by Ann, Pamela
My blood boiled again as I pictured him plowing through some willing beautiful body.
“Let me go.”
His fingers dug into my skin, gripping it harder. “I need you to promise me that you won’t go after any of my family.”
Maybe the storm in his eyes—midnight, silver and gold amidst the black—made me nod, conceding to his request, but I wasn’t sure. Because, even though I was mesmerized, I thought my heart couldn’t take being this close to him much longer. Consequently, I’d do what must be done to get away from him as far as I could imagine.
“Say it,” he demanded harshly, nearing his face to mine.
The intensity of his eyes, the anger, the disgust on his face left me to shame as I dropped my eyes to his chest. And right there on his collar, another tinge of the same colored lipstick stained his impeccable white dress shirt. Dear God, I couldn’t… I couldn’t stand any of this any longer.
“I promise,” I made an audible whisper. “I won’t.”
I counted to bide my time until he released me from his grip, but after ten counts, he still had his hand on me, gripping me in a steel-like vice.
“How can I trust your word?”
His distrust was crushing, but I had to toughen up my resolve so I could run to my closet and get necessities before I checked myself into a hotel or go over to my best friend’s house in Hampstead.
Meeting his stormy eyes once more, I willed myself to be stronger for a little bit longer. I could collapse later, but at this instant, I needed strength. “Trust it… because you’ll find me in Kyle’s house.”
We fought with our eyes for a second before I felt him loosening his hold off my arm. Again, the old Blake would’ve lost his mind with jealousy, but this one was letting me go.
I had no words to describe the gutting turmoil my heart was processing at this sign. Blake Knightly had definitely left me before I even knew it.
“You won’t get your divorce until you give me a baby. My baby, so if you intended to fuck Matthews, best you wait until you’ve given birth to my child. You also need to dispose of your pills.”
He was being so mechanical. I hated him and yearned for him all at the same time.
“Is that all?”
“I’ll come to your bed in two weeks’ time and every night for a week. I hope that’ll be enough time. Hopefully, by this course, the first draft of our divorce will be ready.”
“What if by the end of that week I don’t conceive?”
“Then I won’t let you out of the bed until you are pregnant with my child.”
Who would have thought a week ago I’d be his breeding cow? Life was ironic. Just as I was about to move, he pulled me back again.
“When did you have your last menstrual cycle?”
Was he fucking kidding me? “The other day, it went on for five days, in case you’re wondering about that as well.” I was being snarky, but he was begging for it.
“So you’re not back on the pill yet then?” he inquired, as if the question was as simple as asking what the weather was.
I shook my head. I would get back on it supposedly the day after tomorrow. However, since he was planning on making me a brood mare before I could get my divorce, I had to throw all those tiny white pills away.
Something crossed his face as he looked at me in such a way that left me cold and unwanted. “Get to bed, naked. I’ll come for you tonight.”
The thought of him touching me made me a little desperate. “When, what time?”
“I need some time to myself before I fuck you,” he said in a matter-of-fact voice. There was something about it that made me a little crazy.
“You make it sound like you can’t get hard enough to fuck me, Blake.”
“Maybe I can’t.”
Aw, hell to the mother fucking no. Did he just…? He did, didn’t he? And since we were already here, why not just get on with it? Disrobing, I let it fall to my feet. I felt no shame in my nakedness because the usual hunger his eyes bore was absent.
“Do it. Let’s get this over with right here.” I brazenly reached out to touch his cock, and just as predicted, he wasn’t hard, but his half-mast state should suffice.
His cock had graced someone else’s body…
Taking charge, I unzipped him before letting his pants fall and freed his cock from his boxers. All the while, he stood motionless, looking at me like I was some sort of specimen, but I was over it.
“How do you want me?”
“You seem to know what you’re doing, so go ahead. Keep going.”
Bastard to the tenth order.
Fuming, I slightly pushed him to sit on the step before I straddled him. He might not be all the way hard, but his dick was big enough to make me orgasm without being its full potential. It was insulting that he wasn’t aroused because I was the total opposite, never had I been this wet for him.
Gripping the base of his cock, I gradually lowered myself to meet his length before I felt it break into my opening, stretching me slowly as I adjusted to his size, feeling the heavy weight of his stare. Beyond emotional, I closed my eyes and focused on the heaven my body was going through.
Biting the bottom of my lip, I slid up before I pushed down again, wetting his shaft with my essence further with each move. When I couldn’t take any more of him, I felt his cock twitch, engorged, finally having risen to full function.
I wanted to moan. I wanted to kiss him. And God, how I missed seeing the love shining through those eyes. However, I knew the moment I opened my eyes I would find none of those in his empty depths. Therefore, I kept them shut. But in my mind, the old Blake was alive and thriving, like the last time I rode him in this position.
“Open your eyes. Look me in the eye and fuck me like you mean it. I know you want to.”
His words snapped me out of my dream, and when I did open my eyes, the void I saw in his made me feel ill.
“I can’t do this.” I tried to get off him, but his hands took hold of my hips and pulled me firmly onto his cock. “I can’t—” A loud moan escaped me as my pussy rejoiced from pleasure.
“Ride it until you’ve emptied my cock. To the very last drop. That’s the only way I’m letting you get off it.” He was really being vicious.
“But that could mean a few more times.” He was insatiable; one session wasn’t ever enough for him.
“Best you get on with it so we can be rid of each other.”
The Point of No Return
Blake
She rode me three times in a row, one succession after the other, screaming and moaning as she had multiple orgasms around me. Sweat broke around her brows as she panted heavily, eyes dazed and heavy as she tried to breathe.
“Caro… I’m tired.”
Caro. One word, and yet, it tugged at my heartstrings. I had been feeling quite shitty for the past few days, and I’d thought that it would be better to give her some space because I, too, needed it. Tonight, I had actually planned to come home and ask if we could talk about us and where we go from there. I had also meant to ask for her forgiveness because I had been wrong to even ask it of her, knowing well that I’d made a promise. However, she had gone beyond temperamental and mentioned divorce.
Thus, when I hung up the phone, I scouted the bar for a woman with the brightest lipstick on and paid her a hundred quid to leave lipstick marks on me. I wanted to drive Sienna insane with jealousy, yet the woman had gone far and beyond.
Divorce for a baby.
I had never in my life felt such trepidation for my own sanity. Sienna’s harsh, accusing words about other women I could tolerate, but what I couldn’t fathom was how she had thrown around the word divorce as if it wasn’t of consequence. I, for one, never dreamt of the day it would even be considered between us. My wife, however, seemed to have thought of it, or it wouldn’t have come out of her Godforsaken mouth in the first place.
I wanted to be cruel, therefore I had told her I wouldn’t dare divorce her even if she killed me for it.
Then, when she sounded unfazed by it all, I had dug it a little deeper, where I knew it would frazzle her. That was all it had been, merely words to me. I hadn’t thought I’d truly go through with it until I came home and she threatened to sleep with my cousin.
That was truly gutting to hear her say. Kyle? Well, that was already a given. I knew she’d run to him even before she said it. But Clive? Never. Besides, it wasn’t as if Clive could resist Sienna because, once she put her mind to seduction, she would be lethal to anyone’s libido.
I wanted to hate Sienna. I truly did, but my heart wouldn’t let me.
I cared, yet I somehow had shut off my emotions in fear that I’d become the bloody idiotic fool I was for her. I always was where she was concerned. Conversely, maybe there was a major part of me that had wanted to see her chase me, to prove she loved me the way I did her. Yet, as the days had gone on, with no effort coming from her, I had somehow given up on hoping she would at least meet me halfway. I had married her because I’d thought I had found what my father had found with my mother—unconditional love, devotion, and loyalty.
It was hard to admit it but I think I might’ve been mistaken on believing that.
We’d just had sex triple times without any form of protection, including her birth control. I had wanted a baby with her before, but the thought of conceiving it when she wanted a divorce… That would be challenging. I could fight her to stay, but then again, it would only be temporary because, either way, if she wanted to be free, she was going to find a way to do it.
“Take me to bed,” she whispered before collapsing on my chest, her hand loosely on my neck as I fought the urge to kiss her.
Taking a few steady breaths, I held her against my body as I lifted us both from the steps and paved our way towards our bedroom. Once in there, I strode to the vast bed, depositing her right in the middle, swarmed with shams and pillows.
I stared at her spent form as I felt the immediate rush of excitement towards my groin. Even in dire circumstances, I would always be hungry for her.
“Stay…” she murmured before she slowly lifted her eyes open then reached for my hand to tug me closer. “I was only taking a break. Give me half an hour, and I should be good as new.”
No more sex, I thought without hesitation. We couldn’t solve everything with sex. But I would stay, just for tonight.
Joining her in our marital bed, my head had barely hit the pillows when she crawled towards me and placed her head on my chest before releasing a big sigh.
“I was pregnant last year…” she murmured, momentarily making me freeze as I realized what she’d just uttered.
Huh? Was she dreaming? “When?” I asked skeptically.
She took a deep breath. “Right after the attack… a week before we left for Rome. I didn’t even have a clue until the nurse told me I was losing the baby.”
Christ, this was even before we had gotten married.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I wasn’t angry; no, far from it. I suddenly mourned the loss of our child as I pictured Sienna walking down the aisle on our wedding day.
“You were recovering from your wound…” she sniffed. “And losing it made me feel like a failure. I was terrified you’d leave me because I wasn’t doing a great job of being a mother.”
“But you had no idea you were pregnant then—”
She hesitantly sat, wiping her tears away. “I didn’t, yet I couldn’t help feeling like I had let you and the baby down. There was so much going on then that trying to forget about what occurred to me seemed pretty easy. But each time you mentioned the word baby, I couldn’t help cringing because I’m horrible at being a mom, and I didn’t want you to see that.” She pauses. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…”
“So am I,” I said wretchedly. Had I known about it, I wouldn’t have pressured her the way I had in the first place.
But we were still stuck in this predicament. Even with this revelation, I doubted it could make any difference at all.
The Ghost of You
Sienna
My best kept secret was a secret no longer.
“Where does this leave us?” The thought of not having him in my life drove a sword into my soul. How idiotic was I to provoke him when I felt too much of everything at once? I was too insecure, too jealous, too in love, too emotional—too much of everything I could think of. I was this and that and then some. The heaviness of my regret seemed to suffocate me as I waited for his response. And when he did, I felt so alone.
“Same as where we were an hour ago. Nothing’s changed, Sienna. There are some things that are too hurtful to even take back.”
“I know… I know that now.” I begged with everything I had, “I’m immature, I get that, but please, just don’t give up on me yet. I didn’t mean it—the divorce—I’m sorry.” I didn’t even bother with the tears because I was past it. I was hysterically upset as everything started to take root in my heart. “I love you, and if you don’t believe it, I’ll gladly prove it by having your child. Please just give me another chance.” Nothing mattered anymore. Without Blake, I’d be lost again, wondering what my purpose was in all of this. With him, I felt like I could accomplish anything. He was the power behind my will. His undying belief that I could do anything made me feel and believe it. “Don’t leave me…” I’d lose my other half. I’d lose half of my soul. How the fuck did I function if I had only half of my heart? Half of everything I was? I just couldn’t. I just fucking couldn’t.
“You don’t want a baby, Sienna, so please don’t insult my intelligence by saying you’d willingly change your mind because you felt responsible for lighting the fire.” He gazed at me with sadness, but it was obvious his mind was already set.
I hadn’t realized how much I wanted a baby until tonight, until I finally knew I was losing him.
I wrapped my arms around my stomach as I tried to get a hold of myself, totally failing. “One more chance.”
“Sienna—”
“You owe me that at least. One more, and if you remain unhappy, I’d willingly let you go myself.”
He looked away, thinking, and then… “Why do you do this?” he grounded out, impatient. “Do you enjoy the misery? Do you miss it when it’s gone? Because, from where I’m standing, it’s quite certain that you seek all types of turmoil and upheaval. I’m getting too old for these types of shenanigans, Sienna. I’m at the point in my life where I want a sensible wife, children. I want a bloody family! It was all I wanted from you, and yet, you kept pushing me off as if my dreams were about to ruin you.”
“I’m sorry…”
He shook his head. “Sorry isn’t enough for the damage you’ve caused. Sometimes, sorry is just an excuse for someone to repeat their mistakes. You don’t know how to love without stipulations. I cannot keep conditioning myself to fit into your lifestyle. It’s enough.” His words had finality in them, and I knew with every fiber in me that it was close to impossible to change his mind. It was better to leave it alone than keep grating him about the subject.
“Okay, I guess this is it then.”
He kept his eyes on me, but I couldn’t bare looking at him for a full minute without feeling like my insides were being ripped apart by his own hands.
“When do you want me to move out?” I asked in between tears as I slid off the bed and went inside my walk-in closet. I needed a robe to cover my body because I felt ashamed for all the things I had done tonight. I deserved this, therefore I might as well not deny how wrong I had been.
Taking out a black robe, I haphazardly tied it around me just as I walked out of the closet. Blake remained in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling before he lowered his eyes down to look at me.
“Tell me what you want… I’d gladly give it to you,” he said. Before I had the chance to reply, he continued, “I’m giving you this house and whatever property you want that’s mine. You can also take half of my money if that makes you happy. You can have a jet, a stake at the company, and whatever business en
deavors I have accumulated during the span of our short marriage.”
I wanted to cry because he truly believed I would take him to the cleaners. This was what we had come to. It was sad and pathetic.
“I don’t want any of that. Just give me the papers to sign, and I’ll do it as long as you do don’t give me a single pence.”
My light-hearted intentions of wanting to talk went out the window. There was no point anymore. I had realized that the second he opened his mouth, yapping garbage out of it.
Striding back into the closet, I pulled out a medium-sized weekend bag and shoved everything I needed in it to get away somewhere.
Where is my passport? I looked around and finally found it in the bottom drawer.
“Don’t you think it’s too late to be heading somewhere?” His voice came up behind me, but I didn’t have the energy to look at him.
“Just stop. Let’s not do this. Don’t pretend you care where I go or what I’ll do. Just stop.”
“Stay in the house; it’s yours anyway. I’ll go and leave you be.”
He was being so infuriating, acting nonchalant and being stupidly magnanimous about everything. His indifference made me chuck my sunglasses case towards him before he caught it with one hand.
Before I knew it, I was throwing everything I could find at him; a pen, my purse, a wallet, my make-up kit. You name it, I threw at him.
“Sienna! Stop acting like a goddamn child!” he yelled at me.
“Fuck you.” I didn’t care anymore.
My engagement ring along with my wedding band caught my eye before my vision blurred as I reached out to them.
“Here are your lies, Blake. Till death do we part, asshole.” I threw them over his head, hitting the mirrors, while he stared at me in horror. “There. Now, we’re really over.”
“Have you lost your—”
“My mind?” I shrilled at him. “Yes, I’ve fucking lost it! I hate you!” I grunted at him, and when he didn’t say another damn word, my insanity worsened. “I fucking hate—” I was about to shove him out of the way when he clasped both of his hands on my shoulders and roughly shoved me against the wall. “I hate you. I hate you!”
