Mr. Garrett coughed. “I suppose what you’re doing is sufficient. But that doesn’t change the fact that Silas is hardly qualified to raise a child. How can he be, when he’s not even there?”
Feeling stronger, braver, Silas gave him a hard look. “Does that mean you’ve dismissed the nanny you hired to care for Milly?”
Mrs. Garrett shrank back as she glanced at her husband. If it was wrong for Silas to have a nanny, then shouldn’t it be equally wrong for them?
“She is not just a nanny,” Mr. Garrett said. “She is teaching Millicent proper etiquette and deportment, and as Millicent gets older, will also give her her regular school lessons. Miss Bertrand is also helping Millicent learn French. Our little darling will be quite the accomplished young lady.”
Mrs. Garrett’s eyes gleamed. “And what accomplishments will Rose teach her? Nothing we want her to learn, I’m sure.”
Rose stiffened, then adjusted her posture as she regarded the Garretts with such a regal expression that Silas almost felt sorry for them.
“I understand that you’re grieving your daughter, and Milly is your only remaining connection to her. And so I forgive you for your grievous insults against my character when you know nothing of it. You are correct in that I cannot teach her French. However, there are a good many things she can learn from me. For example, when Milly first came to us, she did not know how to share with the other children. Now she cooperates well with others, and mothers such as Emma Jane Jackson are delighted to have Milly over to play. That is an accomplishment anyone would be proud to have.”
Silas noted the way Rose emphasized the Jackson name. Though Emma Jane wouldn’t have minded, he could see the way it pained Rose to have to use her friend as a connection to prove her worth. Especially because Mrs. Garrett’s eyes widened at the mention.
“Yes, grief is a terrible thing,” Frank said slowly. “And I can see how it must be hard to have lost your only child. I, too, know the pain of losing one’s children. Fortunately, while my wife and four children went to be with the Lord, I have one remaining daughter, Annabelle, and her little girl, Catherine, brings me more joy than I could have imagined. It must have been terrible to think you were losing little Milly, too.”
Silas stared at him. Just whose side was he on? Rose caught Silas’s eye and gave a subtle shake of her head. She seemed to be telling him to trust Frank.
“Which is why I’m sure Silas will agree with me when I tell you that you are welcome to visit Milly anytime. In fact, we would be delighted to have you come for supper tonight. You can see for yourself how Milly has progressed, and then, afterward, you could spend some time playing with her here in the parlor.”
At Frank’s friendly smile, Silas understood. He was offering them time with Milly, offering them a chance to have a relationship with her, but in a way that still left Silas in control.
“Surely she’s in bed by then.” Mrs. Garrett’s horrified expression matched her tone of voice.
Frank gave her another pleasant smile. “Of course not. The evenings are valuable family time, and we consider Milly part of the family.”
The Garretts exchanged glances that said they were none too pleased with the arrangement, but they had no room to complain. Though they weren’t leaving with what they came for—Milly—Frank had offered them the chance to spend time with their granddaughter. Silas had to admit the older man was far more reasonable than he would have been.
“What time is supper?” Mr. Garrett asked, his face pinched in an unpleasant expression.
“We eat at six,” Frank said, standing. “I’m sure you have other business to attend to, so we’ll look forward to seeing you then.”
The dismissal was as polite as a dismissal could be, and a weight seemed to fall off the entire room. Even the Garretts appeared to be relieved at having a reason to go without having to continue with small talk that was unlikely to be polite.
“Thank you,” Mr. Garrett said, giving a curt nod as he led his wife out of the room.
As the door closed behind the Garretts, everyone seemed to let out a collective sigh of relief.
Maddie reentered the parlor, wiping her hands on her apron. “I thought those guttersnipes would never leave.” Then she looked at Frank, disgust evident on her face. “I suppose you’ve probably invited them for supper.”
His smile was the only answer she needed as she groaned and went back into the kitchen, muttering about the indignities of her work.
Then Frank turned to Rose. “I apologize if my invitation will force you to suffer further insult, but I think it best we at least put on the appearance of cooperation. We don’t want Silas to be accused of not allowing them to see Milly. As long as we appear to be perfectly reasonable in our efforts, they’ll have a hard time convincing a judge that Milly should live with them.”
She nodded slowly. “It’s all right. I’ve heard far worse.” Then she turned to Silas, her forehead knotted with concern. “Do you think they’d go that far?”
He wished he could take away the lines littering her forehead. “They were talking to a lawyer in Ohio about it, so I would imagine that they’d be pursuing it here if they had to. I imagine there will be quite a few things they don’t like about the situation, as if what they voiced wasn’t enough.”
The old familiar heaviness settled on him again. “Nothing I do for Milly is going to be good enough for them. Though they were pleased by our marriage, even when Annie was alive, they were constantly critical. Annie always meekly agreed. They expected me to, and it irked them that I never did.”
Frank patted him on the shoulder. “We know differently. Milly couldn’t have asked for a better father than you.”
High praise from a man who seemed to be everything Silas hoped to be in a father.
“It’s true,” Rose said softly. “You’re quite wonderful with her. I don’t know of any father so involved in raising his children as you.”
Then she gave a small chuckle. “Well, except Joseph, Will, Jasper, Mitch and Uncle Frank, of course. But they’re family, so I suppose I’m biased.”
Sobering, she regarded him with a serious expression that seemed so much less like the Rose he knew, and like a completely different person. “I know it hurts your pride, but if it would smooth things over with the Garretts, I would be happy to help you pay for an actual nanny to care for Milly. The two of you shouldn’t have to suffer for my mistake.”
A dull knife tearing at Silas’s insides wouldn’t have hurt as much as the mournful expression on Rose’s face. With the way her family and friends supported her, he hadn’t given much thought to the way those outside the circle must still treat her. Granted, he’d once thought that marriage would be a perfect solution for both of them, as a means of saving her reputation. But that was before he’d seen how well Rose got by on her own. She didn’t need him or any other man to save her.
“I stand by what I told them,” Silas said, looking her square in the eye. “Milly couldn’t have a better example of how to lead a good Christian life than you. It’s as Frank said. You made a mistake, but who doesn’t? We’re all going to mess up sometimes, so she needs to know that what you do afterward is what makes the difference.”
Rose nodded slowly like she’d heard those words before. “All the same, if it would make things easier for you to keep Milly...”
“None of that, Rose.” Frank put his arm around her. “This is just like when we had people asking me to resign as pastor because you live here. There will always be bullies pursuing their own agendas, what they think is right, but without the grace the Lord asks of us. If you give up taking care of Milly just to appease the bullies, it’ll make you that much more susceptible to the next round of bullies who want to come after you. There will always be someone wanting to take you down. Stand strong in your faith, and it will all work out.”
The doubt creeping along her face made Silas wish he could reach out and hold her, to tell her it was going to be all right. But he didn’t have that right. Even when he’d been courting her, when he’d held her and told her all the things he wanted to do for her, all the things he’d felt for her, he’d been wrong to be so free with his heart when it wasn’t his to give. It was wrong of him to ask her to entangle hers.
Now, with them both free to finally love one another, such comfort and intimacy still wasn’t right. They were different people who didn’t know each other anymore. If they’d ever known each other at all. The Rose Stone he’d fallen in love with was a bold, sassy woman whose smile lit up every room. Her flirtatious glances had made him feel every bit a man. But that was before he knew what it meant to be a man. Before he knew what it meant to honor the woman he loved.
He hadn’t honored Rose back then. If he had, he never would have messed with her heart. He would have been honest about the situation between his family and Annie’s family. He wouldn’t have stolen all those kisses that didn’t belong to him.
In truth, the biggest problem with all the things the Garretts said against Rose was that they were pointing their fingers at the wrong person. Silas had been the one to behave dishonorably toward Rose. And though Rose had never spoken of her time with the outlaw who’d fathered her child, from what Silas had heard, that man had dishonored her, as well.
Seeing how selflessly she’d been willing to give up Milly for Silas’s sake, Silas realized something he hadn’t seen in Rose before. Every time he thought he had a glimpse into her heart to see who she really was, he found a depth he hadn’t known existed. And the more he examined his own heart, he found how grossly unworthy he was of such a woman.
Though it pained him to make such an admission, the real reason he was grateful Rose hadn’t accepted his proposal was that in all the trials people saw as being her flaws, she’d come out too strong, too good, and a man like Silas simply didn’t deserve her.
Chapter Four
Rose cradled Matthew against her as she helped Milly finish dressing.
“Won’t it be nice to see your grandparents again?” Motioning for the little girl to turn around, she tied the sash at the back of Milly’s new pink dress into a pretty bow.
No one could fault Rose for having a poorly dressed child in her charge, but as Rose gave Milly a final once-over, she made sure that every detail was as it should be. Most days, Milly’s appearance wasn’t so tidy, not after playing in the yard and spending time with the children from the church. But tonight, with the Garretts coming to dinner, she wanted Milly to look her best.
“There now, aren’t you as pretty as a princess?” Rose smiled at Milly, who scowled.
“I pway wif da kids.”
Rose stood and held out her hand for Milly. “Tomorrow. Emma Jane has promised to bring over Moses and baby David, and if Mary is feeling up to it, she’s coming over with Nugget.”
“I yike Nugget.” Milly’s eyes shone. “And Moses. Him’s baby yike Ma-few, but him’s more fun. I teach him to walk.”
Rose couldn’t help the warmth that filled her as Milly continued chattering about the many attributes of Moses Jackson. Barely a year old, Moses was still very much a baby, but he could keep a two-year-old better entertained than little Matthew. Emma Jane had privately teased Rose that perhaps Moses and Milly would end up married. Wouldn’t that be something to tell the Garretts? The supposed impossibility of finding Milly a decent husband under Rose’s care had already been solved.
Rose smiled again. But of course, both women had agreed that the children should be free to choose their own spouses. Emma Jane had been forced to marry Jasper, her husband, to prevent scandal, and though the couple was now deeply in love, the Jacksons had already promised that their children could marry whomever they wanted.
Which was why, as Rose looked down at the little boy sleeping in her arms, she felt no unhappiness at her unmarried state. Several men had offered, with there being so few unmarried women in Leadville who weren’t occupied in the world’s oldest profession, but Rose couldn’t see herself saddled to a man who merely wanted a wife. Men up here were lonely and desperate, and she wasn’t lonely or desperate enough to take advantage of that fact.
Even Silas’s proposal hadn’t been tempting. Not when she’d seen the deep love shared by the couples among her close friends and family. Perhaps it was wishful thinking to hope that Rose could someday have it for herself, especially with all the mistakes she’d made. But having made those mistakes, Rose was no longer willing to settle for anything less than an honorable man who loved her with his whole heart and would love and court her the proper way.
“Come, now,” Rose said, holding out her hand to Milly. “Let’s go downstairs to wait for your grandparents.”
Milly took her hand, and they made their way downstairs, Milly skipping as best a two-year-old could. She’d seen the older children at the mission and had begun mimicking their actions. The somber little girl who’d come into their household now seemed to radiate joy.
As they reached the bottom step, Milly caught sight of Silas and ran toward him. “Papa!”
He picked her up and swung her in his arms, then held her tight as he kissed the top of her head. Though she’d watched this scene play out between them at least once a day, it still never failed to melt Rose’s heart.
How could anyone think that not having Milly with her father was the best thing?
A noise came from the parlor, and Rose turned to see the Garretts standing there, with matching sour expressions covering their faces.
“Such a ruckus,” Mrs. Garrett said. “Surely you don’t let her run so wild all the time.”
“Ah, but what is a home without laughter?” Uncle Frank gave a pleasant smile as Silas stiffened.
Rose hated seeing the expression on Silas’s face. He’d said that they constantly criticized them, but until now, she’d wondered if he’d been exaggerating. Their comments about Milly running wild made it clear that, if anything, Silas had been generous in his descriptions of life with the Garretts.
He set Milly down. “Say hello to your grandparents, Milly.”
The smile disappeared from Milly’s face, then she turned and ran to Rose, burying herself in Rose’s skirts.
“I’m sorry,” Rose said, patting Milly’s head. “She’s usually not so shy. I can’t imagine what’s gotten into her.”
“He’s already poisoned her against us.” Rose recoiled at Mrs. Garrett’s harsh tone.
“I’m sure that’s not it at all,” Rose said as she knelt in front of Milly.
Focusing her attention on Milly, she said softly, “What’s wrong, my sweet? Your grandparents are here. You want to have a nice visit, don’t you?”
Tears filled Milly’s eyes. “I want to pway.”
Rose hugged Milly close, careful not to disturb Matthew in her arms. So far, he’d been quietly watching everything around him, but she wasn’t going to risk making him fuss. “Tomorrow.”
Then she smiled at the Garretts. “She’s sad because the Jacksons invited us to stay for supper, and we obviously couldn’t. She adores little Moses Jackson, so it’s disappointing for her not to get to stay and play.”
“Do you dine with the Jacksons regularly?” Mrs. Garrett’s question reflected her snobbery, as though she didn’t believe the close friendship Rose had mentioned.
Uncle Frank laughed. “Sometimes I don’t know who is eating where. Our families have become so close that it seems like either one of us is at the Jackson mansion, or one of them is over here.”
Then he turned to Silas. “Which reminds me. Henry gave me some papers for you to look over for Joseph. Don’t let me forget.”
With another chuckle, he brought his attention back to the Garretts. “My apologies for bringing up work during a
social call. With Joseph out of town, Silas is handling a good deal of the mining business on his behalf. We’ve been very impressed with Silas’s skills. I’m sure you’re pleased with how well he’ll be able to provide for Milly.”
Rose was fairly certain Silas already knew about the papers Emma Jane’s father-in-law had asked Uncle Frank to deliver, but it gave him the opening to subtly let the Garretts know that one of their main arguments against Silas raising Milly had been defeated. However, the scowls they wore said they wouldn’t be giving up so easily.
“Yes, but at what cost?” Mrs. Garrett said, her voice sounding deceptively pleasant. “Millicent, come, let me take a look at you.”
Carefully balancing Matthew, Rose gave Milly a tiny push in her grandmother’s direction. “Go on now, give her a nice big hug.”
Milly obediently walked forward, holding out her arms, but Mrs. Garrett turned aside. “You may kiss me on the cheek.”
Rose’s heart hurt as Milly did as she was bidden. All the joy that she’d gotten used to seeing in the little girl’s eyes seemed to have disappeared. Rose would admit that her dislike of Annie Garrett had largely been because of Silas, but even before that, she’d always thought Annie cold and unfeeling. Now, though, watching Milly methodically kiss her grandparents on the cheek with no warmth and no hugs, Rose felt a little more sympathy toward the other woman. Perhaps the unfriendliness Rose had always sensed was more about Annie’s discomfort than about her disdain for others.
For all the things Rose could find fault with in how she was raised, the one thing she was most grateful for was how, at least until her mother became ill, their home was filled with laughter, hugs and affection. And now that they were here in Leadville, that love had seemed to grow stronger as their family grew. Part of why she didn’t regret not having a father for Matthew was that between her brother, Uncle Frank, and all the other men they considered family there was always a man in the house holding his arms out to her boy.
For the Sake of the Children Page 5
