by Lacy Kinsley
“Fine.” He quickly took off his coat. He dropped it on the floor instead of hanging it, and then did the same thing to his jacket. He left her in the hallway and went back into her room and closed the door. A few minutes later she heard him get in the shower. When the water turned off she waited a few more minutes before she went into the room. He was in her closet pulling a t–shirt over his head. She came in. When he glanced at her, he had bloodshot eyes. It shocked her to see it. He had been crying. “Excuse me.” He said and walked past her. He didn’t look her in the eye.
“Stop,” she said softly and embraced him. “Honey, this is enough. I . . . I didn’t know,” she paused, “that it meant that much to you.”
“You can’t not kiss me.” He proclaimed. “And you can’t withhold saying you love me unless you really don’t.”
“Of course, I love you.” She stressed. “William, I love you! Even when we’re fighting, I still love you.”
“Then you have to say it!” He told her.
He stood in front of her for a moment. He hesitated, but then drew her into a hug. His forehead dropped to hers and took a deep breath as he squeezed her gently. Veronica looked up, and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. He instantly picked her up, and carried her to the bed. “I’m going to make love to you.” He whispered while putting her down. He then removed his shirt before lifting her long t–shirt. In a moment she was completely exposed. He watched her willingly lay back on the bed, and smiled wordlessly asking him to. “I’ve never felt this way with anyone before.” He confessed. “I’ve fallen too deeply for you. That’s why I wish you loved everything about me, even my benevolence—stupid, really. I know I’m sounding like it. But love does that to people, right? Makes them stupid.” He smiled painfully. “I would give that wish up, if you promised to never again deny me your lips and your assurance you love me.” He added, “I need that.”
“I do love everything about you. I love you probably more than you love me.” She said, believing it.
“Doubt it.” He disagreed with a shake of his head. He undressed completely, and then crawled onto the bed. “It will hurt. And I don’t want to hurt you.”
“It will be worth it.” She acknowledged.
He lay on top of her, but propped himself up enough to look in her eyes. He tucked her hair behind her ear, and then leaned into a kiss. She wrapped her legs around him. He opened her mouth for a passionate kiss. His tongue drew across hers deliciously. Her heart pounded when his hand caressed her thigh. She wanted him. His lips slid softly down her neck to her collarbone. His warm breath was sending shivers through her entire body. She needed him. His lips crossed over her collar bone, and then down her chest. She moaned as his warm breath excited her. Yet he moved farther down kissing her skin in a trail.
William slid a finger into her. She gasped. A moment later his tongue found her. She arched her back not believing anything could feel so good. The combination of the wet touch and the perfect pressure excited her beyond anything she had experienced. Everything he did, from nibbling and sucking, he did well. She shivered.
“Honey, please make love to me!” She begged. He was teasing her, but she wanted more of him. She wanted to feel him in her. See what he looked like over her while he pressed into her. Hear him as he made love to her. Kiss him while he rocked her. “Please, Honey, I love you and I want to make love with you.”
Her words had the opposite effect on him than she wished. He jumped off her. In a moment he was off the bed. “I can’t do this!” He groaned. He began to dress.
“What? What’s wrong?” She asked.
“I can’t . . . and you shouldn’t let me! We’re not engaged.” He reminded her. “I was serious about that. I am!”
“Well then ask me already and then get back over here and make love to me.” She demanded. “This has been going on for two weeks now. You have to be way more frustrated than me, because I’m the one who has an orgasm all the time, not you.”
He put on his sweat pants and then adjusted the waistband. She loved to watch his muscles harden with his movements. He had a phenomenal body. She begged him to come back to bed, wanting to touch him. “You’re only saying that because you’re in the mood. You would never say that if you weren’t frustrated.” He added, “And I’m not that frustrated. I like to see you satisfied. And I don’t want to hurt you when I first make love to you. I don’t want to ever hurt you.”
“It hasn’t hurt lately.” She confessed.
“Yeah, well I’m bigger than two fingers.” He said.
She smiled and blushed. He was much more confident talking about sex than she was. He knew more about sex than she did. Even his touch proved his experience despite saying he wasn’t great. It only made her less confident because he was so good at everything. Usually she liked his forward talk because it meant he asked her questions of what she wanted at that exact moment. However, she couldn’t help but blush. Everything was still so new to her. It felt . . . grown up. Seeing her timidity only made William more determined to wait. He told her he wanted her comfortable with him and it proved they weren’t ready. “Why won’t you let me touch you? I would feel better if you told me what you like. I’m clueless half the time.” She asked, feeling her temper rise slightly. He was making her feel young and inexperienced, and she didn’t like it.
“Because, Babe, I couldn’t stop if you did.” He said. “Believe me, I will when the time comes.”
“I don’t mind!” She said.
He smiled. “That is half the problem, and I’m the other half.” He laughed. “I’m going to make love to you when I ask to marry you, and while in the most romantic place in the world. So let’s not be impatient. In the meantime I want us to become familiar with each other. I don’t want you self–conscious or uncomfortable around me, especially when I’m making love to you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY–FIVE
Their tiff was long forgotten by the next week. Veronica wore her heart–shaped diamond earrings that were each no larger than a half carat. It was his determination to prove it wasn’t a big deal that influenced the size of them, and she knew it, but she didn’t breathe a word about it. Because it looked like something Veronica could have bought for herself, she wore them every day. It didn’t go unnoticed by William. Not that he mentioned anything about them, but he continually tucked her hair behind her ear, said he loved her, and then kissed her after seeing them.
It wasn’t soon after that Veronica began to feel her life wasn’t her own. Her work was taking over any spare time she had. Veronica had nine special orders to personally make. She was bringing material home in order to keep working on them. Every waking moment was spent on piecing together the shoes. It was a painstakingly slow process that couldn’t be rushed, and each pair would take her several days. Veronica wondered if it was worth it. It was too great of a cost because her life was on hold. By the time her fifth pair was completed she had little sleep, hardly any food, and she hadn’t sketched one shoe in weeks. It was then she decided she had to call Andrea and tell her that special orders would have at least a month–long wait it the future, and she wouldn’t be able to make more than one pair every two weeks. Veronica thought that was pushing it, but at least she wouldn’t have to bring her work home. Andrea didn’t skip a beat agreeing with her, and expressed it was okay if the wait was longer and because of backorders. Even a year would be acceptable.
The good news about the hectic work schedule was that there was no longer any doubt in Veronica’s mind that N. Y. Soles would be a success. She never imagined her store would do so well, but every day more and more people came in by word of mouth or from people who read the paper about her and William’s ongoing romance. Andrea’s six–month prediction of recouping her money kept moving up and up, until she was sure that in three or four months they would be making a profit. Andrea stated she had never seen anything like it; the store was growing faster than she could’ve ever expected.
It was nearing mid–December when Ver
onica finally finished the ninth pair of shoes. Andrea was gracious enough to not accept special orders until after the New Year, even with the Christmas holiday approaching. She had reminded her in the last phone conversation the previous morning saying, “I think you should take some time off. We’re doing great here. We’re allowed a glitch or two, and I think it was magnified by the Christmas season; otherwise it would’ve been a small mistake. But it’s close to Christmas; it’s a week away. Why don’t you go shopping? Relax, and enjoy life; I dare say you haven’t had one lately. You’ve done enough, and everything else can wait. Don’t come back until Monday the twenty–eighth. You deserve and need it.”
“I might sketch a bit. It’s been a while. But I think you’re right. I’ll be home if you need me.” Veronica had said.
“I do need you! I need to you to rest! I’m out of work without you.” Andrea laughed. “So, from now on I need to take better care of you. I will only take two specialty orders a month, and none until next year. We can make the wait as long as we need to. Besides, if customers know your shoes are that popular, they will have to wait months or maybe even years. That’ll drive up demand and demand drives price. So, it’s a good thing.” She changed the subject, “Oh, by the way, I have a bonus check for you for Christmas. It’s from RJ, actually. He’s a giver, and we talked about it. We want to give it to you. I could have your assistant deposit it into your bank if you wish.”
“Oh, thank you, and yes. I’ll send RJ a thank you card. That’s very nice—of the both of you. Thank you!” Veronica said.
The rest of the day and night Veronica slept soundly. She ended up getting up at six the following morning, restless. Hope was sleeping on her new favorite spot, William’s pillow. She had grown twice as big, twice as playful, and twice as cute since they got her. Veronica was sure Hope would prefer her over William once he left, but that didn’t end up being the case. Instead, she lounged around her house and waited for him to show up. She spent nearly sixteen hours a day on his pillow.
William had been coming over a lot more now that his place was taken over by little girls with too many toys. His need for a clean house was being tested daily. He ended up coming over six times a week and cooked dinner when he stayed over—it surprised Veronica to learn he could actually cook. She was under the impression he couldn’t except for on a barbeque. She ate it feeling guilty because she always ate in a hurry and then quickly got up to continue her work with little more than a few words of thanks, and a single question of how he was. It wasn’t until she was almost done with the last pair that she noticed him glare at them while he pretended to watch television. “I can’t wait until you’re done. I miss you and you’re right here.” He grumbled, and of course she had to make him repeat it because she was concentrating elsewhere. After he did, he added, “And that’s why.” She apologized, quickly kissed him, and promised she would pay him more attention when she was finished. Then she immersed herself back into her last shoe. The end being in sight made her want to hurry, but she forced herself to go slow enough to do her best.
After she talked to Andrea, she had every intention to call William and tell him she had time off, but she was so tired she laid down for a quick nap. However, she didn’t get up until the following morning. She called him as she drank coffee. It was early but she knew he would be awake.
“Hey, Babe.” He said when he answered his phone. She could hear him running on a treadmill.
“Hi.” She said, pleased to hear his voice. She felt like she hadn’t seen him in a long time. “I miss you.”
“That’s because we’ve hardly seen each other. I’ll come over tonight and I’ll stare at you half the night, and kiss you the rest. That’s if you’re finally done with all those bloody shoes. Please tell me that’s why you’re calling.” He said and laughed.
“It is.” She heard him slow down his run to a walk and she asked, “How did you do?”
“Four eight–minute miles.” He responded not even breathing hard.
“You suck!” She jested and laughed.
“My side hurts a bit.” He said with a smile that she could hear over the phone.
“Get a real problem, William.” She teased him, and then added, “I’ve been off since yesterday, and I’m on vacation until the twenty–eighth. I was hoping you could take some time too, but you haven’t mentioned anything.”
“You were off yesterday? Why didn’t you call?” He asked.
“I literally slept all day.” She said.
“Babe, you’ve got to stop working like that. It’s only a job.” He paused before adding, “I wish you would’ve called me. I miss you. I could’ve napped with you, or at least tried. But I’ll come over now, if it’s okay. I’ll take off until the twenty–eighth, too.”
“Good, hurry over here.” She said.
He turned off his treadmill. “I’m on my way.” He said as they hung up.
Veronica ate a bowl of cereal, brushed her teeth, and hopped into the shower. She was rinsing off when the shower door open and she jumped. “William, you scared me! I didn’t hear you come in.”
“Sorry.” He said but his smile wasn’t expressing regret.
“You got here fast.” She said.
“Good thing too, I haven’t seen you naked in a week.” He complained. He took her shower scrubber, dropped it, and kissed her. He was so exuberant about it, that he pressed her against the wall. His hand slid down her body, and wrapped one of her legs around him. She moaned when he pressed his body against hers. “This is hot! We should have done this a long time ago.” He said in a low husky voice. He pinned her against the wall with his hips.
“Make love to me! Please!” She begged him.
He smiled. “Put your arms around me.” He said and she did. Then he drew up her other leg and wrapped it around him. He looked into her eyes watching her excitement with a pleased expression. “I’m going to make love to you several times, Veronica. I have to.”
“Once, for now.” She said. His smile slowly faded, and his hips released her from the wall. “No! What are you doing?”
“Putting you down.” He stated when her feet touched the shower floor.
“No! William, this is getting old. You didn’t even touch me for two seconds! I love you, and I want to be with you. No, don’t get out! William, come back. Get back in here. William! I mean it! William!” She called after him, but in vain. He had left the bathroom.
She quickly rinsed her body and got out. She dried her hair, and then took her time getting dressed. She put on black slacks and a purple cashmere sweater that had large buttons and an overly wide collar. She slowly applied her make–up, hoping that by the time she dressed she would be calm enough to politely tell him that he was driving her insane, and to make love to her already.
When she went into the living room, William had Hope on his lap and was petting her as she kept bumping her nose into his hand demanding more. “You look nice.” He complimented her when she came into the room. “I love that about you, by the way. You have style without trying.”
“William.” She said.
“Yeah?” He waited for a response. However, she didn’t say anything and instead she looked at him with raised eyebrows, letting him know that she was frustrated. “I’m sorry. I won’t do that again.”
“That isn’t what I want, and you know it.” She uttered.
“I know, Babe. This is hard. I know!” He admitted.
“Can’t you change your rules? This is getting too hard. I’m going to cry about this. We love each other! What are we waiting for? I don’t need to be ‘in the most romantic place in the world.’ It will only make me more nervous, anyway. All I need is for you to get back into my room, and make love to me before you drive me insane.” Veronica said.
“Soon, I promise you.” He exclaimed. “Believe me, it will be soon. I’m more frustrated than you.”
“Obviously not.” She said. She walked over to him, took Hope, and put her on the floor.
“What are you doing?” He asked her.
“I’m going to sit on your lap.” She said, but she straddled him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. Veronica pressed him into the futon and began to unbutton his shirt.
“Veronica, please! Don’t. I said soon. I meant it.” He stressed. “I can’t do this. I’ll make you orgasm, but it won’t be with intercourse, okay?”
“That’s not good enough. I want to touch you, too. I want to be with you.” She said.
He slid to the edge of the futon, and then stood carrying her so he could put her down. “Babe.” He thought about what he wanted to say, but nothing came to mind. He changed the subject. “Let’s go. I’ll take you out to eat.”
“I ate already.” She said. “Seriously, I don’t know what we’re waiting for! Tell me!”
“I want to propose to you first. I need to know you’re sure about me. I don’t want to scare . . .” He began.
“I told you not to say that anymore!” She interrupted him.
“I’m trying to believe I won’t freak you out. I need more time.” He said.
“Why don’t you say what you really mean, William? You’re not sure about me. You’re using my previous hesitations to reinforce your walls!” She accused him.
“Babe.” He looked at her, and tucked the hair behind her ear. “I’m not trying to contradict you or argue with you, but you couldn’t be further from the truth. I have no reservations about being with you. The last thing I am is not ready. But I know you; you don’t do anything rash. I told you I expect that you will throw out all your old assumptions about a long engagement but I’m not egotistical or confident enough to believe you’ll say yes to me after a month and a half. I don’t want to scare you. I know you don’t want to hear it, but that’s my only explanation. I don’t want to jump the gun. I won’t. I don’t want to lose you.”
“Sorry, but it still sounds like you’re not thrilled about proposing so soon.” She said.
