by Potter, LR
His dark hair, usually cut professional short, was getting a little long and the edges were beginning to curl. He’d not shaved today, so he possessed a sexy five o’clock shadow. Her stomach muscles tightened at just how yummy he was. Feeling the weight of her stare, he glanced over and grinned.
“You’re staring at me again,” he jested.
“Uh huhhmm.”
“You’re never going to finish if you don’t stop.”
“I know,” she said with a sigh.
Flashing a sexy little smile that would make angels weep, Jace slid to his knees and crawled towards her with mock menace. “Well, if the case being is, you are on a little break, I know several things we can do to help you… relax,” he said suggestively.
“Do you now?”
“Oh yes,” he murmured when he came to within a hairsbreadth of her face.
With his hands and knees supporting his weight, he leaned slightly forward and placed his lips softly against hers. This very delicate contact sent a sizzle of electricity through her body. Her chest tightened and her breathing became shallow and more rapid – all just from this small contact. She stayed perfectly still, waiting to see what he would do next. She liked his sexy little game. With the tip of his tongue, he licked across the seam of her lips, and she gasped at the sensual feel. He took advantage of her slightly parted lips to slip his tongue in between them. Her heart began to pound as he licked slow and easy into her mouth. The man knew how to kiss.
With a growl, he leaned into her, then over her as she landed lightly on her back. He lifted from her lips to stare intently into her whiskey-colored eyes.
“You are so beautiful,” he murmured huskily.
She blushed at his words and wondered if she’d ever get used to the feeling of amazement that he thought that way of her.
“So are you,” she whispered.
He slid down her body and slipped to lie between her legs. On his elbows, he nudged the hem of her shirt as he kissed and growled against her flat belly. Her heart began to thump madly in her chest at his intent. He dipped his tongue into her bellybutton and she shivered. He rose up on his knees and pushed her shirt up slowly and smoothly until her bra was exposed.
“Oh, my,” he exclaimed softly when he realized her bra unfastened in the front.
She closed her eyes as the flames of desire began to curl within her belly when, with nimble fingers, he unfastened the bra, and taking a breast in each hand, he brushed softly against her nipples with his thumbs. She couldn’t suppress the moan and involuntary movement of her body against his at his soft caress on such sensitive points. When he rolled the points between his fingers, she gasped. When she opened her fevered eyes to him, he gave her his devilish, dimple-laden smile and slowly replaced his thumbs with his lips. With the same talent he used when kissing, he worshiped her breasts with his lips and tongue. With the top of his tongue, he lapped against each nipple causing her to grind her body intimately against his as she felt the sensation from her nipples down to her groin. She tangled her trembling fingers into his short hair as she panted.
Licking up her neck, he groaned in her ear, “I want you.”
Lowering his hard body into her soft, pliant form, he rubbed against her intimately and suggestively. The old familiar panic struggled to gain a foothold in her chest. She closed her eyes, and just for an instant, she saw Nick looming over her with his evil grin. She shook her head to rid herself of the image.
Her heart seemed to be trying to beat out of her chest and she struggled to pull long, deep breaths into her lungs at his words. She knew he wanted her – he’d told her enough times. But she was scared of this… of him… of losing him – of closing her eyes and seeing Nick over and over again. With extreme effort, she struggled to regain her sanity from the rioting emotions within her. Her body was on fire, but what if he was like all the rest? What if all he wanted to do was pound himself into her, then walk away, leaving her with tears on her face?
“Not yet,” she whispered almost fearfully.
With his face still buried in her neck, he continued to rub his body intimately against hers.
“Come on, baby,” he gusted, as he licked the outer edges of her ear.
Desire warred with panic. She wanted him so much. She wanted him to quell the fire burning deep in her belly and lower. But she was afraid to take the chance that he was different.
“I can’t,” she whimpered.
Breathing heavily, he lifted his head to stare at her, his blue eyes filled with want and desire.
“I don’t understand.” Then, as something occurred to him, he lifted slightly trembling hands to her face. “Tate, have you ever been with anyone?”
Tate inhaled sharply at his words and almost wanted to laugh at the absurdness of the question. How did she answer him? She couldn’t… she just couldn’t.
“I’m just not ready,” she whispered.
He stared deep into her eyes, trying to seek the answers she seemed unable, or unwilling to give.
He leaned his forehead against hers and exhaled deeply. “Tate, I’m trying to be understanding here, but you’re not helping.”
Her heart seized in her chest and she swallowed to keep her emotions in check. He was understandably frustrated and there was nothing she could do about it… nothing she was able to do.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
He jerked his head up at her words. “Don’t be sorry, damn it. Just tell me what it is. I want you. You want me. Why is it any harder than that? What is standing in our way?” He stared down into her sad, desolate eyes for a long time and sighed. “Baby, I can’t help if I don’t know what the problem is. Just tell me.”
She licked her lips and swallowed against the rising panic. “I’m just not ready,” she whispered again.
He pursed his lips and stared at her for a long time before exhaling. “Okay. We’ll wait.” Every degree of warmth seemed to leave her body the instant he rolled off of her. She wished she could be the girl Jace wanted… instead of the girl she was.
The nightmares came back with a vengeance. She woke up in a panic and couldn’t seem to soothe the savage beasts within her. Her heart pounded and her breathing was labored. Evil seemed to swirl around the room encompassing her within its icy claws, forcing her down – holding her down.
§§§
It was Saturday night, and the crowd seemed even larger than usual. Tate was glad to have the crowd as she was still trying to recoup the money that had blown away when Blondie and his gang had attacked her. Besides, she didn’t want time to dwell on the distance which seemed to now be between her and Jace. Between her knowing she shouldn’t be with him, and his frustration because she wouldn’t be with him, she didn’t see how it could end well. He’d called her several times that week, but it was awkward and not filled with his usual good humor. She always knew it would eventually run its course. It just hurt.
She kept an eye open for Jace and finally saw him dart in right after the band started to play. He hurried to the stage, strapped on his guitar, and began playing. He looked tired and stressed. She glanced his way several times, but never was able to catch his eye. What did that mean? The nightclub stayed super busy and her tables were in a constant state of turnover. She looked around when the band broke after its first set, but didn’t see Jace. Where did he go? When the band began again, Jace was on the stage. Was he now avoiding her? She battled the hurt feelings and raging emotions.
The insanity of the night was dwindling down, and the band was in the middle of their last set. She’d just returned to the bar and given her order to Nicko, the bartender filling in for Thor, who’d gone home to attend his son’s wedding, when she heard a commotion on the dance floor. As she turned with her drink tray in hand, she saw Jace wrap his arms around a woman with vibrant red hair, smile deep into her eyes, then bending her over his arm, he kissed her – a deep, long, toe-curling kiss; just like the kisses she’d experienced with him.
Tate’s ar
ms began to tremble and her stomach roiled. She’d known a man like Jace wouldn’t wait around forever. Her heart felt as if someone had reached in and squeezed it with a vice. She felt the window of her trust slam shut. Swallowing hard, she turned away just as he lifted his head and caught her eye. She saw the shock register. With a catch in her chest, she continued her shift.
After dropping off her drink order, she was making her rounds when she felt a hand on her arm. Glancing over her shoulder, she looked into the contrite blue eyes of Jace Staton.
“I… uh… Tate, it’s not what you think,” he stammered.
Shrugging her arm out of his grasp she replied more evenly than she thought possible, “This isn’t the time, Jace. I’m a little busy. We’ll talk later, okay?” She moved away without giving him a chance to respond. She couldn’t do this right now. She had to finish her shift.
For the rest of the night, she felt his eyes on her, but she carefully avoided his gaze.
A little after Last Call, Tate found Zek and told him she wasn’t feeling well. As it wasn’t her habit, he was sympathetic to her cause. She felt guilty for leaving him hanging, but she couldn’t be in the same room with Jace any longer. The kiss and his shameful expression burned a hole in her. And she didn’t want to talk to him just yet. She just needed time to think things through.
Grabbing her stuff, she headed out. She turned towards her apartment but didn’t think she could stand the walls closing in on her. Heading out down the sidewalk, she walked and walked with her head bowed. Eventually, she arrived at the beautiful lighted fountain. Sitting down heavily, she sat for a long time, just watching the play of light against the water. She thought about Dr. Randall’s words about repairing her foundation – about opening up to learn to trust someone. Well, she’d done that and look where it’d gotten her. The problem was she just wasn’t sophisticated enough to run in his circles. What experience she had didn’t apply to this situation, and it was obvious he had plenty of experience.
She never thought Jace would hurt her like this… no, that wasn’t true, this was exactly what she thought would happen. Maybe she should have just slept with him. He might have stayed instead of avoiding her and then attaching himself to the first available woman. Did he have no shame? He’d practically flaunted the kiss right under her nose. Finally, the crisp night air caused her to rise and head for home.
She’d really wanted things to work with Jace. She felt a little lost without him already. She hadn’t realized how much she’d come to depend on the normalcy and naturalness of seeing and being able to go to him without reservation. Now, that was all changed. She knew she had no hold on him – she’d always known that, she guessed. She’d just so hoped. She’d known he was only hers for a short while. But she was selfish and wanted a little more time. He was way too good for the likes of Tate Morgan, aka, Patanga Moon. With a heavy heart, she rose from the park bench with its view of the swans who mated for life. She hoped Jace would find his mate and be happy. After having suffered a lifetime of unhappiness herself, she'd not wish the same fate for him.
She’d gotten halfway home when the rain started. She didn’t care, she just kept walking. It was after three when she turned down the street to Zeal’s. The rain was really coming down now and she was soaked to the bone. She was happy to see the neon lights of the nightclub extinguished. More tired than she could ever remember being, she turned and trudged down the side of the bar and headed towards her apartment. Dejectedly, she grabbed the railing and pulled herself up the stairs. Reaching into her pocket, she grabbed her keys and rose up on the landing.
She yelped when a figure dislodged itself from the shadows.
Jace!
“Where have you been? Why did you leave like that? Why are you out walking in the rain? You’ll catch the death of a cold, you know.”
Exhaling deeply and swiping at the rain on her face, she ignored what she considered the innateness of his words and asked, “What do you want, Jace?”
After a long silence, he said softly, “You… only you.”
Tate turned from him – it hurt her heart to see his beautiful face – to hear his words; words she desperately wanted to believe. Wearily, she leaned her forehead against the door. “I told you I couldn’t date guys in a band. This is why. I can’t… deal with… things, like what happened tonight. I know I have no tie on you, and you are free to be with whomever you want. But I can’t do… whatever this is between us anymore. Please don’t worry. It’s fine, really. I’m too busy to date anyway, what, with school and work and…”
He came up behind her and grabbed her arms. “It wasn’t what you thought, I swear.”
“So, you weren’t kissing a redhead on the dance floor?”
“Listen, can we go inside? We’re both getting drenched.”
“Just go home, Jace. It’s really better this way. We can just be friends. Okay?”
Jace pounded his fist against the wall of the apartment. “No, it’s not okay. The woman was out with a bunch of her friends. It was her bachelorette party and they begged me to kiss her as part of their celebration. I’m sorry, I didn’t know it’d hurt you so much. I’d never have done it.” Wrapping his arms around her, he whispered in her ear, “You’re all I want, Tate, all I want.”
Her heart clenched in her chest. Did she dare believe his words? She so wanted to believe them, but she was terrified of taking a chance – but really, what choice did she have? She’d fallen in love with him. After a minute’s hesitation, she turned in his arms and they devoured each other. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He grabbed her head and placed it where he wanted it and plunged his tongue in her mouth urgently, relentlessly. She whimpered against her immense need for this man against his lips. He pulled away while gasping for breath. She slid down his body and landed on her feet. Finally remembering the pounding rain, she turned and slid her key into the lock, opening the door.
With water pouring off them, they stumbled into the apartment. With urgent and impatient movements, he pushed her against the closed door and pressed his body against hers. She laced her fingers behind his neck and strained up into his kiss. She shivered when he ran his hands down her shoulders and over her breasts. While continuing to hold her captive against the door, he lowered his lips and rained a trail of scorching kisses down her neck. Through the fabric of her Zeal’s T-shirt, he nipped at her nipples, made elongated in equal parts by the cold rain and his fiery touch. She arched her back involuntarily into his feasting mouth. Desire raced a trail of heat from where his lips touched to the apex of her thighs.
Roughly and impatiently, he tugged her sopping wet T-shirt over her head, leaving her standing in her jeans and sheer pink bra.
“Oh, God! I want you so much,” he whispered against her lips. Moving his hands behind her, he made quick work of unfastening her bra. With his chest heaving, he slowed down enough to ease the straps off her shoulders with trembling fingers. She dropped her arms to allow the bra to fall to the floor. Jace’s eyes slid down her bared torso to her ample breasts. Exhaling deeply, he once more dropped his lips down to press kisses over the top of her breasts before sucking a nipple into his mouth.
“Oh,” she gasped as she closed her eyes, pressing his head closer to her body as the fire of desire threatened to burn her alive. As he sucked and nipped at her breasts, she moaned, “Please, oh God, please,” she begged, not sure what for. He wrapped his arms under her bottom and scooped her up. While continuing to thrust his tongue deep into her mouth, he began making his way to her bedroom.
He allowed her to slide down his body until her feet hit the floor. With his magic fingers, he began to unfasten her black work pants. Suddenly, with a groan and extreme effort, he ripped himself away from her and bent at the waist to inhale deeply.
Struggling to control her own breathing, she asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want to do this,” he said, panting as if he’d run the hundred-yard dash.
&nbs
p; Fear and shame had her passion cooling immediately. Turning, she moved to her bed and grabbed her housecoat to cover her nakedness. Unable to hide the hurt in her voice, she murmured, “I don’t understand.”
Eliminating the distance between them, he turned her towards him, grabbed her face between his hands, and placed his lips almost desperately against hers. “Oh, baby, baby, baby,” he murmured against her lips. “I want you desperately… more than air. But I don’t want our first time to be like this. I want it to be special. I want you to be sure. I want you to be ready. Okay?”
He continued to kiss her tenderly and rubbed her back gently, soothing her, and letting her know it was okay.
After placing kisses on her nose, forehead, and cheeks, he pulled back and smoothed her wet hair away from her face. “This really sucks,” he said with a small laugh.
“It really does,” she agreed.
“Are we okay?”
“More, than okay,” she said softly.
“I have to work tomorrow, but how about dinner at my place? I’ll make you my specialty.”
“And what would that be?” she asked with a grin.
“Why, pizza, of course.”
She couldn’t stop the laugh which bubbled up and escaped her lips. He grinned back at her.
“I’ll pick you up after my shift tomorrow, around seven, okay?”
Joyously, she nodded.
§§§
“…Now, Tanga, when Mr. Smith gets here, I want you stand in the middle of the room and slowly turn completely around like we practiced. Okay?”
With her fingers in her mouth, she whimpered, “But it’s embarrassing.”
Lifting a hand to brush her styled hair away from her face, he said softly, “As I’ve told you repeatedly, you have nothing to be embarrassed about.”
With her lips quivering, she asked, “What’s going to happen after?”
