“Yes?” She popped open her eyes.
His face hovered inches from hers, his gaze fixed on her lips. “I’d like to kiss you. May I?”
So respectful, so sweet. Shutting her eyes again, she nodded then tilted her head to the side a bit. Heart thumping heavy in her chest, she waited for him to ravage her mouth.
Nothing happened—no touch on her lips, no closeness, only a coldness.
“Hurry, will you?” She begged him, taken aback by her desperation.
Nothing.
Confused, she opened her eyes again. He remained near her, waiting, torturing her.
With rough hands, she pulled him to her, pressing her lips to his. She flung herself down on the bed so his body flopped on top of hers. Papers crinkled beneath her, pricking her bare back as her blouse hitched up. Every inch of her burned with desire. He tried to pull himself free from her, but she held him tight, as though she possessed superhuman strength. Need scrambled inside her like a caged animal.
Whoa! A few hours ago, she’d wanted him out of her life for good. All those years she’d dreamed of fiery sex while reading and watching romances, she’d never realized how much she’d want it for herself. It had been her dream to write of it, not to experience it.
“Joanie.” He pulled away, breathless. “I don’t think—”
“Shut up.” She smothered him with her mouth again. That way, she could stop the questioning thoughts and let the sensation of Theo take over her mind. Later, she would consider the consequences.
He submitted, allowing her to tease his tongue. His breath turned frantic, and she upped the play to frenetic. His erection rubbed her aching pelvis, igniting a fire within her. Breaking from the kiss, still trembling, she undid his buttons and removed his shirt. At last, she could run her fingers down the line of neat blond hairs leading toward his perfectly round belly button. Oh, how good to touch him and breathe in his scent. He still smelled of island, coconut, and sunshine.
“Joanie,” he croaked out.
She couldn’t meet his gaze. Eye contact would show him the intensity of the feelings she shouldn’t be experiencing.
Lust to feel and experience him spurred her on. She pushed him down onto his back. “Lie still. Don’t move.”
Boldness overcame her. The need inside stirred a raw desire to possess him, despite his caution. She’d never had the opportunity to find this part of herself. It was as if Theo brought out a raging fire, a raw, primal flame.
She chanced a glance, unable to resist the draw to link gazes. Need echoed in his expression then he closed his eyes, almost pained. Could he want more, too? The thought egged her on.
Tearing herself from the beauty of his vulnerable expression, she trailed her tongue along the path of hairs and plunged the tip into his navel.
He groaned, the sound sending her pussy into a spasm.
She approached the band of his trousers. Stupid pants. She yanked on them to pull them down.
He set his palm on her cheek. “Not yet.”
She lifted her gaze. “Don’t you want me?”
“Of course I do. Haven’t wanted anyone as much before, but I don’t want you to regret this.”
“Why would I regret it?” She trembled, unable to resist any longer. She needed him. Had to have him. Maybe her mind craved that feeling of triumph—to attain his all, his recklessness, when he’d fought to hold back.
He propped himself on his elbows. “I just have a feeling you will think I set you up.”
She shook her head. “I’m doing it. I’m making it happen.”
Did he think she wanted to get something out of him? That she was using him sexually to get help with her book? Oh, please no. Her need was physical.
“Make it happen, baby.” He didn’t think that, then. He lay down and closed his eyes. “But not all the way yet.”
“Grrrhh! You’re so frustrating.”
“And you’re a tiger.”
Good thing his eyes were closed because her face flushed hot. What had gotten into her? Maybe the stress of the last few days…. Could the magic have changed who she was, on a sexual level?
She tentatively touched one of his nipples.
He hissed. “Don’t stop.”
She’d always wanted to do that to a man. She loved the effect it had on him.
She twisted the small bulb between her fingers, surprised at how aroused she became from that small action. He wasn’t doing a single thing to her, and yet she squirmed.
She continued to stimulate him, licking his nipples and enjoying the pleasure visible on his face.
Grabbing her, he smothered her face with wet kisses. “Joanie, you’re amazing. I don’t want to push too far. You are my wife, on paper, but I still haven’t seen you naked.”
Was that a summons to strip down? Whether he’d offered a definite invitation or not, she wanted to give herself to him right then. She needed to feel his heated gaze flow over her naked form.
Rising from the bed, she removed her blouse, bra, and jeans while he looked on with awe. The trembling took over again as his lust spurred on the desire to please him.
“Come here, tiger.” His voice came out as a growl, and the fire in his eyes ignited a no-return decision.
She crawled onto the bed. On her hands and knees, she crouched above him. He stared at her as if frozen.
“What?”
“I’m savoring the moment.”
Unable to take the intensity of his adoring gaze any longer, she lay on her back next to him. She was moving too fast, way too soon but dare not stop.
“You’re perfect,” he told her.
Oh, no. Could he be falling for her? She just wanted sex, no love. Not with a man who would stay—with someone who’d rob her freedom and peace.
He lifted on his elbow and caressed her with his lustful gaze. Okay, so maybe he wanted her body.
“Touch me, then,” she said.
Lying on his side beside her, he played with her hair, the slight contact tickling her, sending goose bumps racing over her skin. The guy was too cautious. So much for Theo being the impulsive, buy-a-sports-car-without-planning type. She resisted rising to straddle him. No, she didn’t know what to do. Even after reading so many sex scenes, even writing some, the act was very different in real life. He had to lead the way, or at least help her. A man like him, so much sex appeal, must know more than her. He must have had many women before.
Her nipples tingled with longing. If only he’d touch her there. Didn’t he want to fondle what was ready for the taking? “Play with my breasts.”
He smiled.
At last, she understood. He wanted her to call the shots. The realization brought the greatest thrill of her life—a thrill fuelled by fear.
He trailed his finger in a circle around the outer breast, stopping for a minute to fondle her underarm.
She giggled yet remained still. The longing for full-on nipple stimulation reached the heights of a roaring inferno.
“Touch the nipples, will you?” Although bossy in words, her shaky voice betrayed her fear. What if he despised her and stopped altogether?
His smug expression told her his responses were a tease to draw out her lust. “Not yet.”
“Please.”
Sitting up to tower over her, he circled her breast with fiery fingertips, moving closer and closer to the center. When he tugged the nipple between thumb and finger, she lifted her pelvis and shouted. She’d stimulated herself before but had never experienced the feel of a man’s hands on her body. The difference was like a crumb of bread opposed to a Christmas Day feast.
He traced around her other areola, and her body responded and quivered with pleasure. She had to have Theo all the way. He played with both nipples while she squirmed and groaned, wondering if she would reach climax any minute. Much to her frustration, he pulled away. Her eyes popped open, and before she could complain, he pressed his palm to her panties, by the crotch, rubbing roughly.
“Softer.” She moaned
, liking his movement, but the seam of her thong added too much friction. Time to remove the last barrier between them. Would he like her pussy? She didn’t have a Brazilian, neither did she go totally bare. She could be classified a plain Jane. Of course, she hadn’t planned on having sex for the next five years.
She pulled off her panties in a swift movement and averted her gaze. He pressed his finger onto her clit and caressed in sensuous circular movements. When he licked her tit, a gush of liquid came out of her pussy onto the bed. She gasped. He engulfed her nipple and areola in his mouth and sucked. His finger then thrust inside her.
She jolted. “Ow.”
Shock flickered across his gaze. “Joanie…I don’t want to hurt you.”
She shook her head. He didn’t need to know all she’d ever used was a dildo a couple of times—easing it inside and using caution. Her hurried hands in pants and up shirts in college could not classify as true exploration. Argh, if only she’d taken a bit more time for herself.
“I know you’re not ready. I care too much. I’ll give you everything. Not yet, though.”
He turned away, not without licking the finger that had been in her pussy.
How dare he do this? All of a sudden, she felt naked before him—bare, not only in the physical sense, but as a woman, as a sexual being.
Disappointment flooded her while her pussy throbbed, aching for more. He hadn’t gotten anything out of it. It had all been for her.
She closed her eyes to block him out, her body cooling down fast. Embarrassed, she rose and dressed.
He grabbed her planning papers without flinching, as though an intimate sharing between two human beings hadn’t just happened.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” she asked, her voice biting. Did it mean nothing to him?
Tenderness steeped his gaze, despite her reaction. “I’m savoring.”
“I’m sorry.” Her cheeks burned. “I acted impulsively. I’m not like that.”
“I know.”
“You do?”
“I sensed it about you.”
Hell, what does he think of me? A total idiot as a woman? “Was I that inept?”
“Joanie, you were wonderful. You blew me away. I couldn’t give you my all. Not yet.”
Tears blurred her vision as she walked to the bathroom and closed the door, putting some space between them so she could think about his last statement.
Not yet.
Did he want to wait until she gave him her all first? Couldn’t they just have some fun? She sat on the lidded toilet and sank her face into her hands. Wait. What about the divorce? Will he still go along with it? She shook her head. Snap out of it!
She had a book to write, plus she had a chief editor from one of the top publishing companies in South Africa right in her own home. She had the unique opportunity to learn as much as she could—until the magic wore off anyway.
The almost-sex episode on the bed didn’t matter. It wouldn’t happen again.
She could push him away, break that glue between them, that magnetic force the stupid magical furniture had created. She had to. Whenever she had the need, she would pleasure herself. Her future depended on him leaving.
Naked and exposed were two things in life she hated feeling.
She came out of the bathroom and sat next to him, ignoring the immediate tightening in her pussy at his nearness. “Let’s get to work.” She pulled crumpled pieces of paper from her pockets, every ounce of willpower inside her blocking out the sense of exposure, as though he’d caught a glimpse right into her soul. “Tell me where I’ve used deep point of view in these scenes.”
He gave a warm, gentle smile, and her heart flipped. The same tenderness and patience he’d shown her earlier swam in his gaze. What was it about Theo? Why does he send my emotions in circles so much?
The book was the most important thing in her life, her ultimate goal. Best to ignore the desires tugging her every time he glanced at her.
Even more, she should ignore the scent on his fingers as he took the papers from her.
Chapter Nine
What a day! Joanie yawned as she stirred the onions in the pan until they turned translucent. She peered out her kitchen window toward the darkened garden. They’d worked until late, and unable to quiet the tummy rumbles anymore, she’d excused herself to the kitchen. She’d also needed some space because working with him for hours had intensified her hunger for more than food.
Good thing she still had enough groceries for one meal in her fridge. She sprinkled masala, turmeric, chili, and coriander powder onto the onions then swiped the chicken strips into the pan. The curry fragrance filling the kitchen wafted into her nose, making her sneeze.
Theo entered the room. “Ooh, that smells wonderful.” His voice echoed in the space, drawing her senses away from the aroma. He came closer to see what she was doing.
“It’s not ready yet. I’ve just started.” Her face heated as she realized how her words mirrored his from earlier. As she forced her focus on the pan, her legs jellified, too.
“Are you a good cook?” He sat at the kitchen table, and she let out a breath at the distance created between them by his simple action. Could he be as aware of her every movement as she was of his?
“I’m average. I’ve cooked for the last eight years. Had no choice about it.”
“Glad to hear that. I’m starved. Working with an author face to face is exhausting.”
“I’m bad, hey?” What a relief he’d changed the subject because her mind kept returning to memories of his touch and gaze, earlier, on the bed.
“Can I help?”
“I think you’ve helped enough. Why don’t you chill? Find something relaxing to do.” If he helped, he would be close to her again. “What do you do for relaxation?”
“Make models.”
“You’re kidding me, right?” Her cheeks flared. His fingers must be adept at small movements. Her life could be a sexual thrill ride with such hands pleasuring her. What an odd thought. She’d never wanted that before, always been content with other things.
“Nope.” He sounded embarrassed, almost ashamed.
“You’re a nerd.”
“I know. Through and through.”
She turned to him and smiled. “What of?”
“Jets.”
“Cute.”
“I dream of flying one. That will never happen.”
“Why not?”
“My hearing isn’t that good. Ninety percent deaf in one ear.”
“Is that so?” She stirred the pan vigorously, upset the thought troubled her so much. “How did that happen?”
“Too much swimming as a kid. The grommets didn’t help.”
“My baby sister also had swimmer’s ear and grommets. My mom wrote a note to the school, banning her from all swimming lessons and galas. She was devastated. She couldn’t understand the importance of her hearing above her sport.”
He nodded, no sadness or regret in his expression. “I wish I’d thought about it more. In ignorance, I continued to swim. Only when an infection wouldn’t heal, did I realize I should have stopped sooner.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Hey, I have a hearing aid.”
“I never noticed.”
“It’s in the ear. They make them small nowadays.”
“Isn’t it uncomfortable?”
“You get used to it.”
“Is that why you found it exhausting to work with me so long?” Or did he think she was a horrible writer?
“What we covered today, I normally cover over months of work with writers.”
A lead sinker pulled her heart down to the depths. She wasn’t too sure why.
“There is more I can learn, though? I mean, I’m a total novice.” She filled a pot with water at the sink and poured basmati rice in. Leaving it to soak with some salt, she turned to him, ready to face whatever he said.
“I think, armed with what I’ve taught you today, you should get back to writi
ng. I can help you once I have something to work with.”
“I should, yes.”
Pity. She enjoyed working with him. He taught her gently yet was thorough and direct. His male logic helped put everything into place in her mind. She’d also enjoyed the easy banter they’d shared as they worked. Hard to admit—Theo proved to be good company.
He held up his hands. “Not tonight. Relax. Clear your mind a bit. Don’t overdo yourself in one go.”
“What if I forget what you’ve told me?”
“You won’t. If you do, I’ll remind you.”
“Thanks.” Her voice shook with emotion.
“For what?”
“For helping me. I mean, the situation’s awkward already. You could have gone off to do your own thing. Thanks for taking the time to help me even though I’m not paying you for it.”
He shrugged and went quiet.
“Did any of your models come with?”
He frowned at her.
“When your belongings appeared?”
“I don’t know. Shall I take a look around?”
She nodded, that same naked feeling showering over her body, washing it with heat. He would peep into her closets, see how she lived, see who she was at home in her own space. Why that made her feel so vulnerable, she had no idea. Because she’d never had close contact with men other than her dad? Even her relationship with Dad had been yin-yang—good and bad. He’d been affectionate, but he’d also argued with her many times, pushing his strict ideas too far for her exploring soul. When he’d vanished from her life, the raw sorrow had soon been replaced by guilt. Maybe in some way, she could have shown how much she loved him instead of being the rebel teenager.
That was why she’d put everything into loving her sisters—the best she could do to make it up to her dad.
Theo had gone down the hallway to rummage through her belongings. She buried herself in the curry steam and stirred the pan, adding a can of tomatoes to the brew.
“It’s here.” He burst through the room, his voice like an excited kid, yet too sexy for that. Once again, its timbre sank into her core. Was she being drugged by him? By the magic? How come she couldn’t ease the sexual tension with him around? It pulled tight, making her ready to snap.
Her Real-Life Hero Page 7
