by Cara Albany
The taste was as sweet, but somehow the urgency of the previous need had vanished. Rashid felt a hard knot of regret twist at him as he kissed Nicole. He guessed it would probably be the last kiss of the night. The intimacy of the moment had faded as quickly as it had flared into life.
When their lips parted he stepped away from her. "Let's go back inside," he suggested quietly.
Nicole frowned slightly and then slid down off the balustrade. He could see that her own passion had faded as quickly as his. Did she feel as frustrated as he did? Judging by the tight, tense line of her jaw, he was sure she did.
She paused for a instant and peered inquiringly at Rashid.
"I'll get the staff to bring some drinks for us," he explained, his voice strained.
Nicole turned her head and gazed out into the desert. Rashid was sure she understood now. The light out there was still flickering. When she turned back to him, her expression had changed. There was recognition as well as disappointment on her face.
"Maybe you're right," she said wrapping her arms around herself and drawing in a deep breath. "It's getting a bit chilly out here," she said.
Rashid nodded. They started back toward the dinner table at the far end of the terrace.
As he walked alongside Nicole, Rashid couldn't help asking himself if that first kiss with Nicole would also be the last.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Later in the evening, Nicole paced the floor of her suite, trying to calm herself after the emotional roller-coaster she'd been on downstairs.
Those kisses on the terrace had caused an eruption of sensation in her, triggered a confusing whirl of thoughts in her mind. What had she been thinking of, giving into Rashid like that? It had been as if some irrational force had taken hold of Nicole and pushed her into Rashid's arms. She'd been taken aback by how willing she'd been to allow Rashid to kiss her like that.
But it had felt so good, she told herself.
So good.
Nicole clasped her hands and sighed, still pacing nervously.
The memory of Rashid's body pressing against her, the taste of his lips, the sensation of his tongue probing her mouth, the sheer strength of his body, the force of his need. All of it still burned in her mind.
Down on the terrace, leaning against the balustrade, Nicole had felt something take over her will, driving her to submit to Rashid's desperate want, his obvious desire. Her own sudden desire had seemed almost as strong, almost as fervent as his.
The feel of Rashid's firmly muscled body had been exquisite, a sudden and inexplicable temptation. As she'd grasped the thickness of his hair she'd sensed an urgency, a gratifying pleasure in his reaction. When she'd traced her fingers down his back, savoring the power of those muscles, she'd wanted to claw at him, communicate her need to him. But she'd held back from doing that, restrained the impulses which had seized her.
She couldn't give herself so quickly to him, no matter what had passed between them.
When Rashid had pressed his firmness against her core, she'd felt heat there, an urgent yearning which demanded satisfaction. From the feel of him, he was obviously a man of ample proportions. That had merely added to her impatience to feel him close.
But, then something had caused him to hesitate. At first, Nicole had assumed it had been something in her own reaction which had made him pull away from her. She had searched his face for explanation, seeing the sudden cooling of his desire.
Something had caught his attention and it had been significant enough to force him to seize hold of his senses.
When Nicole had tried to see what had caused that shift in him, he had insisted on kissing her again. At first she'd been relieved, thinking that he'd chosen to sweep aside the distraction, whatever it had been.
Once again, the kiss had transported Nicole to a place she never wanted to leave, a place of pleasure and possession.
Finally though, he'd made it clear that the moment had passed. Their bodies had parted abruptly, and she'd felt every nerve tingle with frustration.
When, finally, she'd turned and looked out at the desert darkness, she'd seen the explanation for his sudden withdrawal. Lights out there had confirmed the presence of someone, an observer. At that moment Nicole had been grateful to Rashid for making the choice to take them both back inside the palace. She'd have been mortified if anything they'd done on the terrace had been witnessed by strangers.
For a short while, they'd remained in the sitting room, drinking coffee and chatting for a while. But she'd known that the memory of what had happened out in the terrace had been like a physical barrier between them, something neither of them dare speak about. The awkwardness had been noticeable. She could tell he felt it as much as her.
Eventually she'd made her excuses and returned to her room. Of course, Rashid had acted like a perfect gentleman, and had courteously accepted her choice to say goodnight to him.
But she had seen the disappointment in his eyes. There had been no hiding the frustration she'd seen in the way he'd looked at her as she'd turned away from him and headed up the stairs.
Now, she knew she had a decision to make. Something had to be done; something had to be said about what had happened. Nicole wasn't sure she'd make it through the next few days if they didn't clear things up between them. Maybe he was suffering as much as she was. Nicole guessed that was probably the case, especially when she remembered the urgency of his desire.
Nevertheless, she knew what would happen if she and Rashid didn't establish some clear ground rules for the coming days.
Nicole halted her nervous pacing and felt resolve begin to strengthen. She had to speak with Rashid. Even if that meant going to his room, with all the risk that entailed. Would she be able to resist him?
Nicole went to the door and paused, briefly running over in her mind what she was going to say to him. She would tell him that she would stay, but only if they agreed that what had happened down on the terrace couldn't be allowed to happen again. Even as she thought that, she knew it wasn't true; knew it wasn't what she really wanted. But, there was nothing else she could do. Giving in to the temptations of this sheikh would turn her world upside down. And she wasn't sure she was ready for that. Not now. Maybe not ever.
As she reached for the door handle, she started to run over in her mind just what she would say to him once she'd reached his room. She pulled the door open and shrieked in surprise when she saw Rashid standing there in the corridor.
His eyes widened. "Nicole!"
"Rashid? What are you doing there?" Nicole asked sharply, feeling her nerves tingle with the shock of seeing him. He looked more tired than earlier. His white shirt was unbuttoned half way down his chest, and she could see the tempting dark hair which matted the front of his torso.
He paused, his gaze thoughtful. "I wanted to speak to you for a moment. About what happened earlier," he said slowly.
"You did?" she asked, feeling a slight irritation that he'd stolen her thunder.
Rashid nodded. He glanced down the length of the corridor, then back to her. "Can I come in?"
Nicole held the door and leaned against the doorframe. "I'm not sure that's a good idea, right now, Rashid," she replied.
Of course she couldn't let him into her room, she told herself. Not after what she'd been thinking about for the last half hour. Not while her emotions were still so raw, so chaotic.
He looked disappointed, but didn't react by immediately repeating his request. Instead, he simply nodded. His gaze was intense, examining her features for a few moments.
Rashid advanced toward her, and she drew the door closer to her, as if closing the space, making it clear that he wasn't going to gain entry to her room.
Rashid lowered his head and sighed. When he lifted his gaze back to her he leaned his hand against the wall by the door. He was so close now, she could breathe in his musky scent, the same one which had driven her senses wild down on the terrace. Nicole felt her face color, heat making her cheeks flush. She sa
w that he'd noticed, and was sure that the corner of his mouth creased with an appreciative smile.
When he spoke, his voice was low. "I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed the evening," he said slowly. "The dinner, the chat. Everything."
Nicole lifted a brow. "Everything?" she said teasingly, but she didn't see him smile. He nodded. His expression was intense and serious. He'd come here to tell her something. Maybe he'd been pacing in his own room, thinking exactly the same thoughts with which Nicole had been tormenting herself. By the look of his slightly untidy appearance, he must have been doing a lot of thinking, she told herself.
"I enjoyed the evening, too," she admitted, trying to sound polite.
Rashid smiled. "I'm glad."
He cleared his throat and she knew he was going to tell her something, get what was bothering him off his mind.
"I was thinking about what happened," he said.
"Look," she said interrupting him. "There's nothing to say about that. It's just one of those things."
"Really?" he asked, his brow lifting. He didn't seem convinced.
"It was the moonlight, the desert, the stars," she said trying to sound flippant, even dismissive. Although she knew, inside herself, that she really wanted to tell him something completely different. She wanted to tell him just how much it had meant to her, how he'd made her feel. But, she couldn't do that. Not right now, with him standing at her door with that look on his face.
Rashid frowned. "I wanted to say that if you really need to go home, you know you can."
His words hit her like a physical blow. An icy chill ran up her back. She held onto the door, her grip suddenly tighter.
"Go home?" she gasped. "What do you mean?"
"I'd understand if you needed to leave." He lifted a brow at her. "After what happened tonight."
She gasped, her heart racing suddenly. He was asking her to leave? No. He wasn't asking her to go. Not at all. He was just giving her that option. Surely that was it.
Nicole squinted at Rashid. "You want me to leave, Rashid?"
He looked steadily at her and she could see by the sternness of his expression, the emotion in his eyes, the tightness of his jaw, that he didn't want that. Not for one moment. But, he'd obviously felt some instinctive sense of duty to suggest to her that she go. That she turn her back on him, after the way they'd acted. Their attraction for each other had been revealed and they both knew what it could lead to.
He leaned closer. "I don't want you to leave, Nicole," he murmured, his voice heavy with emotion. "That's the last thing I want."
Nicole drew in a long, deep breath and let it ease out of her, tension draining out with it. He wanted her to stay, she told herself. The chill softened, replaced by something else. Hope? She pushed that thought away. She needed to think clearly. So, how come it was proving almost impossible?
"I just thought you might want to reconsider staying here with me for the next few days," he continued.
"I wasn't thinking of leaving," she said. His eyes brightened slightly as he heard her words. "In fact, I was going to come to speak to you. To hear what you thought," she said softly.
He shook his head. "You don't want to know what I've been thinking since I came upstairs," he said with a wry smile. His gaze settled on her, and she could see the torment in his eyes. He'd been having as hard a time as her, trying to come to terms with what had happened. She could see that now.
Nicole laughed quietly. "Looks like we've gotten ourselves into a whole heap of trouble," she observed.
"Is that what you'd call it?" he asked. "Trouble?"
Nicole shook her head and sighed. "I'm as surprised as you are, Rashid."
He ran a hand through his hair. "Surprise isn't exactly the word I had in mind," he declared.
"What are we going to do?" she asked.
His brows furrowed. "You're not leaving?"
Nicole shook her head. "No. I gave you my word that I'd stay," she stated. "Whatever happened."
She could see he was trying to contain his delight at what she'd said. "Not even after tonight?" he asked.
Nicole shook her head and said nothing.
Rashid leaned closer, and she thought he might try to kiss her, perhaps overwhelmed with a sense of relief. Or perhaps he'd even misunderstood her intentions completely.
Nicole leaned away from him and placed a hand on his chest. The feel of his chest pressing against her hand made her heart quicken. The heat of his body was an urgent reminder of what she was denying to herself.
"I think we need to establish a few ground rules, Rashid," she said quickly. It would be best to get this over as fast as possible, she told herself.
He froze and peered at her. "Rules?"
Nicole nodded. "For both of our sakes."
"What rules?"
"We can't let that happen again," she announced. She saw Rashid's shoulders slump imperceptibly, but he continued to listen to her. "Maybe we should just keep our distance from each other. For a while."
"Distance?" he asked simply.
"Until we get through this," she said nodding.
"You make it sound like an endurance test," he observed.
"You did tell me this whole staying in the palace thing is some kind of trial, didn't you? At least between you and Hakim."
"But that was yesterday," he replied. "Before everything else." His gaze softened. "I know how I felt this evening," he stated evenly. "I know how you felt."
Once again he moved closer to her. His eyes were limpid, dark pools of visible desire, palpable need. There was determination in those eyes, purpose in the firm line of that jaw. His lips were full and moist and tempting. Nicole wanted him to kiss her the way he had earlier; felt a sudden need to reclaim the pleasure which had raced through her.
She felt her pulse quicken, resisted the temptation to lean closer to him, place her hand on his broad chest. This time she knew that if she did that, there might be no turning back.
Nicole leaned away from him. "I know, Rashid. I felt the same," she said, almost immediately regretting the hastiness of her confession.
"You did?" he snapped breathlessly. He was close to her now, and she could almost feel the heat of his body, he was that close.
Nicole smiled softly at him and reached out a hand, resting it on his shoulder. She nodded. "But, I think it would be best if we can keep things friendly between us. Just that," she said.
His brows furrowed. He seemed to consider that for a long time. "Friendly," he said eventually in a flat voice.
Nicole nodded. She knew she was hurting him as much as she was hurting herself. But there was nothing else she could do; nothing else they could do. The alternative would be too much to bear.
The choice was clear.
Separation.
Or submission to the passion which had emerged between them. And that was unthinkable at this moment. She was sure of that. Wasn't she?
"How are we going to do that?" he asked, looking genuinely confused.
"I'm sure we can work it out."
Their eyes met, an unspoken exchange passing between them.
Rashid nodded. "You're right," he said in an even voice. "We'll work it out."
He smiled at her and something seemed to have changed in him. Once again, he'd wrapped himself in the mantle of courtesy and politeness. She could tell he didn't like it, but he was willing to do what she asked.
"Goodnight, Nicole. I'll see you in the morning," he said and turned stiffly away from her. Nicole could sense how hard it had been for him to turn away from her.
Nicole felt her heart sink as she watched Rashid stride down the corridor.
How were they going to get through the next few days? Had she done the right thing in pushing him away? Because that was what she had just done, wasn't it? She had rejected this sheikh who had, hours before, ignited a burning desire in her. This man who had made her feel more alive than she'd ever felt before.
As Nicole closed the door behind her she couldn't
help wondering if she'd done the right thing in refusing the sheikh who was so obviously infatuated with her.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The remaining days of Nicole's stay in his palace passed in much the same way as her first had done. Rashid shared breakfast in the dining room with Nicole every morning, chatting pleasantly, neither of them admitting the truth to one another. That they were pretending nothing existed between them; that their kiss on the terrace had ignited a passion to which neither of them dared admit.
Every day, in the mornings and afternoons Rashid kept his promise to Nicole. He gave her space, left her alone, despite the fact that all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and tell her that he couldn't get her out of his thoughts. He wanted to confess to her that every night was a torment, knowing that she was a short distance away from him, yet completely and utterly out of reach.
But still he kept his word.
In the afternoons they spent some time together, usually with one or two of the staff in close proximity. Rashid and Nicole spent some of this time getting to know even more about each other, sharing childhood stories, how they'd both lived their lives in recent years.
The more Rashid got to know her, the more he felt as if she'd been delivered to him by fate, by destiny. She was the most incredible woman he'd ever met, and she was totally beyond his reach.
Having her in his palace in such circumstances was sheer torture. Rashid racked his brains for ways to overcome this barrier he'd inadvertently built inside the walls of his home. Never once did he even consider calling a halt to their agreement, by asking her to leave. He would never place Nicole in danger. He even went so far as to persuade her not to take a trip to the nearby town to get some new clothes for herself. Instead, he arranged for Raina to go and buy some simple outfits for Nicole.
When Raina had returned, Rashid had made sure he was present to witness Nicole's reaction to Raina's purchases. Nicole had been delighted by the three dresses which Raina had obtained. When Nicole had insisted on trying the blue dress, Rashid had made sure she knew just how beautiful Nicole looked, showering her with compliments. Of course, she'd waved the praise aside with a dismissive comment, but Rashid could tell she'd been secretly pleased at what he'd said.
