by Ava McKnight
Leaving her office, I went back to my laptop and printed out the article that had recently been returned by our copy editor. I thought the feature did the club—and Jack’s plight—justice and I had a feeling my readers would like the new concept we were pushing out to them.
At lunchtime, I went shopping. Then I paid a visit to ProAth. I had one more obstacle to overcome. Two, really, but a reconciliation with my father entailed extensive work and I’d have to come up with a strategy for that if I decided to tackle our estranged relationship.
Meanwhile, I walked into the athletic club and was immediately greeted by the superhunk, whose name was Josh, according to his nametag.
Tamping down a bout of nerves, I said, “I’d like to sign up for a membership.”
What the hell, right? If you were going to make drastic changes in your life, why not jump in with both feet?
Pleased by my decision, Josh said, “I’ll page Jack. He’ll want to give you a discount.”
I couldn’t argue with that. I waited a few minutes before the object of my desire bounded down the stairs and joined me in the lobby.
He gave me a tight hug and said, “You came around sooner than I’d hoped. I’m glad.”
I laughed, something I’d been doing more and more of since meeting this man a week ago.
“What’s with the bag?” he asked as he pulled away and gestured toward the tote I’d set at my feet.
“Workout clothes. I thought I could hire a personal trainer to get me in shape.”
With a sexy grin, he said, “I’d happily train you for free.”
“That’s an even better deal.” I smiled up at him, my stomach fluttering as I ventured into even more daring territory. Lowering my voice so only he could hear me, I said, “About that thing you mentioned after we made love Friday night. If it’s still on the table… I would like to stay. With you.”
He gathered me in his arms again and I clung to him, feeling as though I’d finally called forth the inner strength I’d needed to let go of my past and move forward. With Jack’s help, of course.
“I think you’ve made a wise decision,” he said in a teasing voice, which made me laugh harder.
“So much for your humility.”
“Oh, I’m humble enough. And very, very happy to have you in my arms. And in my bed.”
“Yeah, I like both places too.”
He kissed me and I didn’t even care about the whistles and the cheering that erupted. I kicked my insecure shell to the curb and embraced the new and improved Claire. And the ridiculously wonderful emotions Jack evoked, along with a renewed sense of belonging.
When I finally pulled away, I couldn’t stop from saying the words I’d long since given up on ever uttering. “I don’t know how it happened so quickly, but I am very much in love with you, Jack Reed.”
His grin made my heart soar. “I think you already know the feeling’s mutual.”
Instinctively, I did.
Picking up my tote and then taking my hand, he said, “Let’s step into my office.”
“Ah, yes. Paperwork to fill out for my membership.”
His beautiful emerald eyes twinkled mischievously as he said, “We’ll get to that. Eventually…”
Epilogue
It occurred to me one hot, bright, sunny morning that what Jack had done for me was far greater than unlocking my passion and encouraging me to walk through doors I’d kept tightly closed. He’d given me more than love and hope and amazingly explosive orgasms.
He’d involved me in a lifestyle that centered around communication and friendship and trust. Trust that the people I surrounded myself with would give me what I needed if I was brave enough to give them what they needed. Honest interactions and a forthright, genuine affection, no matter what level it was on.
So I can selflessly admit it wasn’t my own stroke of brilliance that caused me to hop the pond on a jetliner and stroll, rather confidently, through the corridors of the Williams Holdings, Inc. building in downtown London. It was Jack’s brilliance. His guidance. His love.
I saw the shocked expression on my father’s assistant’s face as I cruised toward her desk. Candace Lovett had worked for my father since he’d moved his headquarters to London twelve years ago and had only seen me two or three times. But she clearly recognized me. Her mouth gaped as she sprang to her feet. Straightening her already impeccable suit jacket, she raised a hand, clearly in hopes of quickly cutting me off at the pass.
“Miss Williams, it’s such a pleasure to see you,” she said, her meticulous British accent making her rushed tone sound even more clipped. “Your father is on a conference call. Perhaps I can arrange dinner for the two of you later in the we—”
“I won’t be here later in the week,” I said with a smile. “I’m on my way to Paris. This is just a brief layover, so if you wouldn’t mind letting my father know I’m here…”
“It’s just that… You know he doesn’t like surprises.” She looked a little panicked. As though she’d been forewarned years ago not to let me pass.
I found this notion an annoying one. And I wouldn’t let it deter me. “I’m his daughter, not a surprise. He knew he was having a little girl thirty years ago. He’s just conveniently forgotten he’s a father.”
I stepped around her, but she was quick to catch up to me and barricade the door with her lithe body. She patted her smart salt-and-pepper bob and said, “He really can’t be bothered right now, Claire. He’s strategizing over a new acquisition.”
“I only need a few minutes of his time, Candace. I’m sure he can reschedule his call in order to speak with me. I’ve flown all this way and…let’s see…when’s the last time we spoke?” I pretended to ponder this, although I knew precisely the day. “Oh, yes. My birthday, nearly eight months ago.”
“Claire,” she said on a sigh. “He’s a very busy man.”
“I’m only here overnight. I promise not to steal more than twenty minutes of his time.”
She pulled in a deep breath and then let it out slowly. “Fine. But you’ll feel guilty if he fires me over this.”
“He can’t find his way out of a paper bag without you, Candace. We all know that. Now please,” I said, surprising both of us with my nerve, “step aside.”
She did as I asked and I opened the door to my father’s very impressive office.
His gaze instantly snapped up at the interruption and then shock lit his attractive features and he said into the speakerphone, “Excuse me, gentlemen. I’ll have to call you back.”
Without waiting for an answer on the other end, he disconnected the call and stood.
My nerve nearly melted into oblivion at his six-foot-four-inch commanding presence, but I’d gathered a bit of experience in dealing with high-powered, commanding men this past month or so, given Jack’s very electric energy, so I didn’t cower in the corner as I was typically prone to do when facing my father. I’d always let him railroad me. I’d always let him convince me he knew best and that I was just a kid who didn’t know any better.
Those days were long gone.
I took several steps forward and said, “It’s nice to see you, Dad.”
“Is there some sort of emergency, Claire? Is something wrong?”
I wasn’t surprised he’d venture down this path—it wasn’t like I visited him regularly and I certainly didn’t call him on a routine basis. I’d given up on that years ago when all I ever got was Candace or his voicemail.
The concern that flashed in his dark-green eyes, however, made me quickly put his mind at ease. “No emergency,” I said. “Everything’s fine. Great, in fact. I’m sorry to intrude, but I’m only here one night and I didn’t want to risk a brush-off.”
“I’m very busy,” he said in a defensive tone, which softened instantly as he added, “But of course, it’s wonderful to see you. You look beautiful.”
This seemed to choke him up, which surprised me. My father had stopped showing any sort of emotion after my mother had left.<
br />
I took a few more steps toward him, these ones a bit tentative. “Thanks,” I said. “You look great too.” He did. My father had always been dashing and refined. I couldn’t for the life of me imagine why my mother had left him. He’d even had a compassionate nature when we’d been a happy little family. And his generosity knew no bounds. There’d been nothing he’d deny either one of us. Why on earth she’d thought she needed more than him was beyond me. Before he’d closed himself off emotionally, he’d been very giving of his love and affection.
I wondered now if that was the problem. Had he posed no challenge for her and she’d therefore grown tired of him?
The thought of Jack’s personality and the distinct similarities between him and my father flashed in my mind. In that instant, I knew the villain in this scenario was not my father. It was most definitely my mother.
I could never grow tired of Jack, and if by some extreme and bizarre twist of fate I did, I would be the asshole, not him. I would be the one to sell myself short.
My mother had done just that, I decided.
Emotion welled within me as I took those final two steps that closed the gap between my father and I. Giving him a hug clearly took him aback, but he didn’t resist or rebuff the gesture. He held me tightly and tears pooled in my eyes as it dawned on me we’d always been on the same page, yet neither one of us had been able to see the proverbial forest for the trees.
“I love you, Dad.”
He squeezed me tighter. “Claire-bear,” he whispered on a broken breath. “I love you too.”
I’d always adored the nickname he’d given me, though the last time I’d heard it had been twenty-three years ago.
When he finally released me, I held my left hand out to him and his grin made my heart soar.
“That’s some rock,” he said, his tone still laced with emotion. “Who’s the lucky fella?”
“Actually, I’m the lucky one. His name is Jack Reed. Have you heard of him?”
“Heard of him?” My father laughed. “I saw him the other night on TV. An infomercial I’d caught because I couldn’t sleep.”
“He’s amazing, Dad. He proposed a few days ago, and that’s why I’m here. I want you to walk me down the aisle at our wedding. I want you to give me away.”
I meant that in various senses of the traditional concept. Not only did I want my father to be at my side as I made this huge transition in my life, but I wanted him to be the one to place my hand in Jack’s so that I could fully sever the painful emotional binds I’d been tied to and start fresh. With Jack.
My dad moved away from me and sat in his big chair behind his enormous desk. His elbows rested on the arms of the chair and his fingertips pressed together in a tall steeple. He said, “Claire, I’m not exactly worthy of walking you down the aisle.”
I tamped down the hard lump that swelled in my throat. “That’s not true. You’re my father.”
“Some father,” he muttered under his breath.
So he knew how his actions had impacted me. We’d come full circle. That thought spurred me on.
I said, “In a lot of ways, you’ve been an ideal parent. I never lacked for anything. I was surrounded by wonderful people you personally hired. I have a trust fund that has allowed me to invest in a business I believe in, helping me to keep jobs for people I genuinely like.”
He nodded, though his expression didn’t change. He still looked like a man on trial for a serious crime. I was about to let him off the hook when a picture frame on the corner of his desk caught my eye.
I lifted it up and stared at the spitting image of myself…though this photo was not of me.
A peculiar rage rose within me. Although, maybe it wasn’t quite so peculiar. There was a familiarity to it, I realized, that I had ignored for decades. It was that anger I’d suppressed long ago.
With my arms spread wide as I still held the photo, I demanded, “Why on earth would you keep a photo of her, Dad?”
He shot to his feet and I took a step backward.
“I don’t expect you to understand,” he told me.
With a shake of my head, I said, “Good. Because I don’t. We’ve both wasted too much of lives wishing she’d never left and praying she’d come back. At what point did that exceed the ridiculous, Dad? Twenty-three years have passed and, until recently, until I met Jack, I was incapable of forming any type of relationship with friends or a boyfriend. I didn’t date. I didn’t invite people into my life, because in the back of my head, I feared I’d get too comfortable with them in my life and just when I let my guard down, they’d rip the rug from underneath me by leaving.”
“I’m sure she had her reasons.” He defended my mother, which only flamed my fury.
“What reason could she have had?” I suddenly shouted, twenty-three years of pent-up angst getting the best of me. “She had everything. You were good to her. I didn’t cry or fuss or antagonize her in any way. She had a beautiful home and credit cards and country club memberships. You said yourself she wasn’t interested in working, that she liked her ‘ladies who lunch’ group and the way everyone treated her, like she was the Queen of England. What more could she possibly have wanted?”
“I don’t know,” he said between clenched teeth. “I honestly don’t, Claire. I loved her more than anything. I gave her everything her heart desired and when you came along, she was just so…proud of you, Claire.”
This took me aback. “How can you say that? No one leaves someone they’re proud of.”
“No?” he demanded as insistently as I’d just done. His intelligent green eyes misted and he said, “Think about it, Claire. You were seven years old with an aptitude that suggested you should already be in junior high school. Not only were you smart, you were beautiful, even as a child. Scary beautiful in that way that made everyone around you treat you as though you were a delicate China doll, they were so worried they’d break you if they even shook your hand. You were perfect in so many ways and yet… I left you, didn’t I?”
I sucked in a sharp breath as tears stung my eyes. The corners of my mouth quivered, but I managed to say, “Explain that to me.”
He shook his head, but he didn’t turn away. He plunged forward. “I’m just saying that your mother got everything she wanted and then she must have realized she wasn’t good enough to keep it. She was never challenged by life, she’d never worked for anything—it was all just given to her. In a lot of ways, I felt the same at the time. This business was handed down to me. I didn’t need to do more than maintain the norm and we’d all have still lived well beyond our comfort zones.”
An odd notion tickled the back of my brain, making me swipe at the tears rolling down my flushed cheeks. “Oh geez, Dad. You took on the global investments to prove you were worthy of carrying on what your father had left for you.”
He finally turned away and stared out the picture window that overlooked Big Ben and the House of Parliament.
Eventually, he said, “When she left, I understood it on a subconscious level. And it made me want to work harder for what I had. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel I deserved everything I’d been given, and that included you, Claire. I was ashamed I couldn’t keep my wife happy enough to make her want to stay.”
How ashamed had I felt when I’d cowered in Jack’s bathroom after his mother had called and I’d considered all the things I’d missed out on because of my fears and inadequacies?
How could I not understand what my father had gone through?
With a sigh, I dumped the photo of my mother in the trash bin next to my dad’s desk and said, “We’ve both been so foolish. Don’t you think it’s time we buried the past and moved on? Neither one of us has anything to be ashamed of anymore, Dad. We’ve both worked really hard and now I’m ready to get married and have babies and spend the rest of my life with someone who makes me feel like I’m a normal person. Someone who makes me feel whole again.”
He turned back to me and said, “I’m so happy for you, Clair
e-bear.”
“So you’ll come to the wedding? You’ll be my dad and give me away?” I asked, emotion and apprehension churning my stomach. “You’ll be a really great grandfather and visit more often?”
The expression that crossed his face was a somewhat tormented one. “You really want that? After all the years I wasn’t there for—”
“Dad,” I said as I rounded his desk and took his large hands in mine. “I’ve made mistakes too. A lot of them. But I’m learning from those mistakes. I’m taking some risks and I’m letting one seriously amazing man into my life. Don’t you think it’s time you came out of your shell too?”
He stared at me for a few tense moments. I could see this wasn’t a new concept for him, but certainly a difficult one. As difficult as it’d been for me. It was scary, I knew, but he couldn’t possibly have gotten as far in life and business as he had without taking a few chances.
So I wasn’t surprised when he finally cracked a smile and nodded his acquiescence. “You always were a smart kid,” he told me. “You’re right. I’ve got to make some changes.”
I gave him another hug and then said, “The wedding’s in a month. Plenty of time for you to rearrange your schedule.”
He chuckled and assured me, “I’ll be there, I promise. And this thing about having kids…”
“Yes?” I gazed up at him unwaveringly.
“I think you’ll make one hell of a mom, Claire-bear.”
I hugged him again as more tears streamed down my cheeks. I prayed he was right. But then, I didn’t really fear screwing up my children’s lives. I knew the pitfalls to avoid and, after all, I had Jack’s steady guidance to help me along. Not to mention his warm and caring parents, who had started a family when they were just barely out of high school. They’d made it twenty-nine years together and were still going strong. I suspected that gene had been passed to the man I was going to marry and that made me even more sure of the direction we were headed.
Plus I knew deep in my soul what I wanted. Jack and a beautiful brood we could lavish with all the love and affection we shared, and which I’d wished for growing up.
