“I hear you’ve been looking for me, baby girl.”
My fist clenches at my side and my blood turns ice cold, hearing the moniker he bestowed upon me during those horrific three weeks he raped and tortured me. Before I can respond another voice from the past interjects.
“We’re here to take you back, Marisa.” The words falling out of my adoptive father’s mouth can only be described as utter bullshit.
“That’s not my goddamn name!” My outburst has all eyes on me. I pin each man with a stare and I pray for the ability to fire beams of intense heat from my eyes. Why the fuck don’t I have heat vision?
My gaze softens when Lucian speaks.
“I’m sorry, Avery” are the words he spoke, but I hear, “I love you, Rose Petal.”
I want to wake up from this nightmare. I know how it ends. But no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to fight the darkness. My only thought is to keep Lucian safe. And making a deal with the devil is my only hope.
“Let him go and I’ll leave with you.” The words sear my throat as I choke them out.
“Do you think it’s going to be that easy?” My blood seizes to flood through my veins, frozen by the diabolical tone filled with evil intentions. “I’ll let him go after he witnesses me take what’s rightfully mine.”
Before I can utter a word Lucian shouts, “I’ll fucking kill you if lay your goddamn hands on her.”
A sinister laughter erupts from the man holding a gun to Lucian’s head. The man I once called my father. Philip Hunter sold his soul to the devil, the same night he sold my virginity.
“Let him go,” I beg. “Please.”
“I’m feeling generous,” he taunts. “Drop to your knees and suck my dick and I’ll let him go.”
I would do whatever it takes to keep him safe, no sacrifice to great. I nod, accepting his deal. Unable to bear the pain in Lucian’s eyes, I lower my head, refusing to meet his gaze.
“Don’t do this, not for me.” Lucian’s voice is pleading, and he chokes with unshed tears.
I drop to my knees, silently praying that Lucian will forgive me one day.
“Are you ready for me, baby girl?”
The words ring in my ears, deafening me. I look past his exposed cock, down to my hands. My right hand has a tight grip on my Glock. Raising my hand, I shove the gun against his balls. I close my eyes and pull the trigger.
“I changed my mind,” I proclaim.
“You bitch!” he screams in agony.
I watch as the blood flows from his mangled genitals.
“Kill him,” he orders with his dying breath.
My horrified gaze meets Lucian’s just as the shot is fired. Crawling over to him, I manage to reach him before his body falls to the floor.
“How does it feel knowing that you’re responsible for his death? Knowing that he died because you were too selfish to save him.”
Once again, I raise my right hand and pull the trigger. Philip’s lifeless body drops to the floor with a loud thud.
I hear Lucian take his last breath, and my world begins to shatter, falling apart around me. There is no light. There is only the devasting darkness that consumes me.
MY HEART BEATING FRANTICALLY in my chest drowns the sound of my mournful cry. Lucian’s arms tighten around me, but he remains asleep. I try desperately to shake off the remnants of my nightmare. However, it haunts me until I make the only choice I can. A choice I know will destroy me utterly.
.
Chapter 12
Lucian
I awake feeling better than I have in recent days. Thanks to the amazing night I had with Avery. A smile curls my lips as the memory of our lovemaking assails me and hardens my cock. Disappointment deflates my erection when I reach out for her and she’s not in bed beside me. My eyes flash open before squinting against the sunlight. I climb out of bed, intending to find her. But my footsteps are halted by the note on my bedside table. I’m reminded of the note she left all those months ago in Vegas. The night she left me leaving only a note and her panties behind.
Dread fills me when the similarity of now and then creeps up my spine. I tell myself that she has gone to run an errand, or she doesn’t want me to ruin a surprise, by finding her before she is ready. But that’s not the case and my worst fears are realized when I read Avery’s note.
I know this is the coward’s way out. But I could never look into your eyes and tell you that I’m leaving. That it’s for the best. You will always be my lighthouse, but I can’t have you crashing against the tide trying to save me. As long as we are together, you are in far more danger than I am. Please don’t try to find me. Let me love you enough to let you go. Forever yours, Avery.
Panic swells in my chest as each word jumps out at me, delivering a devasting blow. The assault is so brutal it knocks me to my knees and deprives me of oxygen. The room spins, blurring my vision. Gasping, I pant for air that doesn’t seem to fill my lungs. I don’t know how long I struggle to breathe before I’m on my feet again, frantically searching the master suite. It already feels empty without her. She has taken very little in the way of clothing, but her gun and passport are gone. Racing through the penthouse from room to room, defeat strikes another blow when all I find are the four walls.
With heavy footsteps I make my way back to the master suite. The sight of the empty bed I shared with Avery taunts me. Retrieving my iPhone from the bedside table, I call Avery. The sound of our ringtone going off in the bathroom has me striding quickly towards it. Jace Everett’s Bad Things playing on repeat in my head only fuels the rage buried beneath the surface. The ringing stops when I throw the phone against the wall. The image in the mirror is unrecognizable. The man staring back at me is as broken as the phone laying shattered on the floor.
Unable to stand the sight of him, my fist crashes into the glass, cracking it. Blood drips from my knuckles, staining the crumpled note I’m still holding. Unclenching my fist, the note falls into the sink. I wrap my hand in a towel to stop the bleeding.
Dressing quickly in sweat pants and a T-shirt, I leave the bedroom, vowing never to sleep there again without Avery. The need to shut out the pain has me pouring a glass of scotch. I drain the glass and pour another. Looking around the penthouse, the ghost of Avery haunts me in every corner. It’s as if I see her in my peripheral entering the room. My mind is overloaded, remembering every second we spent together.
The first time we had dinner alone was here at the penthouse. I wanted to impress her with the view overlooking the city. But it was her who impressed me with her strength and courage. I remember she was so nervous and so goddamn beautiful.
I take another drink, drowning my senses and dulling the ache in my chest. Drink after drink, the voices in my head get quieter. The voices that told me Avery never loved me or she would not have left me.
Day turns to night, enveloping the room in darkness.
WHEN I OPEN MY EYES, darkness greets me. And for one moment, I pretend that my world hadn’t been decimated. I pretend that Avery hadn’t left me.
But no amount of pretense can erase the pain I feel from my heart being ripped from my chest.
“Lucian?” My sister’s voice whispers in the darkness.
The pounding in my head is mild compared to the gaping hole in my chest. I attempt to sit up, but the spinning room keeps me flat on my back.
“How do you feel?” Katelyn asks.
“Like I’ve been used as a punching bag.” Every part of me aches. It even hurts to open my eyes. “I need a drink.”
“I think you’ve had enough.”
“I think I haven’t had nearly enough.” I force my body to sit up, meeting Katelyn’s gaze.
“You were passed out when I got here.”
“So, you decided to stay. I don’t need a babysitter. You can leave now.” My words are harsh, but I can’t seem to quell them.
Avery is gone, and nothing will ever repair the hollow shell that was shattered in her wake.
“You can call
me what you like, sister or babysitter. I’m not letting you drink anymore. I didn’t try hard enough to reach out to you after Camille and Ian died and I’ll regret that forever.”
I wince at the thought of Avery dying.
“Avery’s not dead.”
“I know, which means you can get her back. But not if you give up and give in to bad behavior.”
“Do you know what it feels like to have someone you love leave you?”
Katelyn stares at me with eyes that mirror my pain. “You know that I do.”
Standing, I walk over to the bar. When I pour scotch into my glass, my sister didn’t stop me. I make my way back to the couch. Sitting there, I stare at the amber liquid before lifting the glass to my lips. Once again Katelyn doesn’t stop me. But her words play on a loop in my head, giving me pause. ‘You can get her back. But not if you give up and give in to bad behavior.’
Anger, hurt, and betrayal rears its ugly head. And the alcohol promises to silence the voices and combat the agony. I take one sip then another until the glass is empty. Avery is gone, and right now bad behavior is all I have to dull the pain.
The next few days were spent in a drunken haze. As long as I was drunk, the pain was bearable. And I didn’t see Avery in every room of the penthouse. The nights, however, only made the days worse. Dreams of her consumed my sleeping hours. I hated falling asleep and finding her in my dreams, then waking without her by my side. It was a vicious cycle, drinking myself into a stupor to forget about the dreams, only to fall asleep to be with her again.
I awake in the quest room, the only room that doesn’t have memoires of her. Katelyn insisted on staying with me, using the guest room that doubles as Avery’s office. Every day she made sure I ate at least one meal, while getting me to drink less.
Climbing out of bed for the first time since Avery left me, I didn’t reach for the bottle of scotch on the bedside table. Instead, I make my way to the bathroom. I avoid looking in the mirror, as the image there is too distorted. After relieving my bladder, I step into the shower, and allow the hot water to wash away the stench of pity and self-loathing. Self-doubt circles the drain, before disappearing, leaving behind clarity of mind and determination.
It has been six days since Avery left me and nearly two weeks since I last stepped foot inside Thorne Tower. However, I’m not here to return to work. Thorne Security has the means to find Avery and that’s what I intend to do. I head to Carter’s office on the second floor, ready to take advantage of his expertise.
While I was bingeing on alcohol and self-destruction, Carter and Jake were busy investigating the Sullivan family. Carter found proof that Tate Sullivan assumed Philip Hunter’s identity before fleeing to Ireland ten years ago. Hunter’s body was exhumed, and the cause of death was determined to be smoke inhalation due to blunt force trauma to the head. The new evidence was turned over to the police, but unfortunately, Sullivan remains at large. The police have the Sullivan family under surveillance and so does Thorne Security. The sonofabitch will not escape justice much longer. One way or another he will answer for what he has done to Avery.
“Good morning, Mr. Thorne,” Carter’s newest recruit greets me.
I draw a blank, unable to remember his name.
“Declan Pierce,” he offers, extending his hand.
Accepting his hand, his grip is firm, and his eyes are confident. After exchanging pleasantries, Pierce escorts me to the conference room where Carter is wrapping up a staff meeting. Mathers and Danvers are the first to see me enter the room. Seeing Avery’s sister, Reagan Danvers, only serves as a painful reminder of the woman who left me. I look away, attempting to shut out the glimpses of Avery I see in her.
Standing at the back of the room, I wait for everyone to clear out. When Carter approaches me the last thing I’m expecting are the words that come out of his mouth.
“We found Avery,” he announces without preamble.
I’m stunned silent, unable to force my words past the lump in throat.
Carter continues, answering my unspoken question. “We were able to track her movement from your penthouse to the airport. From the airport she boarded a private jet to California.”
I nod, as the shock begins to wear off.
“She’s staying at the Four Seasons in Los Angeles.”
Jealousy rears its ugly head and I manage to ask, “Is she staying with someone?”
“No, she’s there alone.”
Relief frees the breath I didn’t know I was holding captive.
“What else can you tell me?” I ask, eager for any news of her.
“She’s keeping a very low profile. She hasn’t been seen in public since she checked into the hotel. She’s not using any of her credit cards and she has no cell phone.”
Reality hits hard when I realize she’s hiding. But is she hiding from me, Sullivan, or both?
“Since the suite is paid for by The Carmichael Literary Agency, we have someone shadowing Jill Carmichael, Avery’s agent. And yesterday we were able to confirm that Avery is the occupant of the suite. Although the reservation is under the name Rose Alexander.”
Rose Alexander. The name repeats on a loop, spinning around and around in my head. She is using our middle names as her alias.
“Send me the details.”
“It’s done. Marcus and Reagan figured you’d want to know.”
My feet began to move of their own volition, leading me out of the conference room. Carter matches my quick strides to the elevator. The elevator door slides open and I thank Carter before stepping inside. Texting my pilot on the way down, I instruct him to have the plane ready within the hour. It seems to take a lifetime to travel from the second floor to the lobby.
Once I’m behind the wheel of my Mercedes a sense of calm comes over me. Knowing that I will see Avery again in just a few hours brings peace to the chaos I have lived with since she left me. Heading straight to the airport, I don’t bother going home to pack a bag.
Chapter 13
Avery
It has been one hundred and forty-five hours since I left Lucian, sacrificing our love to keep him safe. The memory of our last night together, and the cowardly way I ran, haunts me. I laid awake listening to Lucian breath steadily before climbing out of bed. Writing the note saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing I will ever do. I must have talked myself out of leaving half a dozen times after my tears soaked the paper. Once my mind was made up, I moved through the penthouse silently like a thief in the night. I barely packed, shoving only the essentials into an overnight bag along with my passport and hand gun. At four in the morning there is no security detail and I knew I had two hours to leave without being seen. I made my way down to the lobby and out the door. I walked two blocks before hailing a cab. I was able to book a flight on a private jet from LaGuardia to LAX. That was the last time Avery West was seen.
Now, six days later, my agent has me hidden away at the Four Seasons. I didn’t tell Jill why I had a sudden change of heart. I only told her that I needed seclusion to work on the screenplay. She was happy to accommodate me.
Although I haven’t left the suite, just before dawn every morning I step out onto the balcony to take in the panoramic views of Hollywood Hills and downtown Los Angeles. For now, this is as close as I get to going out in public. I know I can’t hide forever, I just need time to come up with a plan. A plan that will keep Lucian safe and set me free from the darkness that follows me.
I know from the emails I’ve received from Raina, Reagan, and Marcus that Lucian has taken my leaving hard. According to Marcus, Lucian has not been seen by anyone except Katelyn for nearly a week. And Raina writes that Jake is worried, that Lucian will return to the self-destructive behavior that consumed him when he lost Ian and Camille. It took everything in me not to reply to the emails. Lucian is strong, and I know he will get through this.
Every day that passes I tell myself that he didn’t come after me because he’s respecting my request. I also tell myself th
at Lucian has not come for me because he can’t find me. These are the lies I tell myself to ease the pain and guilt I feel. The truth is, Lucian has not come because he’s afraid that pursuing me after I betrayed him will only repeat history. I know that a part of him still blames himself for Camille and Ian’s deaths. I know he believes that if he hadn’t followed them they would still be alive. My heart breaks when I think of the betrayal he must feel now.
The tapping on the door tells me Jill has arrived for lunch. She has made it a point to stop by every day since I checked into the hotel. And although she hasn’t voiced her concerns, I know she is worried about me. When I insist that the room be registered under an alias, she didn’t bat an eye. This is Hollywood after all. But when I refuse to leave the suite, she couldn’t hide the apprehension etched on her face.
Opening the door, I greet Jill before stepping aside to let her in. She’s dressed more casual today, wearing designer jeans, a Chanel jacket that covers a white silk blouse, and her signature red bottom pumps. She looks absolutely flawless. However, it is her pearl necklace that holds my attention. The way it wraps around her neck in multiple layers reminds me of the strand of pearls and the diamond choker Lucian gifted me. Instinctively I raise my hand to my neck. My fingers tremble with disappointment, missing Lucian’s collar almost as much as I miss the man himself.
The sound of Jill’s heels clicking against the tile floor reign in my wayward thoughts. For now, her presence is a welcome distraction. We’ve lunch together for the past three days. And just like the day before and the day before that she has invited me to join her for an evening out. Again, I refuse, as it is safer for everyone if my location remains unknown. I know that Lucian has the resources to find me, so the fact the he hasn’t gives me an ounce of comfort. Knowing that he is safe is everything.
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