Fuck, she was something else. “And she thinks she doesn’t know me anymore,” I muttered under my breath.
“Yeah well, it’s starting to come back to me piece by piece.”
That hit me like a blow to the stomach. Such a simple statement packed such an emotional punch. To anyone else, that might not have sounded like much, but I knew it was an admission that I was starting to break through those walls of hers.
“So, how come you’re here by yourself? Not in the mood to hunt for some poor, unsuspecting women with Kill and Mace tonight?” she asked, the uncertainty in her eyes belying the casualness of her tone.
“What can I say?” I shrugged. “Meaningless pussy just doesn’t cut it anymore.”
“So you’re saying you want meaningful pussy? How mature of you.”
Resting my back against the booth, I let my gaze travel over what I could see of her body. My cock stirred to life in a way only Tate could incite. “Now, now, Tater tot. It’s not like you to fish.” Her face pinched with anger, but I kept talking before she could issue an insult. “I think you’re more than aware of exactly whose pussy I crave. Sadly, nothing else compares.”
“Sadly,” she repeated, a triumphant smirk tugging at her lips as she leaned back. We sat in silence for several minutes, both getting lost in the acts coming and going from the stage. The drinks the waitress had deposited on our table went untouched while we let the lyrics consume us.
Shifting on the bench, I pulled the small notebook from my back pocket and tossed it onto the table in front of me.
Tate’s focus bounced to the notepad, her eyes growing round at the sight of it before she blinked to clear the glassiness and look back up at me. “You….” Her throat bobbed with a heavy swallow. “You still have that?” she asked, her voice so low I barely heard it over the band playing.
The shock in her voice made my stomach clench, and I knew answering with something light and carefree would be a mistake. “You’re surprised?”
“I—” She closed her eyes for a brief moment, giving her head a quick shake like she was trying to clear it. “I just thought…. How is it not full by now?”
I flipped the book open to a particular song, ‘Crimson’ scribbled along the top in my chicken-scratch handwriting. “I only write the most important songs in this one. All the others are in a separate notebook.”
She dropped her head on a sigh. “God. Declan.”
“I’ve carried you with me for ten fucking years, Tate.” When she looked back up at me, her eyes were red with unshed tears. “How much have you had to drink?” I asked, unable to hold back for another goddamn second.
The way her chest rose with a deep inhale, and how she squirmed in her seat, told me she knew exactly what I was asking. “I switched to water a few hours ago.”
“Good.” Stuffing the notebook back in my pocket, I stood from the booth and grabbed Tate’s hand, pulling her out after me. She didn’t say a word as I led her down a dimly lit hallway off the back of the bar. I checked every door we passed, desperately looking for one that was unlocked. I knew I should wait until we were back at our building, but I couldn’t. My need for her outweighed common sense and courtesy. I had to have her right then.
Finally, one of the knobs turned and I shoved it open, yanking Tatum into the pitch-black room behind me and slamming the door shut. I felt along the wall for a switch, flipping it up as soon as my fingers closed around it and illuminating the space in a glaring florescent light. Bottles lined the shelves all around us, but the minuscule stockroom could have been a five-star hotel for all I cared. All I could see was her. And by the way she pulled at me, trying to get my lips to hers, I knew she felt the exact same way.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” she breathed into my mouth as she worked each button of my shirt free.
“Yes, we fuckin’ should,” I growled, palming her ass and rocking her against my throbbing erection. “We never should’ve stopped doing this.”
Her head fell back on a moan, giving me perfect access to suck and bite at her neck. One of Tate’s hands fisted in my hair as the other came down to rub my cock through my jeans. “Don’t make me beg this time,” she panted, her eyes cloudy and glazed with want. “I need you too much.”
I had my dick free so fast it was a miracle I didn’t get it caught in my zipper. “Need you too, baby,” I told her as I continued to feast on her mouth. Hiking her skirt up to her waist, I ripped her panties off, stuffing them into my pocket before lifting her off the ground and pinning her against the wall. “Need you so goddamn much.” Then I drove in as deep as I could go.
The way her pussy gripped me as I thrust in and out of her was fucking bliss, pure and simple. She wrapped her legs around my waist, crossing her ankles so she could work her hips against mine with each powerful thrust. “God, you feel so good,” she whimpered. “So thick. Fuck me, Declan.”
“Nothing in this world that feels better than being inside you,” I grunted as I moved, mindful not to go too fast. I never wanted this to end.
“Harder, baby,” she demanded, clenching her pussy around me. “Fuck me harder.”
Christ, she was killing me. “No,” I hissed through gritted teeth.
She looked at me with pleading eyes as she begged, “Please, Deck.”
“Want this to last,” I said on a grunt as beads of sweat began to trail down my temples.
Then the little minx leaned in, taking my bottom lip between her teeth, and bit down. “You can fuck me nice and slow later. Right now I want to feel you everywhere.”
Her words made me stop completely, causing her to cry out in protest. “Declan, what are you doing? Move.” She circled her hips, desperately trying to get more of me.
“Promise,” I commanded, refusing to move until I had her attention on my face.
She blinked rapidly to bring me back into focus. “What?”
“Promise this isn’t the last time. Promise you’ll let me have you again and I’ll give you what you want.”
“I….” She hesitated for only a second. “I promise.”
That was all I needed. Pulling all the way out, I dropped her back to her feet and spun her to face the wall. “Yeah, baby. Just like that. God, such a good girl,” I encouraged as she braced her hands on the cold cinder block wall and tipped her ass back to give me better access.
“Yes,” she hissed, throwing her head back when I powered inside her slick pussy. Harsh breaths cut through the echo of naked flesh slapping together as I fucked her so hard I wondered if I’d leave bruises.
Wrapping all that long silky hair around my fist, I pulled back until her neck bent and her back bowed. “This what you want?” I asked, tugging her hair as I fucked her hard and fast.
“Yeah, baby. Just like this.” Lifting my free hand, I brought it down on her bare ass, and her body jolted at the feel of the slap. “Oh god. I’m so fucking close.”
“Yeah, my girl always liked it rough.” I gave her ass another smack, the red palm print on her creamy skin making my cock swell.
Her walls clamped down as she whimpered. “Again, baby,” she begged.
“No one else can give you what I can.” Smack. “No one else knows what you need.” Smack.
“No one,” she cried. “Only you.”
My Tatum was perfect for me in every single way, in bed and out of it. She gave me her heart and her body in any and every way I asked. We’d loved each other so much there were no inhibitions whatsoever.
Sliding a hand between her thighs, I coated my fingers in her juices and slid the slick digits up the crease of her round, perfect ass. Her whole body trembled as I swirled my index finger around her tight hole.
I pressed my chest against her back, my finger prodding that ring of muscle as I whispered into her ear. “Tell me you want me.”
“I want you,” she replied instantly. The first knuckle slipped past the resistance, and I could feel her entire body string tighter.
“This isn’t over,�
� I demanded as my balls drew up, desperate to empty themselves inside her.
“It’s not over,” she repeated.
Another knuckle sank in. “What we have, it’s not even fucking close to over,” I growled.
“Please, Deck. I need to come.”
Releasing my hold on her hair, I snaked my other hand around her ribs and down to where we were joined. I buried my finger deep in her ass, drove my cock into her pussy, and pinched her clit all at the same time, causing her to detonate. It was more goddamn brilliant than fireworks on the Fourth of July, and it was impossible not to follow her headfirst into ecstasy.
With my jaw clenched and my eyes screwed shut, I poured myself into her, groaning her name as stars burst behind my eyelids.
It took forever for us to come back down from the high we’d just ridden together, but once I did, only one thought crossed my mind.
If she tried to run again, I’d tie her to my bed for the rest of her life.
Tatum Valentine was mine. From that moment until the day we died. Whether she liked it or not.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Tatum
Maintaining a professional—and personal—distance from Declan was proving to be much more difficult than I ever would’ve imagined. Especially considering the fact that I didn’t have the first freaking clue what we were.
Two weeks had passed since that night at The Black Sheep, and there wasn’t a single night since that Declan and I hadn’t slept in the same bed. But something between us in that time had shifted. It wasn’t about sex. Well, it wasn’t only about sex. We still went at each other like wild animals after the sun went down, but it was so much more than that.
We talked, ate dinner together—either my cooking or takeout, since he couldn’t be trusted in a kitchen. We curled up on my couch and watched mindless TV together. And there were even a few times where we reminisced about the past, and I caught myself smiling fondly at the memories instead of feeling like I’d taken a punch to the stomach.
What was scariest was how seamlessly it had happened. It was like we’d fallen into a groove without even realizing it. The near obsession, the unbridled desire to consume the other person was still there, but it had been relegated to the shadows, a heady feeling that only surfaced when we made love. Every other time we were alone, it was as though we were any other normal couple on the planet.
If I took the time to think about what we were doing, I’d start to panic. But it was as if Declan had a sixth sense when it came to me and made certain never to be out of my presence long enough for my mind to go down that road.
He’d fought it initially, but when I explained why we couldn’t act touchy-feely in front of our friends from a professional standpoint, Declan had finally relented. To everyone else, we appeared to be nothing more than two people getting along. None of them knew that we were secretly tearing each other’s clothes off at every available opportunity.
It helped that things with the band were blowing up. Garrett and the rest of the Wilder clan were back from their tropical vacation, looking tanned and relaxed, and things had since moved at warp speed. The label had picked the first single on the new album to release to the public, and after some intense studio time, “Soulless” was given to the world. I had to admit, although begrudgingly, that it was an amazing song, and the fans ate it up. After initially hearing it during Civil Corruption’s performance at the American Music Awards months ago, I hated it. The meaning behind the song didn’t burn any less the more I heard it, but the call wasn’t mine to make. And being with Declan was a balm that soothed the sting that song left behind.
In the next few weeks, the guys had a whirlwind of TV and radio interviews to push the upcoming tour. The record label would set us up with their private jet to flit up and down the western seaboard. Then it was a stop in LA, where they’d shoot the music video for “Soulless.” Shortly after that, we’d return home for a concert right here in Seattle, with Usual Suspects opening, to kick off the tour. Then it was on to Europe and Asia before returning to the States for the remainder of the shows. It was almost too much to comprehend, and I don’t know how I would’ve managed on my own. Thankfully I had Eugene, Brenda, and now Gina to help me keep my head afloat.
Another plus was the fact that Gwen had decided to tag along as much as she could. When they returned, they’d dropped the bomb that they were pregnant with baby number two, so she hadn’t be able to join the entire media circus since there was Liddy to take care of and doctors appointments to attend. But Corrine was there the whole time, since Ian was the guys’ head of security, and the two them could barely pull themselves apart for more than five minutes to come up for air.
Everything seemed to be running like a well-oiled machine. The world continued to turn, and California had yet to fall into the ocean. But I still felt off-balance.
“You know, you keep staring like that and you’ll go blind.”
I let out a startled squeak and jumped in my seat, spinning around to face a grinning Declan. “Crap,” I breathed, placing a hand over my frantically beating heart. “You scared the shit outta me. I didn’t even hear you coming.”
Declan plopped down in the spacious seat next to me. “That’s because you’re too obsessed with that stupid laptop to notice anything else.” The private jet had looked so tiny from the outside that I’d had a mini freak-out the first time I saw it, but the second I stepped inside the size seemed to triple like something magical, right out of the world of Harry Potter.
“I’m not obsessed,” I argued, turning back to the computer screen. “I’m working.” My fingers slid over the touch pad on the keyboard as I checked and double-checked the calendar religiously. “I need to make sure nothing in the schedule has changed. And Eugene emailed earlier about the radio interview in San Dieg—hey!” I protested when the laptop suddenly snapped closed, nearly taking my fingers off. “I was looking at that!” I turned back to Declan with a severe frown.
“Relax, will you? You’re gonna burn the fuck out. Nothing’s changed. The schedule’s the same, and anything Eugene’s bugging you with can wait until we land in Sacramento.”
He was right. I was exhausted. Collapsing back in the surprisingly comfy seat, I closed my eyes and pressed the heels of my palms into the sockets. “You’re right,” I said on a sigh. “I’ll try and relax.”
His hand came down on my leg, the tips of his fingers pressing deep into my inner thigh as he slowly slid his palm up toward the juncture between my legs. “Pretty sure I know a way to help you with that, if you want,” he whispered into my ear.
My eyes shot open at his touch, and the innuendo laced through his words. “Knock it off. They’re gonna see us,” I hissed, my eyes darting around the cabin of the plane to make sure no one noticed our unprofessional behavior, even as my body burned and ached for more from him. Garrett was back with Gwen in the only bedroom on the plane. Pregnancy was in full effect, and the woman was tired a lot more than normal. Gina had a big bench all to herself and was curled up, reading a book on her Kindle. Killian was consumed with whatever he was watching on his iPad, and Mace’s loud snores could be heard from a few rows away. Ian and Corrie were currently making out at the back of the plane like two teenagers, and the rest of the security detail were wrapped up in their own means of entertainment. No one was paying Declan and me a bit of attention. But still….
“Who gives a fuck,” he grumbled, removing his hand from my leg and flopping back in his seat with an annoyed huff. “For Christ’s sake, Tate. You don’t have to act like I’ve got Ebola every goddamn time someone else is around.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered quickly, reaching over the armrest dividing our seats and taking his hand. “I’m not trying to do that, I swear. It’s just… until we know exactly what we are, I’d like to keep it private.”
“Until we know what we are?” he repeated indignantly. “The fuck’s that supposed to mean? I know exactly what we are, Tate. And so do you.”
Pulling a breath in through my nose and blowing it past my lips, I searched for my calm as I stated, “It’s not that easy, Deck, and you know it. Our past is messy. We can’t just fall back into what we used to be. Not without talking about it.”
“It is that easy,” he objected, his voice rising a few octaves.
“Please,” I pleaded on a quite whisper. “Lower your voice.”
He glared at me, his jaw ticking like he wanted to let out a bellow, but he thankfully quieted down when he spoke next. “Fuck the past, and everything else. Loving someone is the easiest thing on the goddamn planet.”
My back went straight, my skin grew cold and clammy, and my eyes bulged from their sockets. “Love?” I hissed in bewilderment.
Declan leaned in closer, the spicy scent of his cologne coating the air between us. “Are you really that surprised, baby?”
“I… well… but…,” I stammered before finally finding the words. “Well, yes. Actually, yeah, I am.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, shaking his head almost as if in disappointment before looking at me again, the gray completely snuffing out the blue hue in his eyes. “Just because I didn’t have you the past ten years doesn’t mean I ever stopped loving you. I haven’t. I carry around that notebook every day. I still have the fucking tattoo. I kept every single reminder of you close to me for the last decade. I might not have acted like a choirboy since I lost you, but every time I was with another woman, I closed my eyes and pictured your face as I came. It’s always been you, Tate. It’ll always be you.”
My heart had no business leaping in my chest at that barbaric declaration, but the stupid organ wasn’t listening to me much these days. However, that didn’t mean I was ready for such a significant conversation. I wasn’t. Not even close.
“Declan,” I said on a choked breath. “I can’t….” I had to swallow past the golf ball currently threatening to suffocate me. “I don’t think I’m ready for this. Not right now.” His expression was crestfallen. Everything about his demeanor sagged in defeat, and seeing that was almost too painful to bear. “I need some time,” I continued, hoping to soften the blow a bit. “This isn’t me saying I don’t love you, or that I can’t. Please understand. I like the direction we’ve been going in lately, and I don’t want that to change, but I can’t talk about love. Not yet.”
Defile Page 17
