. When he turned back and smiled, I saw my lover in his face, his body, and my body was stirred as it has not been for years and years and years.” Carlene stared at the door after he was gone, for a long, long time. The spider stared at Carlene all the while.

  emily had been begging her mother for several months to let her go away to a good school. “I am young. I need to know so many things, Mother. I have to get prepared for a university. I am going to need the best knowledge money can buy.”

  Richlene’s voice was sad. “But … why? Why … do you … want to leave … me? We have … money … enough money.”

  Emily wanted to put her arms around her little mother, but she could not weaken. “Mother, I have explained to you. As I get older, I may have to battle for my rights. Any money you leave me is going to be schemed on, especially by my brother, Carlton. And others. I have to know what I am doing. I do not intend to lose anything to anyone just because I am a girl and they will not allow me to understand what they are doing with my money! I have to get an education, the same education they get, so I will know what they are doing! All the time! A tutor at home i
s no longer enough! If the tutor really knew anything, he would not be here teaching one child!”

  “Ohhhh, Emily. I … can … not … bear to … lose you.”

  “Oh, Mama, Mama, you will not lose me. I am your daughter. I will fight for us. And you have Phillip. He loves you. He loves us. He is the only one I trust in this house, in this world, besides you, and you are not a match for anyone. You are too kind sometimes. I will be the one who makes your fortune grow. Our fortune. Grandmother is not going to leave me anything and I already know it. I have to count on myself. So I am begging you, let me choose where I want to go, then let me go.”

  “Oh, my baby … my baby girl. I don’t care … about … a fortune.”

  “That is because you have one. Look at me, Mother, I am not a child any longer. I will soon be fifteen years old. And I am dumb. Phillip is only nineteen or so and he is almost a lawyer. I want to study the law and economics.” She put her arms around her mother and held her tightly. “Oh, Mama, Mama. I have to work on my future, too.”

  “Alright … Emily … Choose … and go. But … you come back … to me. You hear … me?”

  “I will never really leave you, Mama.”

  luke was building the house for Richlene across the river on the river’s edge. Richlene often went to see it and even helped stack bricks and carry nails, any small thing she could do. She was happy. And so was Luke. Only Little Wisdom was not. She was happy about the land and a home that was stable. But she did love Luke. She did not dislike Richlene, but, she envied her.

  Satan wondered how far Little Wisdom would go to get Luke for herself. “One is dumb, one is black, one is young. There ought to be something interesting there.” But he couldn’t wait around, there were some large, grand things going on all over the world. Something called television was in the making. “I can get into every home at the same time!” Satan gloated. The new America was going into debt for wars and the new war was due any minute. The old world needed help thinking of new ways to get people to go to war. To still be willing to die. “No rest for the wicked!” he laughed as he flew away.