“No, I still like Elaina. She got mad when Isaac and I got in a fight.”
“You’re definitely my nephew,” David muttered. “Sorry to tell you this, but you’re in for a lifetime of girl troubles if you take after me. So don’t, okay?”
“Is Ms. MacDonald your girlfriend?” Rhett asked as David lowered him to the bed.
“I don’t know,” David answered honestly. “I think I messed it up.”
“By fighting?”
“Sort of,” David admitted.
He pulled the sheet around the boy and leaned in to drop a kiss on Rhett’s forehead.
“Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?”
The nightlight plugged into an outlet on the far wall cast a soft glow across the room. Rhett looked so small and innocent tucked into bed, and it killed David how much the boy had seen and experienced during his young life. Childhood was supposed to be about building forts and sneaking an extra cookie after dinner, not having a mother taken to rehab and a friend stabbed on a busy street.
When bad things had happened to David as a kid, he’d had Jenna to lean on. He couldn’t even count the number of nights he’d dragged his pillow and blanket into her tiny room and slept on the floor next to her bed so neither of them had to be alone.
But even though he might not be the world’s best role model, David was the person Rhett had as his own.
He toed off his boots, then drew back the covers. “Scoot over,” he told the boy, and got into the bed. His feet hung over the edge and Rhett had left him only a small corner of the pillow, but when the boy reached out in the dark and wrapped his small hand around David’s larger one, there was no place in the world David would have rather been.
He closed his eyes and tried to control the emotions pummeling him from every angle. In the dark, listening to Rhett’s steady breathing, it was difficult to tamp down the regret and pain coursing through him at the knowledge that he’d very likely lost Erin.
Maybe he could find some stupid late-night movie on TV and try to forget—or at least ignore—the mess he’d made. His plan was to leave as soon as Rhett fell back to sleep, but the next time he opened his eyes, light streamed through the curtains.
“You snore,” Rhett told him matter-of-factly.
David blinked at the boy, whose face was directly in front of his on the pillow. “I don’t snore,” he said, his voice rough. How had he managed to sleep the whole night in this tiny bed? “And you kicked me.”
Rhett grinned. “I know. Mommy says I sleep like a starfish.”
“You remember she’s coming back in a week, right?”
“She said we can move into our new house.”
“Yep.” David pulled in a deep breath. He’d finally convinced Jenna to let him help her with rent on a cozy duplex on the south end of town. The three-bedroom house had a small fenced yard in the back and was in a neighborhood of young families, stable professionals and a few older couples who had been there for decades.
Angela was going to stay with them until Jenna was ready to handle life on her own again. They had a lot of work to do to keep his sister on the right path, and David hoped a decent rental house was a good first step. At least it was something he could control, unlike everything else in his life.
“There’s a yard and a park at the end of the block,” he told Rhett. “The last time I drove by I saw kids playing soccer on one of the fields.”
Rhett scrunched up his nose. “I’m not good at soccer.”
“Says who?”
The boy shrugged. “I never played.”
“Well, you can learn.” David sat up and stretched his legs. His back ached and there was a kink in his neck, but it was worth it because Rhett seemed happy. “We’ll buy a ball today.”
“You play baseball.”
“I can play soccer, too.” He moved to the edge of the bed. “At least I played when I was your age. I must remember something.”
Rhett looked unconvinced. “That was a long time ago.”
“Thanks for the reminder.” David grabbed his phone from where he’d left it on the dresser. Several texts had come through overnight, but the one that made his heart lighten was from Cole. He turned back to Rhett. “Elaina made it through surgery and is resting now.”
“She’s okay?”
“She’s going to be fine.”
“We can get her a purple soccer ball,” Rhett announced as he placed Ruffie on top of the pillow. “Me and her can both learn to play.”
“She and I,” David said automatically, then swallowed. He was correcting the boy’s grammar like a parent would do.
“I thought I heard voices,” his mother said from the doorway.
Rhett pointed at David. “We had a sleepover.”
A smile tugged at the corner of Angela’s mouth. “Your Uncle David snores.”
Rhett laughed. “I told you so,” he said to David.
David bent and gathered the boy in his arms, lifting him high in the air then pretending to let go before catching him again. “I’ll teach you to make fun of me.”
Rhett squirmed and giggled and finally shouted, “I got to pee.”
David immediately set him on the ground. “Well played, buddy.”
“Go to the bathroom and get dressed,” Angela told the boy. “I’m going to take you and your uncle out to breakfast.”
“Pancakes,” Rhett yelled, then grabbed a wad of clothes from the floor and ran toward the bathroom.
“Clean clothes,” Angela called after him.
David smiled. “I don’t think I cared about clean clothes until—”
“You cared about girls,” his mother supplied.
“True enough.” He massaged a hand along the back of his neck and turned to make Rhett’s bed. “I can’t believe I slept the night in here.”
“You’ll be glad to get us out of your hair when Jenna comes back.”
“It hasn’t been so bad,” he said, surprised to find he meant the words. “But living above the bar isn’t the best for a five-year-old boy.”
“You’ve taken good care of him,” his mother said gently.
David’s chest pinched as he thought of the price an innocent girl had paid for him trying to protect his nephew.
He turned to find that his mother had stepped farther into the room. “Last night wasn’t your fault.”
“She’s going to be okay,” David said, not addressing her comment directly. “She made it out of surgery.”
Angela nodded. “Still doesn’t make it your fault.”
“I wanted to hurt Joel Martin.” He swallowed to stave off the anger that rose in his throat at the thought of the man. “I purposely messed with his life to get back at him for giving Jenna the drugs.”
“She took them,” Angela said. “Your sister has to work out her demons on her own, David.”
“Demons that are there because I didn’t protect her,” he countered, then added softly, “Because I didn’t protect either of you.”
Tears shone in his mother’s pale blue eyes, still so striking after all these years. “How do you think I feel? I was the one who trusted that creep around my daughter. I let him into my home and—”
“You didn’t know.”
“I should have.” She gave a humorless laugh. “Jenna knew. She hated him from the start.”
“You did the best you could at the time.”
“How is it you can forgive me but not yourself?”
Her voice was like a caress, the gentle motherly tone he’d always wanted to hear when he’d been a kid. The way he heard Jenna talk to Rhett. For all of his sister’s problems, she loved her son. David hoped for all their sakes it would be enough to help her vanquish her issues once and for all.
But he couldn’t re
lease the belief that he’d failed his sister and his mother. Just like he’d failed Erin last night. No matter what his intention had been, the outcome was what mattered.
“I’m going to take a quick shower,” he told his mother without answering her question.
He started to walk past her, but she threw her arms around his waist and hugged him tight. “You’re a good man, David. I love you.”
Emotion rushed through him like a tidal wave, turning him into the vulnerable boy he’d been so many years ago. He couldn’t remember ever hearing his mother say she loved him, and so he’d convinced himself he didn’t need the words.
One more delusion shattered.
He hugged her back and whispered, “I love you, too,” then broke free of the embrace and left the room. If he allowed himself to feel anything, there was a good chance he’d have to feel everything.
And an even better chance he’d never recover.
Chapter Sixteen
A week after the accident, Erin parked her car outside the Crosses’ two-story house in a newer subdivision west of Crimson. She opened the back of her car and pulled out gifts from the staff and students at Crimson Elementary that she’d offered to bring to the family.
Elaina had been released from the hospital the previous afternoon but still had a few more days of rest at home before she could return to school.
Erin had canceled Kidzone for the week, and quite possibly for good. She couldn’t bear the idea that Elaina had been injured because Erin had angered a parent and he’d come looking for revenge.
What if she couldn’t keep them safe? There were district-sponsored security measures in place at school, but the responsibility for her students during the after-school program was completely hers.
She wanted to believe she could handle anything, but Friday night’s tragedy had rocked her confidence to its core. Her mother had always told her to be satisfied with good enough, but Erin hadn’t listened. She’d wanted more from life—to be more.
But not at the cost of a child’s life.
She had two big boxes filled with stuffed animals and games plus several trays of meals to deliver. Instead of making two trips, she piled everything into her arms, trying to distribute the weight as best she could. A few steps up the front walk she realized her mistake. One of the boxes began to teeter, and she tried to adjust her hold so everything would fall back into balance.
Instead, the lasagna she’d placed on top of her load started to slide and would have splattered to the ground if a set of strong hands hadn’t stopped it.
“Whoa, there,” David said against her ear, his arms coming around her to steady the pile. “You may have bitten off more than you can chew with this one, darlin’.”
Erin gritted her teeth. Didn’t that just about sum up her life at the moment?
“I’ve got it under control,” she said, even though it was obvious she didn’t have anything under control.
“I know you do,” he agreed, “but can I help anyway?”
She wanted to turn down his offer, to prove that she could handle this one tiny task. But a homemade lasagna would inevitably end up all over the concrete.
“Thanks,” she muttered as he took three boxes off her pile.
“We got Elaina a purple soccer ball,” Rhett said as he skipped up the walkway next to her. “’Cause Uncle David is going to teach her like he teached me.”
“He taught you,” Erin corrected with a smile. “I saw you playing at recess today.”
“I made a goal.” He held up an oversize gift bag. “I bringed her a pink baseball bat, too, so we can learn to play baseball.”
“Brought,” both Erin and David said at the same time. One small word, yet Erin felt the connection between them zing to life and did her best to ignore it.
David had made his choice by not believing in her, and she’d made hers as a result. There was no going back now.
She knocked to announce their arrival, then they walked into the house together. Lane toddled down the hall toward them, followed by Grant.
“Whett, Whett, Whett,” the boy called.
“I don’t know who’s more excited for your visit,” Grant told Rhett. “Elaina or her brother.” He glanced at Erin. “Thanks for bringing all of Elaina’s stuff. Did you guys come together?”
“No.” Erin and David answered simultaneously once more, and Erin felt a blush creep up her cheeks.
Grant looked between them with raised eyebrows. “Okay, then. Elaina’s on the couch in the family room,” he said to Rhett. “Lane can lead you back there.”
“Come on,” Lane shouted at the top of his lungs, because he seemed to have no volume control. Rhett followed the boy, leaving Erin standing with David and Grant in the small foyer.
“I’m going to put everything in the kitchen,” she said, feeling suddenly self-conscious. She’d spent a lot of time at the hospital with Melody but hadn’t talked to Grant since the night Elaina was hurt. Not since he’d watched Erin let his daughter run past the man holding a knife.
One glance at David showed he looked as uncomfortable as she felt. Instead of taking solace in that, Erin wanted to reach out and comfort him.
“I have something to say to both of you.” Grant moved to block her way down the narrow hall.
“You don’t need to do this.” David shifted slightly to stand between her and Grant, as if shielding her from whatever the stoic deputy might tell them.
“I don’t blame either of you for Elaina’s injury,” he said, ignoring David. “And it’s obvious you each blame yourself or each other. I can’t tell which it is, but I want you to stop.”
“I should never have let go of her,” Erin blurted, fresh tears clogging her throat. She’d already cried so much since Friday night but her heart was a bottomless reservoir of guilt.
“No one would have been in that situation if I hadn’t antagonized Martin,” David said, more to her than Grant. “If anyone is at fault—”
“Someone is at fault.” Grant’s voice was firm. “Joel Martin. We’re going to make sure he pays for what he did to my little girl. But the blame is solely his, and I want you both to understand that. I’ve had the worst couple of days of my life and I’m not going to stand here and argue. Do I make myself clear?”
Grant might not be in uniform at the moment, but he still commanded respect. Erin knew it was pointless to argue with him.
“Thank you,” she whispered. Trying to discreetly wipe her eyes on her sleeve, she moved past him to the kitchen.
As she placed the packages on the counter, she felt David at her side.
“Listen to Grant,” he said, setting the boxes he carried next to hers.
“I could tell you the same thing.”
“But you won’t,” he countered, “because we both know I set off that guy. I only wanted to—”
“Don’t say ‘protect me.’” Fists clenched at her sides, Erin turned to him. “I can’t do this with you again, David.”
His lips pressed together in a firm line, but he nodded. “When are you going to reopen the program?”
The question caught her off guard.
“Rhett keeps asking,” he added. “I guess he’s been working on something for Jenna when she comes back.”
Erin smiled even as a band of emotion tightened around her chest. “It’s an adventure book—pictures of all the things he wants them to do together. He’s been putting a lot of time into it.”
“He’s worried about finishing
before she returns.”
There were so many things unfinished right now. Erin hated letting go of Kidzone, but panic pounded through her every time she thought of Joel Martin and what could have happened if he’d chosen to confront her during her program hours at the community center. “I’ll bring it to school, and he can work on it there.”
“You didn’t answer the question,” he said softly.
“I’m a kindergarten teacher.” She cleared her throat when her voice cracked. “You said it yourself. I’m not a social worker or someone trained to work with families in crisis. I had an idea for a way to help but...”
“It was a great idea.” He leaned in so they were at eye level. “It still is.”
“Maybe Olivia can find a person better qualified—”
“Kidzone belongs to you.”
Her heart squeezed at the tenderness in his tone. She’d wanted the program to be hers, just like she’d wanted to believe David belonged to her. But in the last few days she’d never felt more alone.
“I’ve got to go,” she whispered, turning from him. It was too hard to pretend she was fine when her heart wouldn’t stop breaking. “Tell Melody I’ll talk to her later.”
“Erin,” he called as she hurried away, but she didn’t stop. Couldn’t stop. Not when she might crumble into a million sad pieces if she did.
* * *
“You turn your foot just a little,” Rhett shouted, “then look up and kick!”
Elaina Cross clapped as Rhett shot the soccer ball toward the goal David had set up on the far end of the backyard. She sat bundled up on a patio chair watching Rhett teach Lane how to kick the ball. Both boys ran across the yard, Rhett slowing his pace to match the toddler’s. David’s stomach tightened when Lane stumbled, but Rhett took the boy’s hand and they continued together.
“He’s sweet with Lane,” Melody said gently.
“Yeah,” David agreed, pride creeping into his tone. “He’s a good kid. Thanks for letting him visit Elaina.”
Romancing the Wallflower Page 18
