by Nora Roberts
“Come on. Seriously. It seems to me he can only go so far. Like it was with Malory. It comes down to us making a choice—to reaching down inside, holding on to enough of ourselves to recognize the illusion and reject it.”
“But he hurt you just the same,”Zoe pointed out.
“Oh, man.” Remembering, Dana rubbed a hand over her heart. “Ill say. Even if the pain was an illusion, it did the job. Worse than the pain was knowing what the pain meant, then the fear that he could take that from me.”
“You shouldve called.” There was as much exasperation as concern in Malorys voice. “Dana, you should have called me, orZoe . Both of us. I know what its like to be caught in one of those illusions. You didnt have to be alone.”
“I wasnt. Exactly. Afterward, I mean. I was going to call. In fact, I think I was just going to stand in the bedroom and scream for both of you, but then Jordan knocked on the door.”
“Oh.”
Dana stared at Malory. “Theres no „oh in that meaningful tone. He just happened to be there at a moment when Id have welcomed a visit from a two-headed dwarf as long as he could chase the bogeyman away.”
“Funny coincidence, though,” Malory said with a flutter of lashes. “I mean when you figure the elements of fate and destiny and connections.”
“Look, just because youre all mush-brained over Flynn, dont assume the rest of the world has to fall in line. He came by, and he behaved very decently. At first.”
“Lets hear about at second, then,”Zoe insisted.
“Unlike Brad, apparently, Jordan rarely hesitates to make his move. He cornered me in the kitchen.”
“Really?” Malory gave a sigh. “The first time Flynn kissed me was in the kitchen.”
“Anyway, Im going out with him Saturday night.” She waited, then scowled when no one spoke. “Well?”
Zoebraced her elbow on her thigh, propped her chin on her fist. “I was just thinking that itd be nice if the two of you could at least be friends again. And that maybe, from an entirely different perspective, becoming friends again is part of what you have to do to find the key.”
“I think I need to get into this a little more before I start multitasking. I dont know if I can be friends with Jordan again, because… Im still sort of in love with him.”
“Dana.” Malory took her hand, but Dana broke free, pushed off the steps.
“I dont know if Im still in love—more or less—with himhim , or with the him that I fell for all that time ago. You know, like this memory of him. This image, and its no more than an illusion now. But Ive got to find out, dont I?”
“Yeah.”Zoe unwrapped the brownies shed brought along and held one out to Dana. “You need to find out.”
“And if I am in love with him, I can get over it.” She took a huge bite of brownie. “I got over it before. If Im not in love with him, then everything gets back to normal or as back to normal as possible until I find the key.”
“What about his feelings?” Malory asked her. “Arent they a factor?”
“He had it his way once. This time around its my way.” She rolled her shoulders, pleased that the weight seemed to shrug off with the statement. “Lets paint our porch.”
* * *
WHILE they broke out brushes and rollers, Jordan relayed Danas experience to Flynn and Brad.
They sat in Flynns living room, set up as an informal think tank. Jordan paced as he spoke, and Flynns dog, Moe, watched every movement in hopes that Jordan might detour to the kitchen, and cookies.
Now and again, if Jordans direction veered closer to the doorway, Moes big black tail would thump in anticipation. So far it hadnt netted him any treats, but it did get him a few rubs on the back with Flynns foot.
“Why the hell didnt you bring her back here?” Flynn demanded.
“I guess I could have. If Id knocked her unconscious and hog-tied her. This is Dana were talking about.”
“Okay, okay, point taken. You couldve told me all this last night.”
“I couldve—and youd have rushed over there. Which wouldve annoyed her. Youd have tried to make her come here, which would have meant the two of you wouldve ended up fighting. I just figured shed had enough for one night. Added to that, I wanted to tell you both about it at once, when Malory wasnt around.”
“Now that we do know,” Brad put in, “what do we do about it?”
“There you go.” Jordan walked back to the couch, and burst Moes cookie fantasy by sitting down on the crate that served as coffee table. “We cant get her, or any of them, out of this. Even if we could, I dont know if we should. Theres a lot at stake.”
“Three souls,” Brad murmured. “I dont think Ive adjusted to that yet. Even knowing what happened with Malory, it doesnt compute in my head. But Ill go along with this. We cant get them out of it. So the question comes down to two parts. What can we do to keep them safe, and how do we help them find the key?”
“We make sure none of them is alone any more than necessary,” Flynn began. “Even though we know that he got to Malory when she was with Dana andZoe , its a precaution we ought to take.”
“She wont move in here, Flynn. I offered to move out, and she still wouldnt go for it.” Absently Jordan rubbed his chin, reminding himself that he hadnt shaved. “But one of us could move into her place. At least stay there with her at night.”
“Oh, yeah, shell go for that.” Sarcasm dripped from Flynns voice. “The minute I say Im going to sleep at her place, shell get her back up, or just brain me with the handiest blunt instrument. And she sure as hell isnt going to let you move in with her. Or Brad either.”
“I was thinking of Moe.”
The annoyance on Flynns face changed to bafflement. “Moe?”
At the sound of his name, Moe leaped up happily, knocking magazines off the crate with the enthusiastic sweep of his tail before trying to climb into Flynns lap.
“You said Moe sensed Kane, or danger at least, when you went into the building where hed separated Malory from Dana andZoe .”
“Yeah.” Remembering it, Flynn robbed Moes big head. “And he charged up those stairs ready to rip out throats. Didnt you, you wild thing?”
“So, he could be a sort of early-warning system. And if he carried on the way you said he did before, he would alert the neighbors. Potentially, he could keep Dana grounded.”
“Its a good idea,” Brad agreed, and began to pick a few of Moes hairs off his trousers. “But just how are you going to talk Dana into taking Moe as a roommate?”
“I can cover that,” Flynn said smugly. “Ill tell her Im moving in at her place, and well have the expected argument. Ill give in, then ask her if she wont at least compromise by taking Moe so I can sleep at night. Shell feel sorry for me and agree so she doesnt come off as bitchy.”
“Ive always admired your sneaky, serpentine methods,” Brad commented.
“Justgotta keep your eye on the goal. Which brings us back to the key.”
“My schedules still the most flexible,” Jordan began. “I can take all the time needed to dig into this. Research, brainstorming, legwork. Youve got your journalists resources,” he said to Flynn. “Plus Malorys willing and able to work with you, and Dana andZoe have already let you in—as far as women ever let men in—to their group. Brads got theHomeMakers advantage. He can drop by their building most anytime—Hows it going, ladies? Looks good. Can I give you a hand with that?”
“I can do that. Maybe you could casually mention toZoe that Im not now, nor have I ever been, an axe murderer.”
“Ill see if I can work it into our next conversation,” Flynn promised.
* * *
IT was time, Dana told herself, to roll up her sleeves and get to work. To do something positive, something to offset the nasty seed of helplessness Kane had planted inside her.
Shed be damned if she would let it take root.
If her key was knowledge, then shed get smart. And what better place to seek knowledge than the library?
It galle
d her to go back as a patron rather than an employee. But she would just swallow the bile and do the job.
She didnt bother to go home first, to change, but in her paint-splattered clothes walked straight into what had been a key in her life.
The smell caught her instantly. Books, a world of boots. But she buried the sentimentality. Inside books, she reminded herself as she headed straight to one of the computer stations, were answers.
Shed read everything available on Celtic lore and mythology, so now she would expand on that. She ran a search for titles that related to sorcery. Know your enemy, she thought. Knowledge isnt just a defense. Knowledge is power.
Noting down her top choices, she ran other searches using what she thought of as the main code words from Rowenas clue. Satisfied that shed made a good start, she headed toward the stacks.
“Did you forget something?” Her irritating toothy smile in place, Sandi stepped into her path.
“I keep trying to, but its tough when you keep getting in my face. Fuck off, Sandi,” she said in her sweetest tone.
“We dont appreciate that kind of language here.”
With a shrug, Dana skirted around her and kept going. “I dont appreciate your overly rosy perfume, but there you go.”
“You dont work here anymore.” Chasing after her, Sandi snatched at Danas arm.
“This is a public building, and it happens I have a library card. Now take your hand off me, or Im going to mess up those pearly whites that your daddy probably paid a lot of money for.”
She took a deep breath to find her calm. She wanted to get her books and get the hell out. “Why dont you run up and tell Joan Im here, nefariously checking out library books. Unless shes off in Oz picking on a scarecrow.”
“I can call the police.”
“Yeah, do that little thing. Itll be interesting to see what my brother writes in the Dispatch about how card-carrying patrons are treated these days in the local library.”
She flipped a little wave at Sandis face and swung into the stacks. “Dont worry. Ill make sure he spells your name right.”
Bile was a little harder to swallow than shed thought, Dana admitted as she began selecting her books. It was painful, every bit as much as it was maddening, not to be able to come here, even as a patron, without being hassled.
But she wasnt going to be chased away by the yappy little pom-pom queen. And she wasnt going to be frightened off by some hell-bent sorcerer.
They had a lot in common as far as she was concerned. They were both riddled with petty jealousy that lashed out and caused pain.
Jealousy, she thought, pursing her lips. It was, in a way, the opposite of love. As lies were to truth, as cowardice to valor, and so on. Another angle, she decided, and detoured to grab a copy of Othello, the king of stories on jealousy.
As she carted her load to checkout, Dana worked up a smile for one of the women shed worked with for years. She dumped the books on the counter, dug out her card. “Hi, Annie. Hows it going?”
“Good. Fine.” In an exaggerated motion, Annie slid her gaze to the right and cleared her throat.
Following the direction, Dana spotted Sandi, arms crossed, lips tight, watching. “Oh, for Christs sake,” Dana said under her breath.
“Sorry, Dana. Sorry about everything.” Keeping her voice low, Annie scanned the books, stacked them.
“Dont worry about it.” After jamming her card back in her purse, Dana scooped up her armload of books. She sent Sandi a wide, wide smile and walked out.
* * *
ONE of the perks of having a mature adult relationship with a woman, to Flynns mind, was coming home from work and finding her.
The smell of her, the look of her, the simple presence of her, made everything just a little clearer.
And when that woman, that pretty, sexy, fascinating woman, was cooking, it added just one more delight to the day.
He didnt know what she had going on the stove, and he didnt care. It was more than enough to see her, stirring something in a pot while Moe sprawled under the table, snoring like a freight train.
His life, Flynn thought, had found its true rhythm when Malory Price had walked into it.
He stepped up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and pressed his lips to the side of her neck. “Youre the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“I certainly am.” She turned her head so she could meet his lips with hers. “How are things?”
“Things are good.” He nudged her around for a longer, more satisfying kiss. “And better now. You didnt have to cook, Mal. I know you were working all day.”
“I just punched up some jarred spaghetti sauce.”
“Still, you dont.” He took her hands, then frowned as he turned them over. “Whats this?”
“Just some blisters. Im telling myself theyre good for me. Shows Im pulling my weight.”
He kissed them. “You know, if youd wait for the weekend, I could give you a hand with the place.”
“We really want to do it ourselves, at least start on it ourselves. Ive got a few blisters and pretty much ruined a pair of jeans, but we have the most beautifully painted porch in the Valley. I wouldnt complain if you poured me a glass of wine, though.”
He got out a bottle and two of the wineglasses shed bought. It seemed to him there were more glasses in the cabinet than there had been the last time hed looked.
She was always slipping things in.
Glasses, fluffy towels, fancy soaps that he hesitated to actually use. It was one of the oddities and interests of having a woman around the house.
“Jordan told me what happened with Dana.”
“I thought he would.” Though it wasnt quite dark, she lit the long oval candle shed picked up for the table. “We both know how horrible it must have been for her. I know how much you love her, Flynn. I love her too. But we cant shield her from this as much as we can just be there for her.”
“Maybe not, but Jordan had an idea that might do a little of both.”
He poured the wine, told her about using Moe.
“Its brilliant,” Malory decided, then laughed down at the still snoring Moe. “Shell certainly agree to it, and if nothing else, she wont feel so alone at night.” After a sip of wine, she moved to the sink to fill a pot with water for the pasta. “I suppose Jordan told you theyre going out Saturday night?”
Hed been staring at the candle, thinking how odd it was to see it flickering away on the ancient picnic table he used in the kitchen. “Whos going out?” As it hit him, Flynn swallowed wine in one hard gulp. “Jordan and Dana? Going… out?”
“So he didnt tell you.”
“No, it didnt come up.”
“And,” she concluded as she set the pot on the stove, “youre not too keen on the idea.”
“I dont know. I dont want to get into it. Damn it, I dont want them messing each other up again.” Knowing that Jordan was working upstairs, Flynn glanced at the ceiling. “Its the person who ends up in the middle, and that would be me, who gets his ass kicked from both sides.”
“She still loves him.”
“Loves who?” Shock jumped into his eyes. “Loves him? Jordan? She loves him? Shit. Shit! Why do you tell me these things?”
“Because thats what people in love do, Flynn.” She got three woven place mats from a drawer he wasnt sure hed known was there and set them neatly on the table. “They tell each other things. And I dont expect you to go running to Jordan with this information.”
“Man.” Pacing now, he shoved a hand through his hair. “See, if you didnt tell me, I wouldnt have to think about not saying anything to him, or not saying anything to her. I would just exist in a nice bubble of ignorance.”
“And I thinkZoes interested—extremely reluctantly— in Brad.”
“Stop it. Stop this flood of information right now.”
“Youre a newspaperman.” Enjoying herself, she pulled out the salad shed put together and began to dress it. “Youre supposed to thrive on in
formation.”
Hed never seen the salad bowl before, or the wooden things she was using to toss the greens. “Im going to get a headache.”
“No, youre not. You want your friends to be happy, dont you?”
“Sure.”
“Were happy, arent we?”
Cautious now, he replied, “Yes.”
“Were happy, and were in love. Ergo, you want your friends happy and in love, too. Right?”
“This is a trick question. So rather than answer it, Im going to distract you.”
“Im not making love with you while dinners cooking and Jordans upstairs.”
“That wasnt my idea, but I really like it. Im going to distract you by telling you that the kitchen guys are coming on Monday to start the remodel.”
“Really?” As hed planned, every other thought spilled out of her mind. “Really?” she repeated and leaped at him. “Oh, this is great! This is wonderful!”
“I thought that would do it. So, are you going to move in with me?”
She touched her lips to his. “Ask me again when the kitchens done.”
“Youre a tough one, Malory.”
* * *
AFTER a day of manual labor, Dana longed for a soak in a hot tub before she dived into her new resource books. But she lacked the courage to do it.
Since that realization was too mortifying to dwell on, she fantasized about the house shed buy one day. The big, secluded house. With a library the size of a barn.
And a Jacuzzi, she added as she pressed on the ache at the small of her back.
But until that happy day, she would settle for her apartment. Eventually, for all the rooms in her apartment, which included the one with the tub in it.
She could join a gym, she thought as she settled down to her books for an evening of research.
She hated gyms. They were full of people. Sweaty people. Naked people who would insist on sharing her Jacuzzi time.
It just wasnt worth the aggravation. Better to wait until she could afford her own place. Of course, when she could afford her own place—with Jacuzzi—it was unlikely that shed be spending eight hours scraping and painting until her back ached.
Ordering herself to settle down, she started on Othello . She had her own copy, of course. She had a copy of everything Shakespeare had written, but she wanted a different volume. A kind of fresh look, she thought.
