He found a spot near the hotel and hurried inside to let her know how he felt about her unwanted presence. Instead of a table, he sat at the bar and ordered coffee. Within minutes she’d joined him.
“It’s clear I shouldn’t have come to your work.”
Cole turned to her. “You shouldn’t have come to Whitebark. The last time we were together I told you I wasn’t in love with you. I had fun jamming and recording with you, but it never turned into love. I realize those weren’t the words you wanted to hear. Now I’ve come home to my life and am asking you to go back to yours.”
The bartender brought him coffee and took her order for a beer. While she drank some, she flashed him a glance. “I didn’t know there was this side to you. I think you really mean it.”
“You know I do.”
“You’re so angry, I take it your girlfriend hasn’t forgiven you and doesn’t want you back. That’s what I came to find out. I think I have my answer. Things really aren’t going as smoothly as you’d hoped. What do you know...”
He’d had all he could take.
“Patsy—I’m in love with her and I don’t want to hurt you. You’ve got a great career going. We’ll always be friends, but you’re wasting your time coming here.”
“But we made a good team, Cole. This woman you love obviously doesn’t want you back. Doesn’t it mean anything to you that I want to be the new woman in your life and love you?”
He drew in a breath. “I’m flattered, but it wasn’t love for me even though we had fun making music together.”
“Wow. She really did a number on you.”
“I’ve been in love with her forever. Goodbye, Patsy.”
Cole left the hotel. Before he went back to the ranch, he drove straight to Tamsin’s apartment. Her Toyota was in her parking space. He hoped that meant she was home. He needed to see her before she heard from someone else that Patsy had been in town. Some of the guys at the station had seen them together and word got around fast. Too fast.
After pulling up in front of the complex, he got out of his truck and raced up the stairs to her apartment. Without knowing her cell phone number, he had no other choice but to go there.
He knocked on her door and waited. When she didn’t respond, he knocked a little harder. He knew for a fact that she wasn’t with Dean right now, but she could have been with him earlier. After the fire that had broken out tonight, Cole could count on Witcom driving over there any minute to tell her he’d come face-to-face with Cole and how he felt about it. But more important, he needed to warn her that the arsonists were so serious they’d targeted Dean.
In case she was nervous to say or do anything this late at night, he called to her. “Tamsin? It’s Cole. I know it’s late but I have something vital to tell you. If I’d had your number, I would have phoned you first. Tamsin? Can you hear me?”
Seconds later she opened the door looking beautiful and anxious. She’d dressed in jeans and a T-shirt that hugged her curves. “What’s wrong? Was there another fire?”
“Yes, but not at your family’s ranch.”
She put a hand to her mouth in obvious relief. “Come in.”
He walked past her, hearing noise from the TV in the background, and waited until she’d shut the door. “Tonight a lodgepole pine next to Dean Witcom’s house caught on fire and the flames burned his attic.”
A small gasp escaped her lips. “Was he hurt?”
“No. He didn’t come home until our crew had put it out and was ready to leave. Chief Powell called a meeting at the station afterward that included Witcom. It’s too early in the year for the tree to be dry enough to burst into flame without help. Since there was no lightning tonight, the only way to explain the fire is arson.”
A troubled expression broke out on her face.
“We have no proof yet, but are thinking there could be a connection to your father’s barn fire since you’re his daughter and are involved with Dean. The chief asked for opinions and I had to tell him what I was thinking. But I don’t think your boyfriend was too happy about it coming from me of all people.”
She sank down on the couch. “So you really believe he was targeted too because I’m Howard Rayburn’s daughter?”
“It’s a strong possibility. I just wanted you to know so you can tell Witcom to be careful. I don’t think he would have liked that advice from me. Have you talked to your father yet?”
“Yes. He’s doing everything possible to stay on alert.”
“That’s good.” He shifted his weight. “One more thing before I go. Patsy Janis was waiting for me at the back of the station after tonight’s fire. I never thought I’d see her again.”
Those blue eyes trapped his. “Why not? You said she wanted to get married.”
His jaw hardened. “But I told you I didn’t feel that way about her. The truth is marriage takes two willing people who love each other. I told her I’d meet her in the bar at the hotel where she’s been staying. A couple of the guys at the station saw her with me. I figured it was only a matter of time before you heard gossip about it.
“We had our little talk at the bar. After I told her I was never in love with her and this had to be goodbye, I walked out without looking back. If she ever comes near me again, she won’t be welcome.”
Tamsin jumped to her feet. “Why would you think I wouldn’t believe you?”
“Because of all the fake news in the magazines and newspapers being printed,” he broke in on her. “The truth is, I’m not and never have been involved with Patsy intimately no matter how much she wanted to get married,” he informed her. “Ours was a professional relationship. Period.”
He headed for the door.
“Wait—”
Cole looked over his shoulder.
“Don’t leave yet.”
“I’d rather not be here when Witcom shows up. I’m surprised he hasn’t come yet.” He opened the door.
“If he were going to come over, he’d phone me. I—I need to tell you something first,” she stammered.
He stood there with the door still ajar. “What is it?”
She rubbed her hands over womanly hips in a nervous gesture. “For what it’s worth, I haven’t told Dean I’ll marry him.”
The blood pounded in Cole’s ears. “Are you saying you’re not in love with him?”
Tamsin averted her eyes. “I’m saying that I haven’t told him I’ll marry him yet. He wants to get engaged, but I’m still trying to sort out my feelings.”
That was the best news he’d heard since he’d left Whitebark years ago.
“If nothing’s set in stone, does that mean you’d be willing to spend some time with me?” His heart thudded while he waited for her answer.
“I don’t know if it would be wise.”
“Why? I’m home for good. Are you planning to leave the state?”
She threw her head back so he could see her eyes. “I have no idea where my career might take me.”
Encouraged by those words he said, “Until you do know, how would you like to go to the Arapahoe Pioneer Days Rodeo in Lander with me coming up in a week? Or do you have plans with Witcom for the Fourth of July?”
It appeared his question had caught her off guard. “We haven’t talked about it yet,” she muttered.
“I’m leaving in the morning to head back to the mountains for my work and will probably be gone for five or six days this time. If you decide you’d like to go to Lander with me, drop by the ranch and tell Louise. She’ll let me know after I’m back.
“I was thinking we’d drive there on the fourth and spend it camping overnight in the Setons’ backyard. Their daughter, Doris, and son-in-law, Tyler, have invited me. We’d be sleeping in a tent in our sleeping bags. Sam and Louise’s fifteen-year-old grandson Jake Sky Tree is riding in the relay. They exchange horses after each lap. It’s pretty
exciting. Then he’s competing in the rodeo and there’ll be fireworks afterward. We would drive home the next day.
“If there’s no message from you when I get back, then I’ll have my answer. Good night, Tamsin. Please be careful and lock your door after I leave.”
* * *
WHAT WAS IT Sally had told Tamsin?
The next time he wants to be with you, don’t hold back.
What do you mean, next time?
There’ll be one. But this time, be open and honest with him about Dean, the way you wished he’d been with you nine years ago about his real reason for leaving. If the two of you are meant to be together forever, then you need to find your way back to each other. Honesty is the first step.
Sally had predicted that Cole would approach her again and she’d been right. Tamsin couldn’t lie to herself. His invitation had thrilled her to death. But the fear of getting involved with him again scared her out of her mind.
After the years of emptiness while she’d fought her memories, to start that whole thing all over again would be a form of insanity. Of course no one knew what the future held. She wasn’t asking for a guarantee, but to spend time again with Cole meant she had to be some kind of fool and hadn’t learned that she couldn’t go back to their senior year of high school when they’d been crazy in love. It wasn’t possible to know that kind of happiness a second time.
By the time she’d turned off the TV and had gone to bed, she was glad Cole had given her time to think about his invitation instead of wanting an answer right away. But before she fell asleep, she knew she wouldn’t be going by his ranch. She also knew something else. She didn’t love Dean the way he needed to be loved. It truly was over with him.
Maybe a man would eventually come into her life, one who would set her on fire in a brand-new way. Until that day came, she would go ahead with her plan to build her own CPA business.
Thank goodness she’d moved out of the ranch house. Soon her sister would have the baby and they’d move to their own place. After that there’d be little chance of running into Dean when Tamsin went home to see her folks.
With a plan in mind, she left for the office on Friday morning, eager to talk to Heather before she left for Whitebark Hospital to start their audit. Her friend arrived after Tamsin did. She rushed over to her.
“I’m glad I caught you before I had to leave. What are your plans for tomorrow?”
“Nothing special, but I have a date with Silas Ellsworth to go to dinner and a movie.”
Tamsin remembered him from high school. “You’ve been seeing a lot of him lately. Sounds like it could be something serious.”
“Maybe.” Her friend smiled.
“How would you like to drive to Riverton with me for the day? We’ll be back in time for you to meet up with Silas. I want to check out possibilities for some new clients.”
“You mean for yourself?” she whispered.
Tamsin nodded. “It wouldn’t hurt to try to pick up business, even if it means a move. I don’t want to work for someone else forever.”
Heather frowned. “But I thought that you and Dean...well, you know...”
“I’m afraid that’s over, but I’ll tell you about it when I have more time. Give me a call later if you want to go with me.”
“I will, I promise.”
Tamsin grabbed her briefcase and left for the hospital. But no matter what else she had on her mind, she couldn’t stop her glance from straying toward the mountains. They were Cole’s world when he wasn’t ranching or fighting fires. He was probably halfway up to the area where he’d be searching for elk over the next week.
His ability to be on his own in nature was remarkable to her. He’d always been a fearless cowboy. Now he was up in the remote wilderness of the Winds facing dangers and loving every minute of it.
That ache in her heart would always be there because he was a man who didn’t need a woman. He’d proven it over the last nine years. Tamsin wished with every atom in her body that she were a woman who could exist without a man and be happy. If it was possible, she intended to find out.
By midafternoon her cell phone rang. She presumed it was Heather, but when she checked the caller ID, it was her mother. She clicked on.
“Hi, Mom.”
“I’m glad you picked up. Guess what? Your sister is in labor and Lyle has driven her to the hospital. Your father and I will be driving there as soon as he comes in.”
This was the best news Tamsin could have received. “She’s been so good obeying doctor’s orders, but it’s past time her ordeal was over.”
“I agree. Where are you?”
“Would you believe I’m at the hospital doing an audit?”
“What a lucky coincidence!”
“I know. I’ll finish up here and go to the maternity floor.”
“We’ll see you there soon, darling.”
As soon as they hung up, Tamsin called Heather to tell her about Sally. “I’m going to have to change my plans about driving to Riverton tomorrow. Will you go with me next Saturday?”
“I can’t go then. Our family has plans that weekend and I’ve invited Silas. Let’s do it in two weeks.”
“That will be perfect. Talk to you soon,” she said.
“Let me know all the fun news about the baby.”
“I want to hear about Silas, too.”
“Of course.”
They hung up.
The audit would take several more days. Since Tamsin couldn’t concentrate on debits and expenditures right now, she planned to pick up where she’d left off when she went back to work on Monday. Now that the files were downloaded on her laptop, she packed it in her briefcase and walked through the hall to the bank of elevators.
On her way down to the maternity ward on the third floor, she realized she’d be seeing Dean at some point and wasn’t looking forward to it. But it was something she would have to deal with now and in the years to come when there was a reason for both families to be together.
Still, her heart sank when she ran into him as she came out of the elevator. He took one look at her and pulled her aside. “I need to talk to you before we go in to see Sally and Lyle.”
Because Cole had come over last night, she knew what Dean was going to tell her about. “Let’s go into the waiting room.”
They followed the signs that led them around the corner. Several groups of people were sitting in the room on the chairs and getting drinks out of the vending machines.
Dean found them a couple of chairs and they sat down. “Last night someone set fire to my property. The fire department believes it was the same arsonist who set fire to your father’s barn.”
She nodded. “I heard.”
“After the meeting at the fire station, it didn’t take Cole Hawkins long to inform you, did it?” he said in a wintry tone. “I saw a truck outside your apartment and figured it was his.”
So he had come by without phoning her. When she ignored his comment, his lips tightened. “Lyle said Sally doesn’t know about it, and we don’t want her to know.”
“I agree she doesn’t need to be worried about anything but having their baby.”
He got up so fast it surprised her.
“Wait—” She caught hold of his arm. “I’m so sorry for what happened to you, Dean. I heard the damage was confined to the attic, not the whole house, thank Heaven, but it’s still awful. What a shock that must have been!”
“The bigger shock was coming face-to-face with the guy I hate.” In a pain-filled voice he said, “Excuse me. My brother needs me right now.”
Without giving her a chance to say more, he walked away. She stood up and followed him down the hall to the nursing station where they were given directions to the labor room.
When they walked in, a worried yet excited Lyle reached for his brother. Tamsin hurr
ied over to the hospital bed. “Sally—” Her sister looked drained and exhausted. “I can’t believe it. When did the pains start?”
“Last night. But the doctor says the baby won’t be born before evening.”
“That long? Oh, you poor thing.”
“You have no idea.” She rolled her eyes in that way of hers.
“Mom and Dad will be here soon.”
“I know. Did you come with Dean?” she mouthed the words.
“No.”
Sally closed her eyes. Another contraction had taken over her body.
“You’re the bravest woman I know.”
Her sister let out a groan.
A few minutes later two sets of parents came into the labor room. Tamsin hugged her parents and left the room before she had to face Dean’s parents. She’d only met them once. If they knew what had happened between her and Dean, then they wouldn’t be thrilled to have to talk to her until it was absolutely necessary.
Tamsin headed for the waiting room with her briefcase. She would sit out there for the next few hours. Until her little niece was born, she could work on the audit from her laptop. But after a few minutes, she couldn’t concentrate. It upset her that all she could think about was what it would be like to be married to Cole and have their baby.
“Tamsin?” She lifted her head, surprised to see Dean standing there. “I’m leaving. I’ll come back when the baby’s born. You can go in and be with your family now.”
“Dean—” she called after him, filled with guilt because she’d hurt him, but he’d disappeared too fast. If she’d gone after him, what would there have been to say? Nothing that would make him feel better. She didn’t love him enough to marry him and he knew it.
* * *
WEDNESDAY NIGHT OF the following week, Cole returned from the mountains in a rainstorm and headed straight for the shower after taking care of his horses. He was glad to be out of it. When he walked into the kitchen later to make a peanut butter sandwich, he found Louise and Sam enjoying a cup of coffee.
“I thought you two would be taking off for Lander today.”
The Right Cowboy Page 8
