by Virna DePaul
“Maybe,” he said. “But can we pretend you don’t? At least until after breakfast?”
She hesitated, then nodded. He wanted time to think on it. Or more time to enjoy their time together before things turned ugly. Either way, she felt the same way.
With a heavy sigh, Gabe turned away. Brianne watched, captivated by the sight of his body in motion, while he made coffee and got breakfast started. Muscles played beneath his bare skin as he bent and twisted. He was in magnificent shape. She blushed, remembering what he’d done to her just hours earlier. If that was what all his boxing and working out did, she’d buy him his own gym.
At the smell of bacon hitting a hot pan, her stomach rumbled audibly.
He grinned. “Sorry. I’m starved, too, given we skipped dinner. Not to mention we got a little carried away last night and worked up an appetite.”
They’d gotten “carried away”?
His choice of words filled her with dread.
She’d been fine with his request to avoid talking about his worries, but now she was getting the distinct feeling that he was already shutting down on her.
“You don’t have to be sorry. I’m just as responsible for last night as you are,” she murmured. She shivered, pulling her legs closer to her chest. It had gotten colder.
“You were left at the altar a couple of weeks ago, Brianne,” he muttered, and she immediately straightened.
“So what? That has nothing to do with last night.”
His head whipped up and his gaze lasered into hers. “I beg to differ. Because if you hadn’t been left at the altar, you’d be Eric’s wife right now, and I guarantee you last night would never have happened.”
“I know that,” she snapped. “You don’t have to point it out. Or do you? Are you blaming me for last night? Are you implying that even if I’d married Eric, I would have seduced you? Because—because of the dreams I told you about?” Suddenly, she felt her lips tremble.
Oh God. She’d expected Gabe to have some regrets, but she’d never thought he’d think that of her. That he’d—
“Stop it, Brianne,” he said, his harsh voice interrupting her thought. “I don’t think that.”
“Then what are you thinking?”
He swallowed hard, turned away for a moment, then turned back to her with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand.
“You could have espresso makers for your event,” he murmured. “I’m sure a lot of your guests aren’t used to drinking plain coffee anymore. I couldn’t get my hands on one in time.”
“Yeah, sure, fine.” Who cared about coffee? Who cared about the damn contest? All she cared about was the man in front of her. The man who was obviously beginning to push her away.
“And there should be something sort of fancy for breakfasts, wouldn’t you say? Or do you think it would be more of a brunch situation?” he asked.
“Brunch,” she answered, automatically. She wasn’t thinking about his words, only about the way her heart was aching.
“What do you think—omelet station? Waffle station? Crepes, maybe?”
“I don’t know,” Bri said, searching desperately for a way to get through to him while their conversation masked what was really happening. “Um, maybe omelets and crepes? Waffles may be considered too high in carbs for many of these people. Especially the women.”
“Of course.” Gabe pulled up a table, placing it in front of Brianne, and set a plate of bacon and eggs in front of her. “Scrambled, like you like them.”
“And bacon nearly burned. You remember how I hate floppy bacon.”
“Floppy bacon might as well be ham,” he said, quoting something she’d declared years before. How was it he could remember so much of what she said? Like he carried a tape recorder around with him.
He sat down to his own food, eating carefully. Avoiding her gaze. Brianne’s heart broke, but she desperately tried to hide it. For several minutes, she pushed her food around, then gave up.
“What’s happening, Gabe?” she asked, searching his face.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I understand you’re freaked. I know it’s an adjustment, the two of us. After what happened last night. But I didn’t expect this feeling of distance between us. We’re not strangers, you and me. This wasn’t a one-night stand, not like before.”
“Wasn’t it?” he said, sighing and pushing his empty plate away.
Her eyes widened. “Not to me. Was it to you? Please, talk to me. I want us to be open with each other, you know? No secrets.”
“You mean like the secrets we both kept from Eric.”
He might as well have hit her. “Why are you talking about him right now?” Of course she understood why. But what she’d meant to ask was why they weren’t talking about them first. Wasn’t that the most important thing? How they felt about each other? What they wanted from each other? Only then could they talk about Eric and what needed to happen next.
Gabe laughed bitterly. “Are you kidding? Eric’s right here, standing between us. Or he might as well be.” He got up, pushing his chair aside, before busying himself with cleanup. Soon, she realized he wasn’t just cleaning up, but packing up.
“Gabe?” she said. “Stop it! You can’t pretend last night didn’t happen.”
“I’m not pretending that. It’s just…for six years, I’d convinced myself that you and Eric were perfect for each other. That you and I were just friends. That you didn’t feel the way I did. That I wasn’t good enough for you. Some of that’s changed, but not all of it.”
Brianne’s eyes filled with tears. She could clearly see the tension in Gabe’s shoulders as he worked. No one had ever scoured a pan more thoroughly than he was. He poured water over the fire, eradicating the flames, then shoveled ash over top.
He stared at the extinguished fire. “I’m used to stepping aside, Brianne. It’s what feels right to me.”
“But it’s not right. Not anymore.” She dared to reach out and place a tentative hand on his back, which he shrugged off.
Like her touch burned.
She yanked her hand back, hurt by his reaction.
Regret flickered across his expression before he neutralized it.
“Eric’s gone. He left me, Gabe.”
“He’s going to be back. You know that.”
“Well, yeah. His family. His job. His life is here, after all. But that doesn’t mean we’ll be back together.”
“You’re wrong. I know Eric. I didn’t know about the dreams, and I can see why he flipped out, but he’s going to fight for you. He’s going to be back to claim what’s his.”
Something about his words stirred Brianne. “Do me a favor,” she said, her voice low. “Stop talking about me like I’m a thing.”
“Huh?” He turned to her, confusion in his eyes.
Typical man.
No matter how special he was, he was still an infuriatingly stubborn, clueless man.
“I’m not his. I’m not yours. I’m mine. My own person.”
“I’m sorry,” Gabe said, his head bent. “Bad choice of words.”
“Extremely bad,” Bri agreed, simmering. “Now all that aside, Eric left me, but he did it to give me time and space to figure out what I really wanted. Who I wanted. And I thought I made it clear last night that I was choosing you.”
“But Eric—”
“Gabe, I felt like the world’s biggest piece of garbage for hurting him, even when I didn’t mean to. But right now, I’m not his biggest fan. He could have stuck around. We could have worked it out, even if we decided not to go through with the wedding. We could have stood side-by-side and told everyone we made a decision together. But no, he ran away instead. I don’t even know what he’s thinking. And here you are, ruining what went on between us. For what? For someone who can’t be bothered to stay and fight it out?”
“Don’t you feel the slightest bit of loyalty?” Gabe asked. “Don’t you feel a little bit of guilt?”
“Of course I do! But I t
hought you and I could work that out together,” she said. “Just the way Eric and I could have worked out what was happening between us. But you’re so much alike. You would both rather run away.”
The muscles in his face worked. He wanted to say something. Brianne wished he would just say it. Say anything. It had to be better than watching him shut down.
But no. it wasn’t meant to be.
Instead of denying what she’d said or even responding to it, Brianne watched as Gabe walked into the yurt. She heard him taking things apart inside.
Oh God, she couldn’t believe it. It was over before it had barely begun.
So suddenly. So fast.
She cried out in despair, clamping a hand over her mouth to mute the sound and turning away. Just when she’d thought she was about to have everything she truly wanted, it was taken away again.
She walked down to the river, sitting in the grass with her feet in the water. She heard the sounds of Gabe taking things down, but she didn’t dare turn around to watch. It would be easier this way, not witnessing him tearing apart everything beautiful that had happened between them.
* * *
Gabe didn’t know what happened. All he knew was he’d woken up and she hadn’t been there, and he’d panicked. He didn’t deserve her, anyway, and now he’d gotten her into trouble. She’d wandered off and hurt herself, and it was his fault for thinking he could be with her. It had all been a dream—how else had he ended up with Brianne?
But there she was, outside the yurt, watching the sunrise in his sweater. She had looked beyond adorable, sexy and innocent all at once. That was who she was. The perfect combination of woman and girl.
And it had hit him like a thunderbolt.
He’d slept with Eric’s fiancée.
He’d stolen her from him without even meaning to.
At least, that’s how he’d felt.
Granted, Eric and Brianne weren’t technically together, not after he’d left her at the altar, but he hadn’t even seen or talked to Eric since the night before the wedding. It would have been a lot easier if the prick would just contact him already. They could talk it out. He could apologize, and see where Eric thought his relationship was going. It didn’t seem right to move forward with his own life without knowing where Eric’s head was.
Brianne had accused him of not caring how she felt. Of course he did. But it went against everything Gabe believed in to take advantage of Eric’s absence.
But walking away from her, knowing how upset she’d been, had torn him in two.
Chapter Fourteen
“Yo! Yo! Where’s your head today, man?”
“Sorry.” Gabe touched gloves with his sparring partner, whose head he’d nearly taken off. “My bad, man. I lost my cool.”
The other guy shrugged it off, but Sam wasn’t willing to let it go so easily.
“What’s the matter with you?” he asked, pulling Gabe aside.
Gabe didn’t know how to answer, and took his time removing his mouth guard. He focused his eyes on his gloves, until Sam slapped him hands down.
“Don’t avoid me, kid. Answer me. What’s the matter? I can’t have you coming to my gym and giving my guys brain damage, no matter how far back we go.”
“I’m sorry,” he muttered. What was it about Sam that made him feel like a little kid all over again? Some scared punk off the street.
“Sorry only goes so far.” He opened the door to his office, ushering Gabe inside. “Talk to me.”
Gabe sat down. It had been a mistake coming here, sparring, when he had so much going on inside him. A workout was one thing. A heavy bag couldn’t be hurt. He should have left it there, punched out his feelings and let them go. No, he’d decided to spar, instead.
“What’s happening in your head?”
Instead of a direct answer, Gabe asked a question of his own. “Why did you take me in?”
“What?”
“Why me? Why didn’t you let me go into the system?”
“It was what I did,” Sam said. “What I still do. Taking kids with anger inside them, and putting that anger to good use. Teaching them how to deal with it. It’s what somebody taught me, a long time ago. What do they call it? Paying it forward?” He snorted sarcastically.
“I think I’m still that kid sometimes,” Gabe muttered. “The one you pulled out of the system.”
“We’re all still that kid,” Sam said. He jerked a thumb at his Olympic medal. “You think I don’t look at that thing every single day and ask myself how a kid from the streets ended up on the podium, listening to his country’s anthem being played? You think I don’t relive that moment every time? And most of the time I think to myself, Nobody would have seen it coming. Nobody was in my corner except for my trainer. No family, nothing but a bunch of shaking heads and shaking fingers in my face. That was it. And I still think about that, all these years later. What would they think of me, now?”
“You don’t seem like you think you’re that kid,” Gabe pointed out.
“Most of the time, neither do you. Who started his own business from scratch? Who rubs elbows with billionaires now? Eating caviar and whatever fancy shit you people eat when you get together? A long way from standing in front of a judge, wouldn’t you say?”
“A long way,” he agreed. “I wish I felt that way now, is all.”
“That’s something you’ve gotta get right in your head. Because let me tell you something.” Sam leaned forward, looking Gabe in the eye. “I’m no poet, I don’t do philosophy, but I know that it doesn’t matter how much money you make. If you don’t feel like you’re worth it, it’ll never be enough. Why else do you think so many people get it all, then lose it all? Because they don’t feel like they deserve it.”
Sam’s words rocked Gabe to his core.
“I don’t want to lose what I have,” he said. And even as he said the words, he knew what he really meant. Not his job. Not his money.
Brianne. He didn’t want to lose Brianne.
“You shouldn’t. You’ve worked too damn hard for it.”
“I slept with my best friend’s fiancée.” He hadn’t intended to blurt it out, or to tell Sam at all. It just came out.
“Too much information, kid.” Sam held his hands up.
“You wanted to know what’s up with me, that’s it. A big part of it, anyway.”
Sam sighed, and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Where’s your best friend in all this?”
“He ran off. On their wedding day.”
“Then I guess they’re not engaged anymore are they?”
Gabe snorted, then realized Sam was serious.
Sam nodded. “He left. He forfeits. That’s it.”
“He left because of me. I didn’t know it, though.”
“Doesn’t matter. He left. End of story. You’re here, he’s not. I don’t see the problem. Maybe you’re only trying to make it a problem for yourself because…I don’t know. Because you don’t think you deserve her. Is that it?”
“Eric’s my best friend. It’s easy to say he forfeited but he wasn’t right in the head. Not with…what happened. And Brianne…she’s a different kind of person.”
“Bullshit. There’s only one kind of person. Your kind of person. It doesn’t matter where they come from. If they’re for you, they’re for you.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“You’re the only one trying to make your life so hard. It doesn’t have to be that way. I’ve seen you fight. You take what you think is yours. You don’t get in the ring and ask yourself whether you’re good enough to win. You just get in and you win because you know you can. You see the win as yours already, and you take what’s yours. It doesn’t have to be any harder than that with life. And just like in the ring, if you overthink it, you’re finished.”
“He’s going to come back. Fuck, I want him to come back.”
“So he comes back. You work it out. If you love her, fight for her. Just like you fought for everything else.
You deserve her just as much as you deserve everything you’ve fought for.” He stood, putting his hands on Gabe’s sweaty shoulders. “I’ve seen how far you’ve come, and if I was a sentimental person I’d tell you I was proud of you. Nobody sees you as that kid off the streets but you. It’s time to get rid of that shit, once and for all.”
Gabe grinned up at his mentor. “Thanks.”
“And I swear to God, you ring another guy’s bell like you just did when it’s not a serious match, I’ll kick your ass from here to the curb. I might only be a welterweight but I could still beat the shit outta you.”
“I don’t doubt it,” Gabe said.
Chapter Fifteen
“So I’m guessing glamping was a fucking disaster.”
“Charming as always, Evie,” Brianne said with a sigh.
“Your face looks a little puffy. Have you been crying?”
“Uhm, maybe I had an allergic reaction to something I touched in the woods. Maybe you should be worried about my health, instead of giving me the third degree. Ever think about that?”
“No, if you did, you’d be in the hospital or something. But let me clarify—I’m guessing the disaster has more to do with you and the guy you went glamping with.”
Brianne swallowed hard and blinked rapidly to hold back the sudden well of tears in her eyes. “Things didn’t go as planned. Okay? But can we leave it at that for now?”
“Bri—”
“Evie, I’m serious. Please! This contest takes place in two weeks. We have a lot of work to do, and almost no time to go it.”
For several seconds, Evie just stared at her, then nodded. “Okay, okay. I’ll let it go for now.”
“Okay, then let’s get to work,” Brianne said.
And that’s exactly what they did. Brianne jumped into the work feet first, knowing her friend would start asking questions again the moment they took a break.
She pulled out her phone, showing Evie the photos she’d snapped. “See, here’s the event site. Isn’t it gorgeous?”
Evie nodded emphatically, but Bri could still see the worry in her expression.
