Lord Cheston slowly released his grip on Andrew and turned to his daughter in disgust. “You wanted this?”
She looked him square in the eyes and shook her head. “Yes.”
“Then you are nothing but a harlot! You shame your family!”
Angela’s face turned to stone and then Andrew began to speak.
“Sir, I am prepared to do my duty and marry her to preserve her honor. Your family’s honor.”
“Honor?” Lord Cheston cackled. “Apparently she has no honor! And as for you marrying her, that would just bring us shame! You are a servant. You are nothing! Nothing, you hear me? No, I will take care of this myself.”
Lord Cheston grabbed Angela’s shoulders and began to shake her. “Now you listen to me, you are dead! You hear that? Dead to me and to this family. I will see you married off in order to preserve the honor of our family but there is nothing to be done for your honor.” He paused a moment. “I will contact the Duke. I am sure that he will still marry you, even after you have declared yourself a harlot. Now go! Pack your things and get out of my house! You will leave tonight with your Aunt until I have the marriage contract worked out. I will send a letter when it is all set. And as for you,” Lord Cheston now turned his gaze to Andrew. “You will leave my house as well. I should have you killed but you’re not worth my time. Rather you live and be shamed!”
With that Lord Cheston turned and left Angela’s life forever while the women reluctantly followed him. Andrew took one last long look at Angela and then he left the room himself to figure out his new life.
***
Before leaving, Angela had managed to sneak several glasses of wine, and it was for this reason that she was able to pass the entire carriage ride away in sleep. They arrived early the next morning and even though she had slept for nearly the entire trip there, Angela soon found herself sound asleep in her new room. Again time passed her by, and for the second time in a day she found herself unaware of just how rapidly hours were moving past.
Angela did not know how long she had slept, it could have been mere hours but at the same time a matter of days, but when she finally opened her eyes it was dark outside and Mary was sitting in a chair by her bed.
“So,” Mary began without skipping a beat. “What was it like?”
Angela groaned and rolled over. “What was what like?”
“Making love!”
Angela furrowed her brow and seeing the confusion Mary chose a more straightforward word. “Sex! What was it like?”
“Mary! Exactly what do you know about sex?” Angela whispered.
Mary gave her cousin a smug look. “Obviously not as much as you do!”
This got Angela’s attention and she sat up and stretched as she retorted, “We did not ‘make love’!” Well, I don’t think we did anyway but I don’t exactly know what it was.”
Suddenly Mary seemed less interested and she leaned back to a more relaxed stance in the chair. “Oh. So what we saw. That was all was it?”
Angela blushed. “Umm, well, yes.”
The look of fading interest became disappointment as Mary responded. “Well then no. You did not ‘make love.’”
Angela did not say a word but as usual Mary knew exactly what her best friend was thinking. “Greg told me. Who else? Anyway, what you were doing was most definitely not it!” She paused for a moment as if unsure whether to continue but decided to do so anyway. “Sooooo how was that? Whatever you were doing. You sure looked like you were enjoying it!”
“I—it was…nice!”
“Nice?” Mary let out a sharp chuckle. “It sure looked like more than ‘nice’ to me!”
In a sudden urgency, Angela let her feelings spill out. “Oh Mary it was! It was so much more than nice! I don’t think I even know a word to describe what it was. It—it was simply the best feeling I have ever had in my entire life!” She threw herself back down on the bed. “Oh Mary! If only you knew!”
With a wink, Mary responded, “I never said I didn’t…. I just said I didn’t know what it was called.”
And the friends were sent into a laughing fit.
When Mary was finally able to calm her body she hugged her friend and assured her that all would turn out well in the end. It was then that she left Angela alone…or so it seemed. Restlessly, Angela walked over to the window seat and sat down staring absently into the night sky. It was only hours before that she had been so sure of her path in life. She had been free, finally, and her future was her own to create. But then in an instant it had all come crashing down and as before, the world and its treasures were closed off to her. Her path, for now, was unclear and she cursed herself at the realization. Freedom had been hers, she had felt it in a way that she had never been able to comprehend before but now her world had fallen and her life was changed forever. She did not know where to go from here or what her next move should be. She was shackled and lost all at the same time. And then she saw something, or rather someone riding towards the house on a horse.
Her horse.
The rider looked up at the windows of the house and scanned them intently until in sudden disbelief his eyes rested upon her. It was in this moment that she realized that the rider was Andrew and she suddenly felt lightheaded. What was he doing here? Without a second thought she threw open the window and leaned out but before she could say anything he was already speaking.
“Your father sent word for the Duke of Corning this morning. He is set to arrive within a few days to discuss your situation. Your father was very determined to have this matter taken care of as quickly as possible… He may soon have a contract drawn up.”
“And what exactly do you suggest I do about it?”
Andrew gazed at her intently. “Marry me.”
“But I can’t! I would never be allowed!” She wanted to laugh out loud at the absurdity of his request but instead it was Andrew who did the laughing.
“Are you telling me that after what happened you care about what you are ‘allowed’ to do? That woman from last night didn’t seem to care about what anyone told her…”
She took in one long breath as she tried to reconcile herself with the events of the past day. “I can’t marry you…. I just can’t!”
Angela was surprised to see a shadow of pain in his eyes but he didn’t push the issue, and before turning to ride away he just responded, “Suit yourself. I’ll be back in one hour if you change your mind…. This is the last chance you know. Contract or not, I doubt anyone will really care to follow if we leave now…”
And then suddenly Angela was running. It was an instantaneous decision with very little reason but for some reason she had chosen it. Her feet (or was it her heart?) were leading her now and nothing in the world mattered now but that she reach her destination. But where was her destination exactly? Was it with Andrew, or just anywhere that would take her away from the Duke? She did not know exactly but the end result was the same and so she pushed herself forward all the same. She was at the front door before she knew it and as she threw it open she heard her own voice call, “Wait,” and then, in the next instant she was sitting in front of Andrew on the horse, his arms around her waist to stabilize her.
This was the most insane thing she had ever done in her life but at the same time it made the most sense. For one, as she had already established, she would not have to marry the Duke. Even if a marriage contract had been drawn up, and she was sure that it had been, it would be too late by the time anyone found them. By then she would already be married to Andrew and so contract or not, there was nothing that anyone would be able to do about it. And then, on the other hand, there was the happiness factor. Now that her mind was more settled she knew that she did not love Andrew and that she never would. But he had saved her life, more than once, and in more ways than one. For that she would be happy with him.
And that was enough for her.
Part Two
Chapter Ten
The universal questions of the world: Who am I an
d what am I doing here?
At some point in every person’s life these questions filter through the mind. Who is this person standing here making these decisions? This is not me. I do not recognize who I see in the mirror. How did my life come to this? What did I do? What didn’t I do? Why?
Why?
For Angela this moment was now. Here she was, the daughter of a Baron, standing next to a servant in a small Gretna church about to say her wedding vows. How the hell had she ended up here?
Well of course she knew the facts of the situation. She had gotten drunk, groped the Duke, declared her independence, nearly had sex with Andrew, gotten caught, and then run away with him to avoid marriage to the Duke. Wow. That was really quite a story. If it had happened to someone else she wouldn’t have believed it, but it had happened to her and so here she was about to marry Andrew.
Yes, she knew the facts but she didn’t know the bigger picture. The way she had acted was not her. She had never done anything like this in her entire life before but she had done it now and her life was changed forever. Now she was even more confused about her “divine” purpose as the Bennett woman. Who was she really and what was she doing here really? Not the facts but the deep down and gritty, intimate, philosophical answer. But she didn’t have time to finish her thoughts. It was her turn now.
She took a deep breath and said the words, “I will.”
***
There had been many times in his life when Andrew should have been scared. He had been a bond servant most of his life. He had lived on the streets. He had worked odd jobs and lived day to day. He had lied and he had stolen to stay alive and there had been a few times he had come close to taking a life. Of course there had also been the time when he had been caught in bed with a Baron’s daughter and now he had just run away and eloped with her, but none of that had really gotten to him. He had lived a hard life and so he had a tough skin. In all honesty he had never truly been scared until right now.
He had just gotten married for God’s sake and even that was not as frightening as the thought of what was to come. No, he was not afraid of any repercussions that might befall him for having eloped with the daughter of a Baron. He was quite sure actually that considering what had happened between Angela and her family there may never be any consequences. What Andrew was really and truly scared about was tonight; his wedding night.
He was not scared about the act itself. In his younger days he had become quite familiar with the deed and if he did say so himself, he was considerably good at it! But those rakish days were over now. They had actually ended long before he had ever even met Angela. He was not afraid that he was out of practice. It was not one of those things that he thought you could actually forget how to do, and besides, even if he had forgotten, even if he was not so confident in his ability, none of it would matter because his new wife was innocent and would not know the difference one way or another. She had no expectations of what a man and woman should be like together. Her mother or another trusted female relative had not come to her the night before her wedding and given her the “marriage talk” that all respectable young women are known to get. In fact, Andrew was unsure if his new wife had any conceivable notation of what was to come and what was expected. Her horrible encounter with the Duke flashed through his mind and he cringed knowing that this had been her first experience with a man.
And for this reason and this reason alone, for the first time in his entire life, Andrew Wilson was scared shitless.
How was he to approach a situation like this? Part of him just wanted to pretend that she did know what to expect and so he would just lay her on the bed and go to it. He had done it before to other women but he could not do it now. Not to this woman. Not to his wife. Not to his Angela.
His wife. By God he was a married man! That fact alone should have been enough to scare him but for some reason it didn’t. He had made this decision while in full capacity of his mind. It was the right thing for her… and he had a strange feeling that it was the right thing for him as well.
But enough of that now. He would have the rest of his life to ponder his marriage but only tonight would ever been his marriage night. They had passed by several suitable places where they could have spent the night but Andrew had still been uncertain about how to deal with his wedding night dilemma. He couldn’t wait anymore. For one thing, they had been riding on horseback for a few hours now and Andrew was getting sore. (He was sure that Angela was sore as well but God bless her, she hadn’t complained!) And for another thing, God help him, he wanted her. Despite the fear that he felt, deep down inside he had been fighting the urge to just get off the horse and tussle her right there in the fragrant flowers that peppered the grass. She was his wife after all. He had every right in the world to be intimate with his wife. He had every right in the world to want to be intimate with his wife!
Didn’t he?
Well yes on the face of it that was his right as a husband in a normal and conventional marriage, but this really was not a normal and conventional marriage. It had not been arranged by their families and they had not eloped because of undying love. When it came right down to it he had married her because he felt it was his duty after the situation he helped her get into and as far as he was concerned she had only married him to save herself from a life of inevitable horror with the Duke. So what Andrew was now wondering was if he really did have the right to feel this way. If he really did have the right to want his wife… especially now that he had convinced himself that she had no idea what was expected of her. Especially now that he had convinced himself that this really was just a marriage of convenience.
But even in marriages of convenience the woman was expected to produce an heir.
Oh well never mind that. Andrew was not anyone important and he did not require an heir. So here he was again back to where he had started; confused and scared out of his mind.
And then suddenly Angela spoke up. “Please, let’s stop at this inn. I’m hungry and tired.” She paused and then nervously added, “And we have just been married after all.”
Andrew opened his mouth slightly. Perhaps her mother had talked to her after all knowing that the day was soon to come. He didn’t know whether to jump for joy or scream but he wasn’t going to take this for granted.
Suddenly everything became clear!
Yes, they had just been married after all!
***
This inn was certainly not the type of place he imagined a man should take a respectable woman on her wedding night, but it would have to do. They were both sore and tired and this was, according to the innkeeper, the only inn until the next town which was a day’s ride away.
Andrew’s hands shook as he gave his few meager pennies to pay for the room and accepted the large rusty key that would open the door. Andrew gently took his wife by the hand and hurried, though not too eagerly, upstairs. The key squeaked as it unlocked the door and the door hinges squeaked even louder as it swung open. The newlyweds walked inside and shut the door. The décor of the room was not as terrible as Andrew had expected. It certainly was not the worst he had seen in his day but it was not the best either. As eager as he was to make this marriage official and as excited as he was by Angela’s hint that she actually did have some idea of what was supposed to happen tonight, he was now second guessing himself. He wanted her. He wanted her bad. But she deserved better than this. He wanted to give her better than this… That last thought set him scared again.
But it was Angela who made the decision. No sooner had he shut the door than she was on him and all around him. He was somewhat shocked but he accepted her invitation and soon he was wrapped around her as well. She pressed her lips firmly to his and began to move them in a fierce rhythm, biting lightly on his bottom lip and flicking her tongue softly at its corners. His insides turned to warm butter and he gasped in confusion. He was the one who melted women with his touch, not the other way around! This was such a strange change of pace that he began to
wonder exactly what was going on inside of him and exactly what his feelings were for his wife. He was beginning to have an inkling that his feelings for Angela were a bit more complicated than he thought. And that made him wonder exactly what was going on inside her mind right now. Was she feeling this same surge of pleasure that went much deeper than physical intimacy?
And then she bit his lip again and he stopped thinking all together. His hands roamed her body, caressing the gentle curves of her breasts, her narrow waist and supple flared hips, and then at last the round firmness of her bottom. Her hands were roaming too, leaving a trail of fire on every place they touched. He clutched her body closer and then closer still. He brushed his lips against hers and then began to explore the other beautiful and delicate places of her body. First he kissed her chin and her neck and then he slowly trailed his tongue along her jaw line. He moved his mouth up to her cheek and placed his lips delicately upon it but what he found surprised him. Her cheek was wet and salty. She tasted of tears.
She was crying.
Andrew was suddenly drawn out of the moment and overwhelmed by a desire to comfort her. In all his thoughts about fears he had forgotten to think about hers!
“Angela, what’s wrong?”
“Oh it’s—it’s nothing…”
The tears were now flowing down her beautiful face and his heart began to break.
“But you’re crying! Something must be wrong… Is it this? Is it what we’re doing? If you’re scared that’s fine. If I must admit it I’m scared as well!”
She looked up at him and though still crying, she managed to laugh once. “No, no, of course not. Was it not just a day ago when I offered myself to you? It’s not this. I give you my word.”
Andrew was not convinced. “You can be honest with me Angela. I have the feeling that mothers do not always tell their daughters everything that they should know before they get married and…”
Angela looked confused. “Of course my mother didn’t talk to me about wedding nights! She didn’t know I was getting married. I didn’t know I was getting married!”
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