by Alexie Aaron
“I’m sorry I yelled at you. It’s just, you could have told me,” Ted explained.
“When? When have we had time to get to know each other? You wanted me. Well, you got me. Why the fuck didn’t you get to know me better first? Maybe you would have realized that I had a past, and then you wouldn’t have called me Lobo’s what when I was Lobo’s wife. I loved him.” Mia got up. She walked over and called out, “Cid, I have to leave, and I can’t leave Ted alone. Burt’s rules.”
“Cid, go. You too, Mike. Mia and I have to talk this out,” Ted said, holding on to Mia.
Ted pulled her back and shut the door. He got on his knees and hugged her. “I’m sorry.”
Mia took off his hat and moved her hand through his hair. “I locked all of this away, but the storm brought it back. The demons used the lightning to cross over. I had buried it so deep that I didn’t know why the lightning bothered me so much. I thought it was the Wanderers.”
Ted got up. “I was shocked when I saw your fingers fly over the keyboard. It was like watching a stranger. Were you playing with me when I was trying to teach you the PEEPs systems?”
“No, just a bit rusty.”
“The reason you didn’t have a computer…”
“I feared they would find me.”
“Lobo is a legend.”
“He would have liked that. He was just a nerdy virgin who took care of this freaky virgin, and after a few months, we ended up in bed. Together, we tried to heal each other. We almost got there.”
“I get the feeling that there’s more, Mia.”
“There is one last relationship you don’t know about. I’ll tell you about it once we have rescued Audrey. I can’t open that door and step into that dark pit right now. It would kill me.”
“I understand, and I’m sorry. We should have taken our time and got to know each other more, but I was so afraid of losing you.”
“You don’t marry a person because you fear losing them. I married you because I wanted to share the rest of my life with you, have children and grow old together. Ted, I love you. I’m not perfect, and I let life distract me at times, but I’ve never stopped loving you. Lobo’s death started the dark times in my life. I pulled out of that hell and locked away everything that would remind me of it. I’m sorry if you consider this a deal breaker.”
“No, Mia, no. I’m not sure how I feel. I think I initially thought that you played me for a fool. Lobo and their crew were notorious. When the gatekeeper identified you, I was shocked.”
“I have a feeling you thought I was a goody two-shoes.”
“Well, yes.”
“Where did you guys hang out, biker bars?”
“You have angel wings,” he argued.
“Demons were angels once,” Mia countered.
“Oh. That’s right.”
“Here’s the deal. Let’s get through this. Rescue the girl, right the world, and then I will tell you the rest. And if you decide to call it quits after that, I won’t fight you.”
“Mia, look at me.”
She did.
“I love you with my heart and soul. Whatever you have to tell me, we’ll get through it together. Unless you’re my long lost sister, and then I’m going to shoot myself. Other than that… We’ll work together. I want to be married to you. I want to raise our son together and have more babies when it’s time. We survived Murphy, Beth, and a dragon. I think we have quite a good track record, Mia.”
“I’m sorry you had to find out here in front of Cid with Mike looming over us,” Mia said. “I’m not sure what Mike’s motivation was. I’m angry that I wasn’t given the chance to sit down and explain about my memory vault. I thought we could get through this investigation, get away from the others for a while, and that’s when I was going to tell you about those lost years.”
Ted pulled her towards him. “Mia, it doesn’t matter. I love you, good girl or bad girl, nerd or nympho. You are my world. Forgive me for reacting like a child. I have a lot of growing up to do.”
“Don’t,” Mia said. “I love you, Teddy Bear, just as you are. You’ve accepted me, feathers and all. That’s pretty damn special in my eyes.”
“May I kiss you?” he asked.
“Yes,” Mia said, looking up at him.
“After I kiss you, can we make love again?”
Mia giggled.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
Cid blushed. He walked back into the cabin, and three sets of eyes looked at him. “They’ve stopped yelling at each other.”
“Good because I wasn’t looking forward to moving to France,” Mike said.
“That you are going to have to explain,” Burt said.
“No I don’t.” Mike smiled to himself.
“I have a question. Do you guys view Mia as a goody two-shoes?” Cid asked.
“I used to,” Mike admitted.
“She’s anything but,” Burt said. “When we met, Cid, she was like an outlaw who had been hiding out. I always thought of her as dangerous. Sure, her heart is in the right place, and she is a sister of the light and not of the darkness, but remember, Mia Cooper hung around with a ghost who carried an axe. She had a closet full of skeletons and made love like a harem queen. God, she was wonderful.”
Tom looked over at Cid and felt sorry for him. He was stuck in the unenviable position of being Ted’s friend and hearing, for the first time, the truth about someone he kind of worshiped.
“Cid, Mia’s always been two people. The person she is, and the one she wants to be,” Tom explained. “Personally, whatever happened to her after high school is her business, but it did bring her back to us. And I thank my lucky stars it did.”
Chapter Eight
Ted and Mia arrived back, and she went right into the bathroom without saying a word.
“So if you’re done exploiting my reading partner…” Mike said, looking over at Ted who was standing in the doorway staring at him.
“Yes?”
“I have three graveyards you and Tom or Cid need to check out. You’re going to be looking for the grave of a Jerry Keys. I think he’s the teen who snatched Audrey. I’d send Mia, but she doesn’t do too well in boneyards,” Mike said.
“We’ll have to wait until first light.”
“I agree. I was just putting in a request. I have to get some sleep, but I was waiting for Mia.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“She’s my partner. One works while the other sleeps.”
“Gotcha. I think we may switch things up.”
“Why?” Mike asked.
“Because we had an argument and…”
“Imagine my surprise when you couldn’t fuck her into submission.”
Ted launched himself at Mike.
Mia came out of the bathroom to find Ted on top of Mike, pounding on him. She pulled Ted off of Mike who wasn’t defending himself. Tom came running in, and he helped Mike off the floor.
Mia walked into the kitchen and returned with a bag of ice. She handed it to Dupree. “Why did you have to poke the bear, Dupree?” She cleaned up his face and examined his nose. She sighed. “Come on. We’re going to the hospital. She turned to her husband, poked him in the chest and said, “You grow up.” She helped Mike into his coat.
“I’ll take him, Mia,” Burt said.
“No, my husband broke Mike’s nose. I’m going to make sure an expert fixes it. When I get back in the morning, I want good intel because I’m going into that fog and bringing Audrey, Murphy and Whit’s PERT out,” she said.
“Mia, I’m sorry,” Ted said, flexing his hand.
“No, you’re not. But it wasn’t Mike you were punching, was it?”
Mia and Mike walked out to the car. Cid stood there, torn. He ran over and helped Mia get Mike into the car.
“He’s not himself,” Cid said.
“Isn’t he?” Mia asked. “I’m not giving up on him, Cid. I love him. It’s just, I’m not sure me loving him is enough for him anymore.”
&nb
sp; “Where are we going?” Mike asked.
Mia raised a finger and dialed her phone. “Gerald, Mia Martin. I need the best plastic surgeon you know of. Yes, yes, that will be fine. Mike Dupree. He’s got multiple facial contusions and a broken nose. My husband. Yes, long story. I’ll be in town in six hours. Thank you.”
“Mia, I can’t let you do this. Shem is going to exploit you royally now you have wings.”
“It’s my choice. Ted wasn’t hitting you, Mike.”
“It felt like it was me.”
“It was Lobo. I keep forgetting my husband has the maturity of a thirteen year old at times. Why didn’t you defend yourself? You could have got a little of your own back.”
“I kind of felt like I deserved it.”
“Really?”
“I said something nasty,” he admitted.
“I imagine so.”
“So are things kind of fucked up between you?”
“It’s a work in progress,” Mia said.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“I think you really love the guy.”
“I do.”
“So what’s wrong?”
“The Dark Web thing didn’t help, but he was primed when we got here.”
“It was going to come out.”
“Tell me, Mike, you didn’t need any of those papers without the redaction, did you?”
“It helped.”
“You wanted me out of the closet, didn’t you?”
“Yes. It isn’t healthy keeping secrets.”
“So you choose now, when we’re worried about Audrey, and Murphy is gone?”
“Yes, not my best timing, I’ll admit.”
“You evil son of a Glenda.”
“Mia, I’m jealous,” Mike blurted out.
“Of?”
“Ted, Burt, and that asshole Whitney.”
“Because…”
“You made love to them. You, with that beautiful body and sexual appetite, put silly smiles on their faces. Burt called you a harem queen. Ted’s acne went away, and Whit?”
“Was a lousy lover,” Mia filled in. “Are you and Ted worried about Whit?”
“No, yes, I don’t know.”
“Okay, here’s the story as I lived it. I just spent a day alone with you. At any time you could have tried to have me. I probably wouldn’t even have punched you in the nose, but no, you were a gentleman, and I appreciate it. I was able to let my guard down and be myself. But when I’m here trying to rescue our friends, you lay me out on the railroad tracks and let Ted the train run over me. He’s running on what-ifs with visions of Whitney in his head.”
“That sounds accurate. Maybe I should grow a Snidely mustache.”
“No, on you it would look cute,” Mia said and laughed.
“Why are you laughing?”
“It sure beats crying. Listen to me and listen well. I’ve only been married once. I would like to only be married once. I will not break my vows with you, Angelo, assorted demons, or anyone else. Don’t fuck around with my marriage or I’ll cut you, Dupree, right where you get the most action.”
“Ouch.”
~
Ted was banging away on something in the command truck. Cid wasn’t sure what he was building, but he was too afraid to ask. Mia was able to get through on the phone and let Burt know she would be flying back, so not to shoot her if she lands on the cabin. Mike was undergoing an operation that was going to cost Mia two favors. She didn’t want to talk to Ted. She said she would do it when she got back.
Cid heard her before she landed. He ran over and grabbed her off the ground while putting his hand over her mouth. He dragged her away from the truck.
“It’s a hell of a Viking courtship, but I’m going to have to decline, Cid,” Mia said when he released her.
“I heard what Mike said to make Ted punch him.”
“Go on…”
“Ted told him he wanted to switch things up because you were still mad at him.”
“And…”
“Mike said, ‘Imagine my surprise when you couldn’t fuck her into submission.’”
“That would do it,” Mia said frowning. “You know, it may have been Mike starting the fight, but Ted wasn’t punching him per se.”
“It was Whitney or that Lobo guy,” Cid said.
“I kind of thought that too. But, Cid, I can’t do anything about Lobo. He’s dead. And Whit and I weren’t a good match. Ted ought to know this.”
“Are you mad at Ted?”
“Disappointed, but not… Well, I am mad, but I’m mad at both of them. Mike for poking at him, and Ted for taking the bait. I thought everything was going to be fine now that Beth is getting help. I can’t believe that I fought a dragon, and all I got out of it was half a dragon’s heart.”
“What did you do with it?”
“Ate it raw.”
“Cool.
“I wasn’t that pleased to be eating a raw dragon’s heart, but Sariel insisted. I caved in to peer pressure. I think it made me overly aggressive, but I managed.”
“Do you still love Ted?”
“Of course I do. I’m crazy about him, but he does also drive me crazy, as I’m sure I do to him. We need a couple of normal days, and we’ll sort it all out. And if not, we’ll find an amicable way of sharing Brian and PEEPs. It’s not going to be easy though. I really, really love him,” Mia admitted.
“Well, he loves you too and wants you badly. He’s jealous, that’s all.”
“Jealous of whom?”
“Lobo, Whitney, maybe Mike.”
“Well, he shouldn’t be. I’m worried. Have I not proven myself to be loyal?” Mia asked herself.
Cid watched her. She twisted her hands as she thought aloud. “I came here and pounced on him… bad move…” Mia looked over at Cid and asked, “Bad move?”
“What does a guilty husband do?”
“Buy flowers or…” Mia hit the top of her head. “Stupid. But I was just horny, not guilty.”
“Cid, who are you talking to?” Ted asked, walking up. “Oh hey, Mia.”
“Hey, Ted.”
“How’s Mike?”
“Under the knife, I expect.”
“Is he going to sue me?”
“Us. Sue us,” Mia corrected. “I don’t know. I popped for a slight eye lift and to pull his neck up a bit too.” Mia demonstrated by pulling up her skin with her hands. She looked over at Ted a moment. “Did I really cure your acne?” she asked.
Ted blushed deep red and turned around. Cid started laughing. Mia felt bad. “Sorry, just something someone said.”
“What are you doing here with Cid?”
“Planning your demise,” Mia said. “I find, by consulting with the best friend of the victim, I can learn so much…” Mia’s voice trailed off.
“Mia, I’m sorry for the way I behaved. I’ve been dreading the day I see you and Whitney together again.”
“There isn’t a together when it comes to Whiney,” Mia stated.
“Mike was so smug when he drove up.”
“Mike is always smug. Nothing happened sexually between us, Ted. He kept his distance, even when I was pretty aggressively loopy.”
“Aggressive?”
“Mia ate half a dragon heart,” Cid told him.
“Really? Cool.”
Mia shook her head. “It doesn’t taste very good,” she assured him.
“And then my world was shattered when I found out who you were.”
“What do you mean?” she asked Ted.
“I’ve always taken pride that I was this stellar programmer and top game player. There was only one guy who was better when I was younger. It was Lobo. You were Lobo’s wife, not his whatever. I’m sorry, I was being childish. He wrote about you, Mia. God, Cid what did he say? You have a better memory than mine.”
“Lobo made an announcement that he had made this beautiful halfling his bride. He called you his wife. All of us nerds were jealous,”
Cid said.
“Especially me,” Ted said. “I even saved his last words. It took me awhile to find them, but I printed them out for you,” he said, handing her the folded piece of paper he had stuck in his back pocket.
They are coming, but I don’t fear for myself, I fear for my wife…
“And then there was nothing more. It was like the web went dead,” Ted said.
“I was really young. Seventeen, maybe eighteen, I don’t know. I ran and didn’t stop running for a year. And then things got worse,” Mia explained.
“Mia, don’t think of that now. Please give me time to redeem myself,” Ted pleaded.
“What was your handle, Ted?” Mia asked, curious.
“Batman was taken by a thousand guys so I was…”
“BatWayne,” Mia said. “I was LilBear.”
Ted was astounded.
Cid looked at Ted and then at Mia. He saw the bright lights in their eyes, and he felt hopeful.
“I talked to you almost every day,” Ted said. “This can’t be real. I thought you were a guy.”
Mia laughed. “I thought you were funny. Lobo said I could talk to you as long as you thought I was a guy. He liked you. He would have asked you to come in, but he was worried your mad skills would be better than his mad skills. Nerds.”
“I’m a nerd? Seems to me you were also a nerd,” Ted said.
“You can’t prove it. I’m way too cool to be a nerd,” Mia professed.
“Cid, I married Lobo’s wife who I thought was a guy,” Ted said proudly.
“There aren’t enough psychology books to explain that one,” Cid said.
~
“This oppressive fog is giving me a migraine,” Mia admitted. You guys have been here a day longer. How can you handle it?” she asked the room.
“It’s affecting me,” Tom admitted. “But I can’t leave here without knowing what happened to Whit. I owe him that.”
“Mia, we’ve lost two valuable team members. It’s like losing the rudder of this ship,” Burt said. “I try to steer us in the right direction, but I have no idea if I’m doing the right thing.”
“May I take a stab at this?” Mia asked Burt, looking him in the eyes.
